Treinen rijden hier al lang niet meer.
Op de bank van dit station leest
niemand nog de krant,
slaat niemand nog een praatje,
geeft niemand nog een hand.

De sporen zijn verroest, de pannen weggewaaid.
Alles staat hier stil.

Het blijft luguber om te zien
*** iemand die het niet verdient
zo vlotjes kan vergaan,
zonder enigszins gekraai
van eenderwelke haan.

Ooit sta ik misschien op dat perron
en wou ik dat ik alles lang geleden had gezegd,
toen ik nog niet wist wat maar het wel nog kon.

Op de stoep staan dozen,
in de post niks om van te blozen,
aan de deur een kast en
in de verkeerde kamer
een zetel die niet past.

Snel volgen de mannen,
gewapend met een hamer,
om de latten weg te halen en
mijn huisje te verbannen
naar ongehoorde zaagverhalen.

Ik zal dan moeten werken,
ik zal veel moeten tellen,
ik zal mezelf dan merken
en nooit meer dezelfde zijn.

Na heen en weer en her en der gestuurd te worden,
het horen van de straat en zien van duizend borden,
moest ik me even afgezonderd voelen, alleen zijn,
zalig, zielig, eenzaam, op en af koelen
in de zachte wind van mei.

Mijn hoofd is klei, mijn handen zacht.
Ik heb geen dag gewerkt en dat ook nooit verwacht.
Maar vroeg of laat droogt het op en zit ik vast
in onveranderbare vormen.

Lijden volgt op volgen van de normen,
hoewel afwijking ook kan storen,
ruik ik liever met mijn oren
of zie ik met mijn tong.

Zong de vogel ook maar in de winter,
sliep ik ook maar voor middernacht.
ik droom meestal later maar vind er
nooit iemand die lacht.

Ik sluit me op om te ontwaken
uit de vloeiende stroom van onbeïnvloedbaar gedrag
wanneer mijn uitgewanden staken
en ik genoeg heb van de dag.

I fell asleep, seated on a chair
beside your bed, softly loosening
the squeezing gripping of your hand,
picturing your auburn hair and
wind chafed skin.

I saw you levitate above the grass,
I saw you emerge from some frightening mass.
It was then, right there, when I suspected,
you could be the mongoose
and I would be the snake.

I got sent from place to place,
the other side of the city center,
to get some ink on some paper.

I got sent from case to case,
the inside of the love you lent her,
knowing you would want it back.

Zacht is het om met voorbedachte rade
toen al te denken aan ingehaalde schade.
De voorspelling van gisteren is nooit
voor mij van toepassing geweest,
geen kans op centreren of op voorhand leren
wat dan morgen soms geneest.

Het effect is negatief en twee dimensioneel,
de grafieken zijn me eventjes te veel.
Denk dus later al aan het gevolg
van mislukte schattingen.

Ook ik verlies wel eens controle.
Mijn rust is dan aldaniet bewust ten dole,
mijn zelfbeeld ten dode
opgeschreven en mijn bedoeling zogezegd verheven.

Spelen wij dan allen soms,
misschien intentioneel, toneel?
Werken wij dan, elk van ons,
met tegenzin te over, veel te veel?

We doen het elke dag, bedenk ik,
we doen het unaniem,
met hier en daar een enkeling
die alles toch al heeft gezien.

Ik bedaar dan, geef mijn fouten toe,
besef dat ik nog veel moet leren over nagenoeg alles wat ik doe.

Ik heb een duidelijke taak gekregen,
gisteren de glazen zitten legen,
verlegen toch in bed gelegen
vanwege de wegen die doorwegen
op mij en mijn zin zit tegen.

Begin dan toch gewoon,
laat al de rest maar vallen,
begin nu eindelijk,
alles is toch tijdelijk.

Ik heb me erachter gezet,
goed opgelet, ik weet het,
't is een leugen, een klucht.
Ik ben dan toch begonnen
al was het met een diepe zucht.

