It’s snowing.
The kids are outside,
laughing, building little moments,
As they cuddle the snow
In their hands,
mothers framing their joy
maybe it’s their first time
seeing snow in person.

For me, it’s only the second.
The first was barely snow,
more like ice
brushing concrete,
clinging briefly,
melting as if it knew
it didn’t belong,
Inevitable.

Back then,
a silhouette followed me,
a woman I loved.
Her eyes rested on my shoulders,
her steps trailing mine,
as I, spellbound by the ice and the cold,
ran wild across empty, frozen parking lots.

In another life,
I might have prayed,
might have begged,
Might have hoped
for that moment to stretch forever,
but my hands are hurting now,
and the snow is already melting.

Hoy me desvanezco
entre las sombras
de un ayer.

He escrito tanto
que ya no sé
qué debo sentir.

Ya no lloro
como solía llorar,
pero amo aún
como solía amar.

¿Será crecer
el no sentir?
Entonces,
¿para qué crecer?

Sufrimiento inútil
que trae felicidad,
shots de dopamina
en botellitas de
cincuenta miligramos.

Qué pena vivir,
no sentir,
desaparecer.

Esperaré la primavera,
con petunias y rosas,
árboles de colores,
y un frío
que puedo soportar.

Pero qué pereza
esto de vivir
si no pudiera amar
ni sonreír.

Hoy salgo a las calles
a caminar,
me perderé en los ojos
de extraños,
ojos llenos de vida
y de potencial,

que han amado,
que han despreciado.

Y conectaré con quienes,
como yo,
también desaparecieron
en busca de su ser

Every morning,
when the city still sleeps,
and skyscrapers glow softly
against the dark canvas,
I drive through
its quiet pulse,
finding a strange solace
in the mundane.

The beauty of the artificial
like catching the gaze
of someone you love,
their eyes familiar,
or cradling a warm cup of coffee
on a bitter winter morning.

Don’t get me wrong,
my mind still wrestles
with suicide notes,
drafts of nothingness
beyond death,
or whispers of
reincarnation.

But I’ve been learning
to linger in the sunlight,
to cherish a good conversation
with someone twice my age,
to lose myself, head nodding,
to a new album
on the drive home.

Maybe it isn’t so bad,
even if, some days,
it feels like
they’re winning.

I’m no killer,
But every once
In a while
I look at
The knifes
And ponder
A little too hard,
So instead I grab
My jacket and go
Outside, smoke
A cigarette,
watch the rain
Caress the concrete,
Creating little
Rivers,
I wonder
If my blood
Would pool,
Or if it’ll run,
What oceans
Will it find?

How heavy it is
that I seem to find
you in the eyes
of those I love now.

So inconsiderate,
wretched ghost,
poltergeist,
specter that haunts
my every sleep.

Following me
into every store,
every car,
every plane,
and boat.

How could
I ever live
without you,
when it’s you
that haunts
me?

I’ve met a beautiful woman,
her face native to a land
that’s not mine
but I would still recognize it.

There’s no second thought about it:
she’s native by blood,
by eyes,
by cheekbones,
by the warmth in her skin,

a warmth that transcends
her shirt, my shirt,
my skin,
finding its way toward my soul.

Lightning strikes twice
campfires and oven mitts.

What a disrespectful way
to love someone,
but I wouldn’t wait
to love her.

I think I should
disappear
for a little while,

hide beneath rocks,
sleep on park benches,
let the world forget me.

I’m throwing all
my effort
into nothingness

it offers no response,
no echo,
no hope.

Tired eyes,
a heart in despair,
waiting.

You must
taste me first
to love me

like I’ve been loved.
Oh, how I
need love now.

I wonder how long
consequences
will shadow me,

grappling tight
to the hunch
on my back.

Nothing is deserved,
or do I know
I deserve better?

When will a
hungry man
find rest enough

to stand,
to provide,
to believe,
to want?

