Eyes full of wonder and amusement,
Heart of gold and love,
Lips of mystery and romance,
Ears as good as an owl or elephant,
Deep consuming desire I have for thee,
You are the piece of my heart that I never knew I had,
When I'm with you mountains seem like hills,
And the rivers feel like oceans,
You are truer than a loyal knight to a king,
You're more smart than any other human being in the universe,
You are perfect in every sense of the word,
When I see you my heart beats faster than the speed of sound.

People want me to explain my reasoning for having a cynical view of life, I don't need to, it's my life, it's my truths to believe in. You got your lie's that you say is truth same as me, life is a mystery that has no meaning. Hate is just a product of eating a apple off some tree that shouldn't have been there. Yes I know free will and all, that's all great and all, but I hate the pain I feel when I go down the road of sin. Why do I keep going in circles, every step forward is three steps back, feel like a stupid mistake; nothing more demeaning. What is right, what is wrong, who determines that, am I the only one that thinks that this society is whack. I stray from all of that, separating myself from fake rap, because I have decided not affiliate with that crap.Slipping through the cracks, trying so hard to keep breathing, because I want to make a change but every time i try it feels like i'm stepping on tacks. Belief is our only hope, that's so depressing, what is the lesson that need's addressing, what to do when it's my turn to go to bat. Life is a journey, the world is a disease, we live in a false reality, but what is reality? How did we become so water-downed, how did we become so uncultured when it comes to not offending others. We just forgot how to say how we feel, and when we do say what's on our mind, it's determined as savagery. Closing our shutters to emotions, trapped in our caskets, we are dead that's why the amount of people committing suicide is sky rocketing in the numbers.

Falling from the reaches of the stars, never knowing how far it goes, through endless space, alone without you.When I'm with you I am as warm as the sun, when I am with you I become a stronger without fear. Through whatever life throws at us, I know we can face it head on, me and you together through thick and thin. With you I am whole, I have something in my life that I look forward to seeing and being with! With you! Me & you! Together till the end! Becoming like distant stars roaming throughout the solar system, as long as I'm with you I know things will be good!

They say I've been holding back, they can say all that they want man, I don't care, nor do I listen to that smack! *****, I'm so versatile, writing versus to wake you up from your own denial. You can compile a list of **** to present to the trial, dial 911, I don't care, it's not like I’m holding a gun; p.s when did this get so personal? I go above and beyond, I show love and forgiveness even to those that treated me like I didn't belong. Life is a ******* marathon; it's so easy to just give up because sometimes running towards that perfect life is like trying to find a leprechaun. I am just a black swan in a world full of white swans, and I’ve tried moving on, I’ve tried staying strong, but yet I still don't belong. Just an outlaw, trying to piece back my life together like it was a jigsaw. It just feels like I’m trying balance on some seesaw, just trying to balance all this **** while trying not to drive my self into the wall. Till my heart stops, till the beat drops, till the clock no longer tick tocks. Till the end, till I can no longer pretend, till I leave this state of mind and start to transcend.

Acrimonious precocious emotionless people only focused on their brokenness. Torn families and friends, **** won't happen by osmosis, sorry for my profanity, but if you could see through my lens you would realize that things aren't fully hopeless. Some people today are so boneless, now is a time to focus and notice our true wholeness. Burn out that closet, make a deposit in you, stop being so modest, go out and just treat yourself. Get back to business, stop fretting and slacking off, drinking out your sorrows with that Guinness. Can I get a witness? Shut the **** up fool, I definitely know what I’m talking about and my name sure as hell ain't Willis! A lot of yawl thinking you homeless; when you are actually blessed with living in this land of richness. I don't need 60 minutes to convince you that it's actually a good thing that you exist. Till my heart stops, till the beat drops, till the clock no longer tick tocks. Till the end, till I can no longer pretend, till I leave this state of mind and start to transcend.

War within my soul, war within my thoughts, war within how I should act,look or talk. This is the battleground, this is the battle with heaven and hell, where will I be when the world rings it's final bell. Don't know what to do, God you said to leave it all to you, didn't you. Mind you I strayed away from that, I wanted instantaneous fun, but now it's time for war, but I'm not ready for combat. I never expected a coup d'etat, I never expected to have to defend my way I live, to busy enjoying the high life as an aristocrat. War with everyone, war with no one beside me, pushed away everyone for what I thought was gold; but it turned out to be poison ivy. How I got to this point, how I never noticed what I had, everything loses value just like this life i've been living was a temporary fad. Now I'm mad, but what can I do, moment after moment slipping away from what was true. I talked about how society corrupts, and yeah it corrupted me, so much so that when I look in the mirror, I don't recognize the person in front of me. I hate the devil, but it turned out that I was getting tricked by him, am I to late to change because at this moment my fate seems grim.

I am tough, but am gentle, I am a giant, I am kind. I'm never on the offence, I'm always on the defensive, people always trying to go after me. They think because I am a giant that I must be angry or mean or tough, but I am not. I am tough but not in a rough way, why can't people accept that, they think me a monster, but they are the true monsters. I am me, I can't change that, one day I hope people can accept me for me, but for now I go from place to place travelling;helping those in need. I am like a human giving tree, I am there when you need a friend.

One of my greatest strengths and weaknesses,
Is loyalty.
I give exceedingly,
With all my heart.
And it breaks my heart when it isn’t recognized.
I love giving gifts even if I don’t have the money for it.
I love to lend my stuff because if they can enjoy it as well,
All the better.
I have a a strong passion,
With dreams and visions.
I’m starving to show you what I can do.
Even when I got nothing to prove.
Maybe I’m just proving it to myself,
When the lies of the devil starts like a tape recorder.

My biggest struggle is saying no,
Because I don’t want to let people down.
For I’ve been let down too many times.
I hate creating healthy boundaries,
Because it’s uncomfortable.
To upset someone you respect.
I hate to leave a toxic environment.
Because I’m a ride or die.
Even if I’m bleeding internally,
From all the verbal and physical abuse.
I convince myself it’s my fault.
Or too just **** it up.
Or that it’s just normal.
So, I quite my inner screams.
And fake a smile.
Because all my life society,
Has told me my voice doesn’t matter.
All my life I’ve been either treated as invisible or an inconvenience.
Just a savage that needs to get over it.
Even when the graves of 215 children are found at residential schools.
It’s gets justified.
But if I don’t stand up and say no more,
Who will?
I may be loyal to a fault,
But my heart can only be broken so much.
Till I find my power,
That was always there, and finally speak up!