Al even durf ik niet te geloven,
onder ogen te zien,
wat er allemaal verschoven is.
Ik mis routine, moet mezelf terug
kunnen verliezen in zaken
om ze achter de rug te weten geraken.

Ik heb moeite met onzekerheden,
waarschijnlijk door gebeurtenissen
uit mijn overdreven, zacht verleden.
Enkel zo kan ik een voor een de dagen wissen,
de tijd van toen terug missen
kortom niet langer
mijn levenslust vergissen.

Duizelingwekkende pijn vertrekt vanuit mijn rug,
mijn ogen staan op barsten
zienderogen
zou ik het noodlot tarten,
had ik mezelf voorgelogen,
ik zou het allemaal wel oplossen
later
maar de leegte keerde steeds weer terug.
Mijn tanden knarsten,
vingers bogen,
het zwarte scherm speelde me te parten
levenloos en leeggezogen
wie kan mij verlossen
van al wat ik mezelf heb aange-
Daan.

Over twee dagen of een week,
ooit zal je weten wat je wilt.
Dan zal de zon nog steeds hetzelfde schijnen
maar het wolkendek verdwijnen
als de tranen van daarstraks.

Ik zal dan een kaarsje branden,
voor jouw vis, je kabel en je kat.
Nooit meer zal je vergeten
wat je toen
aan jezelf had.

The sound is uncontrollable,
it bangs, it knocks, the side of my head,
it rolls and rocks, my face turns red,
with anger, I burst, it burns.

The door was closed, I cursed,
isolated yet easily approached,
it searches me, I feel hunted,
I feel poached.

I yell, I scream, it's all the same,
from inside, it's different,
it's not getting anywhere, I hurt,
my cries were never heard.

I wash away the dirt, build up
after days of focus, my dreams, they mention
attending a funeral for my attention.

We zaten per twee in een kring
op een wei
in een weerstad
die eens per jaar weer
wakker wordt

Elk van ons bewapend met een fles,
een blik en een stoel.

Het duo met de kortste drinkperiode
kreeg een prijs aangeboden,
allerminst een die tot beter leidt,
gevoelloosheid.

I've said too much again, my guest,
like when I promised an ending
to that pending love request.
Promptly taking the stairs,
avoiding stares by gazing down
at my own feet.

In the bathroom I collect myself,
I get myself together. I am ready,
I am ready, this time I will get her.

I flush away the thoughts I'd rather
not have said out loud, I'd flush it all
to blend in with the crowd.

Yet when I go deeper, I would not,
reminding myself my integrity may
be the only treasure I have got.

She's up there somewhere,
's been there for quite some hours,
quite some time. What I'd give and do
to be able to climb in next to you.

I jumped from branch to branch,
broke twigs, snapping, gazed at leaves, trapping
eyes, gliding through the air beneath our tree.
I made it to the hanging swing.

We sat there, for days it seemed,
we went back and forth,
forever, I had dreamed,
for always I wished.

I walked back through our backyard,
head tilted downwards, staring at the card
I once forgot to mail, it read:
You may be the one I want to wed.

I fell from stairs, at once I reached the ground.
My expectations, full of bruises, left me mesmerized,
when I saw my skin intact,
I knew what my prediction lacked.

I made no sound, my mouth kept shut,
a lot was taken in, a lot also was not.
The pain, however insufferable it may have seemed,
had all at once again redeemed beyond what I had dreamed.

My life had changed by change I do still fear
yet no longer do I stare excessively
at the fear that still resides inside of me.

Less indifferent, less feels different,
as familiar as insistent.
The cold wind gripped my arms and shoulders,
the lights surrounding one place
made all else seem darker.

Uncharted territory, mapped by my discovery,
leading my recovery
in a revolution, instead of towards solutions.

In growth we see, what it meant to be
together, assessing, analyzing the
lost familiarity.

