these walls are rotting
and the shelves are empty,
i can't keep up with the dusting.
the rooftop is caving in
and the windows are shattered,
faded colored glass scattered across the
creaky, splintered floorboards.
the candle wicks won't light
and the electricity is out,
the heat is broken & the a.c. is down.
the stove won't boil my tea
and the oven won't bake my cakes,
the skeleton keys are either lost
or the doors no longer allow them
to unlock them.
the garden is overgrown
and the ivy has overcome these bones,
the flowers have been trampled by passersby
and the weeds have taken over.
i cannot upkeep these walls
& i cannot keep up with these
lonely nights
(the days and nights fuse together)
i am packing my bags
& removing the sheet.
i am moving out
& into a new place,
a home and not a haunted house.
i will no longer watch you
as you love & live without me
& i am taking up space,
spreading my arms out beside myself
as i jump, dance, & twirl
until i become too dizzy & fall to the ground . . .
& finding who i am now,
no matter where
no matter why
now matter how . . .