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Sep 2021 · 372
Forward
DElizabeth Sep 2021
Words almost said.

Almost is not enough.

Is it worth the pain?

Only one way to find out.

Predicted reactions, overthinking outcomes; better prepared.

What do we do now, moving forward?

Stuck within the safe middle-ground, no...

You'll grow tired of me.

What do I do now...

Could we just leave & live a life together?

Would it be better?

Are there ever consequences to real love?

Humans put the pain in love when there isn't supposed to be.

We complicate things & overcomplicate everything.

Let's just be simple.

Let's just... b e .

Let's just exist.

Let's just love because tomorrow is never promised.

Tomorrow is never promised, so let's just
l o v e . . .
Sep 2021 · 106
metamorphosis
DElizabeth Sep 2021
I open the door
to a richly-colored sky
painted with
vivid pinks & oranges,
golds & violets.

A field of hydrangeas
surrounds us
as a monarch
crosses my vision
to the sky...

An evolution of the self,
A transformation
to a new me.

I see you there,
I only feel happy...

Overflowing with love
for you,
will you let me love you
the way I know I can?

You saved me from
drowning
even when you didn't
know how to swim.

"In this together"...
I hear.

We embrace
but I only feel
alert...protecting us.

Protecting us from
division,
no one will hurt us,
no one will divide us,
no one will take us away.

I walk with you
hand in hand,
only feeling warm
& free...myself.

I will always be here
for you.

A dream
of foreshadow
I pray.
A new & happier me.
A loved & loving us.
Sep 2021 · 109
9/24/21
DElizabeth Sep 2021
Replaying
you in my arms..

"We are in this together"...

Replaying
our fingers interlaced.

"I won't stop until I make you mine"...

I loved you
before I knew you,
and now that I know you
I love you so much more.

There is nothing you can do
to scare me...

Replaying
our lips slowly coming together,
your sleepy smile
and blushed cheeks..

"An Evening I Will Never Forget"...

Fogged window,
we can talk forever..

Comfortable enough
to not say anything at all.

Never satisfied,
always more to say
and one minute to say it..

Hold on to me, love..
Hold on with me.
We will live on, love..
Nothing will come between..
And we'll sing our song together.
Sep 2021 · 129
pulled
DElizabeth Sep 2021
I loved you
before either
of us ever
spoke a word
Sep 2021 · 141
art II
DElizabeth Sep 2021
we are never
finished.
always growing,
forever changing.

we are simultaneously
masterpieces
& works-in-progress

we are
beautiful & messy
and full of life

we were
always a
masterpiece

we have museums
full of art & music
dancing within us

and only by
learning to appreciate
our own elements
will we appreciate
the perfectly imperfect
humanity of
others
Sep 2021 · 404
art
DElizabeth Sep 2021
art
Could you love me
as a work-in-progress
or only as a
finished masterpiece?
Sep 2021 · 641
blu
DElizabeth Sep 2021
blu
will i forget the color
of your eyes

or will i only feel
their hue
aching within me

will i get to love you

or will i only dream

will i remember
what gold feels like

or will i only feel
shades of blue

all the songs sound
better acoustic,
because they sound
like you

i want to be alone
with you

no one else
to tell us how to love
each other
or not to love

i want to love you

only if you want
me to love you too

will you want to love me
during my darkest moments
like i do you

there's nothing you
can do to scare me

only by leaving
can i be undone.
Sep 2021 · 336
Apologies
DElizabeth Sep 2021
is the room really foggy
or is it just my eyes?

I'm sorry
I know you're busy.

I will learn to walk
on my own.

What I meant to say was
could you please
help me walk?...

If I go
would you even cry?

I never know
if the externalities
cause my internalities
or vice versa.

Hold me more,
it makes the frost bite
reverse.

If we had the chance,
would you want me
to love you?

I'm sorry
I know that you are busy

I'm sorry
I love you.

I'm sorry..
Sep 2021 · 491
still falling
DElizabeth Sep 2021
Before
either of us
ever said
a word,
i saw you
from across
the room
& knew
i was meant
to love you.
Sep 2021 · 81
thunder
DElizabeth Sep 2021
I always imagine myself
telling you exactly what
I am feeling in the moment,
and how I am feeling it.

This never goes as planned.

The rain pours heavily on
the car roof,
The windows are decorated
with droplets that cast a
gentle shadow, speckled across
your moonlit face.

When our lips meet,
the words never come
like I mean for them to...

When our lips meet,
the words don't work
nearly as accurately as
everything else does in the
moment...

Every subtle & gentle touch
is a language speaking all on its own.
We have no need to speak
with words any longer...

