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113 · Mar 2022
bounced
DElizabeth Mar 2022
she called you
until she couldn't
stand it anymore.

you ignored her
until she no longer cared.

lowest of lows
you taught her
to live without you.
without your touch.
without your love.
without your hand to help her..

she remembered those
promises you made to her..
every one of them broken.
she remembered
the one where you'd
always be there to help her back up
when she felt she was falling..

she remembered
as a tear came
silently slipping
down her cheek.


you came back,
and you made love to her.

making her feel
momentarily
special.

repressing all the times
she needed you most,
when you left her
and chose everyone else
and yourself
over and over and over
again.

you were always the one she chose.
even after all she went through
just to be with you,
you can't tell her
you no longer want her.
as she blindly no longer knows what she's fighting for...

she never thought she'd have to try this hard
to earn someone's love...attention...affection...
that was once so freely and unconditionally given...


...you came back,
and you made love to her.

reassuring her you
would never leave her
the way she feared.

only to abandon her
once again.
112 · Aug 2022
perchance
DElizabeth Aug 2022
the divine thrill of your touch

if only you knew

or do you?

**did

the angelic sensation of mine

skin to skin

a channel for soul to soul

our hearts beat in time, they always have

everyone before you beat out of time

your hair sparkling with raindrops

the electric moment of anticipation and wonder

the warm may rain between our lips

the fluffy clump of flakes resting atop your brow

our fingertips pink as they intertwine

our breath, visible clouds wandering into the endless winter sky

leaves

orange, gold, crimson, rust

f
a
l
l
i
n
g

surrounding us like the rain and the snow

we fell

for each other

embracing while everything falls around us

until everything fell apart

including you and i.

searching for a foreshadow

perchance we'll get to meet again

once more and for good

perchance to meet

perchance to stay

perchance to give

perchance to love
112 · Nov 2021
kidding
DElizabeth Nov 2021
y o u
always said
my best will
a l w a y s
be enough...

y o u
said
my best was
no longer
enough..

my best right now
will not be my best
forever..
and
i thought you
saw that..
112 · May 2021
I Can't Make You Want To
DElizabeth May 2021
All of these things
you want to say
I want to hear you say
and you never say them.
112 · Nov 2021
even if you don't mean it
DElizabeth Nov 2021
everyone tells you to
leave..

everyone tells you to
walk away..

everyone tells you to
run..

so leave..

leave me behind
only to stay where you are..

i wasn't meant to be loveable
anyway..
112 · Sep 2023
every shooting star
DElizabeth Sep 2023
watching as your car gets smaller as you drive away

it all goes blurry
as tears turn my eyes
into caleidescopes

you're the first and last thought of all my days

i'm not sure why i keep hoping you'll call me

or why i keep hoping one day you'd be standing there next to my car waiting with a hug & a kiss & an "i take it all back"...

i hope one day i'll get to be as lucky as the monarch that landed on your soft brown hair that day

or the freshly painted poles that stained your hand yellow

i would spend
all my pennies,
every shooting star,
every 11:11,
every dandelion,
all my birthday cake candle wishes
on you, darling

nothing makes a room feel emptier than wishing you were in it.
(or knowing you're not in it.)

i just want to be there
to hold you
to tell you it's all going to be alright
to kiss you in the rain
& be there through the dark & light.

i drive past your apartment
aching to just drop by,
stop to say hi,
bake a strawberry cake,
watch our favorite movies,
ask questions about life,
& kiss you in the dark until
the sun comes up.

pancakes for dinner
wouldn't be the same without you.

late night city drives wondering if you wish for these things too.

and all i do is spend
all my pennies,
every shooting star,
every 11:11,
every dandelion,
all my birthday cake candle wishes
on the hope that one day we'll do everything we said we would...

one day near, one day far

one day later, one day soon...
112 · Feb 2022
vicious cycle
DElizabeth Feb 2022
i don't hate anything.

but i hate this.

i hate it when it consumes me and when i give it the power to take over my mind and break my own heart..

