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232 · Sep 2015
Untitled
Poetic Thoughts Sep 2015
Everybody keeps telling me that
it’ll be okay and I’ll get through this alive
and that I have nothing to be worried about
but ****– I am so tired of hearing about
how I am supposed to make it through the day;
I just want somebody to tell me that yeah,
I might crash and burn, I might crumble like
a decrepit building under a roof too heavy
to hold, I might falter and trip and break
a few bones, I might not make it out of
this mess as neatly or as happily as I came
into it– and I want somebody to tell me that
it’s okay to **** up and it’s okay to fail and
it’s okay to make a mess of my life because
I’m so tired of these standards I’ve set for
myself– I want somebody to tell me I can
let go once in a while, I want to be able
to let go without losing myself I want to
be able to fall without going straight to hell–
I want somebody to tell me that I can be human
and that it’s nothing to be ashamed about.”
— I have been hiding the human inside of me in hopes of being perfect
#verbalreigns
231 · Oct 2015
Poetry Africa 2015
Poetic Thoughts Oct 2015
"He never spoke much, but I couldn't ignore the conversations his eyes communicated
#poetryafrica #2015 #poetry #Durban
228 · Aug 2015
Still.
Poetic Thoughts Aug 2015
Rap, poetry and books is how I escape reality. I just want to listen to good music, read good books and meet cool people but it is a still life.
Going nowhere. #still
226 · Oct 2015
Constellations
Poetic Thoughts Oct 2015
“You draw constellations
in my freckles.
I mean you ask me
not to fall in love with you
and then you go write poems
with your tongue
and draw constellations
in my freckles
#constellations #draw #tongue #freckles
225 · Aug 2015
01:29am
Poetic Thoughts Aug 2015
It's 01:29. I can feel the stress creeping in. I can also feel the energy shift. It's not a good one. IGCSE will humble you. I will know my fate in a few.
Short poem. #IGCSE #waiting #anxious #results #nosleep
224 · Oct 2015
Coffin.
Poetic Thoughts Oct 2015
A coffin seems more like a peaceful place to lay just silent and resting. No more hurting and melancholy. Just peace and serenity.
#coffin #depression #peace #melancholy #hurting
223 · Aug 2015
Revenge
Poetic Thoughts Aug 2015
The villainy you teach me I will execute & it shall go hard but I will better the instruction.
#merchantofVenice #Shylock #revenge
219 · Nov 2015
the kind of girl
Poetic Thoughts Nov 2015
She was the kind of girl that they named storms and stars after, the kind of girl that was born in a hurricane
#storm #hurricane #depression
218 · Nov 2015
Afraid
Poetic Thoughts Nov 2015
“I’m afraid to get used to the breath-taking glory of the midnight sky.
I’m afraid to lose my sense of wonder to mind-numbing routines.
How do I keep myself alive
#afraid #how #numb #depression
216 · Aug 2015
Heartache
Poetic Thoughts Aug 2015
What's the use of being happy if something comes along and ruins all the happiness?She doesn't deserve contentment. She will stop being happy and wait for all the stress and bad energy to creep in as usual. No happiness for her. It stops today.
This is where cold war by Marsha Ambrosius would start playing. #frustated #nohope #nohappiness
215 · Aug 2015
....
Poetic Thoughts Aug 2015
Stand as tall as time.
214 · Nov 2015
That girl
Poetic Thoughts Nov 2015
I'm the girl who lost her smile. It's gone, gone forever. Blown away by the wind.
#girl #lost #nosmile #gone #forever #depression
212 · Aug 2015
Africa
Poetic Thoughts Aug 2015
I wish for a better world where people smiling everywhere. Children happy as can be. No wars just peace and loving so please pray for our mother Africa.
#xenophobia #song #africa #peace
212 · Sep 2015
Scarred
Poetic Thoughts Sep 2015
I have made a habit of storing pieces of myself into others so that they have something to hold onto when they have lost themselves.
