Y no estoy
diciendo
que las cosas
van a
Ir mal
entre
nosotros,
pero si
algo llegara
a pasar
me encantaria
estar para
verte crecer.

que seran de tus ojos,
Ojos que insitan a pecar,

Color madera en medio
Del bosque,

Los escuchare caer
Hasta en mis sueños,

Que pena me dio,
Ver inundaciones

Y terremotos,
Huracanes

Y tormentas
Sin nombre,

El silencio
Despues es aterrador,

Me intento esconder
Debajo de sabanas

Despues de haber
Cerrado cortinas.

Arropado en un
Mar de tela,

Me ire desasiendo
De ti

Y te sudare
Como una fiebre,

Ya que es tarde,
Y a pasado tiempo,

Tiempo en el que
Ya no te tengo,

Perdido
Y desorientado,

Me ahogo
Mientras duermo,

Asi que mardito,
Vagare las noches,

trabajare de dia,
Y olvidare tu nombre

En arenas blancas
Bajo una noche estrellada.

Me compre una
Cafetera de estufa,
Prendo y caliento,
Y me siento a
Esperar la chilllaera,
El olor corrumpe
Las cortinas y las
Toallas, abre neveras,
Y limpia migajas de
Pan en la mesa,
Pesado en las arrugas
Nuevas que crean
Valles en mi frente,
Mientras el color de tus ojos
Da vueltas en mi mente,
Invirtiendo en las noches
Donde te tuve en mis brazos,
Atadados entre sabanas,
Y tu , Arbol de ceiba que anclo
Sus raices en mis venas,
Las dejare correr y drenar
Hasta la ultima gota de sangre,
El vapor sube, yo subo con el,
Y me siento en la humedad
De las nubes, peleando con la
Culpa y rayos de sol.

Aveces me siento
A pensarte,
Y me da con mirar
Las cosas que as
Escrito,
Angustiado
Por la Noche,
Y las ganas
De no poder
Dormir me arropan
Otra vez,
Pero tus palabras
Me traen salvacion
En una Noche
Sin Estrellas,
Cerca del agua,
Tan lejos
Pero tan cerca
De ti mi amor,
Tal vez
As dejado
Un vacio
En este
Vagabundo
Sin futuro
Que tanto amastes,
Y que pena
Que me a tomado
Tanto tiempo
Con la nevera
Vacia para darme
Cuenta que tus
Besos eran la razon
Por la que vivia,
Y ahora muero
De hambre.

I'm waiting,
For the sky
To open up
And drop
You at my feet.

Dressed up
In high
Waisted pants
And a bouquet
Of flowers
I hope you
Would like,

When I see
You, tumbling
And shaking
Your fall,

It'll sound like
Whistles of
A happy man
Going on
His day,

It'll show
In the way I
Tap my feet
And fiddle my
Fingers,

My eyes will
Drop your gaze
And my hands will
Tremble along
The tune,

And I'll write
Your name
Upon pages
Of a watered
Down book,

Filled with sentences
And stanzas
That have lost
Their muse,

Sentences filled
With crazy and
Passion, illusions
Of cursed letters,

That attached
Themselves
Upon my skin
Making me a
Slave of
my words.

It's late
Into Halloween
Night,
I'm driving
Down bagby
Street looking
For a place to
Sit and think,
Uncomfortable
In my own skin
I try to zip
Up a tab
Of lsd,

Suddenly
I'm rolling down
The stairs
Down to
To the bayou,
I put my knees
Up to my chest
And wrap my
Arms around my
Legs as a quilt of
Ashes cover
My feet,
So tired but I
Can't sleep.

I see
The blue
Lights of the
Light post reflecting
Against ***** water,
The bayou rising,
Consequences of
A storm
Not present,
The fish splashing
And the people
Walking and running
And biking,
Life is in the
Unexpected,
But there's always
Something to expect
From a man with no
Destiny.

what a shame
There's no stars
In the sky tonight,
Or a pretty lady
With nice legs
To enjoy the
cold front with,
And I wish I could
Throw my skeleton
Into the water,
Watch it sink and
Squirm underneath
The pressure,

But instead I go
Up the multitude
Of stairs,
Observe the people
Dressed in costumes
Taking memories,
Just to drive
Back home
Under the shade
Of tall buildings
And start all
Over again.

I sit in my car waiting
For the money from that
Quick cash job
I just did
To hit my account,

So I can go inside
And get myself
Something to drink,

Fire trucks fill the
Roads under the
Glare of an afternoon
Moon,

God, what a weird
Position I’ve
put myself in.