i hate when i can't pull myself out of drowning in it..

i hate it when i forget..

i hate it when i forget who i am and how strong and sensitive i am..

i hate it when i forget and hurt you instead of love you..

i hate that i think that telling you would have made you understand so you could help me when it pulls me under.. suffocating me.. suffocating you..

and every single time this happens..
all i think about is
e v e r y t h i n g . . .

memories of warmer skies

feeling distant with each breath i take..

the deep conversations we've held between your baby blue eyes and my wide chocolate ones..

the way neither of us have to say a word to know what the other was thinking or feeling..

the warmth of your skin accidentally grazing against mine..

asking if i would ever get to trace the tips of my fingers gently along the constellation of your scars, healing the hurt of your past as i go..

never fully realizing until after just how much damage i, myself am inflicting..

memorizing the sound of your voice because i feel as if i would never hear it again..

asking if i would ever feel the beating of your heart pounding out of your chest as we slowly bring our lips together..

studying the lines of your face because it feels like an impossibility to ever be so close to you again..

wondering if i will ever feel protected by you or if i will ever get to protect you, knowing it's impossible when i'm the one thing hurting you..

remembering the soft drifting snowflakes i gently brushed from your brow..

or the first time we embraced beneath the warm May spring rain..

replaying every thoughtful and adoring thing we've ever said..

the friendly smiles shared and laughs from goofy things only we'd understand..

wondering if i would ever feel brave enough to sign "i love you" from across the room to you..

always hoping but never fully believing that, each time, after what i do.. you would ever... ever want to see me again..
112 · Jun 2022
time, reckless
DElizabeth Jun 2022
not a day that went by
did the lull become dull.

every waking moment that passed,
only deepened the ache
that roared within
these weary bones.

every atom
every cell
every heart beat
every inhale
every exhale
and with every fiber
of my being,
do i still want you.

i wanted you then
i want you now

will you want me too?

every moment
every memory
every glance
every touch

you live inside of me now,
from the moment our
souls collided
like the inevitability
of the thrashing navy waves
crashing upon the rocks at shore.

"i had all
and then most of you,
some, and now none of you..."


i find you in the gold sunrises,
i find you in the pink sunsets.

i find you in the california poppies,
and among the ripe sweet figs.

i find you between the branches and rained-on leaves,
park benches and hearts on sleeves.

i find you in the supermarket flowers,
i find you in the browning pages between my fingers . . .

mostly, i find you in the words.
the words between the soft melodies
and heavy harmonies . . .

the songs i used to throw myself into
i consciously avoid,
like a wound you are too afraid to rip
the bandage off too soon in case it hasn't
healed fully . . .

yet it's all i feel i have left of you . . .

darling
you never called me by my name

darling . . .
don't leave me,
not now
not ever . . .

the time,
reckless.
abandoning ship
as it uncontrollably
tears through all
sense and space.

the time . . .
the time we lost,
never saved . . .

time we had,
never made . . .

the time we made,
never had . . .

never paused,
never tamed . . .

not reclaimed,
just replayed . . .
112 · Aug 2021
Undisclosed
DElizabeth Aug 2021
How could you protect me
from everything else
if you won't protect me
from yourself?
111 · Sep 2023
A P O L O G Y
DElizabeth Sep 2023
i'm sorry if i seem distant

i'm sorry if i seem different

i'm sorry if i seem like i don't have as much to say like i used to

i'm just trying to give you some space

some space from me, i suppose

if that's what you feel you need.
111 · Feb 14
chocolate
DElizabeth Feb 14
it melts in my pocket as i wave goodbye, hoping you don't notice the blood pooling in my cheeks.
8 missed opportunities.

my grandma boiled some sage tea for me, "to help calm your skin," she'd say if she was still around...

parkour on rocks in indigo fields, heliotrope, and hornets.
vanilla milkshakes and sweet potato fries, if my wallet will allow me to love you this way.

my eyes squint and bones catch the sunlight, i spread out my arms like an iris's petals when you run to me...

i slipped on wet grass over the stream and scored my knee in the shape of a cross.
she plucked some lavender from the damp ground and rubbed it with an absence of gentleness onto my open wound.

there was still dirt on it.

we climbed to the rooftop and watched the hazy summer colors plummet into the endless horizon.
she turned to me with her palms facing the stars and extended a tiny glass bottle.
"sandalwood!" revere filled her voice,
"i prefer lily, but thank you, i love it."