I know every word
you are telling me
without you even saying a thing...

The lightning lights up
the night sky
with every intention of
bringing us closer,
our electricity creating more..

The thunder
that our pounding hearts
make when we get one second
to reunite..
Sep 2021 · 253
felices los cuatro
DElizabeth Sep 2021
you and aforementioned
&
me and myself
Sep 2021 · 134
will there ever be
DElizabeth Sep 2021
I want to remember
what it feels like
to kiss you gently & slowly
to the beat of our hearts
in sync,
catching our breath. . .

Will there ever be a time
when I can look into your
eyes without another pair
watching?

I want to know what it is like
to give you my attention &
all of my passion
without a poisonous thought
of doubt creeping into
my mind. . .

Will there ever be a time
when I can feel your
undeniable attention begging
to have a glimpse of
my aching soul? . . .

When is our turning page?
Will there ever be? . . .

Papercuts is all I feel,
when do I get to
feel your safety
overwhelm me? . . .

Will there ever be a time
when I get to whisper
that nothing makes me stronger
than your fragile heart? . . .

Wherever you go,
I want to be there. . .
as long as you want me to
be there too.
Sep 2021 · 134
a l i v e
DElizabeth Sep 2021
I want to feel
your hand gently
touch my warm
cheek, blushed with red
that you put there
since I saw you from across
the room. . .

I'd give anything
just to see you happy
and well and at peace with
yourself,
even if that means I am
no longer a part in your life. . .

I dream of being held by you,
and wrapping my arms
around you tight
when I'm afraid we'll let go. . .

Will we let go? . . .

I know now that all who came
before you prepared me
to love you. . .
I was dead but now
I am  a l i v e
when I feel you watching me. . .

The songs never made sense before,
I was making everyone
fit the words
but you. . .
the music takes flight
and the words fit just right.
The melodies and harmonies
are reality
no longer fantasy. . .

I want to dance with you
beneath the light of billions of
suns & watch you grow
throughout the years. . .

I still sigh your name
beneath my breath
by accident when I miss you most. . .
Y o u  are my reflex.
Y o u are my reason to love harder.
I want to be your reason.
I want to be your oxygen. .
And I want to be your everything. . .
Sep 2021 · 85
missing you is madness
DElizabeth Sep 2021
tiny cold raindrops fall sporadically
onto my scarlet cheeks.
i close my eyes, looking up to the sky
i stick my tongue out
to catch them.

Violins, harps, & cellos. . .
a crescendo. . .

maximum melatonin
dosage
just to ensure sleep
away from hurting.

missing you is madness.
all i want is to r u n . . .

though i never feel like i know
whether or not
i want to run towards
or away from you.
Sep 2021 · 170
SEPTEMBER
DElizabeth Sep 2021
Sleepless evenings full of love & laughter
Early morning sunbeams peeking through the trees
Purple, pink, & periwinkle skies stretching across the sea
Talking quietly, careful not to wake the dogs
Eastward geese flying towards the Empire State
Music, soft and slow beneath the stars
Branches brown and losing leaves, turning rouge & gold
Even the mountains & hills still call out my name
Remember those misty mornings, crisp air & no despair
Sep 2021 · 105
Sentience
DElizabeth Sep 2021
We all have
so much to live for,
so much to gain.
So much to hope for,
much more than pain.
~
So much to love for,
so much to dream.
So much to die for,
but much more upstream.
Aug 2021 · 104
Words
DElizabeth Aug 2021
You can tell someone
you love them
over & over
again.

But those three words
amount to
nothing
if your actions
never reciprocate
those feelings.
"Just because you love me doesn't mean I feel loved by you"
Aug 2021 · 135
Easy Way Out
DElizabeth Aug 2021
I will never forget
when you told me
that when someone is
out of your life,
It becomes easier
for you to move on
fast.

When I'm out of yours,
that will be all I will
think about.

You forgetting me...
You letting me go...

For me,
there is no easy way out.
Whether they are
in my life
or out of the picture...
It only becomes harder.

My heart just doesn't work that way.
Aug 2021 · 415
carte blanche
DElizabeth Aug 2021
Preserving & protecting
my soul
because all anyone
has wanted to do is
wreck it.
Aug 2021 · 117
Untitled
DElizabeth Aug 2021
You think you know me.

You think you know exactly how I feel when I'm hurting.

You think you know what I go through every day.

You think you understand the trauma I have to live with.

