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My black hole swallows my pride.
My black hole makes me beg for forgiveness.
I never get it, of course not. I don't deserve it.
My black hole pulls in my fears and pays no mind to my prayers.
I wake up asleep and sleep awake.
I've been ruined by my own sins.
These sins I never own up to.
Is that my black hole writing?
I'm the victim here. Swear.
My only salvation is located in the hole.
****, I can see it.
If I jump in I may be lost forever. But I'm forever lost.
My black hole haunts my dreams.
And I don't even dream anymore.
I just see everything I'm not. Everything I want to be.
My black hole gets rave reviews. Very popular among the normal.
Normal, I wish my mind could do that. I wish I could get there.
This hole, it pumps profusely.
Someone rip it away.
‪Money in my pocket I got dues to pay‬
‪My shine made sure they've never taken my light away‬
‪But my shine ain't enough to guide the way‬
‪Let me find a way‬
‪Idle is the mind when you're going through the motions‬
‪Never being myself, always fighting off emotions ‬
‪You see this blank face?‬
‪That's me at any time, in any place‬
‪My friends don't know me like they think they do‬
‪Truth be told I thought I knew too‬
‪A wild card plays wild cards‬
‪Don't trust me, don't rush me‬
‪You're so lucky these thoughts escape you ‬
‪Started in a happy place but look where I've come back to‬
Don’t reset your fresh on less than the best
Don’t respect what’s next if what’s next ain’t success
Umm, God bless the believers in you
Make those ******* proud for believing in you
God bless you
For those long days and lonely nights
It gets better
You look better in light
I acknowledge your plight
We acknowledge your plight
Simple to see you look strong to me
Strong as can be
Keep fighting
I had to put this in writing because the feeling that nobody cares is so frightening
I do
We do
He does
She does
Keep your head up and maybe when you fly you’ll see doves
22 years later my Pops is still a superhero.
I was raised on Earth Wind and Fire
and saw the way of the world
You're a shining star
God bless the man that molded me
That carried the weight of boulders
That tried and tried and has never quit
Thank you old man
Cool, maybe like a fan
Here's a token of appreciation, from your biggest one
Oh this poet knows that he's nice with the words.
Maybe it'd be nice if our minds could merge.
My Fatima waiting on her knight in shining
But she doesn't need him because her nights are shining
Her roots are strong but she cut the locks now her roots are gone
An African queen that I want to rest upon
But we don't get none, cause she just gets done
“I'm done, it's done, we're done.”
I ain't a sprinter, I don't know how to run
You are my sun
You are the one
It's always something
That stems from nothing
Hate was my vice, attention was your problem
You were gonna help me through mine
I was gonna help you through yours
But I guess I'm not yours
What is a star beneath the moon
The rock that holds us all together
74 reasons why we love life?
A beautiful spirit that radiates as you move near it
A flower that has withstood the test of time and kicked time's ***
The Bell that rings across generations to come
Who knew that two lovely flowers could converge together in the name of love
One has since wilted away but still remains embedded in our hearts and bloodstream
One is still here, among the forces that shake the ground we walk upon
If I was immortal I would live on in the hearts of loved ones.
If I was immortal my name would forever be recorded in history.
If I was immortal my seed would spread throughout generations.
If I was immortal the memories I've created would stick, in an empty vessel.
We are immortal.
Last post I was in a daze.
This one I’ve found my way.

His goodbye was lengthy,
He knew he’d never be back
Down this path, from which no one has ever returned, was frightening but necessary

