I'm trying to protect the little girl inside of me.
Protect her from reality.
Of losing skin and losing faith.
Of doing more than she can take.

My hero has landed back on mars.
His love left written in the stars.
That rebel heart that beats for us-
We've lost so many, I miss you, Bowie.

I stand behind enemy lines,
Hiding in the shadows.
"There's no war," they whisper
As they laugh around a fire and cheat at cards-
Old flintlocks and rifles and powder barrels
Uniforms tossed aside, I'm,
Still covered in the grime, hiding the glare from my eyes
Glued to the dirt walls of this trench
"It's almost Christmas", they say
Don't you know what happened in WW1?
How they all went out to shake hands on Christmas day?
I'm in enemy territory, even while they find me and lead me
To the fire, where they take off my soaked coat and insist
There is no war. There is no battle.
But the fight I've fought will never tire-
It's so much easier than opening my eyes
To see that I'm loved, and part of something,
Just to realize....
Who wins the war? The victims or the victors?
I've hated this year since the beginning, I just wish I knew
If next year or the next, or these people and places I miss,
Are worth fighting for.

Oh how the Blue-Bird falls from grace,
To be torn apart by bonebirds at the shore.
Were I an Icarus, were I Achilles, but I couldn't be more sure.
That my days were outnumbered by my whims and my follies.
And the blackness of falling, and the grey of the rain.
Ever that I was a danger and a risk, ever that I denied
Is there anyone there, can swear they've nothing to hide?
Then swear it to me now.
Can I but seek my pension through the fires of the 7,
Walk my way out as Orpheus, through the gates of redemption
Or do I make sick of myself, ill and repentant.
Wary to pay any of greed nor of love, monetary nor mention

But of what status and peace of mind I may have bought myself in times before. I wonder, I wonder....