Ik wil beter worden,
genezen, waar kan ik het lezen,
*** word ik een onwijs wijs wezen.

Nooit iedereen,
nooit niet niemand,
altijd iemand.

Het is nog altijd onmogelijk
iedereen tevreden
stellen.

Dus beperk jezelf tot wie het meest
betekent.

De ruiten zijn besmeurd,
de huiden zijn gekleurd.

Mensen hebben andere mensen pijn gedaan.
Het doet verdriet om dan
voor de spiegel te
beseffen dat
wij zomaar door het leven gaan
zonder daar bij stil te staan.
Mensen hebben andere mensen pijn gedaan.

*** kan dat toch? Waarom gebeurt dat nog?
Zijn wij, de mens, nu nog niet oud genoeg
om geleerd te hebben, te weten,
als we zo door doen,
zonder meer fatsoen,
het hier rap zal zijn versleten.

As written by the eyes of friends,
as the broken toy our glue mends,
warning signs, it all aligns
perfectly.

Obviously,
words you said, you meant,
as needles, pinches, letters sent,
ripped apart by unclean hands.

We stared into darkness
wishing there were lights
deluded by our sights,
took steps in bismal directions.

We'll fade as our connections,
receive returned letters untouched.
As the time we dreaded, clutched,
we chase,
hoping it would not escape,
hoping it would show its face.

Embracing the lessons learned,
I've lost my will to be concerned

wat

Temporary friends, travelling in the same
direction, seated on the floor of a train
that did not pass inspection, heated
in arguments, chilled by the outdoors
but thrilled, had never felt the pain
others carried deep within their cores.

As they smoked inside and lied
about succes and achieved goals,
as the roaring fire charred coals,
they searched for a place to hide,
a place to look up at the sky at night
and still feel safe.

By day they read books
and faced exchanging looks
as the rusty train paced
across this barren land
that'd gripped them in it's clutch.

Some drank too much,
were overmanned, forgot to stand.

Its final destination was a meadow
dark and pure, the only light
came from up above as if it meant to lure
our strangers closer to endure
the shinings our moon reflected.

Even if these people weren't to be trusted
even if their skin was scarred, lip busted
and they made decisions with a coin to flip,
why or how they came up with the trip,
if they were classy, sketchy or messy,
no one got rejected. They made this,
the least ignorant form of bliss.

Graphs are going up but I
am still feeling down.
My license is high and dry
yet it is as if I drown

in anxious waiting, pressure
plating, above sharks and crocodiles,
under the gun of cabinets and files.

I have everything I wished
for myself in the past.
Now I wish the accomplished
feeling had the guts to last.

Geroep op straat
van twijfelachtige figuren,
te mager als een graat
of walvis in de luren.
Het gaat van katten bellen
naar afgewezen,
oneerbiedige voorstellen.
Soms loopt het uit de hand
en is de schuld te lezen
op een te mooie achterkant.

Divergent gabor patches,
now go and find the snake.
I bet you'll never search
as much as I did.

I know you will never
understand how a simple snake
kan raise the stakes.
When they search it never takes
that long before they break.

And when you think the line is done,
there is yet another patch
to make you reconsider.

Supplementary beauty, outside of
what we call our home, inside of
what we call our working space.
We can't stay here forever, it pays
to travel, it works out to change,
it helps to work and improve our ways.

Talents, oddities, special equipment,
all additions to the perfect creatures,
imperfect perfection is so perfect.

So if you ever find a mark in your book,
or a number in your phone, a name in
the back of your head. Don't hesitate,
reconnect with that addition,
it just might have been an imperfect
perfection.

I'd never doubt you, not at all,
you're lame but it's your call
you are and chose, you were but arose
and now you can't keep your cute little nose
away from me.

It's admirable.

Snippets often overrule,
like droplets do the pool
and you sometimes my past.
I know we wouldn't last.

I took the L, the letter never boring,
equally skilled at hate as it is at adoring.
Don't forget our remembrance of hurry
is also often hazey and blurry.

As lightbulbs they guide,
shine bright with pride
but they also throw shade
on the promises made.

Don't beat yourself up for the details you missed.
Give yourself praise for the present you kiss.

While feeling slow, life goes so fast.
From tucking coats to looking down,
I thought I left my fears back there in the past but now I see them in your eyes, your frown, the hiding behind legs,
the begs for not having to go without your bags of marbles.