See his village was dying, every night he’d lose blood, and loved ones.
His people feared it as the wrath of God
But God wouldn’t do this would he?
They were good people
He was stronger than them
He didn’t know why, but he still needed them
He stumbled down the dirt road.
Water in his eyes, he could barely  see down in
No one could speculate on where it went, just that it went, so he went
Corpses litter the ground, he knew these people well
They all seem to have been coming back
He wanted to turn back too but he knew what needed to be done
He began to run
The energy he mustered surprised even himself
Leaves ruffled in his presence
He sprinted for so long it felt like hours
All until he stopped
Dirt flew from under his feet down the giant canyon in his way
A sharp fall awaited him
He grit his teeth and spun around
Mumbling to himself, he began to walk back
He felt a subtle pressure on his back and turns
Like someone guiding him, someone present, but not in his presence
He loved his God he knew his faith was strong
But was it stronger than his fear?
Before he allowed himself to think he ran and jumped from the cliff the canyon floor seems to be nonexistent as he fell for days
He had lost all hope until a bright light emanated below him
He sprouted wings but couldn’t fly
His clothes turned a sharp white
So did his eyes
Suddenly, Kudzinayi was amongst the clouds
Everything felt right, and God, was in sight
The bending light of love.
Snell's law tells me light comes from two.
But I see many more. Many who love, many who live. Life is so beautiful, the highs and lows that churn and mold a beautiful soul. The pureness of you all, your beauty and grace. I love you all. Every man and woman, boy and girl. You are all special. You have God in you, you have God with you.
My loved ones guide me to the top of my dreams. They deserve so much. More than I can give them. So I ask for the one above to do what he can.
Why am I not happy?I've needed space for as long as I can remember.
Love scares me still. It scars me still.
I hate it.
Why am I not happy?
I build for others, yet my lot is empty.
When a hand is needed, I give it.
When I need one, I shout out to people who cannot hear over the sound of their own voices.
Why am I not happy?
Maybe I'm broken, I need people but don't want them.
Self-centered but not self-serving.
When I show them what my worth is, it'll be too late.  
I am happy. Just not happy enough.
With Alice Cooper blasting through the speakers,
I turn to my love and tell her how much I love her,
She smiles and considers it idle talk
We fly through the sky with a pocket of metal around us,
What about love makes a man that's hardened in his ways, soft?
That makes a man who had once lost all hope, full of it?
It's the year 3017
Through my cryo-sleep I never wavered
She used to cry to sleep, bad men doing bad things
Through the pain was the only way she'd sing
I wonder if she could tell how much I favored,
Her, a friend and me, pretend
Until that fateful day
Where it all changed
Where it rearranged
Where love blossomed into a flower
A key that opened doors to happiness
To feelings so immaculate
I'm free without a shadow of a doubt
She looks at me and waves, eyes
innocent
“Whatcha thinkin about?”
I haven’t been myself since I was 9 years old
That’s what I told my sensei
Fast forwarding through time on my bicycle
Not keeping memories
Why bother?
Pain is what keeps my attention
The horror of having to look into the mirror
Hoping to find a purpose that’s eluded me since birth
Numb to everything I sit and ponder my future
Or lack thereof
As I sit in my hole I wonder
As the weather changes again, will I again?
Will I pretend again?
That I’m all good
That everything’s okay
I don’t smile for me. Never have
The monks that knew me knew I was troubled
Even they couldn’t get to me
They shunned me away
They say my negativity was so heavy
That my vibe could **** a room
I take a sword to my gut
Of my own doing of course
Not that I can feel it
I can’t feel a thing
I haven't ever felt like I needed anyone.
People lie cheat and steal til there's nothing left.
Who has my best interest at heart?
Hard for me to trust a man.
Would you **** me to save yourself?
Would you put a price on my head?
Hard for me to trust a woman.
Would you lie to get what you want from me?
Would you take my heart for granted?
Maybe I'm just paranoid.
There are days when I'm in love with everything and everyone.
My words are sweet and shallow.
And others when I don't know why I keep going on.
As hard as I search, I can't find anything to truly live for.
But I'll keep trudging on.
There's still much to do, much to learn.
I thought you needed closure?
I did, but I was told you can’t find reasons for everyone’s actions.
That I’d need to close that door myself.
“You think you’re the first to feel pain? I know it plenty.”
My mama said.
“Just get off the floor, dust yourself off and brace for many.”
This wasn’t supposed to happen to me mama. I was safe, didn’t let many people in, and stayed in my place.
“Oh cause you guarded yourself you think you would never feel it? You’re human like me, best chance you have is to heal it. Let the tears flow, I know you say you don’t but try. You’ll probably feel like a new man once your eyes dry.”
Mama I’m not built for this, there’s only so much I can take.
“Boy do you know exactly what’s at stake? You’re a king who always tries to help others. Now you need our help and you know we’ve got you covered. But we’ll need your help more.You can’t heal if you don’t want to. And if you’re down in the dumps how’s anyone gonna want you?”
Mama you know I don’t care about that. I’ve been alone for so long I don’t even know where I fit in at.
I put other people first yeah, but that just scares them. It’s too much pressure probably, so I get treated like a witch from Salem.
But I ain’t here to whine or beg. I just want out of this misery.
“But you’re a King.”
I don’t care where I go down in history.
I want out.
I never thought that, people really cared about me
I mean I didn't even care
I never fought back, the demons always win against me
Blissful sorrow in the air
I don't think I'm worthy of your love, yes you
The pressure pounds against my chest everyday
But selfishly I want you to stay, yes you
But I know I'll push you away
Always thought I was better by my lonesome
Couldn't hurt anybody with my ups and downs
If I call for you, please don't come
Cause all I'll do is make you frown
I'm good for no one but me
No one knows me but me
No one hates me but me
But no one loves me

