How heavy it is
that I seem to find
you in the eyes
of those I love now.

So inconsiderate,
wretched ghost,
poltergeist,
specter that haunts
my every sleep.

Following me
into every store,
every car,
every plane,
and boat.

How could
I ever live
without you,
when it’s you
that haunts
me?

I’ve met a beautiful woman,
her face native to a land
that’s not mine
but I would still recognize it.

There’s no second thought about it:
she’s native by blood,
by eyes,
by cheekbones,
by the warmth in her skin,

a warmth that transcends
her shirt, my shirt,
my skin,
finding its way toward my soul.

Lightning strikes twice
campfires and oven mitts.

What a disrespectful way
to love someone,
but I wouldn’t wait
to love her.

I think I should
disappear
for a little while,

hide beneath rocks,
sleep on park benches,
let the world forget me.

I’m throwing all
my effort
into nothingness

it offers no response,
no echo,
no hope.

Tired eyes,
a heart in despair,
waiting.

You must
taste me first
to love me

like I’ve been loved.
Oh, how I
need love now.

I wonder how long
consequences
will shadow me,

grappling tight
to the hunch
on my back.

Nothing is deserved,
or do I know
I deserve better?

When will a
hungry man
find rest enough

to stand,
to provide,
to believe,
to want?

Jesus, why am i like this?
Why does nostalgia run
Through my veins like
It should be there,
If the feeling leaves,
I would probably miss
It too.

Back home,
lying down after a nightly walk,
the sky transforms,
a ceiling lit with holiday fireworks,
a web of little light bulbs
that flicker into shapes,
I see a a kite, and a smaller kite,
things unseen in the dim of the city.

Yet, I still feel lonely,
in the city,
Or in the corner streets I once knew.
I rise and walk
towards a home I once called home.

Each step, heavy with melancholy,
Some share the rythm.
Hands buried in my pockets,
holding on tightly,
somehow,
to my heart.