Step by step, breath by breath, I climb closer to death. Taking a pounding by life day by day, waking up and downing down another pill or drink because though it shiny outside, all I see is grey. Questioning life, questioning myself, hell I even question God, I know the drill, time for me to take another hit by the world's rod. How I wish to turn to sod, how I wish to just jump in front of the road. I don't complain, I just say the facts, can I get hit by a plane, or hide myself in between the cracks? Suicidal tendencies, I thought I was done with thee, and no I'm not telling you this for some kind of sympathy. I'm just being real, unleashed pandora's seal, feelings are harder for me to conceal. Unleashing my inner hulk, it's takes everything to keep on hoping instead of just sitting their and continue to sulk. Every day is a constant struggle, every day I keep having on to jump over these stupid hurdles. Caught in the rain, caught up in my pain, so many times I just wanted to put a bullet through my brains. Fire, Earth, Air and Rain, how can I manage these elements, how do I keep myself sane? Head says I'm a failure, it says I'm unworthy, that I'm a traitor, that I don't deserve mercy. On the picket fence, always playing defence, trying to figure out how to make this world make sense. Getting caught up in what I hate, feels like i'm starting to rot, is this just fate? Do what I say, not what I do, which way should I choose, if I am blind how do I fix my view? Am I to die this way? Am I to stay this way? How can one live if they're are starting to decay? How do I not go array, how do I know you won't leave me astray. How do I stay classy? How can I escape this shadowy valley? Writing out what my heart is saying, but my mind set is stuck  and constantly swaying. Should I do this, should I do that, how can I attain bliss and never again hit the mat? Life isn't perfect, it takes awhile to even garner any person's respect. Life is what is what you make it, you either leave it or take it. Angels and demons, how do i remain faithful when I constantly do things that makes me no better than a heathen? These are the things I think about, I know one day I may finally get a touchdown. I'm resilient, don't worry I know that I'll hold out, you can try to punch me out, but you will never take me out!

Got out my wu tang sword shing, so ring that bell ding ding. Taking out giants with only a pebble and a sling, for I'm not scarred to face anyone even if they are a rap god or king. This is the future of class, for as long as I'm here hip hop will never lose it's nitro gas. Rapping down in the underground because that's where all the lost souls can be found. Yeah every day I get better, and I be writing bars that are even more deep and clever. Still in a apartment but one day I'll own a large settlement. One with the elements so does that make me a avatar, but I must be prepared for the worlds final war. For the beginning must always have an end, but it'll be easier if I got some friends. Sorry but what can I say, for everyone will eventually met their final day.

It's a good thing that I'm a spiritual lyrical satirical miracle, so call me egotistical I don't care because I want to be something more than a minut particle. I don't understand why people are so desperate to be artificial, because age and material things are so superficial. It's official I may be the only one who is original. I want to be more than a one hit wonder, but if I do then I guess I'll go on a spirit walk and learn to be a hunter. But I'm still broken and lost, and I'm hoping that I overcome before my heart turn cold like frost. Yeah but for now I'm trying to find where my life is because I feel so lifeless, and I'm trying to have a moment that is priceless. Isn't that priceless but **** it I lost track of my purpose and I'm done feeling worthless. Yeah and I don't want to miss out on the important things, like meeting the right woman and finding her the perfect ring.

But my demons have caught up to me, so it's up for me to get myself free. Am I ready for that, because I've been in darkness so long that it has become my habitat. I'm such a hypocrite because I go to church on Sunday, then I steal something on Monday, **** in an artifact on Wednesday, eat till I throw up on Thursday, swear at God on Friday, ******* on Saturday, and then ask for forgiveness again on Sunday. Need to break free, need to see that if I don't move past this there won't be much life left for me. Day after day, night after night, can't stay so I guess I got to fight. One step forward, one step back, got to continue going forward and try not to slack. Have you ever wondered what it would be to not be? Have you ever wanted to see what others can't see? Well I tell ya, it's a gift but it feels like hell brah. Had visions, had dreams, had a six sense, and the things I've seen would make some scream. Seeing the end of humanity, seeing relatives I've never met, man some people call that insanity. I've seen demons, I've seen angels, and can't remember if I read this **** in the parables. Maybe I'm just overwhelmed, or maybe I'm just being condemned. Maybe I never got over playing pretend, or maybe God did not intend to create me and if he did then maybe he should've chose someone else instead. Struggling with these voices in my head, and I'm an adult now but I still feel as fragile as a little kid. Maybe I should go off the grid, because what's the point if my whole life has already been decided.Yeah and just sitting beside myself because I can't even recognize myself. Stuck in stagnation, **** maybe it's time I take a vacation to get away from all this frustration. Need to get my life right, because I'm so stressed that I can't even sleep at night. Just need to pull myself together because I know eventually it will get better. I accept I'm not a saint but I refuse to be bait, and I will take measures to make sure that my heart doesn't fill with hate.(38)

I used to know a boy who was happy,
I’ve seen a heart broken, and innocence forsaken
I’ve tried to sail the sea’s,
But wasn’t ready to face the kraken.

I used to know a boy who was gentle.
I’ve seen anger take over, leaving everything in his path broken.
I’ve tried to be Qui-Gon,
But ended up like Anakin.

I used to know a boy who was thoughtful.
I’ve seen insecurity slowly destroy him, and jealousy consume him.
I’ve tried to blast off into space,
But wasn’t prepared to defend myself against aliens.

Oh, I used to know,
Oh, I used to know,
I used to know how to laugh.
I used to know how to cry.
Oh, I used to know,
Oh, I used to know.

Going 2 steps forward.
Just to go 2 steps back.
Going in circles,
Longing for a straight path.
A never ending cycle,
A never ending story.
I used to want to get older,
But now I wish I could stay younger.

When I used to know.
Oh, when I used to know.
How to laugh, and to cry.
The more I move forward,
The harder it is to say goodbye.
To who I was before all of this.
To who I was before I got stuck in this mess.
Oh, when I used to think.
When I used to think.
Life was the best.
But know I’m in checkmate,
Never knowing I was in a game of chess.

Watchful gaze, beautiful display, playful curiosity is this love game, got me lost like I'm in a maze. Twisting and turning, got that yearning, don't tease me girl with those mind games that got my heart a burning. Dangerous eyes, boy do I feel alive, love is in the air, got me swimming in the sky. Nothing distasteful, how could I ever become hateful with someone so loveable. Got the love fever, got me chasing ******, but once I got you, I promise that I will never leave yah. This is no phase, got to be careful; love can be as fragile as a vase. Powerful and independent, making boys cower, while men reserve to become your life resident. Not here to take control, I just want to help you steer life's wheel. I'm in it for partnership.