I saw you multiple times before,
now, all I need has become to see you more.

These flames too far to lend me warmth,
my heart too cold to stay unharmed.
We were ripped apart
as the target of a dart,
thrown with similar audacity.
I pity myself
for being driven
for letting go of the wheel,
for losing touch with
what should have been
kept real.

We feel these things we cannot see,
we aim to become what we cannot be,
grasping, clawing, endlessly,
feasting, gnawing on
reality.

Cute and ridiculous,
we don't care
if they ridicule us,
I'll be there
soon.

Hard to believe,
hardly do you leave,
I'll stay as long
I'll stay for another song
as we want
as summer passes
as we pass classes
and lasses
My eyes wandering
ending up
Gazing up and
down at you.

All I want to do is grab your waist from behind,
unwind and kindly say,
I'll be here for at least another day.

You were engulfed, in flower beds, by pink
clouds and wooly masses, dogs and fishes,
waiting for some game to load, I think.
This is ineffably, inexplicably daunting
how my mind harasses hours in some fade out mode.

I was manic, forged by panic in unhealthy
seas and waves. This thing we have, how it behaves,
is clueless, sightless, blind yet anything but fightless.
We aim to work for all we want,
I can't stop thinking, linking every action,
every contraction that has lead me to feel for you.

You were hidden, I was shortly ridden of the smell,
the hairy distractions, predicting how I ought to live.
Though you give me answers, I have no more questions
for every doubt is swept away.
Even when I play I can't be wrong, neither can you
in any thing we'd think we'd do.

We're always right and always winning,
don't forget, we're only just beginning.

She took the swing, this fragile thing,
she took the shot and since then she's got
me jumping, got me running, hitting,
frantically searching, no time for sitting,
she's got me in this corner,
knowing all this time I'd have worn her
as a hat or red
cowboy boots.

Her being loots
my mind, my waking moment,
I want to hold, touch and kiss
engulf us both in bliss,
as we watch and comment
as we notice what the calm meant
when we finally found our seats.

Heartbeats chase us, take us
underground and up again,
shivering, trembling body parts,
these hearts, shaking, swinging,
without the need to plan,
keep my passion singing.

Damaged goods, baggage lugging,
in desperate need of comfortable hugging,
every night, every time until she knows,
any way it goes, it will all be just right.

Socks mixed with pants and shirts everywhere,
she needed structure, someone to care
for her and her impeccable disorders,
with a mindset that borders
on pathologically obeying to any kind of order.

I tore myself away back then,
three years ago, when
all you had to do was say hello,
when all your wishes were granted,
movements were enchanted,
ideas implanted
in a dream, an idea,
never what it had to seem.

Gone you were so proud,
apart you were so happy,
when you chose, even more than when not,
it resided in knowing what you've got.

Occupied, busy, locking doors,
unwashed hairs, frizzy, always
calculating, almost all days,
memorising, dedicated hearts
mesmerising all possible counterparts.

He came outside today, smelled a flower,
finally left his tower, to play,
as long as his muscles stay fresh,
his flesh away from sour
tiredness, he'll find reasons,
methods to devour our beauty.

Processed, bland, in order,
safely divided, a border,
statistics, graphs and charts,
his mind parts all he wants to know
from where he feels he wants to go.

From miles away he's spotted,
unlike the scheme he's plotted.
He sips, looks down and back at you,
compelling eyes, holding stare,
he asks you if you dare,
dare to be true
to yourself.

He slid his hands into your being,
saw all you were but weren't seeing,
grabbed your honesty by the collar
to show your purest colour,
secretly, he wishes you to be
all you ever wanted.

Smoothly, charismatically, he made you meet
your maker, leave open your seat
for the perfect taker.
As he walks away, with pride,
knowing you have got nothing left to hide,
you tremble, assured no man will ever resemble
the one you've witnessed at work tonight.

Starlight makes sense,
cleaning up the lense,
gathering pens and revelations,
gaining healthy expectations.