I hope,
I hope you're happy in relief,
the lesson: fear is only brief,
as life, temporary,
the wary feeling passes.

Have courage, brave young puzzling kid,
you already have more courage
than your uncle ever did.

Ik wil je slikken
iets duwt
omhoog
waar heb jij zo leren mikken
blijven gieten
blijven kappen
blijven
gaan
en hard
tot ik als de nacht
val
en even niet meer op
hoef

I am sitting, alone, on a chair in a lonely room.
The walls are brown, the ground is grey.
Every time I hear something, I quickly try to
find, searching, where the sound came from.

The sound was nothing but a movement of
the building, changed, affected by the wind.
The sound returns more frequently as I make
my way, walking towards the door without a handle.

Suddenly I cannot hear it anymore, I'm sure it's there
So very sure, but I guess I am finally used to it.
My mind is at ease and everything seems better than before.

I tried ramming, knocking, bashing even beating and
pounding but this door just will not budge. It is not
that I am too weak, deep inside, I just don't want to leave.

Ik kan bevestiging geven
dat jij het hebt verneukt,
alles opgefuckt in 't leven
en overal in gebeukt.

Spiegels breken, castrolletjes
met tomatensoep
vallen op de houten vloer.
Je gooide al je vieze doekjes
naast de vuilbak en nu geeft niemand nog een moer.

Ik heb nooit in jou geloofd.
Je hebt geen bevestiging nodig
maar een tik tegen je hoofd.

Ik maak me zorgen om de zorgers,
de sociale levers en droom-opgeborgers.
Iedereen strijdt nu in of buitenshuis
in koude stilte voor het feestgeruis.

Probeer het niet te zien als gekneveld wachten
maar met eigen leed, ander verzachten.

Schommel, wip, een touw aan banden,
als ik spring, mag ik dan
naast jou landen,
kan jij mij dan toevertrouwen
dat ik dichterbij de gauwe
afschriften mag zien
en voelen
of dit nu is wat ze bedoelen
als ze zeggen, liften
gaan niet heen en weer
en wij gaan al een tijdje
niet meer op en neer.

On the first of every
januari
we will meet again
and again.

We discuss, walking
or cycling, whatever it is
that keeps us going.
Whatever it is that keeps us sane.

Acceptance is underrated,
to accept one another
truly
for this, so long I waited.

He is an ugly man,
hard to
connect with.

he gets neglected,
or plain rejected,
he doesn't see
what really matters

He is a catcher, angry at batters.

A man to avoid, a man who is better,
he does not fulfill any need, hopeless by
greed and troubled by green.
The last day he was seen,
he carried a stone, to resemble his heart
when he fell apart.

Everyday it matters less,
we walk around, clap at eight,
we work and sleep, digress
or try to lose the latest weight.

At night, we drink, at day
we only shower when
we stink. We look the part
and can't remember how exactly
it did start.

For forty days, lives end on one
decay on the other. We mock,
why even bother setting up
the alarm clock.

Heimwee naar het echte werk,
een vergadering gemist.
Het team maakt ons sterk
zelfs als je naast het complimentennetje vist.

Ik wil een potlood in mijn neus
en dansen op de tafel, een bureau
met chocolades op de wafel, eau
de toilette op de muren en in mijn handen buren
die niet op het vliegtuig durven.
Ik wil de dagen turven, zolen kussen
en prutsen met ideeën, zinken in de zeeën
van tijd
komt het er wel van.

With every loss he builds another wall
with every downbeat he beats himself up
with every song he adds he cries and lies all
will be fine.

He says he will not, knows he isn't, heard she doesn't,
the glass through which you look at me is made of pity,
the shoes I wear are less witty, my comments on ways.

I could walk an eternity of infinities, times ahead of
plans, working, divided by the times I've mocked myself,
nothing left.

Why should I keep writing, when
there is no one to write for.
All that I have written, made me
less attractive, made me hopeless

Chanceless, I feel so stupid, sad
and mistaken, does nobody
not a single girl, think I'm cute enough
to help me out of this sightless hole

Tell me I'm not useless, tell me there is
someone out there, tell me it's you.