I'm in it for an eternal friendship, because that what makes a really strong healthy relationship. You are everything to me, how can you continue to be able to handle me. I really don't know, but I do know that you turned my stone heart to snow. One and only, won me over, don't need no four leaf clover, because being with you is like living in the land of Disney. Rely on me to be there for thee, you don't ever have to try to buy my loyalty. For this is just chemistry, can't deny it either, it's just elementary. You and me, truth and honesty, never have to lie to thee. As the world spins round, we stay bound together even after were buried into the ground.

Soul redeemer of this lowly dreamer, you have my back, and I got yours, it doesn't need to be Valentines Day for me to buy you some flowers. Forever and always till the end, whatever the endeavor, you know a hand we will lend. More than friends, no matter the bends or rough patches, our love stays strong and won't ever end. As I lay beside you with my head on your heart, I don't regret anything; yeah I will never want to have a restart. Everyday is an adventure, and as we venture forward our love will never be tainted, for our love is pure.

Oh life so confusing, and this crazed mind of mine can't seem to take it anymore, why can't things be like how they were going so long ago. Moving through these steps to make it back to I once was, on my feet ready to take on the world again. Fate can try to take me out but I won't let it, I am the master of my own destiny.  I started from the bottom, time to make my way to the top, alone with my thoughts to create history. Classy J  is the name time to claim fame for me and for no one else, this my life, time to make the most of this ****.  Misery and depression still trying to seep into my soul but I have bigger things to keep my eye on, because I deserve my prize. It's time to take my life back, that society has taken away, it's time to take off my mask and be me.

Hard way
Do things the hard way so they got out torture devices and untested injections because of my anti-establishment choices. But **** it I’m ready bring on each course, for I’m strong with the force. Brain already gone, and can’t lie I get Cobain thoughts every time I see a gun. The hard way for that’s the only way I live by, so bring it on ***** yeah I’m ready to roll that die. Game of chance, and it’s also a game that sometimes requires doing a little dance. Threats from all directions but what is a bluff and what is serious, for this be the tightrope we all walk along hoping to God we keep our fearlessness. Cold War mindset, with fingers ready to press the button if only we had hindsight. That it’ll hurt us both but **** it for its all a **** measuring contest yeah who needs Gods wrath. We’ll burn ourselves nicely without his input, but we don’t care for we to busy focusing on our consumerist products. Soon we will become a third world nation, but lately we haven’t been able to find common senses’ location. Blinded by a divide between us and them, for we are right and they’re the problem. Minority’s vs whites, nation vs nation, and gender roles man and it all turns into ugly fights. Plus we use religion as a justification to why we are right, but I think those who do that have lost their sight. You say I’m off my rocker, but I ain’t no smoker, or do midnight poker, nor am I some joker. I’m stuck in the middle of you, play both sides that it will turn your brown eye blue. Do things the hard way dude, and I don’t need to do collabs or a crew.  I do things the hard way for I started with nada but i used my natural magic gift for there no such things as gene’s or cosmo and Wanda.  Do things the hard way by writing bars that can make one say **** and it don’t even need to be Friday. Do things the hard way like my shots, double jacks, prairie fires, *****, and scotch. Classy j molding these bars as if they were clay, and I’d be down to doing the 5 fingers of death so somebody call up sway. Got no manager but I manage it alright here, for I do things the hard way and the day of achieving my dream is becoming more near. So bring it on show me what you got, for one day all eyes will be on me just like pac.

Falling from the reaches of the stars,
Never knowing how far it goes.Through endless space, alone without you,When I am with you I am as warm as the sun.When I am with you I become a stronger person without fear, Through whatever life throws at us, I know we can face it head on.Me and you together through thick and thin, With you I am whole, I have something in my life that I look forward to seeing and being with! With you! Me & U! Together till the end! Becoming like distant stars roaming throughout the solar system, as long as I'm with you I know things will be good.

You haven't forsaken me in the dessert, you haven't left me down to drown. Now I know your always with me, even in my wildest doubts. Through the fires and the flames, through those storms that almost blew me away. You were there for me, when everyone had gone away leaving me astray. You never left my side, and as much as I didn't want to by your side sometimes, you still stayed with me. God your my rock your my salvation, your the healer in the drought. Now I know your always with me even in my wildest doubts. Jesus your my salvation in which I give it all to you lord. I am no one, yet you treat me like I'm a someone that matters, you're grace I don't deserve or afford. You're love is everlasting, you created the moon's and the stars, to many to even count. Now I know your always with me, even in my wildest doubts. Your a healer to the sick, and compassionate to the widows, even to the homeless guy without a pillow.  You keep us warm with you're love, God you're so powerful and strong, our power compared to yours is like a tiny armadillo.

open your eyes
Truth confided in lie's and conspiracies, trust is earned not taken, falsity in idealism, so much drama to fill an ocean. Bound by forces we don't fully understand, feeding into our mediocre society. Getting brainwashed, having this life of our's ****** out by distractions, not looking at what's really going on in our world. Spoiled, entitled, selfish, stubborn,greedy people we have become. What happened to us? What have we become? Who are we really? I don't haven the answers, but just like you I have a lot of questions.

Guns pointed at my head, freedom is dead! Violence happening everywhere, clouds of despair form over my head. World's collide into each other, got an addiction to lie's instead of looking at the facts. Fade to black, our brains have been hacked, they've been cracked, the dreams and goals we once had, we won't get back. Left to fill out our worthless life's with monotonous crap, can we take a nap, because becoming alice wasn't in my job description.  Mad people wearing hats, cats that disappear, white rabbits, I thought fairytales were fiction? Yet here I am, so high, I think i'm peter pan, free falling and flying in this messed up land. Inception is all I know, am I even awake at all, because ever thing used to look so amazing like Niagara falls, but now everything stings, it's like my eyes are full of sand. Has the world finally lost it, or have I?

