Beautiful muse
What I do to you
Permissionlessly
I bend you and shape you
To the will of me
According to who
I imagine you’d be
I wonder what you think
Of what I think I see
Maybe someday
You will tell me

I could not find ballads or books
that spoke of the feeling of losing a friend
its not like a tsunami
that crashes into you all at once  
No
its slow like cancer
the kind that doesn't appear for months, years
it’s a stab of pain here and a headache there but manageable
then suddenly it strikes and sinks its teeth deep into you
coils like a snake wrapping around your heart
inside your ribcage
poison seeping into your veins
turning blood to fire
and all you can do is wait.