But I have learned that people are not so careful with what does not belong to them because now I am a just a walking dispensary of bruised knuckles and scarred hearts
211 · Oct 2015
waking up.
Poetic Thoughts Oct 2015
i wonder
what
waking up to me
feels like -
sunlight
healing your skin,
or
saltwater
burning your wounds?Probably saltwater burning my wounds.
#wakeup #wounds #saltwater ##depression
211 · Sep 2015
Untitled
Poetic Thoughts Sep 2015
Weeds grew between the cracks in my heart and the breaks in my bones but for some **** reason i decided the single dandelion that grew was the good in me and I call it Poetry...but sometimes, most times... all I call it is a lost cause and the grim reminder of the person I never became... I'm a writer...a performer, and I thrive for hearts and souls & Ink and Pens.
210 · Oct 2015
It isn't
Poetic Thoughts Oct 2015
“The point about hope is that it is something that occurs in very dark moments. It is like a flame in the darkness; it isn’t like a confidence and a promise.”
#hope #promise #darkness
210 · Oct 2015
Kill myself
Poetic Thoughts Oct 2015
I wait for my mother to go to bed
Its two am and I am sleeping in the living room yet again
I stay up all night
And close my eyes as I inhale even more smoke, as I try to **** myself even more”
#killmyself #depression #smoke #inhale
208 · Nov 2015
drown
Poetic Thoughts Nov 2015
“We cling to words like drowning men to straws. But still we drown, we drown
#drown #words #poetry
208 · Nov 2015
Heartbreak
Poetic Thoughts Nov 2015
“I don’t think heartbreak is a beautiful thing.
I don’t think not being able to sleep until 3 am is beautiful.
I don’t think changing multiple songs because it hurts too much to listen is beautiful.
I don’t think the pain that stains your cheek is art.
To me, heartbreak is something I would never wish upon my worst enemy. The act of being abandoned. Lost. Still haunted by a ghost that is long gone. Heartbreak is not beautiful nor art. Heartbreak are the needles puncturing you, making it impossible to forget
#heartbreak #3am #depression
205 · Nov 2015
Depression
Poetic Thoughts Nov 2015
When will my best be good anyway?It's being afraid of being alone with your own thoughts inside your room but not wanting anyone with you, taking 5 showers a day but still not feeling clean. I could get a hundred hours of sleep and still feel tired as hell, searching for a real definition of self. It's that thanks for nothing look that people will tell you to pray & everything will be okay. Biting you're nails till they bleed. You wouldn't call me crazy if you knew how much I hate me.
I was listening to this poem by Rage Almighty, a spoken word poet. #depression #hateme #tired #suffering #giveup #self #searching
202 · Oct 2015
Falling.
Poetic Thoughts Oct 2015
"I'm falling deeper, I can feel the crushing of the shells on the bottom of the ocean floor. I'm letting go of the drift, I've hit rock bottom."
#falling #deeper #rockbottom #crushing
202 · Aug 2015
No Title
Poetic Thoughts Aug 2015
“I’m not going to give you the world because you have your own. I’m not going to show you how beautiful is the mess that your mind was made of because you know. I’m only going to share my world with you and you can make home of it so I can get lost in yours.
201 · Oct 2015
Depression.
Poetic Thoughts Oct 2015
"Here I am stuck in the empty waters, struggling to get out. The water so deep I can't feel the ground. I can't feel the ground. The darkness is in the air. It almost feels like I am drowning, there's no room to breathe I'm going under."
#depression #drowning #under #darkness #struggling
200 · Nov 2015
Untitled
Poetic Thoughts Nov 2015
“I have lived my entire life
without breaking a single bone
and yet somehow none
of them could protect me
from splintering my soul–
somewhere along the way,
I became reckless and sharp,
shattered and dark,
somewhere along the way
I gave up on you and baby
I gave up on myself too.”

— The only angel I had fell through the clouds
200 · Oct 2015
Tired.