RIZN is a place to be to chill out,
its a place for those to find what their asking questions about.
RIZN is a place to be to hang out,
its a place for those to talk and shout.
RIZN is a place to know about the Saviour,
man if you don't agree to that,
you better change your behaviour.
HE forgave you from your sins,
now you got God's favour.
RIZN is a place to meet new people,
now you are a whole new sequel.
RIZN is a place to dance and sing,
to let the whole world know that you love the King.
RIZN is a place to play games,
its a place to read about people like Matthew, Mark, Luke, James.
RIZN is a place to learn from the experience of the leaders,
its a place to be ok with yourself everytime you look in the mirror,
without worrying about someone calling you a queerer,
RIZN is a place to tell others about your life story,
to one day be baptized in the main church for God's glory,
RIZN is a place to glow in the dark,
so it leaves you with a fun and impressing mark,
RIZN is a place were you can express your good opinion,
not make you into some zombie minion
RIZN is a place to expand your horizon to new views,
so your not some story in the breaking news.
Unlike

I was so high, with no worries in sight, dreaming of being up in the clouds. I have fallen so far, I hate to fall, it hurts, I don't know why I even live. I want to be better, but my mind gets caught up in blinding fog. Down the rabbit hole, drifting away the waters like a dead log. I know you're there when I fall, and with you're help I may rise. You carry me when I'm injured, I deserve to be tossed into the flames but by your grace I am saved. By your grace and mercy I am healed, I grow stronger day by day, to be with you in the clouds one day.

Night brings fright to my delight, where angels and demons fight. While wanderers search for hope, while addicts learn to cope. Soon night takes over, soon death may attack, soon rich become beggars that lack. While Ill thoughts may circle in one's mind, compulsion takes over and what may transpire cannot be unwounded. Walking down dark paths, searching for reasons to live, having the faintest hope that you have an answer to give. What is worse wanting to die or behind dead inside, either way their is no light inside to keep staying bonafide. To be or to not is the question that leaves some so distraught. Desperate times, desperate measures, doesn't matter if your an idiot or if you're clever. Wanting to let go of the lever, wondering if life will ever get better. Isolating and severing off from friends and family, is dangerous because then the story usually ends in tragedy. Suicidal tendencies, depression seeps in, wanting to give in to these darkly whims. Stuck with grim desires, wanting to just give up and set the world on fire. Just mortals longing to be invincible, if only we knew that others think that we are pretty incredible. We long to be free, but we don't know how to be free, we have lost touch with who we used to be. No longer recognize the persons in the mirror, wondering if you'll ever see clearer again, which is one of our greatest fears. To death do I part, from who I was from the start? Walking with Ill thoughts with strange intentions, I think I know why people say I need an intervention.  Walking without a purpose, that night I wanted to end it all because I felt worthless. Night destroys the once firm foundation I once stood on, good thing there were still people in my life that I could lean on. To death do I part I don't even need others to hurt me because I'm already pretty good at breaking my own heart? Felt like I was slipping away into oblivion, for I was a lost soul that once thought he could control this dominion. Is he a coward to die or a coward for wanting to live life that is what I had to ask myself when I was holding that sharp knife! Would I be in hell, would I be in purgatory, would I be heaven, or will there be nothing which would mean I have wasted my life believing in falsified stories. I've seen to much, I've heard to much, am I normal or am I out touch clinging onto beliefs like a crutch. I was so broken, I was so done, and looking over the horizon for hope like it was the sun. To death do I part, though I have missed the mark so many times because I was in the dark! But now light shines so bright upon me, I was once blind but now I can see. The past is the past; I have to forget about my prequel, so that I can start a new sequel. This concludes my Classy interlude thanks for listening to me, but don't worry I'll be back because you can't **** my rap dynasty. To death I shall part ways from, instead I'll be vacationing in the Caribbean drinking some **** good ***.

Yeah they tried to shut me up, so they put me in a box to die;trying to brainwash me just like every other guy. I just want to be free, to be who I want to be, to bring up real issues that bother me. They say you should always be honest, except when you shouldn't be, a robot programmed to do their bidding, not even being allowed to cry. Well beep boub sorry that doesn't compute, they can try to stop me, but an outlaw never truly dies, fight to the last breath thats how imma be. A renegade for you, they say it doesn't matter what I say but when I say it I get into trouble. Words can be a double edged sword that can **** a person either way, you're ****** if you do, you're ****** if you don't, either way it's still a struggle. It's a grey world out there, nothing seems to want to go your way, and the only way out is when you're buried in a grave where you will eventually rot and decay. When will we see the light of day, when will this war be over, is there a chance for peace? To be free like the birds, to soar over problems that come across our way. I just want to be real eased from these shackles that keeps me from my destiny, to finally fill in the gap of my heart like a puzzle piece. To see generations prosper someday, because of the example we displayed every single day.

The darkness inside all us creeps in
Seeping into our souls darkening it ever so darker
Foul, with rotten stench so intense
How fast it takes hold, how long before it lets go
How long will this torment stop attacking me
How I long for the light which renews my sight
How I long to not have any fright cause I know that with the light I am alright
How long till I have peace, how long will it be till I have rest
But for now I am stuck into the darkness searching for my hope
But for now I am searching for courage
But for now I am searching for the light to bring me to life

Warning!
You’re about to enter the Danger zone!
Danger zone!
Danger zone!
Danger zone!
Danger zone!
Uh, listen I’m about to enter the danger zone.
It’s like wearing a blindfold in a room drenched in chloroform.
This is the danger zone.
Climbing ladders just to be taken down by snakes.
Only overcoming these haphazards because of my faith.
And though I shake,
Though I quiver,
Though I have fits,
And have some treacherous fevers.
I know my God delivers.
From evil and sickness,
Through the thickest of storms,
I know I will overcome,
Because he knew me before I was even born.
And even after,
When I almost died in that ICU,
It’s true.
And Sometimes I struggle but I can hear,
God saying ICU.
It’s true.
There is no danger zone.
When I trust in you.
It’s true.
It’s true, it’s true.
There is no danger zone.
When my faith is steadfast in you.
It’s true.
It’s true, it’s true.
So, now I have to tell people the good news.
That it’s ok to struggle.
Because God’s with you.
And to not worry because He see’s you.
For even when we walk through the valley of the shadow of death , we shall fear no evil or danger,
for God is with us,
He is our rod and our staff, to comfort us.