It felt like my time was coming,
I’m not afraid of what’s to come,

I’ll keep writing odes to love,
And life in sorrow,

I’m fading inward, starting from my fingertips,
So the moon has invited herself

To stay a little longer,
She weeps rain as tomorrow

Arrives with a picnic basket,
Heavy with what once was,

The morning sun sits in a corner,
Just ready to shine once more,

And what a beautiful morning
I have bought with breaths and sighs,

60 degrees haven’t felt this good,
It surfs upon the wind,

Carrying a boombox that
Plays melancholy,

It reaches my ears to remind
Me of the pain,

But thank god for beautiful
Mornings, and the clicking of time.

And pocket change.

She has a swing
To her hips,
But she stands
Proud with
Her shoulders
High, full of
Pride and knots
That I didn’t put
The time to
Take away,

A risk taker,
She jumps
Out of airplanes
And helicopters
Now, she loved
The kind of love
That stays with
You, because
You have never
Been loved like
This before,

And she stayed,
The morning
After.

I know very
Well that
I haven’t been
The greatest
At love,

I haven’t chased
Grand gestures or vows,
But stumbled through
The mornings after,
The movie dinners,
The silences
Between us
Where love sits,
Waiting to be noticed,
Not a princess in a tower
Waiting to be saved,
But just two people,
Trying to stay close
Despite the gaps.

I don’t know if
I’ve loved the
Imperfections,
I’ve loved despite
Them,
The realization hits
Like a slasher movie,
Too late at night,
And too young
And unsupervised,

Sometimes I leave
Notes hidden in
Vases, behind cabinets,
Above the fridge,
And in the pockets
Of the new jeans
That I just got,
As a reminder to love,

Today I found one
In my glove compartment,
It’s getting cooler so
I rolled down the windows
And felt the breeze
Every time there was a red light,
I had the music loud,
Enjoying the mess of genres
That’s my Spotify playlist,
And I savored the moment,
In solitude, learning to love,
Not despite, but because of.

The sound of your voice
Enters through my veins,

It runs havoc as I listen to
You speak how your day went,

Chained by the tremble
In between words

and the way your lips
Would taste like honey,

I try to concentrate but my
Eyes set me loose

As I trace the moles around
Your body,

Constellation of fallen stars
Adorn you from head to toe,

I connect them with stellar
Imagination and wonder,

Which one would I plant
A kiss on first,

Then second,
Then third,

I would spend many days,
And maybe months,

Traveling the wild waters
Of your curves,

On a sail boat,
I hope for a tragedy,

For the wind to get too
Rowdy and tip me over,

So I can swim on the corners
Of your hips,

And drown on the shores
Down your legs

I woke up
On the right
Side of the bed
Today,

I took arms
The day before
And fought a
War,

That waited
And waited
For me, for
The right moment

To present itself
Upon my door,
And the sky
Looking

The perfect shade
Of baby blue,
A war wagered,
On blood and bones,

And love
and emptiness,
Oh, to win
Again,

On my terms,
And then feel
The breeze upon
My face.

Of course you’ll
miss them,
And songs
will remind you
Of them,
and the color  of
A strangers eyes,
and the pattern
The shadows
create while
You are on shrooms,
You were happy once,
Under incoming fire
And quarantine, in
The sky or on boat,
Undressed, and that’s
Not a pretty sight,
But they loved it,
They loved you,
And that’s not
Easy to forget.

I call my grandma
Mama Myriam,

She’s my dads mom,
So I didn’t spend

Much time with her
Growing up

That doesn’t matter
To her when I call,

She talks as if she
Loves unconditionally,

So difficult to understand,
But the time goes on.

And she tell stories,
Not the ones in books

But the ones that make
Her scars ache,

And I listen,
Attentive,  

Patient,
Quiet,

As the city outside
Rumbles the windows,

And my furniture
Decays where it stands,

She tells her stories,
With a cat on her lap,

You can almost hear
The purrs through

The phone,
And what stories she tells,

About love, and life,
And betrayal, and abuse,

What a life she has lived,
She thanks me for listening,

With an “I love you”
As I ready up to hang up,

No, Mamá,
Thank you.

I walked
The exhibitions
Of the zoo
With someone
I hurt,
I didn’t
Feel there
All the way,
I hid in the
Aquarium
And the bug
house,
Since it
Was a hot
Summer day,
Lost and
confused,
I watched
the glitter
Fall off
The look
In her eyes,
Turning into
Flint that
sparked
A fired
burning
All the love
She had
For me.