.
111 · Aug 2021
Untitled
DElizabeth Aug 2021
You think you know me.

You think you know exactly how I feel when I'm hurting.

You think you know what I go through every day.

You think you understand the trauma I have to live with.

But how little you know...
I only pretend I believe you when you tell me you care. Because I know you never did.
111 · Jun 2022
afterall
DElizabeth Jun 2022
i tell you not to worry about me,
with a straightened posture and a put-on smile . . .

that i am invincible
just like you . . .

but beneath the facade
i am afraid i might break . . .

moment to moment
until these lungs can breathe once again . . .

do you notice it?
my chocolate brown meeting your baby blue . . .
do you feel it too?

the aches and pains
that echo within the walls of these bones
from too much heartache?

how much of me do you see? . . .

afterall, you were always the only one
who could . . .
111 · Nov 2023
stones to skip
DElizabeth Nov 2023
Silent was the sound of you when i asked what was wrong.
To make it through this week is the greatest goal of all.
Ontario was the lake where i found out i was beautiful.
Never will i ever not feel love for you somewhere in these bones.
Exit signs glow red across the dim empty room.
Stones to skip or stones to build a forever home.

Treacherous is the path we'd have to take to outlast, outrun.
Onward we'd rise, radiate, rectify, resil...

Sadness left me empty, sadness left me whole.
Knowing you're okay is all i could ask for.
Is it too soon to know?
Perfect was the night you came to see me when i missed you most.
110 · Aug 1
the bad dream
DElizabeth Aug 1
the world felt like a bad dream
that would never end.

the sky, a violet so dark
it looked as black as a raven's feathers.

when the air smelled of
smoke, cinnamon & wormy, damp earth.

i went to the store & bought
a cologne that smells just like you.

you pulled me closer when
i thought you were about to let go.

i normally close my eyes,
but with you i have to keep a look-out.

i promise
to keep you safe, i promise...

the feeling of wanting to go home,
bur you're already there.

my stomach turns like the sea,
churning it's foam & shells to the shore.

in the end, the world will always be
a bad dream we can't wake up from...

a bad dream where
we cannot be together.
110 · Aug 2023
yellow rose
DElizabeth Aug 2023
one yellow rose
& a bundle of baby's breath

i shift my gaze from the
browning petals
to your familiar face

& that was the moment i knew
i wanted you
and wanted you to want me too
110 · Jun 2021
We Were Never Strangers
DElizabeth Jun 2021
I know I've been a stranger lately
but love, you still know me better
than all of them do
110 · Jul 2023
k n o w n . l o v e
DElizabeth Jul 2023
.
i haven't known
a "healthy" love,
and when i have
i think that i ruin it.

or maybe i have known it
all along but
only recognize the
"unhealthy" as "normal"

so we push away what's
good for us
in order to stay
not with what feels right...
but with what feels
familiar...

with what's
comfortable,
even if it hurts.

.
110 · Sep 2023
conversation
DElizabeth Sep 2023
tear-stained sleeves & muffled cries

it's so early that it's still night.