Jesus, why am i like this?
Why does nostalgia run
Through my veins like
It should be there,
If the feeling leaves,
I would probably miss
It too.

Back home,
lying down after a nightly walk,
the sky transforms,
a ceiling lit with holiday fireworks,
a web of little light bulbs
that flicker into shapes,
I see a a kite, and a smaller kite,
things unseen in the dim of the city.

Yet, I still feel lonely,
in the city,
Or in the corner streets I once knew.
I rise and walk
towards a home I once called home.

Each step, heavy with melancholy,
Some share the rythm.
Hands buried in my pockets,
holding on tightly,
somehow,
to my heart.

The ship goes down again,
And I go down with it,

Pummeled by opposing waves,
I linger.

Another pair of eyes,
Another warmth against my skin,

Another strand of hair
My hands have traced

Built castles,
And demolished them.

Turbulence,
So much turbulence,

I drown
In this everlasting feeling.

Yet, I reach for the surface,
Moonlight just out of my grasp.

home cooked dinners,
Fresh cinnamon brownies,

Just out of the oven,
A last minute road trip

Your hands, my hands,
Your lips, my lips.

Another soul
To miss.

Many times I've loved,
And many times I've
Written about love.

Many times I've left,
And many times I've
Written about leaving.

I've loved with my
Heart in hand,
Blood pooling,
Words flying
Out of my mouth,
Crashing upon their skin
In an act of valor.

The same thing
I could say about leaving
Words sharp,
Striking like the edge of a storm,
Breaking upon the silence.

But it was just love,
And I wasn’t brave.
And it was just leaving,
And it wasn’t brave.

No te he tenido mucho,
pero ya siento tu ausencia.

Mis ojos recorren calles,
buscándote en cada esquina,

Ojos que conocieron
tus mejillas
mucho antes
que mis manos
tuvieron tus caderas,
ardientes en un mar
de carne y migajas de pan.

En tu piel,
color café con leche,
me ahogaba
mientras te observaba.

Y, si somos honestos,
amor mío,
nunca te he tenido,
ni cerca, ni lejos.

Tal vez,
nunca te tendré.
Pero cuánto te anhelo.

Te llevaste
las lluvias de mayo
y trajiste
flores de loto
a lagos ya rebosantes.

Sembraste girasoles
que se alimentan
de la luz
en tu sonrisa.

Te llevaste
el dolor de mis piernas
para que pudiera andar,
vagabundo,
bajo las sombras
de la luna llena
en tu pelo.

Amor mío,
hoy te tuve cerca,
pero te fuiste,
y no sé qué hacer
con mis ojos.

I feel more at home lately
Alone and lost,
Learning, despite
The agonizing
Disappointment
I have in myself.

Every once in a while,
I look in the mirror,
Observe the body that is,
And think of what once was.
It has changed so much
In the span of you
Not being here with me.

Your absence left
A time stamp,
Like a terrible
Natural disaster,
One everyone remembers.

I should have
Hidden you,
Like a bad cut,
A self inflicted burn,
Or a cat not meant to be inside
Because you've been told for ages
You are allergic.

You’re right.
I’ve become someone
My dad would be proud of,
And the very thing
That drove my mom insane.

But she’s learned to forgive,
Left hate buried
In the back of the cabinets,
Behind clean dishes.

She smiles like sunny days.
She hugs like she’s trying
To pull me back
Into her skin
Deep into who I was
Before time, chores,
Nine to fives, broken promises,
And you.

I’ve been enjoying
wandering thrift stores,
finding clothes I never thought
I’d wear before.

Everyone rummages
through hand me downs,
worn jeans, washed-out shirts
and I rummage too,
the scent of cigarettes
lingering on my fingertips,
cheap cologne
leaving hickeys on my neck.

This city has seen me
turn into a better man,
or maybe just a man.
I hope I’ve been better.

