bundles of linen sheets, moonlit floor's an island
and i'd gladly drown in the darkness with you
i'd stay in the darkness just to go with you, doesn't matter where to.
but you know that i couldn't follow you to the sea

so i guess that's the best i can do here
only whisper to the trees and morning birds and waves
plead with them, beg them to get the message, my words, a few
hope, standing on my knees, that the wind can find you
wrap it's arms around your waist and whisper kindly into your ear,
the words are barely there
but you will know
always. i remember you
though i haven't uttered the words much needed
i am shouting now, oh much too loud
i shriek in hopes you hear a whisper

i have someone kiss the skin that groans from you

burning out
but never really running out of flame
the water's the shade of your favourite coat hanging on a chair at night
and i remember you
our miseries, how they cost us all we wanted

sweet music but the tune is off
the strings along my spine are hard to reach
but you always know where to start
and so i hear different gasps every other night
the stranger they are the better it gets
and sometimes rain falls to the beat of their heart like clapping hands
but i - remember you
how we kept out the burdens, careful not to make too much smoke between us

tore my soul from flesh and bones
to be alone
she has her people and that's not me
so this was not the place for me to be
i needed to run, this city's hollow
my baby said she cannot leave her  ways to follow
i am alone

sold my all away to infitite midnights
gave my fury, my desire, my tongue
gave the shame,  the fear and lungs
for the road that's hidden from hungry minds
at the end a misshapen lake i will find
near the water's surface i will lie
this body someday will sink deep to find my fire
till then into the water i'll stare as the reflection with blind
and salty eyes will dare
to open it's black hole
to strip the pulsing core
and come undone
they'll hear it's howl
for miles
the empress dies
and all the kingdom rots away
for all was said - remains decay
a stifled heartbeat from underneath this crying earth
becomes a silent new birth
then no one will hear a roar,
blood, heat, salt and violent rainpour

i shall stay in you, friend, for not much longer
for one - you're too quick at getting older
your blood gets thicker every day
and among lots of things, it's that thing you do
as a response to somebody's sudden move,
that impulsive twitch in your eye and feeling of needing to defend yourself.
i hate that about you, my dearest and only friend
if only something could change!
Alas, we're both alone.
i am but a flea,
i'll gladly jump into somebody new. anyone, except for me.
nothing feels right anymore.
it's you; it's you for sure
never really alone, you see
i'm always in you, and you have me.
release, the sweetest, please come quick
for my lung twist in need to breathe
and i am stuck in my own throat
forever shoving down my sobs.
You know, my eyes drip water when i look at a tree
Tell me if you know what this happens to mean.

weirdly, friend, tonight
feels like
all the stars are for my eyes only
now that i think about it, i might be lonely

it's not really my voice in my head
cause i'm still floating where the tide goes
sometimes i fear it will be like that
from the beginning till the end
never thought i'd get scared
by a person i had never actually met
no use hiding in the ground, yeah that i do get,
and you have all the rights to be mad
but think, haven't you ever been afraid?

thank you for your time!
this has been irrelevant, useless and not fun,
much too confused and much too lost in its meaning
time to turn off my fairy lights
and paint over the galaxy ceiling
my succulent died, i too had my funerals
four times too many.
don't forget your coat and complimentary flowers.
•
[end credits]

finefinefine
the word looses its meaning with time
telling a lie
saying i'm fine
well i'm not. even when i don't cry
when my eyes are completely dry
this doesn't mean i'm fine
listen when i say this, everything will be alright
at least better, am i not right

I've heard them say that i am older than i look like
that i'm probably a elderly men on the inside,
with wrinkles on his face
and this warmth and an old person's feeling radiating from his self,
so wise and so sad
the man, who'd let you have his hand
whenever you're scared
or a shoulder that's fits your head only
that soft and spongy one to cry on
and it's like it never get's soaked.
just so kind and so old.
i know what i'm not
even if it's exactly what I'd want
to be
sadly,
my childlike spine is fragile.
i have way too many shoulders even now
and what'll happen with time?..
i want someone to tell me how
to live my life
because so long so far
i feel like I've been messing it up,
tell me what to wear in the mornings
tell me a better way of making coffee
keep me in check
feel the pulse on my neck.
i don't know if i am more
than that thing i look like
i'm just present
i'm here,
looking at our broken belongings. an accident?
i'm not quite sure,
but they are on the floor,
and my piano flew out the window
i need more room for emptiness
now that everything outside is filled with people so sad,
the stand in line
and somehow they have the time.
it's bizarre
what people can keep inside
and i listen wide-eyed.
keep talking.
when the time's right
i will head out
and draw my curtains shut.
and they'll keep on taking.
keep going keep burning.
and I'll drop my head on my chest
flooded lungs, my shirt's wet
then i'll feel me bubble
then I'll nod with compassion
and we'll drink for all your troubles
keep talking.
maybe i am sad
but should i feel bad?
can i just be
roll around in my wild roses, watch my rhymes roam free