"hey, it's going to be okay . . ." you tell me

and i really hope that you are right...
110 · Jul 2021
Growing Pains
DElizabeth Jul 2021
We mature
from damage
not years
110 · Aug 24
a world without
DElizabeth Aug 24
a world without you
is a world without music.
DElizabeth Dec 2021
there are consequences to your (in)(re)actions.
109 · Sep 1
dinner for one
DElizabeth Sep 1
i take a photo of the food i made myself for dinner with quiet pride.

only this time, i don't send it to you.
109 · Aug 2023
summer girl (a lyric)
DElizabeth Aug 2023
the day is young
the night is lonely

my dear, i know it's still too early
but never to know that i want this

"had too many close calls tonight"
but 1 missed call from me

"gave me no compasses
gave me no signs"

is it true?
it's me and you?
can i come out of this blue? . . .

i don't want to be your summer girl
i want to be your forever girl

is this going to be a repeat?
tell me now so i can just back out...

before it's too late,
should have looked for the signs
before i took the bait

"i miss you", i type
but find myself backspacing

heart skipping
mind racing
breath-chasing
legs pacing

i don't want to bother you
i don't want to bore you

i know you're busy
but darling, he was "busy" too . . .

i don't want to be your summer girl
i want to be your forever girl

is this going to be a repeat?
tell me now so i can just back out . . .

before it's too late,
should have looked for the signs
before i took the bait
109 · Jun 2021
Static
DElizabeth Jun 2021
Lost connection.

No signal.

Bad reception.

Cut wires,
sparks flying & fizzling.

Cancelled wedding reception.

I scream into
the woods
for you.

All I hear is static.

Ocean waves thrashing.

Heart monitor crashing.

The moon is silent,
staring at me from
Earth's attic.

Awaiting a response.

Don't know what I expected
anymore...

Would you come for me?

Is there anything left of my heart
you adore?

I will always come back for more.

Just to see you wash up ashore...
108 · Feb 2021
Lived & Learned
DElizabeth Feb 2021
You cannot expect me to
learn
something just by you telling
me what is so.

I need to
live
in order to
learn.

You have experienced things
& you expect me to learn from your mistakes.

I'm afraid I have to make
my own mistakes
In order to learn from
my own mistakes.

I cannot and should not be
prevented
or
"saved"
from my own decisions.

This is not a
rebellion.

This is not a
protest.

This is not an
opportunity for
disobedience.

This is me trying.

This is me transitioning.

This is me   t r y i n g
to grow.

This is me   t r y i n g
to be independent
(don't you want me to be?).

This is me   t r y i n g
to live my intended life.

This is me   t r y i n g
to learn.
Let me learn.
108 · Jan 2022
help
DElizabeth Jan 2022
i threw my alarm clock away this morning.

ambushed from the start.

left with scars i never asked for..

gifted trauma i never wanted..

my anger is my fault.

my pain is my fault.

guilt.

IT'S LOVE!

fallacy.

as if nothing anyone does is hurtful? . .

burns..

scars..

hurts..

worse..

but he couldn't talk me off that ledge..

if i asked you for help, would you . . .

or would you say nothing again . . .

you don't know the half of it,

won't you show you want to?

safety

they "protect" me but they hurt me..

shove me in that corner..

ashamed, i feel..

no one should have to admit.

what is the purpose behind the ache?

i'm looking, but it's never-ending . .

i stand

screaming

crying

waving my arms

jumping up and down . .

my s.o.s. . . .

can you hear me? . .

do you see me? . .

why do you turn the other way? . .

hoping maybe if you ignore me long enough, i'll just go away? . .

maybe soon, maybe far

who'll feel sorry when i do someday? . .
108 · May 2023
up in flames
DElizabeth May 2023
you wanted me
and i had you

we were tangible,
but we were flammable

i was careful,
but not careful enough

our connection,
was like playing with fire

you had it
or you didn't
there was no in between

we were too hot to hold,
now so cold to the touch

hands, where flames once ignited,
now frostbitten fingertips

i thought i knew you, darling
but suddenly we grew

a p a r t . . .
108 · Aug 2023
old habit
DElizabeth Aug 2023
and even after all that we have done

the war is always fought but never won

i swear i thought you were the one

and "old habit"

is this all that i have become?
108 · Feb 21
Untitled
DElizabeth Feb 21
I remember digging my toes into the thick, goopy mud in our overgrown backyard when I was a little girl.

I remember running home from the dirt-dusted bus stop with my siblings, trying to beat the shadows of the clouds cast by the sun.

I remember the hug of the summer air, enveloping me like a second skin.