Outside, I drive
through avenues of skyscrapers,
no left turns, only right.
I envy them,
their grandeur,
how they bask in the afternoon sun,
shiny and unbothered.

They’re cared for,
with workers dangling high,
cleaning windows
on the 9th, maybe 10th floor.
They’re proud,
unshaken.

If I were as much man
as they are skyscrapers,
maybe things would feel lighter,
easier on the shoulders.

But then again
they haven’t been loved.
Of course not.
They are no one.

And there’s where I have the advantage.

I would chase the scent of your hair
down dark, eerie alleys.
A blessing, perhaps a curse,
if you were there
standing idle,
waiting for me to reach the end of your trace.

I would look up, breathless,
after rolling up and down
Through hills,
searching for you,
a hidden beauty among the others.

Let me kneel,
offering you my soul,
submitting my will.
I would kiss your thighs,
find all the ways to worship you.

My hands would run
through the cotton of your shirts,
seeking refuge underneath
defrosting in the campfire of your hips.

I would dance for rain
around the beauty marks of your body,
planting seeds of kisses,
waiting for a downpour.

Let me be drenched
in all that is you
completely, sorely
you.

I held you
tightly,
on top of an
eight-story parking lot,
right after a cigarette
and a long walk
down the bayou.

A city so similar,
yet so different
from our own,
the smell of desire
checking corners,
slipping through museum corridors,
obsessed with
uncentering paintings
drawn long before
you and me.

Before we leave,
to return to the mundane,
I perch a kiss,
so unnecessary,
but so needed.

Flowers start blooming,
first between cracks in the pavement,
then in the hollow of my chest.
Their roots stretch inward,
clinging to all that
once felt barren.

Petals unfurl
in places I thought
were long forgotten
soft violets behind my ribs,
sunflowers tracing
the outline of your smile.
Each bloom carries
the weight of us,
fragile, fleeting,
but alive.

I'm at that diner again,
sitting by myself
in a corner booth,
analyzing, observing,
thinking about this broken girl
I knew for a little while.

Her dad is dying
In the hospital,
Cirrhosis,
another tormented soul.
I'm glad I haven’t fallen
that deep,
but I see the appeal.

I told her
I can’t be friends
with her anymore.
I isolate when
things get difficult,
and I’m starting to notice
the walls,
having too many
late night drives.

Life has been hard
on her, on all of us.
I hope she finds peace
outside the bottle.

I only enjoy things
when they happen organically now
bars, new drinks,
a warm hug,
waking up
without the alarm.

Nostalgia and melancholy
what a heavy burden,
to carry a weighted heart.
But my arms are getting stronger,
learning to grip,
to lift,
to cradle it with grace.

I don’t know who to thank,
but I’m grateful.

God, I walked down
The whole neighborhood
Today in search of you,

I window shopped
Through people's houses,

Buying nothing
But hope and
Christmas spirit.

I finally reached
The place they say
Your soul resides.

Sat down and had
A conversation
With myself

It sounded more
Like an argument.
I felt out of place.

I don’t think you
Were present there,

Maybe more
In the sniff
Of my cold nose,

Or the reflection
Of holiday lights
On puddles in the street
Warm light bending
Across cold water.

The frost on my breath
Lingered longer
Than your presence did.

Maybe you’re not
In sanctuaries or sermons,
But in the faint glow
Of string lights
Through fire place windows,

Or in the sudden warmth
Of a stranger’s smile
The kind that disappears
As quickly as it came.

Still, the cold crept in,
Needling through my jacket
As I walked back home,
Hands empty.

What a scam.

Oh, little
Prisoner of
Moments
And the
Materialistic,
Misled
And
Misunderstood,
When will
You find your
Own way?
Be late on rent,
Flip tables,
Argue with
The ones
Who mistreat
You.
Little one,
Things will
Be okay.

I saw her working,
as soon as I came
into this diner.
She shines a light,
I know it well,
yellow like sunflowers,
like rays of sunshine.