lean over me
and throw up,
get the toxins out.
lovingly
i held your words in my hands, like a cup
it's covered with crystals
the colour gently flows
in my eyes that light glimmers
so raw and honest it hurts.
and although the red tint in my cheeks burns
it could never ignite.
i am a runner
i am running from my life
from the hunger
at least that part
where I'd have to **** off my heart.
lovingly
i'll clench my fists
and throw your crushed down words in the sky
and i'll have a feeling of being kissed.
and when you ask, i'm not gonna lie
i have been lying all the time,
i'm sorry but that's the way it goes
what's gonna happen?who knows!
i hope you find someone who'd want to be yours
but i'm not that person, i am hers
and she holds me lovingly
while i'm needing her silently
she still knows, unsurprisingly

have you ever heard of this?
i could explain it to you, if you please.
brace yourselves and try to take it easy.
there's this terribly terrible thing
almost like a horribly horrible dream,
a bunch of words everyone's so afraid of saying
and if i did, you'd call me crazy!
it's such a horrifying secret!
i'm sure you wouldn't believe that
if you didn't know it was the truth:
i am a human and so are you,
i make mistakes i really do,
i have feelings too
and i sometimes feel like a total fool,
i have had so many embarrassing moments, if only you knew.
with this secret we are through.
we'll talk about the other two soon.

behind my eyes
i live with haste
it's crowded place.
tonight
it's tiring
to be myself
oh i'm a mess.
in the dark
i'm wide eyed,
it's a success
when i take a deep breath.
and i watch her sleep
i think that's glitter on her eyelid.
i feel present,
by her side i'm helpless.
my darling
it's not that hard to hide it,
but i would be lying
if i said it's alright
to feel this sad.
Oh if you can
please hold my hand
while i hold my head,
and i will breathe your air.
oh hell, i love your hair
and the way you smell.
oh i am warm again
and for a brief moment
i'm fine
whilst being alive.
hold me for an hour
a month, a year or a hundred,
hold me for a lifetime.

blank



page



is


not


that

deep.

just
write
something
wor­th
reading.
something new,
that actually has a meaning.

You still don't know my name
What if i died today,
Right now, dear May?
Would you remember my face
My eyes, my lips, my neck
Or would you forget
My whole existence
Just like that?
Let's find out
I promise i won't even fight.
Just turn off the light.

And if i stayed
Will you pretend I'm not here,
That i'm a mere feeling,
That with time will pass.
You've nothing to worry about.
Go on, my love
Wanna watch me die?
i've been for a really long time...
Maybe i already did in your eyes.
Tell, would you. please, my light?

I hate you now.
I think I should get an apology or something.
I can no longer bow.
You deprive me from my sleep.
I'm tired of feeling like a creep,
You never even ask me how
Or where i spend my days,
I can no longer stand your ways.
Don't you get tired of making up excuses
For ignoring me? i'm left with bruises,
I've been your throwaway for so long.
It's time, i'm moving on.
I'm tired of loosing
myself in my
dreams, dreaming of you.
I'm over feeling blue

Breath out.
In.
Frosty air on my skin.
Out.
Cheeks are tinted red.
In.
There's a more free space within.
Out
No room for dread.
In

I don't wanna be your dog
That you pick up from the floor
When you feel like being loved.
And when it ends you throw me out
You know, it's really ******* cold.
On the edge of your bed i fold
Too many times, you can have more.
You know what? Have it all!
No big deal - I'm tied to a pole,
forever yours, i'm never home.
I never talk,
No place for me in your monologues.
Gave you all without a thought.
I'm tired of waiting by the door.
And i don't like being alone
I too wanna feel loved.

If i am not hurt, then why does it feel like the end of the world?

There's a hole in the earth and i can feel in grow and I can't stop it from. and i still wanna know how it feels to hold something pure, i want to feel it in my bones.I want to learn how to fly. I want to see stars in her eyes, many suns in her smile and the beauty of her mind.

