I have a negative outlook on love
It's too much trouble to pursue
I'm trying so ******* hard
But I'm invisible
And you're intangible
I can hold you through every night
And you'll look through me
It doesn't matter what you try and say
This is how you've made me feel
This is how I see love now.
I'm so in love with you.
A love that's breaking me
A love that I want to work
A love I don't want to give up on.
Maybe if I give up on you
I'll be visible.
Maybe if I give up now
You'll want me.
But probably not
So I'll just keep loving you until it puts me at the edge of life and death
And walk away so broken giving up will be easy.
I wish you wanted me the way that I want you.
But in real life, wishes don't usually come true.

you never spent those love coupons i made you, guess i wasn't worth it

Somehow I'm losing my grip.
Somewhere along the lines I lost sight
Since I couldn't be a marine
My drive has died
I'm lying to everyone.
I'm lying through my smile
It's just that these stress related canker sores
under my tongue make it hard to talk.
I want to be alone
With you.
I want to cry with my head in your lap
But that desire is as misplaced
As my frustration
I feel so vacant
I am so hollow
that if you where to
drop a penny down my throat
It'd take months before you heard the echo.
I don't know what passion feels like
I forget what motivation tastes like
I no longer hear my determination
All I have left are these depressing poems
A handful of self doubt
And a pocket with a broken spirit.
I remember when the sunrise meant something.
I remember when the moons light filled me with joy.
Maybe it's just this week.
Maybe it's just a bad day.
I hope that this headache stops
before I snap my phone in half.
I hope I can avert my gaze from the simple solution of cigarette smoke
And a circular burn somewhere on my upper arm.
The devil on my shoulder
Killed my conscious Months ago
His corpse still dangles from my neck like branches on a willow tree.
God, someone **** me and make it look like suicide.
I don't have the guts to spill my own myself anymore.

I'm starting to dismiss
the thought of marriage
with the woman I love.
Not because my feelings are dying
But because I feel like the harder I try
The harder she'll push me away.
So I'll pretend not to care
I'll pretend I'm not hurt
Because I love her so much her happiness comes first.
This time, I'm putting myself on the back burner.

What's left to say?

I'm growing distant from myself
As if the simplistic notion of happiness
Is the ocean spread between emotions
And I am but a ship,
Adrift.
I'm surrounded on all sides
By water that I can not drink.
Why is it that smiling is so
So unbearably difficult?
I know how to force a smile
Why do I have no desire,
No ambition.
Why am I struggling so **** hard?
Is there really a light at the end?
Or did I think that into exsistance?
I'm a ship
And I'm not sinking,
I'm just adrift.
Adrift isn't what I want
My sails are lowered
So where in the blazes
Is the southern wind
to push my ship
And the corners of my mouth
North?

I wasn't born here
I refuse to die here
But Frederick
You are my home
From the allIes of downtown,
The winding roads of the mountains,
The constant buzz of route 40.
I hate this town
Where I finished high school
Where I learned what love is
Where I learned to drive
Learned to skate
Learned to forgive
From smoking **** till I couldn't stand
Or
Drinking until I was giddy
I've learned
I've grown
And in this town
I've found my home.