A presence so apparent,
it has me walking down
the street with a smile,
while I stitch my heart
together again,
maybe for the last time.

Just wait for me
a little longer, please.
The leaves are just
starting to fall,
to decay.

Nunca pensé que
tendría hábitos malos,

que la vida me
enseñaría a vivir,

de manera más,
suave y amorosa,

como una madre
que quiere hijos,

los trata con paciencia
y ternura y rayos de sol,

que alumbra su cuarto
al amanecer,

y cuando las noches
se vuelven más

y más oscuras,
a cambio bebo

café por las mañanas,
para pelear con las

horas que no duermo,
y así mantenerme despierto,

y poder caminar en los
talones de las personas

que no lo merecen,
invirtiendo en las

sombras y lo que
desaparece en lo olvidado,

aguantando mi
corazón en una mano,

y un ramo de
flores en la otra.

Hoy desperté,
otra vez,
tras un día más sin trabajo,
desaparecido entre sábanas.

Chocan contra mi ventana
las 5:00 am,
y me amanezco soñando
con soñar un poquito más.

Persigo migajas de pan,
como hormiga en el desierto,
me desvelo de hambre
y busco hasta la más diminuta gota
de agua en medio de sombras.

Sombras de lagunas
que algún día vieron vida
en el eco de sus ojos.

Necesito un diluvio, Dios.
Manda mares,
ahógame en mí mismo
y déjame soñar con algo más.

Siento que merezco más.

The adrenaline rush fades,
leaving me dangling,
empty handed,
clutching nothing but
bloodied words.

What will become of me?
I thought I was ready
but when will it be enough?
How many lessons,
how much pain
must I endure?

God, I don’t
**** with you anymore.
All you know
is tough love.

When will it
finally
be enough?

Y me encuentro,
sentado en bloques
de cemento,
en medio de docenas
de árboles de Navidad
encerrados en corrales
que construí con mis propias manos.

Te miro,
y pienso en cómo
la vida nos ha tratado
tan mal, tan fría.
Y también en cómo
serían las cosas
entre tú y yo,
si hubiéramos subido
al mismo autobús
al mismo tiempo.

Miro en tus ojos
y no encuentro nada,
así que buscaré respuestas
en el cielo,
en las sombras de tu cabello,
escondido entre telas.

Cuánto me he perdido en ti
tanto tiempo, tanto cariño,
tantas hojas de papel
con tu nombre en tinta
de bolígrafos que ya no escriben,
tantas miradas llenas de sentimiento.

Cuánto me perdí en ti,
vagabundo en busca de un hogar,
caos andante
entre biombos fugaces,
con la extraña sensación
de ser alguien,
para ti y para mí.

I want to lay in the hands of death,
as my last breath fogs
the windows.

I want to be loved,
but love is a complicated thing
and I don’t know
if I deserve it.

I am tired.

Still,
I have decided
I want to live.

I put the seats
back in my
beat up Ford Fiesta.
Four drinks in,
my first bottle of soju,
a great night
with a new friend.

Something’s shifting,
healing,
and I’m scared
of what might come.
I tremble,
cold biting my skin
Like fire ants,
a lit cigarette
flares on my nails
with every drag.

Leaves are falling.

What a long week,
A long month, a long year,
Followed by long hours,
And long seconds.

I’ve resorted to selling
All my distractions—
And hell, was I distracted.

Now I sit in diners,
Drinking coffee
After a long night.

My pockets are empty,
But my soul keeps growing.
He’s starting to receive
Hand-me-downs from the public,
A new kind of love.

And I’m slowly
Finding myself.

I sit today,
In a corner
New york
Diner
In the
Middle
Of houston,
My eyes
Jump hoops
Around
the place,
As i wait
For my
second
Cup of
Coffee
To cool
Down,
And
My heart
Defrosts.

A good woman
stood by my side
for some time.
And she still
will be with me,
circulating through my veins.

