This close to Hollywood, the stars are always out
Some come to see movies where I work,
Some say hi, others don't
They all know my name, all the same....

Most come over to me, just because you're with me
You know their numbers, know their tells,
They care about you, yeah
Their boyfriends do, too

I'm here, awkward as hell,
Used to get a hello and a hug,
Now I'm lucky for a nod, oh

I love you, you're amazing
Smart and older, better job, apartment room you don't have to share,
Manage his page, ah, I admire him...
But he only winks at you

And this other woman, my teacher adores her
Thought it was great he asked me to be his student,
I'm still proud, I will always stand proud,
But I'm not his new roommate, or his roommate's fiance,
Still I get their snaps, feel a little left out
I feel a little left out.

I'm not jealous, not really.
Don't want to be where you are.
I just want to be equal. I love you all,
Friends and stars,
I just want to be up there in the heavens, too
Not stuck in this planetarium.

I don't want to be stuck on the ground

In the span of a conversation, you gave me the universe
It was pillow talk, cuddled up, we talked about the galaxies,
It was sharing the passenger seat of my car, debating about stars.
In the span of a weekend, you gave me ever after,
And I gave you stories and support and humor and care-free,
The first lines of Chapter 1, dreams and plans
So when you left, you left me the night sky, only, the constellations had diminished,
And I left you with pages & the index of a book we never finished.

Preset
What can I get for you this evening?
Preset
Do you happen to have our stubs card?
Preset
Would you like a receipt-
Wait.
Error.
Error.
Preset.
Is there anything else?
Preset
Do you have any rewards on your card?
Would you like me to see if there are any?
Preset
Would you like to use your rewards today, or save them?
Preset
Would you like a receipt?
Preset
Have a wonderful night. Day. Evening. What time is it.
**** why did I preset that phrase...

Hello!
Preset
What can I get for you this... today
Preset
Large....? Soda, popcorn?
Preset
I don't set the prices
Preset
I am a robot. Cashier number 18. I have 10 modes and 30 presets.
Would you like to hear Maltesers BOGO preset?
2 for 6 preset?
Hot Dogs are Out, preset?
I don't have any receipts, please don't yell at me preset
Funny joke based on your N7 jacket or Pokemon Go app preset?
Ha.
Ha.
Preset
I apologize for your wait, give me one moment I'll be right with you-
With you-
With you-
WitH yoU

I missed you.
I'm so glad we're together again.
You look amazing.
How's the studying going?
Is the Greenhouse finished?
I guess we should **** the garden, today.
Teach me to make Rhubarb pie?
You don't know how to dice garlic!
Let's go to sleep.
I love you.
Let's go outside today.
I'd like to make pizza for dinner tonight.
Let's see a movie.
Movies.
Let's lay on the floor with a fort of blankets and pillows and drink wine
And watch movies..
Let's be you and us.
Let's.
LeT's
Go to the movies....
Presets Deleted

Would you like anything to drink, with that?

Everyone who gets close to me, blocks me and runs far away from me
But man, if I didn't ******* warn you guys to begin with

I was wild, with a hunger in my eyes,
It's still there, but faint
Still, I feel,  most of me has died
I can feel the planet breathing. I can
feel the seconds ticking.
There's the knowing, and not knowing, and painful crying
For no good reason.
Until I fall back into rote.
I'm a ghost. I'm a glass child. I'm stinging.

I've got a human heart,
And it tends to break
So here's what I'm gonna do,
I'll replace it with something new

I want a clockwork heart,
Made with coils and gears,
Because maybe then,
I won't shed these tears

If I'm wired with oil,
And not flesh and blood,
Would I be happier then,
Or would it hurt just as much?

Oh, I want a clockwork heart,
I want precision and grace,
I want to chase the stars,
I want a memory drive I can erase

Because these memories of you,
Never cease to hurt me,
But with a clockwork heart....
Couldn't I make you see?

I want a clockwork heart.

Dear dad,
I know I'm not the daughter you wanted,
But who knows?
Sometimes it feels like it's been
forever,
Sometimes it feels like you're still
here
I love you, I know I never said that enough,
I know I'll never get to say it again.
I love you.
I miss hugging you, I miss struggling to keep up with you.
I miss not understanding your speeches.
Fearing you, as I still fear, what you'd have to say
About, and to me now.
I love you anyway.
I wish I could be with you, to put off fireworks, like we used to.
There are so many stories unwritten and so many arcs retconned,
Since you died, my life took a different turn,
Than wherever I was headed, with you alive.
Some years I do better than others,
But this year I'm falling apart.
The 4th will someday be the best memory, and the best day to celebrate
Your life, and all the 4ths we spent together.
Until that day, the 4th is a day without light.
Goodnight, oh, but never goodbye.