Escape, with music, escape
out into the wild, the outdoors,
festivals and party floors,
take leaps, put tape
on your tent to fix it
or buy a new one.

I want to go
wherever our minds take us
wherever your mind may take me,
hold you, don't forsake me
now for my mistakes,
gather all our feelings
at lakes, in letters, in notebooks,
far from crooks, fantastic beasts, looks and hooks.

It took you to save me
not me to save her,
concur
and explore with me these fields
explore what our connection yields,
read me, my words, read me, my birds
are free to fly to thee
I am what you want me to be.

Nudge, shove, turns into push,
words gush, a silent rush
yet no reaction.

Retreat, react, relapse, repeat,
never in the same place,
not even able to meet,
running some platonic race.

Decisions ruin, picking one makes and breaks,
Rice was right yet one solution,
tear apart instead of up,
run away for both your sakes,
run away from this pollution,
this toxic hurricane.

Go home, be safe and sane,
letting outside's air in will only cause more pain.

We saw we lacked fulfillment of desires,
goals our mind hardwires into our existence.
We made a pact called resistance,
made a promise that appalled assistance
we don't need anymore.

Morally grey, black and white were never
meant to stay, we were supposed to sever
ourselves from past whining, unable to withstand
declining, weepers, lonesome sleepers,
armed with their hand.

We're not back, admitted, we are only just beginning,
we recognized the lack, the start of our winning.

Ill one, looking for a cure,
stop looking and be pure.

Sick one, losing to be sure,
is there nothing you endure,
nothing you can stand,
are you that pathetic,
unable to land

You've misplaced the origins,
failed to admit, failed to get rid
of your insecurities
yet now you're knowing
of the ways you could be going.

The questions always come down to one thing
and the answer is bound to sting
your behind.
Keep your mind
on starlight
and every possible predicted future
will turn out right.

Arrogance, high-pitched laughter,
hiding behind some old fashioned
movie smile knowing you're a fraud
yet pausing and waiting for people to applaud.

Manipulatively working your pawns
for comfort, for egoistic measures,
abusively, but too easy to stop.
You're an actor, live performer,
liar and a former sizzling fire.

It's tempting and intriguing, it's deceit,
how you mistreat your minions,
unethical and wrong and you are aware
your mind's wellfare is based on other's opinions.

She handed me life in a glass of wine,
I took a sip, gave it a try
as if I fired my personal spy
and everything seemed fine.

It took a while to take the time,
stand still, think and fill
the glass right up again,
it's nice to loosen up
I think next time
I'll drink
it will be from a larger cup.

While drinking a beer on my roof
I saw a man on the other side
of this river on his balcony
set his cigarette to light.
I waved and asked him
about last night,
what are we doing
and why,
still awaiting his reply.

He went back in,
his favourite sin,
smoking with a grin
was now forbidden behind doors,
he had to come back out
again, to press his lips
and move the air
from lungs to fingertips.

How dare he be without defining,
how dare he deny the silver lining,
how could he act without any further thought
and throw away the things he just had bought.
(seemingly so eagerly)

I accepted friendship from this man.
As I took another sip from my can,
I knew that he could tell
when I noticed my own fingertip
that it was ridden with that smell.

By distance, by the stance,
by every cheeky glance,
every small yet wonderful dance,
every movement of the hands,
every mistake,
by all the chances I got
and were yours to take
we will know if though or not
the picture has place left
to stretch out into.

As he removed his socks
at night in bed, he lingered,
opened locks he'd rather see
blocked, kept away.

Fatigued yet restless as his soul
invested in the cause of debt,
he pondered on reasons to let
it all behind, leave.

Her presence hid in some forgotten place,
replacement, soon to turn the other cheek
less and less thinking of her face,
goal-attainment reached the peak,
keeping busy in many ways.

He met the borders, limits
he had sought, dared to love for once,
albeit it all for nought.

