Denxai Mcmillon

Denxai Mcmillon Jan 2016

I love you.
It's so simple to say
Harder to prove
And
That's okay.
I love you.
For the kind soul you have
For the limitless love behind those eyes
For the way you radiate grace.
I love you.
I want to tank you
for helping me bring my brother some peace of mind from a really bad high.
I want to thank you for being by my side to help me keep my cool.

I love you.
So much.
I want to thank you for letting me see when you get grumpy
Or angry
Upset
Disheartened.
Being let in by you is an honor.
I want to thank you for loving the beaten, broken man I was.
I want to thank you for helping me stand when I'm too drunk.
Or
When I'm so emotionally distraught that I collapse.
I love you.
I am truly
Truly
Thankful for you.
Thankful for your patience
Thankful for your forgiveness
Thankful that there is an us.
Thank you.

Denxai Mcmillon Jan 2016

I'm a poor sponsor

How am I to help
When I can not tell you no
I am so sorry.

Denxai Mcmillon Jan 2016

Fchd

It's weird; being here.
I'm here to support the woman I love.
I'm here willingly and happily
Soon it will be my turn
Soon I'll be fixing myself
But as of right now the TV plays pbs shows.
And the old Asian woman sitting across from me has been eyeing me up and down.
Reminding me that back where I was conceived,
I'll never be accepted.
Just like I'll never be accepted in my home country

Denxai Mcmillon Jan 2016

A reminder to my love.

I see the ache in your eyes
I see, saw and will see it
As long as I'm by your side.
I will never know what happened behind the doors
I'm not sure if I want to.
To leave you that sense of privacy
Or
Maybe it's because me not knowing
Is the only thing keeping him alive;
Nevertheless, I have a few things to give you.
Not words of advice.
Not words to tell you in which way you should live.
Words of who you truly are.
You are as beautiful as my hair is unruly.
You are as gentle as the moons light.
You are as kind as a lioness
You hold the power of the same lioness
You love deeply
You are so important.
Not only to me.
To your mother
To your sisters
To the brothers you find in my family.
To the sisters you find in my family
To the father you find in my family
Scratch that "my"
And replace it with "our"
I love you.
I love the person you are
Faults
And
All.
You don't have to carry the weight alone.
I'll carry half.
And when you're too tired to continue
I'll carry your half and you.
I love you.
You are more valuable than any gem
You are more valuable than any stone
You are valuable.
Never forget
You are loved.
On your darkest days
On your brightest nights
Drunk
High
Somewhere inbetween.
You are loved.

Denxai Mcmillon Dec 2015

;

I don't know where to start, I don't want to, honestly.
The inevitably that I'll somehow **** up my life is all too real.
I'm kind of like a comma or some other form of punctuation.
I serve a purpose.
At least I hope I do.
I'm a slow reader.
So punctuation is important to me.
I take in every period, comma, semicolon, colon and so on and so forth.
It is, without any doubt, easy to ignore punctuation and miss the beauty of the sentence you just skimmed.
So breeze past everything
And miss me.
It's okay,
It's okay.

Denxai Mcmillon Dec 2015

By storms end

I'm not in the mood for writing.
I'm not who I want to be.
That's what's killing me.
I have such high standards
For my own self worth
I've dug my grave far too deep.
And it's starting to rain.
I hope that I can fill this pit with water and pull myself out by the storms end.
For now, I'll be okay feeling worthless.

Denxai Mcmillon Dec 2015

Rainy eve of Christmas Eve

A bus ride at a quarter till eleven
An angel rocks back and forth
looking for a comfortable place to sleep
Head on window
Head on my shoulder
Oh my dear
Sleep right here
I'll open my rib cage and let you sleep soundly in me.
With my heart as a pillow
With my lungs as a blanket.
Sleep soundly.