I remember the fiery pain of the hornet stinger beneath my right foot.

I remember my older brother dunking his slice of watermelon into salt and taking a bite out of it, red sticky juice dripping down his chin and wrist with an absence of grace.

I remember hearing the off-key song of the ice cream truck, faint but within earshot.

I remember my mom waking me up to eat a steaming bowl of brown-sugared oatmeal in the middle of the night, just because.

I remember the thud of his loving heartbeat against the bumpy skin of my warm chest.

I remember jumping as high as possible to yank off the juicy oranges, the size of a softball, from the tree.

I remember her knotted, gray, no-longer-stray fur nuzzling against my faded jeans as if she’s always loved me.

I remember holding his hand, winter-wind-dry, cold, and skinny just moments before breaking up with him.

I remember the soft autumn mist, creating a veil of gray across the football field.

I remember how slippery with sweat my skin was on the suffocating bus ride home in September.

I remember how my dad packed his lunch the same way every day; 7 baby carrots, 2 granola bars, 1 banana, 12 potato chips, 1 bologna and American cheese sandwich with mayonnaise.

I remember his beige Coleman lunch box with the maroon lid, rough and smelled of plastic, too-ripe banana, and “Dad”.

I remember the thin skin beneath my eyes, rubbed raw, flaky, and salt-ruined after countless hours of darkness.

I remember sitting with my stubby girl legs spread out in front of me on the wooden kitchen floor, dipping cinnamon cookies into pink and blue yogurt.

I remember our first kiss, stiff and clumsy, but electric…gentle…and not enough.

I remember the look of loss hidden behind my dad’s smile as we grew smaller in the airport security on Father’s Day.
108 · Jun 2021
Tummy Ache
DElizabeth Jun 2021
Empty stomach.

The butterflies are hungry

Only by my eyes meeting you again
will they be fed.
[An excerpt from "Conveyance"]
107 · Feb 14
KISS IT BETTER
DElizabeth Feb 14
i willingly rip it out from my chest.
i look down at it still beating, ******, and warm in my grip.
i look up to you and see that you want it...
i reluctantly hold it out towards you.
you hold your hands out with a gentleness that is foreign to me.
i hesitantly place it into your cold hands.
i wait and watch for your reaction...
i desperately look into you for something, anything...
and beg you to kiss it better...
you look down at the pulsing *****, overflowing with love for you,
then look up suddenly, but i find no motives...
only tears streaming down your cheeks, the biggest smile, and the most loving light in your eyes . . .
107 · Feb 27
murder on the sidewalk
DElizabeth Feb 27
the sun
kissed me
as the
night's knife,
unsympathetic, honed, & deafeningly-silent,
took me...
took me
to the headstone
like ebenezer
on christmas eve...
i knew what
i was getting myself
into
but i dove in
anyway. . .
106 · Jan 2022
beautiful, maddening mind
DElizabeth Jan 2022
2 trips around the sun together

the song is happy
so why do i feel sad?

the song is hopeful and true..
so why do i feel scared?

fingers interlocked

legs intertwined

minds interconnected

hearts beating in sync

souls interlaced

in love with your light and darkness..

your beautiful, maddening mind..

you say we're not enemies

but why do i feel your deafening silence
and icy distance?

i don't know who i am in your eyes
i only know who i am..

i don't know what you feel when you see me..
is it everything?
is it nothing?
is it passion?
is it repulsion?

i no longer allow emotion to pass through my fingers

afraid that if i show any, you'll leave again..

so i pretend to be monotone..

thinking you'd like that more..

while inside i'm bursting with color and vibrant skies
that i once shared and wish i could once more and for good..

but i keep my distance..

i keep my guard up..

i'll be cool and collected

not emotional and expressive..

i will never let you see how much you leaving again scares me..
106 · Feb 14
the suture
DElizabeth Feb 14
no matter how pure,
how nourishing, or how flourishing...

the itch drives me mad as i wait for it to heal...
impatient, i rub it just enough to satisfy it.

i wake up with dried blood crusted over my ankle,
where the scab used to reside...

a wound re-opened is a wound likely to stain, rip, and ruin every innocent thing in its path... i leave you with one word or less.

i stammer into the bathroom, and gather the tools needed.