Needle, wipe, pressure, were losing him. Come on ******. Come back to us. (Monitor beeping then ends). No! Nurse start CPR.  The world needs him even if they don't know it or want it! Welcome to the procedure, Classy J natural born leader, designed for a purpose from the ultimate creator. Don't care about any haters; I love chilling in the swamp with all these alligators. Words are just that, not going to leave me depressed knocked down on the mat. Ready to bat, not going to be trapped, I'll just continue to rap, no matter what, won't let negativity back into my heart. I will not go back to the start, for I am smart, going to make it those top 100 charts. So take me as I am or not, rot or stay fresh, born again man, I am no longer a mess, making sure I save my cash. You can try and diagnose me or try to expose me, but you will never hose me down, leave it all on the tombstone, I will make sure my name will be renowned. Fate by design, I might just see you around, my rap will never be shut down.  This is the Procedure, I am alive like Frankenstein’s creature, hit you like a seizure, not here to tease yer, I here to help you become a dreamer. Don't fear the reaper, for life is just a long detour, so really why care about meaningless things like your demeanor or figure. Shot of morphine, shot of codeine, to forget all your worries, or you deal with it in a hurry. Addictions come in many shapes and sizes; we all fake, putting on masks, running around life like it was derived of infinite mazes. Everyone goes through different stages, addiction can leave you stuck and locked in like your trapped in infinite cages. So crazy how fast age goes, got to keep myself composed, I propose that we don't oppose this life, for it will only leave us sad in the shadows. This is the procedure; I realize that this life needs a cure, try looking in the mirror, for I believe anyone's heart has the ability to again be pure.

The tell me to go out, but I haven't gone off yet, can't bluff but be sure that I will bet. I bet you don't know why I keep going, keep trying, I'm not lying some times it's hard for me to keep on trying. Sighing, looking back while moving forward, I want to be brave, for I hate being a coward. As awkward and random as Howard the duck, running over the rap game like I'm a monster truck. I don't believe in luck, no karma here either, I reference it but take it like a grain of salt, I may have said it because the other night I drank too much liquor. Classy J is here to stay, I will be here until I believe that society is no longer grey. I'm different, setting standards, underdog, native born man I don't care if it takes me forever to become relevant. I used to be just like the revenant a story that claims is true but so much of it was fake, I can't change myself because life isn't that great, and it certainly isn't sweet as cake. At this rate, you might think I just have given up, because I have realized that no matter what I do it is never enough, but ****** be me for not giving up. Heart used to be black, but it a good thing I found some white out, negativity has it's place but it was time for me to get out. I do know that reality and negativity sometimes intertwine with each other, but it's good to keep positive so that you can help others. Middle ground, mental health is sound, what used to be lost can always be remade or found. Twists and turns, gone through flames and came out unscratched or burned. I learned to chill and mature, I used to be diseased by the curse of the world but now I'm cured. Caught up in between, learning what this world means to me, trying to help others see. I thought I was deranged, as people only looked and treated me like I was strange, but I am me, never going to be like everyone else, you will never drain my hp gauge. Interlude's and new beginnings, I now am half way there, revolving doors, some days it may be stormy but I look forward to the days that are clear.

Looking left, right, down but not looking up, no love remains in me, no love from anybody around me. No love, high to low, heart is destroyed and i'm just wondering what i'm supposed to do now. No love, no peace, can't sleep, paid for opening up, it's just another day which i drink down in my red cup. Just a wreck, slit at the neck, yesterday I was great, but today I wondering what the heck? No love, alone, i'm just stuck again, every time I build myself up I seem to fall like rome, and I am not sure if i'll ever find love again.

Most can’t understand me, to be honest I don’t understand me either,
All because I won’t conform to all ya sheepish lizards.
Snaking each other in order to eat all the gizzards.
In a land where everyone is ******* bitter,
Spitting around their toxic chatter.
Last time I checked my business isn’t apart of your matters.
Last time I checked you were not my creator.
Thinking you know better,
Stop it I’m only filled with so much laughter.
To me your advice is like anime filler.
Womp, a womp womp like some Charlie Brown chatter.
And I don’t **** with snakes, I only **** with ladders.
They say Life is a board game that results from domino factors.
But if everything is by chance, then I’m ok with being seen as the mad hatter.
A conspiracy thinker, that goes outside the box to find more and better answers.
Instead of sitting on ones *** like the rest of yawl wankers.
That be crying about the **** I spit, but sorry I don’t make music for ******* toddlers.
If you want family friendly entertainment go watch Mr.Rodgers.
And if you keep acting like a little *****, I’ll have to get you a shock collar.
For most of yawl are second rate bug zappers.
And I am the beyonder.
Your nick miller.
I’m the Undertaker.
Your Rob Schneider.
I’m Christopher Plummer.  
Hook:
Look We ain’t in the same league,
You best believe, don’t **** with my expertise.
Yawl ain’t real, yawl fake as a weave.
I’m the Havarti, your the blue cheese.
You can’t measure up to me.
So back off, with all your pathetic critiques.
And just respect the technique.
Verse 2:
Respect the technique or prepare to take heat.
Smoked out and hung from one’s feet.
Ain’t no way to opt-out as I won’t fall for your deceit.
Do you think I’m fresh from the teet?
For I’m not one you can simply defeat.
Or be blind sided by all your *******.
Why can’t you see?
Why do you lean on Ignorance?
******* around, drugged out, like Charlie sheen.
Why do you fake innocence?
We are all ugly on the inside?
But a lot of yawl ugly on the outside too!
I guess some people can’t escape or hide?
Escape or hide from what is actually true.
Ooohhh!
From what is true.
Hating on my technique.
Hating that unlike you I’m actually unique.
Hating that I have the courage to not be a sheep.
Consuming the feed the media forces into you and me.
Getting us addicted to toxicity, in order to not say a little peep.
Can’t you see we are not actually free?
Can’t you see you’re overdosing on deceit?
If only you weren’t to blind to see.
You might just learn to respect the technique.
Hook:
Look We ain’t in the same league,
You best believe, don’t **** with my expertise.
Yawl ain’t real, yawl fake as a weave.
I’m the Havarti, your the blue cheese.
You can’t measure up to me.
So back off, with all your pathetic critiques.
And just respect the technique.

Done in, evil and I had a run-in, man the devil got me running. Bad turns sad, why does this always happen to this innocent lad. I guess there is just no escape, destruction is imminent, covered up by red tape. Isosceles triangle, if you don't see what I see, you looking at it from the wrong angle. It's true, sorry that I won't be what you all wanted me to be, it's in my nature to wanting to be free. Get out, can't stay in, shut me out all you want, I don't care because I'm leaving. Oh what a difference it is to be out, sorry if it stings like a cut, but I told you before that I wanted out. Thought there was no escape didn't you, but I sought it out and created a coup before you even had a clue. Once locked in literally and metaphorically, had fun with that dance but I'm normal now because of all that psychology. Better run, because now it's your turn to burn, get out the tranquilizer gun, got a lesson to be learned.