Before I end this, I just want to end this
I just needed a witness
To witness this

Thank you for your time
Please take me away
Troubled times have haunted me
Stop my aggression
Darkness plagues me
Don't wait up.


The decision has been made to defend myself.
As my mind wanders, the softer the shield gets. It can't hold on for long.
The camel's back is broken because the horse didn't drink.
No matter how much sense it made to, and how many times I told it to.
My intentions were good at least. My heart was open.
But I am at peace with the trials of recent.
There are no knicks in my armor.
I have, and will survive. My heart will recover.
I get perplexed stares like there's something on my face
But there's only brown on my face
Have they never seen a ***** before?
I look around the ice capped mountains.
**** maybe they haven't.
This ***** is steep.
Cold, but not as cold as my old life
The north freezes my fears
As I create new ones
True ones
No time to fight them so they'll be permanent
I caint go back to what I once was
A shut in, who hurt whoever I let in
So now I'm really shut in
Nothing but strangers and a bottle of whiskey
The sun is my only friend here
And he rarely comes around
I think he's heard about me too
As the serpent pulled me under,
I recognized my blunder.
My prophetic dreams warned me that
although the leaves are natural,
they seek your brain as collateral.
Anxiety fills as I face the journey I must embark.
But first, I tear down and grind up this tree and roll it in bark.
Memory loss is a habit.
Often I struggle to make a thought and grab it.
Were these faults from the past or caused by finely grated blades of grass?
I see a restless canvas
Colors jumping through the surface
Layers and layers of the uncertain
I imagine being covered like a curtain
Darkness held under wraps
While the light fights through
I sit with my paintbrush trembling
Thoughts slowly but surely dismembering
One stroke could ruin my beautiful work
Doubt sets in my process
Not much more, but I can’t evision success
But I will take it
I slide the brush across the canvas
My blood has a whole lot of black in it
My skin has a whole lot of black in it
My kin has a whole lot of black in em
No darkness in this blackness
Just beauty, spirit and love
My Kings are this color
My Queens are this color
My wings are this color
Located up above
You can't **** us
Immortal we are
Our words, our art, our treasures will
live

Our pride will live on
What a ride we've been on
The ties to our Homeland have been gone
Cut from the neck, we still cling to life
A King’s right
I am my own antithesis
A villain and hero of sorts
I made my mark
I signed up for this
I've lost much
It still hurts
I live this hell
My love disappears often
I've washed familiar blood from these hands
I've spilled tainted blood on the land*
Tainted?
I've never had an interest in politics
I didn't sign up for this
I've lost as well
I live this hell
My blood has been spilled
My love is somewhere there
I can't forget but I forgive
Spinning heads, whispered “dead”
That place won't find me again
Nurses violent, thoughts are silent
That place won't find me again
Snapping necks, repulsive ***
That place won't find me again
I beg your pardon?
No I'm better now
But not because of that place.
Pepper spray, hoses spray
That place is oppressive
How can you help me if you're sick too?
How can you cure my mind with that needle?
Your organization is *****, every dose is lethal
But it's such a shame your pills don't work
Swallowing has gotten me far
My words, my pride, please clear your mind
Sit down, unwind, as I tell you the story of how I lost mine
Catch me in the clouds fighting my demons.
My sword slices nice and easy.
I marvel at the sweet nectar that leaks from my enemies.
No man nor woman is better at harming me than me. Such is life I suppose.
You and me.  One in the same.
We're alot alike you know, soft and maybe a little too nice.

Don't compare me to you.
I know where that's gotten me, time will tell where it'll get you.
Pain suits me well, I take it in stride and bounce back like a rubberband. You spin around and yield to your vices.
Now that we've separated, I see it.
You're nothing like me brother, and you never will be.

— The End —