God, my heart has carved
A hole open in my chest,
Learned to walk and
Started running away
From me.

What will I do now,
That he’s not here
To guide me through,
Oh, lantern in the night,
Why have you escaped,
When we both know
It was my idea,

The ground that I stand
On now feels misplaced
And out of shape, wobbly
Like a bouncy castle with
The top open so you can
Observe the top of the trees,
And the skyline and the stars,
Play catch with the moon.

But I’m not a kid anymore,
And every time the drop
Fills the cavity left open
With fear that the ground
Will some how change back.

Sometimes life feels  
like a train station,  
some depart wearing  
suits and ties,  
with heavy leather  
bags dangling  
from their hips  
as if to show the  
world how strong  
their legs are.

Others arrive
with their heart  
bleeding from  
their sleeves,  
with PTSD  
and memories of  
ruins of war  
that change their  
perspective as  
they drag their feet  
on shiny marble  
tiles that got  
polished the  
night before,  
so they glide  
through their way  
home.

I’ve departed before,
I’ve felt the  
cocoon inside  
my stomach  
hatch into butterflies,  
as the tip  
of my fingers felt  
the inside  
of a train that no  
longer will  
arrive to this station.

Since I’ve
been back,  
the sky  
hasn’t been  
the same shade  
of blue,  
or the stars haven’t  
flickered the  
same Morse code,  
but “I’ve won”  
I say to myself,  
not by chasing the train,
but by letting it pass,
by finding calm
in the station,
and in the realization
that my journey
is where I stand amongst  
the multitude of people,  
a sea of  
distinguishable universes,  
each with their destination,  
succumbed by life and its mysteries.

I’m glad,
for them, for all of us.

Oh my love,
I’ve buried
My worries
In the sand
Of your shores,
Even if the
Raging waters
Dig deep
To find them
And give them
The same
Warmth
That I miss
When laying
Cuddled up
In the coconut palms
Of your hands,
I could feel
The fire,

Oh, beautiful deity
Of a seasons past
Where all year
Was spring,
I’ve grown so
Scared of love,
So malnourished,
You could almost
See the mountain
Range on my chest,
And I’ve only grown
Hungry for the look
In your eyes and
The sound of your
Voice when speaking
My name.

I’ve been
caught
In a long
forgotten
Snare,
its claws
Deep
into my
My flesh
scratching
And itch
in my
Bones
I haven’t
Been
able
to reach,
As I
sit and
Contemplate
Death,
the leafs
Of an
old tree
Slowly
catch
A ride
upon
The
wind,
And
touch
The
soil
In front
of
My feet
with
Nurture
and love,
Making
me
a bed
To
lay on.

Someone
Said,
No one
Baths in
The same
River twice,
Because
When you
Come back,
New water
Will be
Flowing,
But it’s
More
Complicated
Than that
When it
Comes to
Those you
Love,
People are more
Like the soil
Underneath,
That erodes
Over time,
With so much
Life to give,
And so
Much growth.

I stand here wrapped in
the dark of morning
the firefly lights
Bounce color into my retina,
Twisting and turning
The dark shade
of green of the trees
Around me.

And, as the shadows
of morning lightens up,
Buildings color
my peripherals,
Success and failures
of other people
Stand high and low.

A jungle of Melodies,
That intertwine
with what I’m feeling,
Spider webs left
behind gloom over,
Empty, empty and Sad.

I can’t seem to get out,
Thoughts that follow
me everywhere I go
Are starting
to come out,
like cobwebs of
a spider who
lost his way
Vacant for the
next person to fill,
I run and I trip
And I get up
When I just
want to lay down.

I miss the moments
in my life
Where it felt
so obvious,
Like I’ve lived
this before,
So easy as if
it was pumping
Through my veins,
Just like walking,
Just like running,
Just like breathing.

I don’t know
what I want
In 5 years,
Or what I
Want for
Next year,
In 5 years I’ll
Be 29,
So close to 30
I don’t know if
I want to make it
To 30,
But if I do I just wish
For me to be happy.

Once again,
I dance alone
In those lost
Gardens you
And me used
To take care of,
Now it’s
Overgrown,
Hidden behind
A vine wall
That hides the
undisturbed
Beauty
and purity
And sweet
scents,
At night
the flowers
Light up,
the stars
Walk among
me to show
Me the way,
I’ve been
Walking
So long
Through  
Rose bushes,
The thorns have
Embedded
Themselves
Into my skin
Up to my hips,
I hope the
Day comes
They become
Roots, my arms
Branches of a
Shrub I won’t
Be able to name
Anymore,
While I wait
For rain,
For now I’ll
Just walk,
And walk
And walk
And walk,
While my blood
Feed the ones
That have lost
Their battle
Against time.