I'd write about you, for you, with you, metaphores come automatically
Words arrange themselves when you bring them to me.
It's not necessary to like my writings, just be flattered that I'd do it for you.

Isn't that what really counts, counting the days till I see you
meet you, recognizing, each other, missing piece, long lost feelings
rejoined.

Join me in my journey, escape the nets of fishers, escape the cages of the zoo
escape the reservoirs. Together we could be unique creatures. Loved and hated
Adored, adore me like a cold sundae on a hot sunday.

Teach me, singer.
Teach me, lover.
Teach me, teacher.
Teach me, clover.

To sing about love,
to learn about luck.
Teach me to be
whoever I wish to.
However not to be alone...

I'll learn that on my own.

Als ik jou zie, zie ik niets anders dan jou.
Niet meer, niet minder, jij, jezelf.
*** je lief bent voor de hond,
*** je in je eigen mooi-zijn secondelijks bestond.
En elke dag bestaat.
Dat je echt bent, ten aanzien mijn insziens, is
soms aanzienlijk onecht om in te zien.

Als ik jou knuffel, voel ik vliegende flodderende
fladderaars overal rond en in mijn buik.
Ik voel dan verse thee en broodjes met kaneel
en glunderende oorbellen die nog net niet je mondhoeken
vergezellen.

Ik doe mijn best om er te zijn, hopelijk niet te veel,
hopelijk nog fijn,
nog lang nog fijn,
nog lang dat schort met dat konijn, kokerellend
met mijn hart.

Als ik te binnen schiet
dat jij echt bij mij bent,
in dit leven, dan geloof ik niet
hoeveel apen in de ruimte hebben neergetypt om dit prachtige verhaal te schrijven. God en ja
en dan kan het me beklijven
als een natte regen plakboes, klevend door een windvlaag.
Je bent erin geslaagd, je vliegt en bent gevlaagd en
mijn raamkleppen kletteren, klappen en applaudiseren nog.

Ik krijg jou niet meer uit.
En vroeger was dat angstaanjagend
soms.
En nu,
als ik daar nu aan denk
dan wil ik nooit meer andersoms.

I have dabbled in creative writing,
I have tried to play guitar,
I have smelled the exciting
smell of greatness
on the toes of those whose work
I can enjoy.

I am part of the crowd,
raising glasses,
I am part of the masses
and I sing along so loud.

As long as I don't ever get cocky,
in my humblest regards,
I'm allowed to keep quoting rocky
or choose whether I show my cards.

Over a thousand questions float.
But I'm too high-and-mighty
to search and ask for the light he
lost. I know some answers, quote:
"You are not who I thought you were,
a dissapointing wimp, not more than mere
explaining words around the bush."

Hush, my darling, why cry over
something you thought would be better too.

When you hold on to that one girl you've met
in life and you thought you loved but not quite sure,
you forget everything else and it puzzles you if you let
it, you start to stop looking around for another thing so pure.

I have known that one thing, never ever so quite unsure it seemed.
what if I let, but not let it puzzle, no, let it go. Will I then finally be redeemed
not searching every moment for something that might be.
Will it then, at that very brief period of time, set me free?

That is all that I believed but never was anything defined
It's like everything and everyone just plays the role that is assigned.

I was hoping
I'd be slaying
bears for gold
at twenty-six years old.

I'm still playing cardboard
swords on socks with stubs and
watching cartoons on saturday,
mourning.

You told me we'd be able
to do anything, no fear.
With heads on kitchen tables,
we all just want to disappear.

Change is fluent,
after a while
your passion turns truant.
Like your smile
when you recognize
the persuant:
Doubling the amount of water
did not double this plants size.

A revolutionary type of slaughter.

Het is allemaal niet zo vernieuwend,
het is allemaal gedoe,
zever zoals dat maakt mij kijkrichting splitsend moe,
opvliegend.

Kheb het zelf wel ook nooit gedaan en toch

gaat het nie om werken, niet om wennen,
allez, jawel, ook, maar
ge moet iemand kennen.

I spilled some words
and they came rushing
as horses, knights in hordes,
as blood, gushing.

Acht keer nee,
afgewezen
ocharm die mensen
die dat allemaal moeten lezen.
Doe ze de beste wensen,
de groetjes aan Theresa may.

My mind is mapped, regretful
were you trapped
in regions with less much ado
therefore I say goodbye to you.