I found her after a storm,
back in the isles
of scorching sun
and rain that purified the air
and created mudslides.

In the puddles of water,
her feet stood,
adored by earth,
by wind,
by glory.

I hope I did not leave you
when I went away, my love,
because you taught me tenderness.
Your kisses live in my heart,
and if I die today,
I know I will be buried
with this great love
you brought me.

I don’t wait for you anymore.
I’ve learned to enjoy
my own company.

Because when loneliness knocks
and wants you to change,
you sit and contemplate
under a starry sky.

And my love,
is it night.

Y quien pensaria,
Que estaria agradecido
que no mori
Cuando quise morir,

De la nada empeze
A vivir otra vez,
Con un cigarrillo
En las mañanas

Y una taza de cafe
Para mantenerme
Despierto,
Recorro calles

A pie, y devuelvo
El aire de mis pulmones
A la atmosfera,
Mientras paso

Las manos por las
Grietas de un arbol
Protegido por el
Govierno,

Que mucho habra visto,
Sentido y despreciado,
Sin temor a la muerte,
Ni a un futuro distante.

Pero por que hay que
Temerle a la muerte,
Y a los errores y las
Desgracias,

Si nada bueno
Viene de vivir,
Entonces sere
Como un arbol.

plantare mis raices
En un presente
Fuera de mi alcance,
Mientras pierdo
La cordura,

Respirare vida,
Y devolvere vida.

Lately I've felt
A new type
Of hunger,
The type that
Makes you wish
For something
Better.

I yell at the sky,
Full of desperation
And anger that boils
My blood and blisters
My skin,

In hopes of God
Chiming in and
Sitting down from
All his godly duties
To listen.

But the sky is empty,
Vacant of any life.
A strangely formed
Cloud walks by,

my bones weep
All left unsaid.

I lay in bed
Underneath the
Sheets in that
Spot where time
Seems to forward
Until grass starts
To grow through the
Mattress and vines
Cover the walls,
Civilizations
Fall through the
Cracks and the
Stars fade into
The dark,
Making this
Fleeting moment
A lot darker
And colder,
Hopefully i
Wake up tomorrow
To fresh air
And pretty flowers
With a nice scent
To adorn it,
Im glad i can still
Hope, God,
Im glad.

Me monto en mi carro
Por la mil decima vez
Esta semana,
Para despejar la mente.

El trafico sube y baja
Como la marea,
Las luces son olas
Que rompen contra
La brea, bajo el volumen
De mi musica para
Poder escuchar
Los ruidos de la ciudad.

Y paso rodando
Por calles con
Nombres de presidentes
De aqui, peleando con
El sueño y la pena
Que se agarra de
Mi cuello y descansa
En mi espalda.

Y he limpiado el
Cuarto antes de salir,
Con las esperanzas
De que cuando
Vuelva pueda dormir,
Pero que dificil es sin ti.

So despejo mi mente,
Con una nota y una
Vuelta en un carro
Que ya se le esta acabando
El tiempo, y que muchas
Penas me agobian
Esta noche mi amor.

Preferiria estar arropado
En tu piel,
Despues de bañarme
En el lago de tus ojos,
Mientras me seco las
Manos bajando las
Sogas de tu pelo,
Para asi encontrarme
Entre tus venas,
Y ahogarme en tu alma,
Que desespera me espera.

A lo mejor asi,
Se aclarisan
Mis ojeras.

Oh, Icarus
How was
The fall?

Was it joyful?
As the sun
Burns scars

Into your spine,
I still see a smile
On your face,

You *******.

Choose me,
Use me,
Let me
Take
Your
Troubles
Away.

I want to take you to a flower field,
Lay down, watch the stars as they shine,
And whisper things about how jealous
They are of your beauty.

Even if we are two different skies under the same atmosphere,
We will unite and make them talk
More and more about us—
The moon and the sun,
The never-ending fear
Mongering and unecesary
Stress that will come to us, forgotten.