For as long as I can remember
I’ve been looking for love,

With a heart full of stitches
And duct tape to hold it together,

Trust me, I’ve been looking everywhere,
Above the ***** dishes and below

Undone laundry, behind the litter box,
And besides the stack of books

That keeps growing every first
Paycheck of the month

Since the second one falls
Victim to responsibilities,

I’ve tried the mirror, I trace
The moles around my face,

And ******* own mouth
As I fog the reflection

And think on who I was
Before time was time,

While I walk back to my bed,
And the pillows that already

Need changing, I lay, like
I’ve laid before and prepare

To go to sleep below the sky
And above the ground.

We got
Sunflowers at
Work today,
This is
The first
I've seen
Them on
Those brown
Metal grated
Tables, they
Reminded me
Of my mom,
They used
To be her
Favorite flower,
Every time
I call she
Sounds
Okay'ish,
She hasn't
Been on

Her medication
For years now,
It's hard to
Pin point
Her exact
Location,
I've been
Thinking
I need
Medication
Too, and
If they
Were to
Ask her
To place me
On a map,
Would she
Be able to,

Or anyone
For that
Matter,
I could
Be painting
Elk on
The walls
Of a cave ,
Or dipping
My feet
In the
Vastness
Of my
Soul,
I could
Be falling
In love
Again,
All I know
Is that
I need
To find
Myself
Soon.

I’m laying
Down on
A mount
Of Asian
Jasmines,
Then suddenly,
I was floating
in space,
But somehow,
In some way,
My lungs inflated,
And I exhaled
What I had
Left of life
Into the stars,
The cosmos
Held me
In their arms,
An embrace
Very needed
Yesterday’s ago,
I sink deep
Into the feeling
Of being loved,
And I cry
My soul
Out back
Into the living,
My bones
Root into
Empty space,
A never ending
Search for soil,
So lost,
In search,
Always in search,
this just
Doesn’t seem
Like a place
To rest.

Do you
look up
From your
work as much
As I do
when I
just need
To get another
look at you,
It’s a straight
rush of dopamine
To be able to
Place my eyes
Upon your
Curves that
Like hibiscus
Flowers
Let butterflies
Rest upon
The petals that
Droop down
After a day
Of rain.

I’m lost in the ever changing,
A cycle of life that everyone
Seems to go through eventually,

I stopped at the tracks too early,
And have been shown the harsh
Reality just before the curtains closes,

I’m left in the dark,
With too much time to think,
With too much life to live,

It has been so long the shadows
Are starting to move in between
The non existent and below my feet,

Leaving paper trails of horrid things,
Love poems, books written by people
Who share a sentiment, and cigarette buds

That change with how much money
I have in my pockets, I wish they
Would start a conversation,

Scare me off my chair and linger
Too long upon my shoulders,
I’m in dire need of a friend,

Maybe a foe, a reason to keep
Going, to claw myself out
And find myself sunbathing

Across blue skies, sky gaze at
The stars that were once gods,
Enjoy a sip of whatever is available,

Because it doesn’t matter,
It never has mattered.

I’ve been
caught
in the rain,
near a field
of Indian
blankets
that runs by
a river caused
by the
precipitation,
the moon
drowns
underneath
the currents,
I can hear
her bubbled
screams as
the water
sweeps
the ground
with
an anger
of a
thousand
and the
attitude of
a tired mother
that just
got back
home to
see the
dishes
haven’t
been done,
and the
chicken
hasn’t
been
brought
down
from
the freezer,
so Tired
of the
baggy
eyes,
I’m
thinking
I should
jump,
and
help out
for once.

There’s a cat
and a heron
Sitting
by a creek,
They know of
Each other
But not close
Enough to
Actually know
Each other,
The cat observes
The heron
With eyes
Of a killer,
He then walks
Away as the tall
Grass is
being swayed
By the wind,
Maybe home,
The people on
The street also
Walk home as
The lonely night
Comes over,
And all the wisps
Of light come out
From hiding,
I share a feeling
With the night,
As I sit and observe
In a new skin
I’ve started to
Get used to,
I should
Go home too.

On a day
Like today
The stars
Aligned in a
Strange way,
They still shine
Bright against
The unreachable
Ceiling and
The seas
Hug their
Reflection tight
Against her
Skin, it accentuates
Her curves
That dances
Off the coast
Of the Caribbean
Islands or maybe
It washes away
The shores of
A clear beach
In Greece,
As the world
Still rotates
Around the pale
Yellow sun,
I lay neck
Deep
In a puddle
Of water,
I feel the
Rotation
Of the earth,
Or maybe
It’s vertigo.