Poetic Thoughts Oct 2015
I woke up and it felt like suicide again. This depression always succeeds. All the time. I am tired and no, not the sleepy kind of tired but the emotionally and physically drained type of tired. I hope, I keep the faith but that gets me nowhere because yet again I feel like this all the time. I want to escape. Good things were never for me. Happiness was never for me.
#tired #depression #escape #suicide
200 · Aug 2015
Untitled
Poetic Thoughts Aug 2015
“I didn’t love him.
I barely liked him.
But he was heat at the peak of summer,
and he kissed like I was his last meal–
And I was looking for a body to drown in.
Back then, I had a candy-coated heart,
like flowers tucked in the pages of a hymnal,
and he had the thick, calloused hands
of a working man.
He talked like a friend,
but touched like an animal
and my bubblegum chest wanted that
in ways it couldn’t understand yet.
He asked what colors I kissed in
and the poet in me cracked open and spilled over–
Exposed like an open wound,
like all the soft, pink parts of me
I didn’t know about.
He was a means to an end:
my Machiavellian loss of innocence.
I don’t regret him,
but sometimes I wish I did.”
#verbalreigns
199 · Sep 2015
Comfort
Poetic Thoughts Sep 2015
Depression, a strange yet comforting company.
#depressed #depression #tired #comfort
198 · Oct 2015
Pages of books.
Poetic Thoughts Oct 2015
“I spent my life folded between the pages of books.
In the absence of human relationships I formed bonds with paper characters. I lived love and loss through stories threaded in history; I experienced adolescence by association. My world is one interwoven web of words, stringing limb to limb, bone to sinew, thoughts and images all together. I am a being comprised of letters, a character created by sentences, a figment of imagination formed through fiction.”
#pages #books #words #thoughts #images #characters #letters #sentences
194 · Sep 2015
Enough
Poetic Thoughts Sep 2015
“I have written a thousand poems. And nine hundred of them are about you. Do you know what that means? It means you’re ****** heavy. Get off my heart, and get out of my mind. I’ve had enough"
#verbalreigns
194 · Oct 2015
Untitled
Poetic Thoughts Oct 2015
At the very least, poetry and science are sisters.
But, more likely, they are the soul and the body,
sharing a single heart,
whispering arias to the universe,
waiting to hear it singing back
194 · Sep 2015
Empty.
Poetic Thoughts Sep 2015
“These days, I’m at my emptiest.”
188 · Sep 2015
Done
Poetic Thoughts Sep 2015
Slowly dying inside each and everyday. I'm no longer trying to survive. Actually, I'm done trying with all of this. I scream "Anxiety, go way!No one likes you" it's always there pulling me down. Never been destined for happiness in my life and I'm done trying finding it. Something awful repeatedly happens. I'm always waiting on my flashlight, some light would be wonderful for once but I guess there is no light. I'm done. Done.
Life isn't really going right at this stage. #sad #nohappiness #suffering #anxiety #done
187 · Oct 2015
drowned
Poetic Thoughts Oct 2015
"I've sunk to my lowest point, I've drowned."
#depression #sunk #lowestpoint
186 · Oct 2015
Poetry
Poetic Thoughts Oct 2015
Poetry approached me in that chaos of raw inverted power and leaned over and tapped me on the shoulder, said, “You need to learn how to listen, you need grace, you need to learn how to speak. You’re coming with me.” I did not walk off into the sunset with poetry, or hit the town with a blaze of gunfire with poetry guarding my back. Rather, the journey toward poetry worked exactly as the process of writing a poem. It started from the inside out, then turned back in to complete a movement. And then on and on in the manner of a ripple in water, a song in the air
#verbalreigns #poetry
177 · Oct 2015
Words
Poetic Thoughts Oct 2015
I wouldn’t even call this poetry.
Words just happen to be
One of my only escapes.
#verbalreigns #escapes #words
175 · Sep 2015
What?!
Poetic Thoughts Sep 2015
Peace is the mission. What is peace?I've never experienced such so, sadly, I do not know what you are talking about.