THE ACHE! THE ACHE!...

i prepare for the procedure and breathe heavily...
with shaky hands i attempt to craft my own suture:
_  _  _

THEY'LL SEE YOU FOR WHAT YOU ARE!...

no assistant at my side, always the lone surgeon.
it bleeds...it bleeds...it bleeds...

a tourniquet, a needle, a thread.
just enough so abandonment doesn't show up at my door.

THE NOISE...THE NOISE...

just enough to heal in time for them to love me...
just enough to forget that seemingly perpetual past...

THEY'LL LEAVE...THEY'LL LEAVE...

THEY ALWAYS DO! THEY ALWAYS DO!...

DON'T SHOW! DON'T TELL! JUST FEEL!


deafening silence, whispered cries, and visible sighs.
NO MORE! NO MORE! NO MORE! . . .

i open my eyes as the sweat falls from my brow...
the blood is no more and my heart is full.

the silence has come and the light floods the bathroom floor...
my hands stop trembling and my heart beats slow.

i stand up and stay there for a moment.
i turn around and walk out...

out and to you.
out and to my love...

for now,
or for forever . . .
106 · Feb 2021
Last
DElizabeth Feb 2021
Never enough
t i m e .
We always long for one last
t i m e .

One last
conversation.

One last
glance.

One last
dance.

One last
kiss under the crying clouds.

One last
laugh until our bellies ache.

One last
embrace.

One last
song to be sung...
Sometimes the thing we long for most aren't meant to last.
106 · Oct 2021
[stream of consciousness]
DElizabeth Oct 2021
i wrap my warmth around me

wait for the chill to bite my bones

i wonder if you would ever let me touch you again...

stomach roaring for food.

the clock struck 1 am.

pale-faced, memories of us fading.

fading...fading... f a d i n g...gone.

i deserve this..

i do not deserve this..

i wonder if you still remember the rain on our skin when we first embraced...

tiny dim golden lights hanging on a string, holidays are near and here.

i wonder if you wish you had never met me...

"it can be scary to change something significant in your life...but there is nothing scarier than staying in the same place when it is the opposite of beneficial. never don't try something new that you could be passionate and great at because you're afraid it will change what you're used to."

it will not be easy, but things that are worth it rarely are...

the lake will soon freeze over

will you let me fall through?...
106 · Feb 2021
Royalty
DElizabeth Feb 2021
If you want to make me your
Q U E E N
First, you have to be my
KI N G
106 · Jan 2022
last grain of sand
DElizabeth Jan 2022
i haven't washed my hair for three days..

it isn't like me..

you've hated me for three months..

it isn't like you..

is this the new normal..the way i'm supposed to live..

live with all of the what if's and possibilities and how things could have gone differently..

i'm leaving soon and i will try to tell you..but you will say you "can't talk"..

i will be gone and will you be sad?..

will you remember my kindness..my mess..the beautiful parts of me as well as the ugly, deep, and dark...the way i was always so excited but too shy to show it sometimes...the way i was so sensitive and didn't know that that was my biggest strength...the way i was so protective over you because i never wanted to lose what we had..

the way you would make everyone laugh to distract them from noticing how hurt you really were...did anyone else see you the way i saw you?...the way you'd sigh, never knowing i could hear them...the way you'd walk to your car with your hands in your pockets, eyes never straying away from the sidewalk...lost in your spiraling messy mind-spaghetti-thoughts...the way you shivered when you told me you weren't cold just so you could be there for me when i needed you...the way you carried me to the car...i should have held you tighter...longer...pressed your lips against mine and told you how i really felt about you...maybe you would still be here if i had...

the way we would look at each other from across the room and know exactly what the other was feeling without a single word needing to be said...the way we'd pause between kisses..lips slightly parted..you were my oxygen..

will you feel the hole in your chest the way i will?..

will you feel my absence?..

will you see me when you look at the peach and periwinkle clouds..

will you see me when you see those tiny white flowers on the side of the road..

will you see me when you see white cars passing by on the road while you drive home after long exhausting work days..

will you see me when you hear "Slow Dance In A Parking Lot" playing in the background while you eat with your friends at Texas Roadhouse..

will you see me?..

will you see me the way i will see you..

will you?

will you . . .
106 · Aug 2021
Artress
DElizabeth Aug 2021
There
is
still
beauty
in
art
even
when
it
does
not
make
any
sense­.