I’ve been in the bank rolling in the loonies jack.
I’ve been in the bank, sipping cognac.
I’ve been in the bank, telling all the haters that they wack.
I swear imma give my granny a heart attack.
Sniffing so much crack I don’t remember where I’m at.
But as long my heart in tact.
Imma finna keep making them racks.
Holding up the bank, in a ski mask.
But imma never be in a slump dog.
Going from girl to girl like I’m playing leap frog.
I’m a beast yawl.
Not just in sheets dog.
It’s all good, because after all, everyone wants a taste of success dog.
Just relax and take a puff of fog.
I swear my spirit animal is a pug.
Because we both like to chew up the rug.
And you bet imma keep blowing up them streams like I’m dig dug.
Laughing to the bank, making mills bruh.
My girl looking hella fine with them stills on.
Don’t speak no English because I bought her off of amazon.
She from the amazon.
Looking amazon.
Sitting on my lap like I’m Santa uh!
You know that’s what sup!
Going to bank together rolling in them loonies jack
Going to the bank, sipping cognac.
Telling all the haters that they wack!
While We Avoid stepping on the sidewalk cracks.
As that would break our mommas back. And I don’t want that, which is why I only sniff the crack.

The voices don’t turn off,
When I go to sleep,
Got me hearing them,
Every day of the week.

The voices don’t turn off,
When I go to sleep,
Got me hearing them,
Every day of the week

I personify my trauma,
Cuts on the wrist,
For a wish,
Just a wish,
That I didn’t look like this.
Cuts on the wrist,
For a wish,
Just a wish,
That I no longer felt like this!
Some say I need to stop the drama.
Treating my pain,
Like mathematics,
******* divisible.
Becoming invisible,
With my struggles treated as inhospitable.
Why do I gotta be treated as a criminal?
I’m just trying to speak out,
But yet you think I’m in it for attention.
Shoving pills down my throat,
Thinking that’ll cure the infection!
It’s no wonder that...

The voices don’t turn off,
When I go to sleep,
Got me hearing them,
Every day of the week.

The voices don’t turn off,
When I go to sleep,
Got me hearing them,
Every day of the week

Stuck in a toxic belief pattern,
With cuts on the wrist,
Cuts on the wrist,
Just for a wish,
Just for a wish,
That I didn’t look like this.
Got cuts on the wrist,
Just for a wish,
Just for a wish,
That I no longer felt like this!
Yet people say I chose this!
You think I’d choose this?
You think I’d choose to be beaten?
To be picked on?
You think I’d choose to have,
My father abandon me and my mother?
You think I choose to be abused?
To have teachers saying I’m worthless.
You think I’d choose this!
If you do you’re ******* stupid!
It’s no wonder that...

The voices don’t turn off,
When I go to sleep,
Got me hearing them,
Every day of the week.

The voices don’t turn off,
When I go to sleep,
Got me hearing them,
Every day of the week

what are we to become if nothing at all, what will it feel like to truly fall? to be free from it all, what will be our last call? That last breath, on the verge of going over the edge, into who know's what? For the time is coming upon us, will be ready? The end of the world, the fire and plagues, will we ever be the same. The circle of life stopping, what will happen than. Is life a paradox,or an oxymoron, or is there more to it. Will we make it through it?  these are the questions people have and may never get the answers too, these are the things that even make Steven King shiver.

Rap game is a glass ceiling,
Shucky ducky quack quack,
Lame ***** reeling,
Over oldies and throwbacks.
Imitating vaudevillians,
Because originality has flattened,
Such simpletons,
More useless than pions,
Lacking the accuracy,
Of a destructo-disc thrown by Krillin.
Tacky ducks more quack than Daffy.
Quirky queens more dunce than Daphne.
The mystery is in the ink that separates,
The Shaggy’s from the prodigies.
Could stab a friend in the back,
For snacks like ******.
Not much of a strategy.
It’s like your trying to intentionally,
Upset a Wookie.
Maybe your just tone deaf,
Like Eminem referencing the dougie,
Or make dad jokes more horrific than Chucky.
Get it?
Because chucky is a horror movie?
Why aren’t you laughing?

Rap game is a glass ceiling,
Shucky ducky quack quack,
Lame ***** reeling,
Over oldies and throwbacks.
Ll cool j don’t call it a comeback,
Slavery of the masses,
Taking Prozac,
To combat malpractice,
Depression a felon inside and outside,
Laws becoming lawless and unbalanced,
Innocents committing suicide,
Because the powerful are careless,
These ******* should be embarrassed,
That their privileged ***,
Can fake smiles enough to win Emmy’s
Minds material madness.
Gotta mind your true enemy.
Instead of being consumed by fadness.
Losing ones humanity,
To become the next Ken or Barbie.
But you too bad and boujee,
A hollow shell stuck in comatose,
Consumed by the sea,
Set up to fall like dominos,
Thinking you free,
But can’t see,
As the crows grow,
Bundled in circles,
As your drowning,
In asbestos,
For every pro there are cons that lurk in the shadows.

To old to make much of a difference, To young to understand life's significance. To tired to awaken to my surroundings, To stressed to appreciate everything that is around me. To under appreciated by my colleagues, To determined to become just another person that has succumbed to being melon cully.  To over worked to see my good work, To entitled to enjoy all my perks. To needy for approval, To prideful to go back to faith and get a revival. To many things to do or to say, that I can no longer see that I have lost my way. Too much thoughts seep into my head, am I truly alive or am I just the walking dead.

what if I fall, will I lose it all, could I get back up? What if I crash will I remember who I was, I don't want to fail, I don't want to disappoint those who look up to me. Why can't I be good, why can't I be true. When will I stop faking myself, who am I, if nothing at all. Fear is a terrorizer, that leaves me cold and paranoid. Lost in adversity, travelling down the rabbit hole deeper and deeper. So caught up in technology, so lost in this deceiving society. Need to get back to where I used to be, go back to the real me, back to when I was on fire for the holy king. Yeah I am never truly lost, for what lies in the heart will be found. No matter how far you try to trap it down within yourself. Yeah lost then found, safe and sound, never been better than how I am right now Yeah lost then found, was wounded now I am healed with God's holy power. I am a leader in the army, with his help I will never be taken down. Lost then found, trapped then released by your holy grace, for I may be weak but you are strong.

