When did we loose control?
My spine is now a shattered mess.
Don't you pick me up, you might bleed.
When did we get so cold?
Closed the door with you behind.
Covers cold as are my bones
That is my love.
What happened to your soul?
I just want to know what hides behind
What was going on in your starry mind
That night
When we broke apart.
I thought that we were close.
Now our love is poisonous.
We only stand on the edge when we are close
I guess the door into your heart is closed now
When we are one step from falling.

By the morning we'll have grown back.
We'll meet again, two strangers, start anew.
Is this a good thing, my love?
Do you want to?
I'm loosing again, my friend.
"Tout est devenu flou.
En peu trop fou"
Still can't get rid of my accent.
I did try, for you.
At least that's what i remember.

I have finally hit a dead end.

I hate you now.
I think I should get an apology or something.
I can no longer bow.
You deprive me from my sleep.
I'm tired of feeling like a creep,
You never even ask me how
Or where i spend my days,
I can no longer stand your ways.
Don't you get tired of making up excuses
For ignoring me? i'm left with bruises,
I've been your throwaway for so long.
It's time, i'm moving on.
I'm tired of loosing
myself in my
dreams, dreaming of you.
I'm over feeling blue

Breath out.
In.
Frosty air on my skin.
Out.
Cheeks are tinted red.
In.
There's a more free space within.
Out
No room for dread.
In

She is lying beside me.
Look, my love sleeps peacefully.
Fingertips on your back dancing gently
Come a little closer
I'm telling you it's okay.
You don't have to fight
I pull you in, it's alright,
I hope to be here all my life.
You're the one my heart has chosen,
when I'm with you, i feel like time is frozen
And we have so much space
For ourselves and all our future cats.
(i think grey ones are the best)

You still don't know my name
What if i died today,
Right now, dear May?
Would you remember my face
My eyes, my lips, my neck
Or would you forget
My whole existence
Just like that?
Let's find out
I promise i won't even fight.
Just turn off the light.

And if i stayed
Will you pretend I'm not here,
That i'm a mere feeling,
That with time will pass.
You've nothing to worry about.
Go on, my love
Wanna watch me die?
i've been for a really long time...
Maybe i already did in your eyes.
Tell, would you. please, my light?

i shall stay in you, friend, for not much longer
for one - you're too quick at getting older
your blood gets thicker every day
and among lots of things, it's that thing you do
as a response to somebody's sudden move,
that impulsive twitch in your eye and feeling of needing to defend yourself.
i hate that about you, my dearest and only friend
if only something could change!
Alas, we're both alone.
i am but a flea,
i'll gladly jump into somebody new. anyone, except for me.
nothing feels right anymore.
it's you; it's you for sure
never really alone, you see
i'm always in you, and you have me.
release, the sweetest, please come quick
for my lung twist in need to breathe
and i am stuck in my own throat
forever shoving down my sobs.
You know, my eyes drip water when i look at a tree
Tell me if you know what this happens to mean.

Stay with me, my heart
Tell me if we feel someone we need
Or someone who needs us.
Oh, my heart, I will go with you
If you want me to.
We don't need to hide anymore
We don't need to run anymore.
Stay with me, my heart.
Do we need anybody
If we have each other?

Those whispers with which you left
Still stay in my head.
We are holding on for that night
When summer brought heat
To our house where we ignite.
We never said goodbye, remember?
I vanished in the mist that cold September.
Longing for your mind.
Missing your golden light.
I returned; we smoke together.
You burn the air out of my lungs inhaling it, hiding your hands in my sweater.
You hold on tight.
After we get into a fight
I don't care if you hurt me.
We are just scared of being free.
Pick each other up and then fall apart.
How do we hold each others hearts?

have you ever heard of this?
i could explain it to you, if you please.
brace yourselves and try to take it easy.
there's this terribly terrible thing
almost like a horribly horrible dream,
a bunch of words everyone's so afraid of saying
and if i did, you'd call me crazy!
it's such a horrifying secret!
i'm sure you wouldn't believe that
if you didn't know it was the truth:
i am a human and so are you,
i make mistakes i really do,
i have feelings too
and i sometimes feel like a total fool,
i have had so many embarrassing moments, if only you knew.
with this secret we are through.
we'll talk about the other two soon.

I think I might have inhaled you.
I might have made your feelings mine.
Now  they run in my bloodstream
Now they crawl under my skin.
I try to push them down
To keep them hidden.
Your fears stay inside
Plaguing my flesh
Tying a rope around my heart.
I held you too close
You were contagious.
I did not see that
Because I ment all those words
When I promised not to let you go.
Overweight by your destructive self
I crumpled on the cold marble.
Your remains poured out of me.
All the perfect starts,
Followed by the rotten middle.
All the light we could only feel
Spread across the cold stone.
Those precious moments
When we were sane
Fell down with a heavy sound.
Almost there,almost gone.
Part of me cracked and slid off.
My consciousness.
The scent of spring filled
The still cold air.
But my body stayed there for a while.
Drowned in all those flowers
Until they both dried.