Coping in interacted paragraphs,
forgetting how she laughs,
shrinking two sizes,
time buys us
revelations,
reasons for lost relations,
pathetic reasoning drove men crazy,
sour, winning by being lazy,
there, not in other places.

Depleted, deleted, not needed,
promises, changes, well pleaded.

Move faster, keep moving, keep running
like time is, out. Out of all there was, stunning
how we doubt. I feel pain in my left foot
while the right one has no place to be put.

I'll count the days until it's over,
walk the miles in the stover
of the crops we used to grow.
By any means I have to get
back to some kind of flow.

I won't be the one to regret, it's this I'll let you know,
in a way you've helped me become a tad more slow.

Be there for me
this is bound to blow over
my judging ways
her unheard prayers
oh I'll be gone, doll,
dear puppeteer,
help me steer clear.

No strings left to keep us attached
your legacy remains unmatched.
But I don't want to read your face
I need to keep running, keep up my pace.

Take it all in.
Try to hold on
but let it go,
there's so much more to know,
nothing wrong with alleys,
backstreets or rallies.

Take it in
and let it go.

At first you want stuff,
set goals, nothing is enough.
You see things you don't own,
wonder how they got there,
how it could have grown.

You're there now, don't care, now,
you thought you needed,
safely conceeded
and admit,
this is not where you want to sit.

You leave it, left it, gone, it's tough,
you feel so small and all is rough,
romanticize the whole,
only see the good parts
forget the reasons you left.

The only thing you have is safety
because this place is predictable,
this phase is not going to change,
right here, you're in control.
The hard part isn't getting over,
time will help you leave the rover,
it's actively deciding to make things happen.

Narrow focus, looking too closely
makes you miss out on things,
takes away your wings,
reduces chances, oblivious to glances.

Widen, don't expect it all,
open, don't be afraid to fall.
This fear is not a cure but a cause.
It makes you reconsider,
uncertain, unsure, you pause.

Get out there, don't forget,
just do things, learn, accept regret,
get out there, live as all, not knowing what you want to be.
Explore, you don't have to be sure,
adventure, growing, striving, pure
attitude, luck and gratitude
for all you took for granted
while you laid there, hopelessly, falsely endorsed
fearfully, pathetically wanting
things from others who aren't to be forced.

For god's sake, man, be fearless for a while,
hone your style, wear your smile
only when true. Roll with the punches,
take the kicks, all you need to do is
you.

He made a checklist,
raised his fist
and yelled.

As he coloured the boxes,
as he checked off the lines
he'd finished, he diminished
his life to separate stars
and lost the constellation.

You're hired, start monday,
seize that day,
take it,
it's yours.

Off course, unmanned
no map, nothing planned,
no lookout, no captain,
no treasure.

Passing hours, passing notes,
wandering the sea
on different boats,
living the illusion you are free.

Let the waves carry you
let the tides, the moon and the wind
guide you away from the times you've sinned
only to return when true,
completely torn apart from value,
blue and red, steady,
don't let anyone knead,
wait until they've fled,
when you are ready.

Bearded, hairy, pimpled fairy,
repulsive, obnoxious, loud and anxious,
daring, daunting, sweating, crying,
lying and prying
to get the details out,
presumptious, precautious yet nosy,
bossy, knowing it all and showing it all.

Dancing for no apparent reason,
same for singing,
showering, caring and pairing.
Associations big or small,
drama at the mall,
glances, waves and smiles
helping others with piles
of work, with quirk.

Strong, fierce, succesful beings, kind
with deep eyes, steep noses, cheeks
and jaws, able to cut glass,
a freakishly tight, yet humbling behind
or ***.

Adventurous, spontanious, loving
and watching and staring and matching
catching every voxel, every pixel, every line
or dot
or just a couple or just one or not.

Full, sizeable or rather small, yet kissable lips
or standing tall, bizarre
symmetry, bigotry, whining and ambitiously
becoming a truer version of what you
think you are.