Pinky ring slingers,
Watch as my brothers get put in slammers,
Watch as my brother’s get hung from swingers.
Every day, every week I hear cries and gospel singers.
Every day, every week I hear gun shots and tweakers.
Trauma runs deep, our community the titanic,
All we get is static from a government,
That watches along as we sink here.
Treating it like collages cause they hearts cold as winter.
Where our cries go in one ear than out the other ear.
If the Statue of Liberty was a person,
They’d probably evict her.
I guess one may say that,
Equity has become as real as flying reindeer.
It’s cute that some think they understand the pain here,
Just because they watched Naruto.
Now, that’s what I call taking a big leap sir!
But the truth is you’ll never understand kiddo.
You may be lost now, but so too was Nemo!
Just gotta accept it like the fact that,
Han first shot at Greedo.

Dealing with the same **** since existence,
But we refuse to fix the broken toilets.
Flushing away the vulnerable.
**** a safety net.

Dealing with the same **** since existence,
But those in power keep their phones on silent.
Letting people fall through the cracks,
Thinking it’s priceless cause in their minds they’re worthless.

Yet ignorant ******* still can’t seem to fathom why we upset!
In fact the buggers uno reverse the subject.
Like they are the true victims,
Cause intersectionality displaces them.
Must really **** to be viewed as the problem?
Get over it darlin!
Tell me more about how it feels to not be pardoned for your skin!
****.
Straight up, Got ‘em.
Got they hands up but still shot em.
Got barely any food to eat, still robbed em.
May have been hit with a rock bottom.
But they still don’t know what it is to hit rock bottom!
So, shut up and **** on my *******.
***** I’m not playing,
***** I’m not joking!

Dealing with the same **** since existence,
But we refuse to fix the broken toilets.
Flushing away the vulnerable.
**** a safety net.

Dealing with the same **** since existence,
But those in power keep their phones on silent.
Letting people fall through the cracks,
Thinking it’s priceless cause in their minds they’re worthless.

Crooked ballerina
Push my buttons, twist my knobs, tear me apart. Not much left in my heart, for my emotions are lost in the abyss.  Little dolly don’t worry it’ll get better. Crooked ballerina don’t worry it’ll feel better. When shall I feel, or is hope just a thimble and needle? Tossing and turning like they want me too. Twirling swirling down the rabbit hole falling into the unknown. Smile or you won’t get diner baby. Slim fit is what is deemed perfection baby. Do it for me for I put my neck out for you. I made you, I can disassemble you to fit my mosaic. Piece by piece turning into an object that is as fake and flimsy as plastic. Come on doll dance for me, come on Barbie sing for me. Bruised and ****** what happened to me? Mirror mirror what have you done to me? Over and over the cycle goes when it stops only the consumerist knows. I remember when I wanted people to play with me,but know I hate when people play around with me. Just a substance to ease the nerves, just a toy to discard to someone else before getting tossed in the trash. Oh innocent young one how long has been? Oh time why are you no longer my friend? Oh little baby why couldn’t your family take care of you better. Cracked and chipped, a burden to some and a opportunity for fiends. Pulled by strings, fake smiles and personality but that’s what sells. Push my buttons, twist my knobs, tear me apart and toss me out cause that’s what you’re good at. Equal gain while others suffer in pain. For that’s how the world works. For we are all just dolls and crooked ballerinas that get cycled through this machine. Fading away slowly, what is it to be human? I don’t know anymore. I don’t know how long I can keep up this fake smile. I don’t know how long I can keep up with each new fad.  Turning round and round all to hold onto the crown. Turning round and round got a pocket full of posies  now we all fall down.

I got a concupiscent for her callipygian.
My cupidity to you to be with me is exceedingly.
I'm a cynosure of love.
You are the antidote of my angst.
Your idyllic but hold a suave like grace.
I'm may be hedonistic but that is human nature.
So give me a chance.
You wont regret it; I promise

Coming out of a comatose,
Running round bout to post,
That bail money, then travel past the coast.
Real survivor like a roach.
And just like a golfer it’s all about my approach.
I like to look at life positively unlike Oscar the grouch.
Got that new whip,
Spreading my message like some cool whip,
And I don’t **** with people who got the case of the loose lips,
For the moment they open up they mouth,
Imma fill it up with a couple of clips.
Bang.
Pop off a shorty in order to keep others in their lanes.
Got to think smart, like General krang.
If you don’t want to end up like Citizen Kane.
Dang.
Don’t want to end up like Citizen Kane.
Dreaming of rose buds, man this ain’t no candy land game.
Wannabe be upstarts snorting their own *******.
It’s such a shame, in fact it’s insane.
Breaking one’s back over the littlest of things.
Don’t you realize that a lot of yawl are no more than petty cliches.
Trying to keep things private, when we live in a public domain.
Truth is in this day and age, we don’t actually own anything.
Yet we feel entitled to everything.
Thinking we are owed something.
Yet we are owed nothing.
Putting on elaborate acts, but life isn’t supposed to be treated like charades.
Trying to act like your an entree, but you don’t realize that means nothing at a buffet.
You only live once, you won’t get no replay.
Thinking your free, when your really in chains.
Thinking your unique, but when you die will anyone actually remember your name?
Name.
Name.
Uh, but **** it!
When I got that new whip,
Spreading my message like some cool whip,
And I don’t **** with people who got the case of the loose lips,
For the moment they open up they mouth,
Imma fill it up with a couple of clips.
Bang.
Pop off a shorty in order to keep others in their lanes.
Got to think smart, like General krang.
If you don’t want to end up like Citizen Kane.
Dang.

I put the sharpen on em,
I hear the choppers coming,
Can’t eraser the past,
Everyone think I’m high off something. (X2)

Catch a vibe, I’m bumping.
Match with left swipe, I’m thirsty!
Oil up the pipe, I’m gushing.
My girl play my trumpet as good as Cindy Bradly.
So you bet imma be going down her pipe, like I’m jump man!
(Mario sound effects)
Popping the cherry off,
Got her yelling mozel tov!
Bringing down her walls, like I’m Gorbachev.
Sensual tingling heat, blasting out like a Molotov.
Fronting like a boss, spending cash mischievously!
Disrupting the masses, by saving music
Obviously.
And a lot be hating, but they just mad that they can’t understand me.
Because my lyrics go over their heads g.
So, I wont apologize for spreading the truth homie!
And I may never win a Grammy,
But I don’t need trophies to prove I’m the greatest g!
For my lyrics be piercing,
Are you listening?
Or do I need to put the sharpen on ya?