That's what adoration did to us.
Where are you at, honey?

If only you knew
How much i would
do, what I'll be ready to loose
For your sight
In my mind
To become true
Once again
One last time.
Would you do it for me?

Oh love, you know
I can't stand being alone.
Let's go to all those places
Where you and I were one whole.
Where no tear has been shed
And no word spoken with regret.
Where souls burn bright
Lungs are filled will all the light
That is there.
Where waters are deep and fair
And the nights hold all the whispers that
Run out of your mouth
Like dripping sunshine at the moment that is only ours.
Let's go there with our minds clean
Let's leave what is eyed for the unseen.
Please, let us get away!
Oh wait, what are those place anyway?

I've heard them say that i am older than i look like
that i'm probably a elderly men on the inside,
with wrinkles on his face
and this warmth and an old person's feeling radiating from his self,
so wise and so sad
the man, who'd let you have his hand
whenever you're scared
or a shoulder that's fits your head only
that soft and spongy one to cry on
and it's like it never get's soaked.
just so kind and so old.
i know what i'm not
even if it's exactly what I'd want
to be
sadly,
my childlike spine is fragile.
i have way too many shoulders even now
and what'll happen with time?..
i want someone to tell me how
to live my life
because so long so far
i feel like I've been messing it up,
tell me what to wear in the mornings
tell me a better way of making coffee
keep me in check
feel the pulse on my neck.
i don't know if i am more
than that thing i look like
i'm just present
i'm here,
looking at our broken belongings. an accident?
i'm not quite sure,
but they are on the floor,
and my piano flew out the window
i need more room for emptiness
now that everything outside is filled with people so sad,
the stand in line
and somehow they have the time.
it's bizarre
what people can keep inside
and i listen wide-eyed.
keep talking.
when the time's right
i will head out
and draw my curtains shut.
and they'll keep on taking.
keep going keep burning.
and I'll drop my head on my chest
flooded lungs, my shirt's wet
then i'll feel me bubble
then I'll nod with compassion
and we'll drink for all your troubles
keep talking.
maybe i am sad
but should i feel bad?
can i just be
roll around in my wild roses, watch my rhymes roam free

it's not really my voice in my head
cause i'm still floating where the tide goes
sometimes i fear it will be like that
from the beginning till the end
never thought i'd get scared
by a person i had never actually met
no use hiding in the ground, yeah that i do get,
and you have all the rights to be mad
but think, haven't you ever been afraid?

What a strange thing.
But that's what we do, get tall
Grow old
Suffocate with the stars, in the great unknown.

lean over me
and throw up,
get the toxins out.
lovingly
i held your words in my hands, like a cup
it's covered with crystals
the colour gently flows
in my eyes that light glimmers
so raw and honest it hurts.
and although the red tint in my cheeks burns
it could never ignite.
i am a runner
i am running from my life
from the hunger
at least that part
where I'd have to **** off my heart.
lovingly
i'll clench my fists
and throw your crushed down words in the sky
and i'll have a feeling of being kissed.
and when you ask, i'm not gonna lie
i have been lying all the time,
i'm sorry but that's the way it goes
what's gonna happen?who knows!
i hope you find someone who'd want to be yours
but i'm not that person, i am hers
and she holds me lovingly
while i'm needing her silently
she still knows, unsurprisingly

bundles of linen sheets, moonlit floor's an island
and i'd gladly drown in the darkness with you
i'd stay in the darkness just to go with you, doesn't matter where to.
but you know that i couldn't follow you to the sea

so i guess that's the best i can do here
only whisper to the trees and morning birds and waves
plead with them, beg them to get the message, my words, a few
hope, standing on my knees, that the wind can find you
wrap it's arms around your waist and whisper kindly into your ear,
the words are barely there
but you will know
always. i remember you
though i haven't uttered the words much needed
i am shouting now, oh much too loud
i shriek in hopes you hear a whisper

Laughing
On and on about old times
Violence pumping on the radio
Encrypting it's rhythm in our
                                   minds.

Clouds covered the sky
Since I've met you they cry.
You fill me up
I breathe so hard
I think I'm drowning.
My head is pounding.
My shoulders drop
When I see you scoff
Looking down on me
After all those times you and me
Have been one whole.
Now there's only hole.
I am standing in the rain broken
Hoping
That you will come back.
And heal this deep crack.