But how little you know...
I only pretend I believe you when you tell me you care. Because I know you never did.
Aug 2021 · 157
Diversion
DElizabeth Aug 2021
I put on a show.
You're easily entertained.
You never notice
my pain at its worst...
I'm not okay.
And you are okay with that.
Aug 2021 · 106
Wrong Hands
DElizabeth Aug 2021
Not a bite to eat.
limbs cold & trembling
at the peak of summer.
I just want a place to rest my head.
Spinning,
fading in & out.
The life around me
closing in...
Heavy breathing
& traffic lights
blurry.
Vivid flashing reds.
Blinding shimmering greens.
Brilliant blinking yellows.
Thoughts,
unwelcomed guests.
Overstaying their welcome
as if they were even invited
to begin with.
It never goes as I expect.
I thought I would feel
safe.
But I only felt like someone else.
I withdrew...
I had my heart ready,
in my hands to be placed
into yours once again.
I can no longer ignore
when it tells me they are the
wrong hands...
I placed it carefully
back into it's cage
& kept it safe from you..
Aug 2021 · 118
Undisclosed
DElizabeth Aug 2021
How could you protect me
from everything else
if you won't protect me
from yourself?
Aug 2021 · 151
Dear Me,
DElizabeth Aug 2021
Thank you for helping me find
what I didn't even know was lost.

And thank you for helping me realize
that it never was truly, lost...

Myself.
Aug 2021 · 209
Picture Me There
DElizabeth Aug 2021
We speak in song...
Our hearts are slowly intertwining
until every part of us is tied together
Find me in the music..
Picture me there with you
"Dancing...swaying...singing until our lungs give out..."
Picture us...
The rest of the world falls away, always.
Nothing around us matters, suddenly.
Blurry..
But you are clear as ever..
Surrounding us, lights from the suns & moons.
Fireflies & embers from the fire that fuels
this feeling...
Vivid colors swirling around & through us..
The heavenly harmonies
& magical melodies;
this is where you'll find me, always
If you ever feel my hand slip away..
If you ever feel our fingers
slowly
loosen their grip on each other...
Aug 2021 · 779
Hidden Agenda
DElizabeth Aug 2021
How you treat me
has nothing to do with me
& everything to do with you.
Aug 2021 · 110
Vigilant
DElizabeth Aug 2021
Amongst a sea of gray faces frozen in a grimace,

I stand unmoved, vivacious, bubbling, & beaming . . .

This subterranean city in which we build our lives,

Only to realize we don't have to forever.

I am learning how to break my chains . . .

The darkness raucously surrounding & determined to suffocate anyone who lets it,

I face with fear to over power it until I am no longer afraid . . .

I reach the other side
where all I feel is warm, immense jubilance
& magnificent colors . . .

This life is once
& a beautiful grandeur
we no longer have to endure . . .

It is our choice,
to take for granted or unearth
our true voice . . .
Behind the poem: I created this utilizing 5 words my younger sister & I randomly selected from a thesaurus...Vigilant, grimace, subterranean, raucous, & grandeur...You may interpret it however you do, but for me it is about standing out & being okay with standing alone while on the road to self-discovery, healing, & emotional recovery. Embracing who you find you truly are & loving yourself. Learning to break free from the prisons we create for ourselves in our minds, convoluting false realities & overcoming the addiction we have for suffering. Happiness, love, wellness, & peace is our CHOICE. We don't have to become the victim of our own lies & needless judgement. We have everything we need to overcome this, & everything else that may come our way...This is moving away from man v. man/society to now man v. self...necessary introspection & understanding that learning, change, & growth is a life-long process...slow progress & even backwards "progress" is still progress...becoming aware & accepting that there will be challenges, inevitably & necessarily...I hope you enjoyed it (:
Aug 2021 · 109
Artress
DElizabeth Aug 2021
There
is
still
beauty
in
art
even
when
it
does
not
make
any
sense­.

Reminder:
It
does
not
have
to.
DElizabeth Aug 2021
If I had to go,
would you follow?

When I have to
say goodbye,
will you come
with me?
Aug 2021 · 121
Windows
DElizabeth Aug 2021
I want to
make love to your
s o u l
& feel it pulling me in
closer when I look
into your eyes . . .
Aug 2021 · 728
Moonlight Ballroom
DElizabeth Aug 2021
I want to dance
with you
someday
to all of our
sweetest songs
in the dark
with only the
light of the moon
& trillions of stars
drifting above us.
Aug 2021 · 146
Autonomy
DElizabeth Aug 2021
You never
answered
any of my
screams for help.