How she skated,
gracefully evaded
falling down.

She twirled and danced and slid
without ever getting rid
of her precious glow.

The lanterns were lit,
it started to snow,
she hopped off to sit
but I had to go.

Stop the lies,
there's other things to do,
better things to do,
just break the ties,
leave it all
until it safely dies,
leave it all
for someone else.

Compelled to let go
I want you to know
there is no other way
there is no better way.

There's not much honor in dying
even if you're fighting, at least trying,
save your giving
for the living.

The room was a mess,
even ***** for a while,
over there, in the corner
laid a pile of worn out clothes.

Packages spread,
silverware still red
from last night's
spaghetti.

A wine glass broke
when she left, screaming
things she didn't mean.

She did know how to provoke,
her words were deeming
everything would be clean
next week.

I've made bets, I've done my wages,
locked my money in specific cages.
As it rages, as it's yelling to be freed,
I've worked out the raises that may lead
to what I need.

I've parked my car so often so soon,
I've tried to take pictures of the moon
in cities, in bars, on rooftops, on mars.

The plants are dead, the lights are dimmed,
the trees and hedges, carefully trimmed.
My garden is a place of finding
things, binding things, reminding
me every once in a while
how too much water killed the smile.

Other options seemed to pale,
I bailed my investment out of jail
as soon as I saw the rotten, rusty hinge,
stale enough to make me cringe.

When markets are inconsistent
and your growths may seem persistent,
take another look outside
to remember every time you've lied
to keep your dreams alive.

Temporary friends, travelling in the same
direction, seated on the floor of a train
that did not pass inspection, heated
in arguments, chilled by the outdoors
but thrilled, had never felt the pain
others carried deep within their cores.

As they smoked inside and lied
about succes and achieved goals,
as the roaring fire charred coals,
they searched for a place to hide,
a place to look up at the sky at night
and still feel safe.

By day they read books
and faced exchanging looks
as the rusty train paced
across this barren land
that'd gripped them in it's clutch.

Some drank too much,
were overmanned, forgot to stand.

Its final destination was a meadow
dark and pure, the only light
came from up above as if it meant to lure
our strangers closer to endure
the shinings our moon reflected.

Even if these people weren't to be trusted
even if their skin was scarred, lip busted
and they made decisions with a coin to flip,
why or how they came up with the trip,
if they were classy, sketchy or messy,
no one got rejected. They made this,
the least ignorant form of bliss.

Things I deemed irreplaceable,
choices, acts, unexplainable,
words and sightings,
breath taking lightings
on a statue under cloth.
My sloth got the best
of me, my eyes the rest.

I took you in and let you touch me
get me, see me, you were holding
every string, pulling ever so slightly,
making me dance, making me sing.

I forgot how we were equally the same
I removed the drapes much too late,
the statue had gotten into a rotten state,
decayed, nothing stayed except its frame.

Pedestals, forged without a sound,
rose and carried you up towards the stars,
where you belonged, where all could see.
Yet as you went, I frowned,
my dreams fought wars
with the harsh reality.
And I begged of you to show your face,
return to the ground or leave no trace
behind, my mind devoured beauty
as if it was breakfast, as if it was his duty
to make things up and mourn the loss
of any unimagined creature to come across
this lonesome land.

With a rope in hand
we seek perfection,
instead of growing,
fill the void with thought
to end up throwing
art in bins, for nought.
When we get caught
for all our sins
that's when actual love begins.

Someday somewhere in France
We'll dance, oh wonder,
No need for a second chance,
We ponder the same question
The name

I'm tamer, softer, carefully
Thinking, linking in,
Taking time
Baby steps and books and coffee
The second magic takes me whole
Not about a goal,
Not about reaching,
Nor teaching me what had to be learned
Not about being concerned.

Flowing, floating, no boasting, roasting
Or even coasting, steadily reaching
Shore.