And the only thing we will hear
Is the whisper of the stars.

Keep calm and wait.
Wait for our futures to intervene
And make one present.

Keep calm and wait
For my hands to run down your back,
Through nooks and crannies.

Feel your breaths,
The breeze,
The side eyes of the celestials,
I want gravity to no longer exist.
I want existence
To be a mere presence
In our everlasting ceremony.

I want God to remember us by name,
Just like Adam and Eve—
Sinners from birth.
But right now,
It doesn’t matter.
Nothing matters
But the look in your eyes.

The sweat that
falls on my chest,
The lip bites,
All those little things
Im able to notice
Under the supervision
Of the night.

The way your lips
Impatiently wait for mine.
The moon shine glaring on your face,
Caressing your hair.
Every little light it sheds
Paints me a picture of how beautiful you are.

Oh, how beautiful you are...

On a cold Thursday morning,
I sit outside, bundled up
in layers upon layers,
battling the weather.

Forty degrees is a heavy burden
for a man raised under an island sun,
beside hibiscus and ixoras.

It eats at my hands,
and feathers my nose.

What a blessing
to feel,
to be alive.

Oh, but what a curse.

Y no estoy
diciendo
que las cosas
van a
Ir mal
entre
nosotros,
pero si
algo llegara
a pasar
me encantaria
estar para
verte crecer.

que seran de tus ojos,
Ojos que insitan a pecar,

Color madera en medio
Del bosque,

Los escuchare caer
Hasta en mis sueños,

Que pena me dio,
Ver inundaciones

Y terremotos,
Huracanes

Y tormentas
Sin nombre,

El silencio
Despues es aterrador,

Me intento esconder
Debajo de sabanas

Despues de haber
Cerrado cortinas.

Arropado en un
Mar de tela,

Me ire desasiendo
De ti

Y te sudare
Como una fiebre,

Ya que es tarde,
Y a pasado tiempo,

Tiempo en el que
Ya no te tengo,

Perdido
Y desorientado,

Me ahogo
Mientras duermo,

Asi que mardito,
Vagare las noches,

trabajare de dia,
Y olvidare tu nombre

En arenas blancas
Bajo una noche estrellada.

Me compre una
Cafetera de estufa,
Prendo y caliento,
Y me siento a
Esperar la chilllaera,
El olor corrumpe
Las cortinas y las
Toallas, abre neveras,
Y limpia migajas de
Pan en la mesa,
Pesado en las arrugas
Nuevas que crean
Valles en mi frente,
Mientras el color de tus ojos
Da vueltas en mi mente,
Invirtiendo en las noches
Donde te tuve en mis brazos,
Atadados entre sabanas,
Y tu , Arbol de ceiba que anclo
Sus raices en mis venas,
Las dejare correr y drenar
Hasta la ultima gota de sangre,
El vapor sube, yo subo con el,
Y me siento en la humedad
De las nubes, peleando con la
Culpa y rayos de sol.

Aveces me siento
A pensarte,
Y me da con mirar
Las cosas que as
Escrito,
Angustiado
Por la Noche,
Y las ganas
De no poder
Dormir me arropan
Otra vez,
Pero tus palabras
Me traen salvacion
En una Noche
Sin Estrellas,
Cerca del agua,
Tan lejos
Pero tan cerca
De ti mi amor,
Tal vez
As dejado
Un vacio
En este
Vagabundo
Sin futuro
Que tanto amastes,
Y que pena
Que me a tomado
Tanto tiempo
Con la nevera
Vacia para darme
Cuenta que tus
Besos eran la razon
Por la que vivia,
Y ahora muero
De hambre.

I'm waiting,
For the sky
To open up
And drop
You at my feet.