There's a hole in the earth and it's getting bigger. people keep on hurting people. warmth is coming, it's getting nearer than before. we can only hold it off for so long.

There's a hole in the earth and i can't get it out if my mind. i'm tired of hiding inside but whenever i come out it's like i'm breathing in fire. and I don't want to belong to you to anyone. i just wanna know who you are.

There's a hole in the earth and we all fall down, it's only a matter of time.  i wanna run into the open air and grow tall until I can see the Earth no more. i need to search for positivity, empathy. but why does it seem like it's hiding from me?

There's a hole in the earth and i have no idea when i'll fall, it may happen the next second. No point in asking for answers for i need to find out myself. Until then i gotta keep on keeping on and find someone who'll be there to plant a few tulips for me when it happens.

There's a hole in the earth, no one escapes. I'm sad, but not sad enough to cry, meaning that it's alright. But I'm too sad to write and write and rhyme. too sad to love to love loud and be loved. too sad to hide to fight the tide. too sad to get you out оf my head my mouth my life, May. And you still don't know my name.

Why does it seem like i'm more
Than i've ever asked for?
Tell me why does it feel like i'm older
than it says in my passport?
And why am i only lonely
After someone holds me?
Sometimes when i feel weak
and it seems to me like i can't breathe,
I think that i have grown into a tall child.
And then i cry
And then i close my eyes
And mumble many goodbyes.
Could you kiss me goodnight, mother?
I promise tomorrow i'll behave like an adult.
But i think I would rather
be called naïve,
i'd rather be
alive with a child's soul.
The world has many opportunities,
why does it feel like it's tearing us apart brutally?
I'd really love not to see that.
Everyone seems to have a special friend you scream at,
what? i haven't missed my time to get one yet?
well, i certainly don't want that.
And tell me please
Why every time i feel slight happiness,
A car is always there, and a puddle
And the next thing i know my mind's muddled.
Tell me about a place with no ugliness.
Don't worry mom,
I've paid my bills this month,
Though i still have to figure out
how to pay for my life.

I have many tiny corpses
Of memories, feelings - sorrowful losses,
All lie in my mind
My personal little garden for the dead,
For the best of them.
from where my personality stems
Grass and flowers grow into a meadow.
Only sometimes i know...
i notice tints or smells or sounds
Of people, places from my past,
A constant déjà vu, a search
For what? I still don't know.
There's a face that i borrow
And only when in my garden
I take it off, i'm hollow no more
I am nothing, a bunch of organs.
And it feels so peaceful.
When i'm nothing i feel more like myself.
Maybe i just need a break from people.
But then they force me out,
I'm alone in crowds, i wander around.
I can almost hear a train coming
I sit down, I'm waiting.
I'm in a field, where city's hand
Won't reach me, take me away, it can't.
Peace and quiet,
if no one minds, I'll stay here for a while.
I'm just so exhausted,
I wanna spend sometime in my graveyard, think about whether it had cost it...
No, if it was worth it.
******* and your money, i'm tired of your money.
We'll talk about it - not today.
Just..let me be
I want to ponder on the faded.

I fell for my heartless love
Red leaves falling from above.
Sunlight on her skin is a work of art.
Autumn's near, it's almost here
And i can sense she's ready to leave
Someplace new, someplace warm and far,
Though it's just for the wintertime.
I can't come,
this city holds my heart.
The words stay on the tip of my tongue.
A scream filled the sky
The whole casecade's falling apart
Revealing a perfect night
Lit up by many city lights.
It's quiet out here,
i think I'll stay for a while.
Then I'll by myself another pillow
And I will feel less lonely for some time

your heart-stained sheets
i used to wrap around my waist,
are soaked in salty water
i blinked - it's there, don't know where it came from
It all repeats,
that's why it feels like i'm being chased.
i thought i was a grownup,
but still forgive too quick.
It will have to build up,
more and more, brick by brick.
then you'll stay on my floor,
we'll play your many  games.
you'll leave and will not call.
and then it all could go up in flames
for all i care.
just because i like your skin,
it doesn't mean that you can break in
make a fool of me, get away with everything
Someday i will tell her, i swear.
just because i like your skin,
it doesn't mean that if
you'll want to come in
i'll let you stay where we've once been.
i'll throw your roses in a bin,
i'm used to letting you win,
why should this be any different than it was, dear?
you said that love did not exist,
and you're here, on your knees..
would you explain it to me please?
sorry if i sound cold and mean,
you've told me to burry it within
and now you're begging for me to  set it free?
**** you, honey.
I won't stay until the morning,
I'll be gone.
Left you my keys under the carpet
And I'm gone.
You could find me
If i see you trying
I won't run.
I'm only staying with you for so long,
When it's dark - it's warm,
After - it's time to go home.