Reminder:
It
does
not
have
to.
106 · Feb 2021
Support System
DElizabeth Feb 2021
--You are perfect.
I am not
--You are perfect to me.
     Now go home and get some rest, because you are more than
     deserving of it.
I will try my best...
--And that is more than enough.
     Because when you do,
     It’s already lightyears ahead
     Of everyone else.
I feel
warm
loved
supported
cared for
when you say these things.
105 · Sep 2021
9/24/21
DElizabeth Sep 2021
Replaying
you in my arms..

"We are in this together"...

Replaying
our fingers interlaced.

"I won't stop until I make you mine"...

I loved you
before I knew you,
and now that I know you
I love you so much more.

There is nothing you can do
to scare me...

Replaying
our lips slowly coming together,
your sleepy smile
and blushed cheeks..

"An Evening I Will Never Forget"...

Fogged window,
we can talk forever..

Comfortable enough
to not say anything at all.

Never satisfied,
always more to say
and one minute to say it..

Hold on to me, love..
Hold on with me.
We will live on, love..
Nothing will come between..
And we'll sing our song together.
105 · Feb 2021
Repeat After Me
DElizabeth Feb 2021
~ I am strong ~
(You are stronger than you allow yourself to see)

~ I am capable of doing hard things ~
(You will get through this)

~ I will be okay ~
(You will be okay)

~ This will be okay ~
(With time...patience, my dear)

~ Everything will be okay ~
(b r e a t h e...)
105 · Feb 27
THE GRAND RE-OPENING
DElizabeth Feb 27
eyes wide open
but they're gently shut

vermillion eyelids
and the smell of warm...

dusty dirt-caked hoola-hoops
and birthday barbecue hotdogs,
lines of black and smoke-saturated hair

10-year-olds on roller blades, bicycles, and scooters, dropping f-bombs and kicking pebbles.

suburb golf carts
and splintery playground woodchips
waft through the leafless pencil-like trees

daydreams of sun-naps on the sidewalk,
when we would watch the shadows of ants march across the cracks with driveway-chalk hands...

saying "no no no" with a warning tone
as she tries to lick year-old sticky ice cream stains from the pavement

that new house smell
somehow being better than you remember it

summer's grand re-opening

and we're all here,
then, now, and waiting.
104 · Jan 2022
reality
DElizabeth Jan 2022
the price that comes with loving him
is not my price to pay..
it should be free, no strings attached.
who's victim, villain, prey..
no more labels, no more catch
just love and life and love..
no more names and no more hurt
just memories and more love..
melodies and harmonies
unison, crescendos..
softness during dissonance:
laugh, dance, sing and yell..
the top of lungs
because we're all so loved..
it's all i want
it's all i can't have..
yet or never?
yet or never . .
everyone's at fault.
no more blame,
no more games.
no more shame,
a need to feel more sane..
DElizabeth Sep 2023
the days have been brighter since you came along
(:
104 · Feb 2021
November 20th
DElizabeth Feb 2021
I wish you were here
to wipe away the fear
that
f
a
l
l
s
from my eyes
from asking all my "why's?"

Tired of all these sighs
from hiding all these cries.

Thinking we have spies
to keep us from our tries.
104 · Jun 2021
Status
DElizabeth Jun 2021
Mental health took a dive into the deep end and I don't know how to swim.
104 · Mar 2022
vicarious
DElizabeth Mar 2022
i want them to see
what i see
when i look
at you
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