Floating foam like memories,
your eyes they roam,
the rest is perfectly still.
A breeze, so chill,
your breath,
focus, inhale, exhale,
hands and feet are pale.
The melody lingers in the back,
the tension is a code to crack.

It requires skill to feel,
deeply, real, carefully
open the seal, reel
off. Off course and sail
away from todays tale,
like foam, floating, like memories.

Three months time lapse
movies, parties, roofs and sleep,
all natural drugs collapse.

Effort and elation
loss of concentration
tumbling into my core

It could have worked, you know?
Our lack of patience goes to show
neither of us could take a blow.

It is now december
when I so fondly remember
how you came over without reason.

I sought validition
the one thing you refused to give
you've chosen, picked a different life to live.

You'll miss me too, you see
you'll regret it so so deeply.

Because no one else will ever
dare to care, blinded by their lust,
to accept the things they must
to make you actually feel loved.

Escalate,
derived from mountain tops
turning down precalculated flops
being true all of a sudden
releases all your fears at once,
and now you have to choose,
what will you do first
how deep is this one hidden under sea level
enough to quench your thirst,
finish

Alles afgestemd op ochtendtypes,
afgedaan als oneerlijke offday-hypes.
Ik ben een avond mens, wring me
in krochten, bochten naar de wens
van het vroege diertje, de vogel
die de wormen krijgt, die
de raaf van de nacht
overtreft in kleur
en verwijtend lacht
wanneer ik over kleine oogjes en het opstaan zeur.

A daydream at night
love at the very first sight
sinking, making home
wherever wildly I can roam.
The change itself gets your attention,
attached and gone.
It's greedy to keep the road
your own. Passing lives like
days and loving until it pays.
With effort and a will
you won't get anywhere still.

Unreal it seemed, I'd do the same
just to see their affection. They came,
lined up as friends or family. I went,
when others weren't looking.

Little dots of light and energy, ready
to be little dots in some place new,
spreading their light and energy
and dottiness and the love they grew.

I wish to be a dot one day
but I have years to come.

Remove your shirt
And take my skirt

Dancing *****,
I bet Patrick's very girthy.

Writers, professors, journalists and hairdressers,
students, athletes, baristas and deadbeats,
no one knows it all.

The theory of mind has not been kind
to anyone who dares to search
for an appropriate belief they can get behind.

Horace was right to say, I say this
and if I may, I will retreat,
we can discuss, but do not necessarily have to meet
each other halfway.

Down the line I'd like to be
firm in my two cents. (even if cents are soon to be abolished)
I'll keep them in my pocket, polished, and
if someone wants to throw me more,
I'll happily inspect their core.

If they don't bend, my pocket grows,
if they do, they'll fly into the fountain's lows,
where no one has to ever see
those coins again, especially not me.

It's been so long, my love, since
I have longed for love like I did with you.
As lonely as the dog that guards the sheep
as shallow as myself, I weep.

For distant times and future rhymes.
My life is nothing more than just another
and I'm scared it'll turn out to be true.

I took you off the pedestal where you lived
I want you back but you're too heavy to lift.

I think I now remember why I gave it up
last time. There's no use in making hobby's
work for money and a rhyme.
Keep the passion flowing,
just enjoy your fruits offline.

She's up there somewhere,
's been there for quite some hours,
quite some time. What I'd give and do
to be able to climb in next to you.

I jumped from branch to branch,
broke twigs, snapping, gazed at leaves, trapping
eyes, gliding through the air beneath our tree.
I made it to the hanging swing.

We sat there, for days it seemed,
we went back and forth,
forever, I had dreamed,
for always I wished.

I walked back through our backyard,
head tilted downwards, staring at the card
I once forgot to mail, it read:
You may be the one I want to wed.

I've been pushing far beyond my limit.
Still, no reply, as if I don't exist, as if
I am not recognized. Autumn is coming.
The flowers can feel it, the trees can feel it.

Woodland critters shivering up in their
safe, warm nests. Only caring for food,
survival and continuing their race. Race
back to your home, you don't belong here.

Even though he tries so hard to be a part
of the life she lives, again carelessly, maybe
stuck with someone else inside her head.

I shouldn't care any less or more. Even when
I care too much, it's just right. The wind is
tearing me apart, yet I am up in my safe,
warm nest.