#depressed #peace #whatispeace
175 · Oct 2015
No
Poetic Thoughts Oct 2015
No
“There is no normal
There is no okay
But there’s a kind of normal
And a kind of okay
That makes everything berable”
#nonormal #nookay #poetry
174 · Aug 2015
Untitled
Poetic Thoughts Aug 2015
Man we must all be blind playing a game of optical illusion.
174 · Sep 2015
Untitled
Poetic Thoughts Sep 2015
Sometimes i wake up dead
both of my lungs decaying
i light up another cigarette
exhaling out the thought of you
& watching it billow out into sun-
light from the shadows only for
the knot in my heart to tighten
because i’m reminded of your
beautiful smile that’s why i hide in the shadows and run with the wolves chasing the moon knowing that no matter how far i run she’ll always be 237,000 miles away & when the world became heavy the right thing to do would be to just shrug it off and to remember to breathe and be a woman
and just dealing with it the way i deal with swings at poker with unwavering stillness grounded in the calm knowing that everything is okay and unbroken but i didn’t. when you saw my soul bleed
i wanted to die. you were not supposed to see me hurting. how did you end up in my cave? or did i drag you into the darkness?
i never wanted to give you a sneak peak into the shadows while i was knee deep more than three feet with my insecurities
lying against the sharp edge of your critiques handing you a love note i wrote on a receipt you’re a beautiful and sweet but me? i’m on a spiel street do you feel me?
i feel weak please **** me i wish i could be all that you want me to be but i can’t. i can only be me and hope you see the real me.
#verbalreigns
172 · Oct 2015
I cant
Poetic Thoughts Oct 2015
“I can’t speak my mind. But I can write it well enough.”
#speak #write #mind
171 · Sep 2015
Untitled
Poetic Thoughts Sep 2015
When I found myself,
there was no need
in seeking validation
from anyone to inform me
on what I should become.
I did not fall apart many times,
to rise back up for anyone
to dictate where I am heading
in this life.
I am still finding myself
everyday in many ways.
Yesterday doesn’t stop
the learning process of
becoming a better woman.
Today is a new day,
there so much for us to learn
and share with the world.
#verbalreigns
171 · Aug 2015
I was a little naïve girl
Poetic Thoughts Aug 2015
I am frightened to hear about your twisted ways. Each occasion I am encircled by you and think to how naïve I had been. I pray every night for God to forgive you for your sins and to give me the strength to fix this fiasco of an equation which is yet to be solved.  I had no idea your edges were rough to me, you were pure. I've got a volcanic eruption going on in my chest, wrapped with a soul that wants to be laid to rest filled with content. My illusion of who you were  was shattered by the truth of who you are so hopefully, probably you will look me in the face, whisper those words of accuracy and veracity.
#naive #feltstupid #lies #hurt #sad #poetry
169 · Oct 2015
Dark road.
Poetic Thoughts Oct 2015
When the road is dark and you no longer can see.
#dark #road #cant #see
168 · Sep 2015
Untitled
Poetic Thoughts Sep 2015
“somehow you’ve made the mistake of seeing me as a writer. i am a teller of stories, but sorely only capable of the truth. unfortunately there are no lyrics here. what you’ve taken for artful is nothing more than my own beautifully jotted tragedy…”
166 · Oct 2015
In love
Poetic Thoughts Oct 2015
I am in love with letters and the words they create.
#inlove #create #words
165 · Oct 2015
Have you?
Poetic Thoughts Oct 2015
Have you had your soul hurt so bad that you felt like dying?
#haveyou #soul #dying #depression
164 · Sep 2015
Quote
Poetic Thoughts Sep 2015
"Feelings guarded, heart on lock"
I read this when I saw it on my TL on Twitter and it made so much sense to me.
164 · Sep 2015
Go far away
Poetic Thoughts Sep 2015
I want to disappear, become invisible. I'd rather lay in a coffin than live this life.
#sad #frustrated #suicidal #depression
163 · Oct 2015
Funeral
Poetic Thoughts Oct 2015
I'm living in a permanent funeral.
#funeral #permanent #living
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