It’s 1 am,
My friend in the
Front seat rolls
Another blunt
As the light
Post that are
Starting to
get warm
Cast a shadow
Of the old
Jeep wrangler
That we ride in
Going nowhere,
We take a right,
And then a left,
I sit in the back,
With a light mentol
American spirit
Perching upon
My lips,
Im lost in a train
Of thought,
You can almost
See the steam
Oozing from
My head.

Suddenly
the lights
turn
back on,

After 3
screeches
from the
transformer,

And a week
of sleeping
on the leather
couch

And the
tile floors
when it
got too hot,

A sense
of relief
rushes
through me,

The ac turns
back on
and I turn
the kitchen
lamps on,

It feels alive,
it breaths
through
the walls,

And exhales
through
the old vents.

I’m sorry
It’s inevitable,
It disappoints
And discourages,
It runs its course
Upon watered
Eyes and calluses
On the palms
Of your hands,
Despite all
Of that,
There’s dishes
To be made,
And cat litter
To be cleaned,
And people
To meet,
And storms
To prepare for,
And there will
Be someone to
Love,
Don’t let it
Get to you,
Despite.

As the run away
Clouds of a named
Storm hits the city,
I sit underneath
Metal panels besides

Resting cars that
Sleep until it’s their
Turn to move again,
The water drainage
Always seems to be

Covered by leafs
Or some type of trash,
Creating a lake of
Rain water, not deep
Enough to drown

But deep enough for
It to grab onto
My ankles while
Drops disturb the
Calmness as the

Wind whistles through
The branches of tall
Trees that fill up the
Borders of the parking lot,
I light my second cigarette

As the water level rises,
And wonder and wonder
About doors and windows,
The ones that closed and
The ones that will open,

If I should climb to a second
Story given the chance,
Would I even get the option,
Happiness is around the corner,
And I remember I don’t know
How to climb,

So I’ll sit in a half full
Parking lot, and rest
For a little while longer
While I light a third
To those who have loved.

The moon shines
bright tonight,
My hand extended
Closing in on
the ropes of light
That tie it down,
To be set in space
and time.

As I manage
to get a hold,
I pull and pull
with my back,
The seas tremble,
The ground laments,

What can I do?
But fall into desperation.

What can I say?
When there’s nothing to be said.

I fall back,
As my lower back aches
Like an old man’s
fishing at sea,
To show me
How heavy the moon
Really is.

Unattainable.

I’ve stopped dreaming
Of bringing down
The moon to your feet
I’ve also forgotten how silence
Sounds with you.

I crouch upon
myself,
Trying
to be
As small
as I can

Just so I
can hide
From
everyone
And
everything,

I crumble
into
A paper crane,
I move
my wings

Up and
Down
And up
And down,
But I can’t
seem to fly,

So I let
myself fall
Into silence,
A void I can’t
Seem to fill,

A rain
Forrest
Full
of beautiful
Things
and ceiba
Trees,

i sit
Underneath
Dripping
Branches
As i disintegrate
Back into the earth.

They talk
In the name
Of god
And Jesus,
They walk
The walk
And wear
Their suits,
I don’t
Believe
Their pretty
Words,
Or their
Gospel,
I try to
Stay away
From
All that,
But if evil
Does roam
Around,
It’s them.

I come in
Into the office
And let the
Lady know
I’m here for
And interview,
With broken
English she
Tells me to
Wait in the
Waiting room
Since I’m early,
So I sit in
the middle
Of a room
Of People
I’ve never
met,
Some of them
Probably
More anxious
As I've been
Before,
There’s a
Mural of
A bull
With horns
Like the devil
On the wall,
And I sit
And wait,
Until my
Nervous
System
kicks in,
And my
Legs
Start to
Twitch,
What an
Eternal
Wait.

I was loved
For some time,

It was beautiful,
In between

Sunrise and
Sunset,

Alongside
Cats and candles,

While listening
To the best of

Chuck mangione
On a suit case

Record player,
That I haven’t

Touched since
I was loved,

Now I wonder
If I am deserving,

If life really open
Doors after one closes,

I’ll lay outside,
Back against the lawn,

I’ll **** on the dew
Of a freshly rained tree,

I’ll snack on the mushrooms,
And chew on sticks,

I’ll be fine,
Since I was loved.