It's entirely, too, quiet.

Tonight, for the first time in a long while, I am angry.
This, of course, is to be reread in a very matter of factly and sing-song voice.
I'm not sure where it's coming from;
Perhaps, I am simply exhausted
Perhaps, I am simply exhausted.
This is what I tell myself.
I sit locked away in the bathroom listening to the leaking bathtub faucet.
Honestly, it's rather annoying.
Wasteful.
I'm moody.
Maybe because
I've been smoking so much ***
Or
Maybe I need a stiff,
No very stiff,
Drink.


Drink

Drink
Drink.
I don't know what could be wrong.
I highlight,
in my head of course,
All my flaws
Nothing there
seems to be causing this Anger

Maybe it's all the political turmoil

Though that probably isn't it.

I think

I think

I think I'll shower and have some tea.
Drink some ***
And smoke a bit
Cuddle the beautiful woman
I snapped at
After a very necessary apology
A kiss and some rest.

I'm tired.

So I'm not angry

I'm grumpy.

I'm sorry.

hands bestowing love
loves bidding
poets fingers on the pulse

I sit thumbs over my iPods key board
On a bus to work
Thinking back with a feeling;
Longing?
Nostalgia?
Regret?
What is this?
A question with no answer?
Or
A question with many?
Is death's grip on reality
as strong as I perceive?
I remember sitting in your class
I remember thinking endlessly,
"How do I overcome this anger"
When I learned of your death,
I was at home,
Packing,
Planning my escape to the west coast.
Where Summer becomes Fall
And
Fall never ends until Summer's return.

I'm not sure what day it was,
I'm not sure I want to remember.
No, I know I don't.
It's approaching a year.

I regret not seeing you more.
The indefinite absence of you
Has me thinking a lot.

About mortality
About spirituality
About what I can call progress.

Losing you is but growing pains.
Losing you is but life
Losing you is unfair
To the lost sheep you'll never guide
To the path of self worth.
In your place I'll do my best.
But I don't know if my heart is capable of unconditional love
Like yours for your students was.

Something in the way she moves
Attracts me like no other lover
Something in the words she says
Keeps me by her side

In the late hours
Post work
Post civilzation.
When I'm drunk in our room
listening to music
Looking at you.
I realize how lucky I am.

You listen to you my bad jokes
You let me annoy you.
You listen to my music
You're there when I'm *****
and you remind me what it's like
To feel as wanted (sexually)
as I want you

I feel I never tell you enough.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.

Remember;
things get better.
Little
Large
Relevant
Nonsequester

Work for it
Set little goals

Question your motives.

Beat yourself up for mistakes you make
So that you are the reason you grow stronger

Live for you.
Please no one