Wanna move far away,
put thousands of miles between you and me.
You wouldn't even notice if I was gone,
if I hadn't called.
Hate living in a big small town,
turn the corner and hide from the crowd,
of people talking about you and how they don't want you around,
talking about you from a distance,
not knowing you can hear them,
yes, I listen.
Hate being the queen of the unpopular in a popular world.
Sometimes I just wanna rip off my skin and be,
anyone but me.

Eat my bones.
Shred my skin.
A few lessons are learned within.
Cuts and corridors,
failing and falling,
laughing at it all, at last.
Please the pain.
Please, the pain.
No matter the gain.
Minutes on the screens
enveloped in my dreams.
Word is new,
ending too soon.
Beginnings forget
to remember it all too.
End it to start a new.
New is just another lie too.
Travel the clock,
afraid of time,
remember to hold back,
trying not to cry.
At arms length an open book,
feel the ink drip down my throat.
No matter the difference,
deserve the change,
Paint chips collecting lead,
a lie as you hold that pencil near your head.
Language speaks,
lacks remorse,
changes our memories,
changes the course.
Not straight or narrow,
but forward on.
Follow me on
into this storm.

Snow water on the white bed sheets,
another 25 hours won't help this weak,
my mind is rarely at peace.
All it does is go,
the ice is full,
I still can't breathe,
Since about December 2019,
in that Vegas hotel room,
High as a dolphin
(You probably won't get that)
You probably won't get,
that my temperature is wrong,
I can't feel the cold the way you do anymore,
my welcome shivers are gone.

It's crazy how just one message can change your whole mood.
"They're intubating me,
hopefully only for five days,
don't tell your mom,
I'll see you soon".
Almost a month of this medical misery,
waking up each day in my own form of atrophy.
Scratch until my skins raw,
blood under my nails,
didn't feel that at all.
It all happened so fast we didn't have a plan,
caught up in the middle of this disaster first hand.
It's all new,
this fall sweater of numbness and terrible news.

Thinking about walking across the street,
about bare feet,
about that time I met you in Florida,
and I didn't even know ya.
It all feels like ages ago,
songs stuck in my head from back then on the radio,
we just want to drive around slow,
let it go, let it go.

Blame it on Kurt Cobain,
all the music and all the rain.
Stay out of Washington,
take the train out of town.
A Volkswagen in the parking lot at dawn.
"Come here girl, don't you run,
we're about to have some fun!"
Sometimes you're a tourist in a mega church garage,
wishing you were into some kind of God,
or something like faith,
but we know better,
and bury our luck in vein.