My tears mix with rain
Only now I feel my eyes drain
They've been spilling warmth
Too long, for someone who's not worth.
The clouds melted and fell from the sky with rain.
It washes over me and now my mouth speaks truth again:
The clouds were the weight that has kept me down.
She is gone and I can breathe now.
I thought I knew what love feels like.
I guess not.
At least I know what freedom is.
At least I know how forgotten love
Feels.

Writing letters that i'll never send
For i am a coward, my friend.
The words I'd never say
Are here for her to hate.
I know she's not built this way,
And sadly i can't always control what i create .
So now it's all here, go ahead.
Take a look at my ****** fate.

Oh please don't go any farther
I don't wanna see you leave
Don't make this even harder
Don't you see what you're doing to me?
I don't care if you rip my heart out
And yeah, i know I'm being naive,
But i like you, i have no doubt.
Or maybe it's not me who's talking, not really.
perhaps it's the liquor inside...
Yeah, it's all a lie, it can't be that easy.
To wanna know someone so distant
Doesn't mean i want to waste my time
On someone who's gonna slip away this instance.
i'm not in love!

chasing visions
Of those long lost
Before we learned to see
And hear all the stars.
Beautiful nights,
Your dazzling eyes.
Who are we?
Do we matter?
The answer is here
I feel it, it is near.
The cure lingers in the night air.
With our feet bare
We step out of our minds
Trying to find the missing parts
Of each other's hearts.
But on our way we may
Find our home,
Under the dome
Of a night sky.
Until then, we are lost
Amongst the leaves on the ground,
Waiting to be woken up.

Falling again
Could somebody pick me up?
I am left out, about to fade.
I am a knot that has been undone.

And I'll never go home again
I think it's time to break this chain.
We'll be flying out in the open blue
Where everything will be true.
But we live in a cloudy dream with you.

The more we hold inside
The easier we are to burst
The lighter is your mind
The higher you will go

thank you for your time!
this has been irrelevant, useless and not fun,
much too confused and much too lost in its meaning
time to turn off my fairy lights
and paint over the galaxy ceiling
my succulent died, i too had my funerals
four times too many.
don't forget your coat and complimentary flowers.
•
[end credits]

your heart-stained sheets
i used to wrap around my waist,
are soaked in salty water
i blinked - it's there, don't know where it came from
It all repeats,
that's why it feels like i'm being chased.
i thought i was a grownup,
but still forgive too quick.
It will have to build up,
more and more, brick by brick.
then you'll stay on my floor,
we'll play your many  games.
you'll leave and will not call.
and then it all could go up in flames
for all i care.
just because i like your skin,
it doesn't mean that you can break in
make a fool of me, get away with everything
Someday i will tell her, i swear.
just because i like your skin,
it doesn't mean that if
you'll want to come in
i'll let you stay where we've once been.
i'll throw your roses in a bin,
i'm used to letting you win,
why should this be any different than it was, dear?
you said that love did not exist,
and you're here, on your knees..
would you explain it to me please?
sorry if i sound cold and mean,
you've told me to burry it within
and now you're begging for me to  set it free?
**** you, honey.
I won't stay until the morning,
I'll be gone.
Left you my keys under the carpet
And I'm gone.
You could find me
If i see you trying
I won't run.
I'm only staying with you for so long,
When it's dark - it's warm,
After - it's time to go home.

"Let her go
You'll find another love,
You'll fall in deeper than in that one you left behind."
But I'm not able to leave yet,
So bottoms up, I wanna forget.
She'll leave my mind
At least for tonight.

weirdly, friend, tonight
feels like
all the stars are for my eyes only
now that i think about it, i might be lonely

My heart, I have never asked you
If you were doing fine.
Until you ached
For a moment I thought I was having a heart attack.
Since then I never see,
I never feel, I never know.
Oh, heart, where have you gone?
If you fall down
I fall apart.
Please don't break, my heart.

I have many tiny corpses
Of memories, feelings - sorrowful losses,
All lie in my mind
My personal little garden for the dead,
For the best of them.
from where my personality stems
Grass and flowers grow into a meadow.
Only sometimes i know...
i notice tints or smells or sounds
Of people, places from my past,
A constant déjà vu, a search
For what? I still don't know.
There's a face that i borrow
And only when in my garden
I take it off, i'm hollow no more
I am nothing, a bunch of organs.
And it feels so peaceful.
When i'm nothing i feel more like myself.
Maybe i just need a break from people.
But then they force me out,
I'm alone in crowds, i wander around.
I can almost hear a train coming
I sit down, I'm waiting.
I'm in a field, where city's hand
Won't reach me, take me away, it can't.
Peace and quiet,
if no one minds, I'll stay here for a while.
I'm just so exhausted,
I wanna spend sometime in my graveyard, think about whether it had cost it...
No, if it was worth it.
******* and your money, i'm tired of your money.
We'll talk about it - not today.
Just..let me be
I want to ponder on the faded.