Oh i just cannot go
These words are all i know,
go ahead feel the hurt,
tell me why's it cold
if it burns
and why'm i strong
if i fold?

Writing letters that i'll never send
For i am a coward, my friend.
The words I'd never say
Are here for her to hate.
I know she's not built this way,
And sadly i can't always control what i create .
So now it's all here, go ahead.
Take a look at my ****** fate.

By the morning we'll have grown back.
We'll meet again, two strangers, start anew.
Is this a good thing, my love?
Do you want to?
I'm loosing again, my friend.
"Tout est devenu flou.
En peu trop fou"
Still can't get rid of my accent.
I did try, for you.
At least that's what i remember.

I have finally hit a dead end.

What a strange thing.
But that's what we do, get tall
Grow old
Suffocate with the stars, in the great unknown.

Just don't look much at my package
I know, i know
That soon I'll go.
Disappear, waiting to be reborn.

If only you knew
How much i would
do, what I'll be ready to loose
For your sight
In my mind
To become true
Once again
One last time.
Would you do it for me?

Let me stay with you in our room
Until i expire
Then you can leave me inside
And fly up into the blue
I know you could.
Or if you don't want to be with me anymore,
Just say it and I'll go.
After all, you're the one i admire.

Hungry eyes, fume.
I'm holding a wall
Roll back, arms up, i love you.
Your chin, my neck
We spilled our beverages.
Soft songs,i feel you'll get there soon.
I knew where i belonged
Only for so long.
Now it's all gone
Not that i mind it, though.

I hoped you were different,
Made up a thousand nicknames
For you in my songs.
You're not in my hands,
Now I'm left with a thousand pieces
Of my soul.
Baby, wanna watch me cry?
I'm alone at night
Don't you wonder why?
I'm right about to die.
Honey, wanna watch me try?

She is lying beside me.
Look, my love sleeps peacefully.
Fingertips on your back dancing gently
Come a little closer
I'm telling you it's okay.
You don't have to fight
I pull you in, it's alright,
I hope to be here all my life.
You're the one my heart has chosen,
when I'm with you, i feel like time is frozen
And we have so much space
For ourselves and all our future cats.
(i think grey ones are the best)

I don't know the whole story
But it's all gonna pass
You shouldn't feel sorry
For shattering like glass

Oh please don't go any farther
I don't wanna see you leave
Don't make this even harder
Don't you see what you're doing to me?
I don't care if you rip my heart out
And yeah, i know I'm being naive,
But i like you, i have no doubt.
Or maybe it's not me who's talking, not really.
perhaps it's the liquor inside...
Yeah, it's all a lie, it can't be that easy.
To wanna know someone so distant
Doesn't mean i want to waste my time
On someone who's gonna slip away this instance.
i'm not in love!

I was once sweet
We found out you had diabetes.
My bitterness broke through all the silk
I turned off all the heaters

And i have never felt so high
You took out my heavy heart
given me a piece of your soul,in my hands it feels divine
I think i found heaven in your eyes.
You are an angel in my life
you will never die
And my love will follow, wherever you are.
Oh but my time flies
Thought i have a feeling
That I'll never ever see you leaving
at least not in this lifetime

I'm really not okay
I really needed you today
"I am here to stay"
Those words i need you to say

You must close and lock your everything
Thought you can leave the key
Behind on that highest shelf for me.
There's now little we can change in our reality.
We must stop challenging normalities
For few more moments stripped of any formalities.
We're balancing high up on a string
Everything could go dark in one blink
Silence is such an odd thing!

Friend, make sense of me,
Otherwise i will be gone!
I can't stand being lonely
In this world anymore!
Do you know what's in my core?
I feel it there, i feel it grow.
how did i get so low...
i can see small red oceans below

i have so much hurt inside of me
i could share with you
friend, oh please don't leave!
i don't want
to watch
everything i touch
turn blue!

I am more than my dreams!
I am different things!
Now I'm cutting these strings.
I only want to know what life means,
What my heart feels.
I hate a word that clings
On my skin.
I wanna come clean!