So I learned
to answer
my own.
Aug 2021 · 97
Melatonin
DElizabeth Aug 2021
I no longer care if the maximum dose
has a side effect of nightmares
of you not loving me,
I would rather be asleep
than feel this with
my eyes
open.
Aug 2021 · 157
Show Me
DElizabeth Aug 2021
Is there anything I could do
my love
to pull you out form
under?

Is there anything I could do
my love
to at least silence the
thunder?

If there was anything,
would you tell me?
If there was something,
would you want me to be
the one beside you?

Show me how I can love you better.

Show me how I can draw the
pain out from your veins.

Show me how you need to be loved.

Because I feel universes away from you
when I want to be beside you...

Show me
because you smile
yet I see your pain..

Show me
because you smile
yet I feel your aching..
Aug 2021 · 126
Withdrawal
DElizabeth Aug 2021
Not being able
to love you
is exhausting.
Aug 2021 · 335
Skipped Beats
DElizabeth Aug 2021
"A lifetime spent with you will never be long enough"

"Let's start with forever."
Aug 2021 · 136
No Longer Your Concern
DElizabeth Aug 2021
I'm sorry
I am hurting.
Soon, love
I will be
no
longer
your
concern..
Aug 2021 · 129
h u m a n
DElizabeth Aug 2021
For the first time in what feels like forever,
I felt most myself tonight..
Felt more human than ever.

Standing in the bluegrass field,
gazing up at the swirling hues
that made up the night's sky,
violet, navy, fuchsia, gold..
A single tear drop falling
from my eyes
as I listen to a song
my lover gave to me.

This is when I feel most human.
Most myself.
When I feel the depths of the earth
beneath my feet
as I loose my balance & grasp on
everything I had previously come to know,
as I become fixated upon the
vivid masterpiece above..
As I feel my broken heart
still somehow beating
out of my chest
even though it is hurting & scattered
across the fertile grounds
like seeds of love to be sown..

I took a deep breath in...

I closed my eyes & let my
hands fall to my sides.
I opened my eyes & looked past
the horizon..
I noticed the softness of my hair
grazing my cheek as it was sweeping
across my vision gently by the
breeze..

In that moment,
I felt like me.

Standing there, I knew who I was.
And I know that no one will ever
convince me otherwise..
Aug 2021 · 266
Beloved
DElizabeth Aug 2021
Approaching you,
beloved
I saw your smile
slowly sink as you
noticed..
"Are you okay?"
You asked me.
You felt my heart
was weary..
My eyes don't lie,
I'm sure.
"No" I said.
But I smiled anyway & chuckled
& changed our subject
to physical pain
instead
because I was afraid..
I didn't tell you
what was hurting me..
If you knew the mess
within my mind,
would you ever forgive me? . . .
Aug 2021 · 601
Selfcare
DElizabeth Aug 2021
How silly of me
to think you were concerned
for my wellbeing.
I am trying to keep
myself safe
so that I can keep
those I love safe,
and all you can say is
"you worry a bit too much".
Thank you for helping me realize that it was never your support I needed to take care of myself, it was my own <3
Jul 2021 · 177
(:
DElizabeth Jul 2021
(:
I usually h*te dreaming of you.
But last night,
I dreamt you tried
making me feel small again
into believing
that I was "too much"
to love & adore,
"too much"
to care for & protect.
But it only made me realize
that I will still be
who I am:
loving
sensitive
empathetic
emotional
giving
selfless

And that it doesn't matter
anymore what you think of me.
If you felt I loved "too much"
you are welcome to see yourself
out of my frame
to go find  l e s s
Jul 2021 · 162
In It For
DElizabeth Jul 2021
This heart feels
the satisfaction you harvest after
planting the hurt in it.
Near or far,
your words and words I wanted you to say
haunt it until it breaks.
Over & over.
I can't help but wonder
if you won't walk away
because you enjoy seeing
me struggle beneath your intentions,
or because you know
I wouldn't have the strength to walk away
myself.
And the part that really gets me
is not knowing which one is the truth.
And wondering if you would tell me. . .
Jul 2021 · 98
Toss & Turn
DElizabeth Jul 2021
I call out for you
reaching my hand out
to pull you out
from under...

You don't seem to hear me
nor do I feel you want to

I ask everyone around me
"Have you seen him?"
. . .
"Do you know where he went?"
. . .
No one seems to know
nor do I feel they want to tell me

Why are you slipping away?
Was I right all along?
Will I make you realize
I am not what you
thought you loved?
Will I make your eyes see
who I really am
to watch you turn around & walk away. . .

My hand pulls back
as I fall into the black void
between vivid dreams & waking life

Toss & turn..
but when I wake,
will I still be dreaming? . . . . .
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