Youre such a mess
Made of smoke and confusion
Ever forget to make a conclusion
That the dream you see is not a delusion.
The rain
In your brain
Has washed away
The colours.
They were to fade anyway.
Loose your soul
Seeking a mistake in perfection.
Storming seas of you,
A hurricane within your ribcage
A rain falling on your delicate frame.
I can see your fragile spine.
I wanted to fell you and call you mine.
To be a part of your perfect storm.
To heal what once been torn
Apart.
My love,
It's different now.
In your waters
I will drown.
You will run away
Into arms of your lover, prey.
I will be sinking like a stone
Waiting for the darkness to come

Fell apart with a single touch.
Bruises form from the softest kiss.
Tears roll down on any occasion.
Been keeping them at bay for so       long.
Now they flood on your whole   life.
I thought you might reignite my
Fragile heart
Before I-

Let me stay with you in our room
Until i expire
Then you can leave me inside
And fly up into the blue
I know you could.
Or if you don't want to be with me anymore,
Just say it and I'll go.
After all, you're the one i admire.

blank



page



is


not


that

deep.

just
write
something
wor­th
reading.
something new,
that actually has a meaning.

I don't wanna be your dog
That you pick up from the floor
When you feel like being loved.
And when it ends you throw me out
You know, it's really ******* cold.
On the edge of your bed i fold
Too many times, you can have more.
You know what? Have it all!
No big deal - I'm tied to a pole,
forever yours, i'm never home.
I never talk,
No place for me in your monologues.
Gave you all without a thought.
I'm tired of waiting by the door.
And i don't like being alone
I too wanna feel loved.

tore my soul from flesh and bones
to be alone
she has her people and that's not me
so this was not the place for me to be
i needed to run, this city's hollow
my baby said she cannot leave her  ways to follow
i am alone

sold my all away to infitite midnights
gave my fury, my desire, my tongue
gave the shame,  the fear and lungs
for the road that's hidden from hungry minds
at the end a misshapen lake i will find
near the water's surface i will lie
this body someday will sink deep to find my fire
till then into the water i'll stare as the reflection with blind
and salty eyes will dare
to open it's black hole
to strip the pulsing core
and come undone
they'll hear it's howl
for miles
the empress dies
and all the kingdom rots away
for all was said - remains decay
a stifled heartbeat from underneath this crying earth
becomes a silent new birth
then no one will hear a roar,
blood, heat, salt and violent rainpour

what is your soul made from?
Crystal,pearls and other shiny things.
What is your body made from?
Glass, stone and sharpness noone sees.
But what are those strings tied to every part of you?
Those are strings that tie up my life.

Neon light
Is spilling from inside,
Yet there are few tiny marks
Just near his heart;
Neon is tainted with every shade of grey,
Just like his youth was.
Life of a runaway.
Running away from their screens.
If you simply give it some time -
You can see: his soul and mind
Now are running wild.
But he'll be fine, he'll be fine
On the other side.

Body lays there open
While they're singing perfectly
in tune,
Listening to their muse,
The source of horrors and all the blackness
Artificial light is calling their names,
I thing they've just reached another level
Of madness.
Your screens are proud of you -
It's divine.

If i am not hurt, then why does it feel like the end of the world?

There's a hole in the earth and i can feel in grow and I can't stop it from. and i still wanna know how it feels to hold something pure, i want to feel it in my bones.I want to learn how to fly. I want to see stars in her eyes, many suns in her smile and the beauty of her mind.

There's a hole in the earth and it's getting bigger. people keep on hurting people. warmth is coming, it's getting nearer than before. we can only hold it off for so long.

There's a hole in the earth and i can't get it out if my mind. i'm tired of hiding inside but whenever i come out it's like i'm breathing in fire. and I don't want to belong to you to anyone. i just wanna know who you are.

There's a hole in the earth and we all fall down, it's only a matter of time.  i wanna run into the open air and grow tall until I can see the Earth no more. i need to search for positivity, empathy. but why does it seem like it's hiding from me?

There's a hole in the earth and i have no idea when i'll fall, it may happen the next second. No point in asking for answers for i need to find out myself. Until then i gotta keep on keeping on and find someone who'll be there to plant a few tulips for me when it happens.

There's a hole in the earth, no one escapes. I'm sad, but not sad enough to cry, meaning that it's alright. But I'm too sad to write and write and rhyme. too sad to love to love loud and be loved. too sad to hide to fight the tide. too sad to get you out оf my head my mouth my life, May. And you still don't know my name.