New people see my darkness
They get so intrigued
As if I’m something exquisite
Not to be believed
I don’t romanticize it
It brings me to my knees
But I do embrace it
Maybe my darkness is the most interesting thing about me
I think I feel like I exist.

Always the calm to everybody’s storm
All of a sudden they can rest like never before
Rarely is it my turn.
I take it all on
I don’t even mean to sometimes
I’m naturally empathic
It’s hard when I already feel too much
With new people It’s always anxiety x 2
For once, I want to be the storm that needs calming

In those moments that we shared
you were nothing
yet you were everywhere
Pulsating in between the lines
In the static of my life
you were mine and the world was right
_love no more

crippling anxiety 
running in circles
thoughts overflowing
fragments
what is this pull
i must ignore
can’t succumb 
cravings
depth and understanding
out of this world 
true communication
levels
what is, cannot be 
have to find control
don’t want to let go
facts

Your stomach in knots
A relentless force
Consumed with these thoughts
That keep on playing over
You sway back and forth
Your face it contorts
Interpret obscene
Oblivious I seem
It never will end
Look at who I am
I have no more pride
I ditched my ride
I'm useless
It happened so quick
It makes me feel sick
A sheer heart attack
I guess I got my wish

I am awakened with a sensation going through my body

Paralyzed

I can’t move

It’s on me

Clawing at me

Finally I catch a moment

I turn and I yelp

I scream

No one hears me

I’m twisting in the blanket

Something’s watching me

223am my phone vibrates

I wasn’t actually awake

Now I feel this sensation of something all over me

I keep trying to brush it off
Itch it away
My skin is literally crawling.
I know I’m awake for real this time

Night terrors haunt me

When will I learn
Every time I let myself show
I think that’s what they want
But no
Intrigued by me, yet still just used for the night
A connection, so deep, you’re just like me!
I guess they read me, so ******* easily
Cause it happens again and again
And everyone has something to say
The I told yous and audacity, thrown my way
I wish I could stop finding the good in the worst people
How do you unlearn what you’ve done your whole life