Dressed up
In high
Waisted pants
And a bouquet
Of flowers
I hope you
Would like,

When I see
You, tumbling
And shaking
Your fall,

It'll sound like
Whistles of
A happy man
Going on
His day,

It'll show
In the way I
Tap my feet
And fiddle my
Fingers,

My eyes will
Drop your gaze
And my hands will
Tremble along
The tune,

And I'll write
Your name
Upon pages
Of a watered
Down book,

Filled with sentences
And stanzas
That have lost
Their muse,

Sentences filled
With crazy and
Passion, illusions
Of cursed letters,

That attached
Themselves
Upon my skin
Making me a
Slave of
my words.

It's late
Into Halloween
Night,
I'm driving
Down bagby
Street looking
For a place to
Sit and think,
Uncomfortable
In my own skin
I try to zip
Up a tab
Of lsd,

Suddenly
I'm rolling down
The stairs
Down to
To the bayou,
I put my knees
Up to my chest
And wrap my
Arms around my
Legs as a quilt of
Ashes cover
My feet,
So tired but I
Can't sleep.

I see
The blue
Lights of the
Light post reflecting
Against ***** water,
The bayou rising,
Consequences of
A storm
Not present,
The fish splashing
And the people
Walking and running
And biking,
Life is in the
Unexpected,
But there's always
Something to expect
From a man with no
Destiny.

what a shame
There's no stars
In the sky tonight,
Or a pretty lady
With nice legs
To enjoy the
cold front with,
And I wish I could
Throw my skeleton
Into the water,
Watch it sink and
Squirm underneath
The pressure,

But instead I go
Up the multitude
Of stairs,
Observe the people
Dressed in costumes
Taking memories,
Just to drive
Back home
Under the shade
Of tall buildings
And start all
Over again.

I sit in my car waiting
For the money from that
Quick cash job
I just did
To hit my account,

So I can go inside
And get myself
Something to drink,

Fire trucks fill the
Roads under the
Glare of an afternoon
Moon,

God, what a weird
Position I’ve
put myself in.

It felt like my time was coming,
I’m not afraid of what’s to come,

I’ll keep writing odes to love,
And life in sorrow,

I’m fading inward, starting from my fingertips,
So the moon has invited herself

To stay a little longer,
She weeps rain as tomorrow

Arrives with a picnic basket,
Heavy with what once was,

The morning sun sits in a corner,
Just ready to shine once more,

And what a beautiful morning
I have bought with breaths and sighs,

60 degrees haven’t felt this good,
It surfs upon the wind,

Carrying a boombox that
Plays melancholy,

It reaches my ears to remind
Me of the pain,

But thank god for beautiful
Mornings, and the clicking of time.

And pocket change.

She has a swing
To her hips,
But she stands
Proud with
Her shoulders
High, full of
Pride and knots
That I didn’t put
The time to
Take away,

A risk taker,
She jumps
Out of airplanes
And helicopters
Now, she loved
The kind of love
That stays with
You, because
You have never
Been loved like
This before,

And she stayed,
The morning
After.

I know very
Well that
I haven’t been
The greatest
At love,

I haven’t chased
Grand gestures or vows,
But stumbled through
The mornings after,
The movie dinners,
The silences
Between us
Where love sits,
Waiting to be noticed,
Not a princess in a tower
Waiting to be saved,
But just two people,
Trying to stay close
Despite the gaps.

I don’t know if
I’ve loved the
Imperfections,
I’ve loved despite
Them,
The realization hits
Like a slasher movie,
Too late at night,
And too young
And unsupervised,

Sometimes I leave
Notes hidden in
Vases, behind cabinets,
Above the fridge,
And in the pockets
Of the new jeans
That I just got,
As a reminder to love,

Today I found one
In my glove compartment,
It’s getting cooler so
I rolled down the windows
And felt the breeze
Every time there was a red light,
I had the music loud,
Enjoying the mess of genres
That’s my Spotify playlist,
And I savored the moment,
In solitude, learning to love,
Not despite, but because of.