I put the sharpen on em,
I hear the choppers coming,
Can’t eraser the past,
Everyone think I’m high off something. (X2)

Catch a vibe, ya tripping!
I’m not in my right mind, I’m slipping.
Pull out the lean, I’m sipping!
Oh, lord please have mercy.
My vision getting blurry.
And If it ever comes back, find out where’s Perry?
I’m immediately regretting this decision, like I’m Ron Burgundy.
Can’t **** my struggles away like Timmy’s fairies.
If only real life could let up,
When I scream parley.
Who knew pirates had better morality than society eh?
Can’t it see I’m just living on a prayer like I’m Bon Jovi?
And just when life starts giving me a push, I get robbed like Kofi.
It only takes 5 seconds for things to go Nagasaki.
If only things could roll off me like I’m Rolie polie Olie.
If only I could hit three pointers as good as Steph curry.
Or be as funny as Bill Murray.
But as long as you fans still support me,
That enough for me.
And if you hate me, I might have to put the sharpen on thee.

I put the sharpen on em,
I hear the choppers coming,
Can’t eraser the past,
Everyone think I’m high off something. (X2)

After school aftermath time to change up our current habitat.
After school rhyming like fools, but **** us ******* if we don't act like tools.
There are times where a person has to forget how to give a ****,
And times where you have to make sure that people understand that life truly *****.
No more morals, I will no longer be loyal, strapping on my aluminum hat made out of tin foil.
Everything is a conspiracy, but no one wants to listen to me; Too bad that they don't see that we live in the matrix, everyone is plugged into a false reality.
Son from Zion, son made of ions, forcing out the machines with my inner midi-chlorian.
Fe-fi-fo-phom goliath you ain't got none son,
All you got is fists and I have a fully automatic tommy gun. Pow pow shot down, all them haters I will shoot down, because to me all you phonies are a bunch of demented clowns.

Yeah, uh.
Hexagon be going in to this beat, so this is not a time to be taking your seats.
After school aftermath I'll be rhyming all the time like a boss,
In this injustice of a land that nails anyone who speaks out about it onto a cross.
For shame son, I won't be a part of you're little game Mon,
After school aftermath our rap team be representing the nation.
So while the rest of you lost souls be stationed in you're incongruently warped minds,
I'll be taking my time writing these real deep filled lines.
Ok hold up for a minute, I promise I let yawl finish, but I don't think any argument you may have against us would be legitimate.
As many of yawl are stuck in a regimented mindset for the government’s benefit.
We be stressing on real deals, we be giving out hope to people to help them deal with their messed up ordeals.
Can you feel the decay of the system we live in?
But there is still time to change it in our favor so we can win.  
After school aftermath time to get out the war drums and the trumpets, this is a time to be chaotic instead of being a dainty mistress like Ms. Muppet.
It’s about time we say **** it!
This is a time for change, this is a time to be strange, and this is a time to write a new page.
This is a time to rearrange our thinking,
Cause our society is like the Titanic because we be sinking.
We are better than this,
And though there may never be bliss,
I will be remised,
If never we really tried to at least take risks.
I believe that we would no longer be slowly sinking in this world that is stinking.

Yo, t-dogg is in the house are guys ready?
Let's go off,
Cause I really want to go off,
It’s time for the blow off,
That’s burns brightly like a Molotov,
To all you haters that are still out there can *******.
It is Mr. Supra HD you bet your ***** me and Classy J are super indeed.
Going straight for the knees,
Got no time for your petty pleas,
This is the after school aftermathso you bet we be running even it’s a 100 decrees,
This is real rap so bet we won’t keep it simple and clean.
Got to roll up them sleeves,
And set sail for sea,  
In a world full of boy toys we refuse to sell out,
End up in jail needing bailouts.  
Classy j and Hexagon and me be the stand outs,
Saving rap because if I’m honest it’s been in a drought.
So, although yawl might treat like Dumbo’s
We hit you with that Konami Code, Wambo Combo!
Going in like Rambo, Never running out ammo,
Stealth **** like the Predator even if you’re wearing Cammo.
Want some advice, don't mess with us, Stay in your lane and avoid the fuss.

Coming into my own,
Branching structures outside my normative zone.
They can’t keep my voice silenced like redbone.
Can’t keep the message fossilized in stone.
We must evolve to heal the traumatized.
From structures intricately connected to harming marginalized lives.
Scars that lie beneath the skin, unseen by naked eyes.
Gotta be like a barbule; gotta connect and empathize.
Like a feather we must modify the process to better serve different functions.
To correct ignorant assumptions.
Which breeds nothing but dysfunction.
One way to do this is by having open, comfortable and safe discussions.

(Chick Corea & Return forever-light as a feather)

“Clear days feel so good and free
So light as a feather can be
Clear days feel so good and free
So light as a feather can be”

Gotta be resilient cause we trauma prone,
Even before foster care we was placed outside our homes.
Stuck within concentration camps or road allowance zones.
A practice so vile I think I’d rather get ******.
With insufficient plates for mouths, so many got buried in graves unknown.
Naive knaves betrayed and still smell of the perpetrators cologne.
Colonists were Terminators that tried to vanquish more than just John Connor.
But every hero needs an antagonist and our people won’t simply Timber.
We bounce back like Rubber, yawl can’t keep us in the gutter.
No matter how low it gets we’ll float above it like a feather.
Resilient despite the weather.
Resilient despite the pressure.

(Chick Corea & Return forever-light as a feather)

“Clear days feel so good and free
So light as a feather can be
Clear days feel so good and free
So light as a feather can be”

Things aren't making sense, seeing demons raking out people brains, final bell rings , I feel like the kid from the 6th sense. Sorry if I seem tense, I'm kind of jumpy lately, wanting to leap over the other fence,because my hope is running on empty. End times, what the hell literally, why didn't we see the signs? Probably because we were blinded by the devils trickery. Verily I pray for thee, God please help me, I'm trembling, oh my is this the end for us? Weird tidings, strange sounds, engulfed in this now,  while depression is pulling me down closer to the ground.

Going in cashing the check, releasing my breath cause I know soon I'll be outta debt.  So many regrets, with so many effected by my mindset. I'm sorry i'm not a pastor, i'm sorry that I am not a positive rapper, I'm sorry for not factoring in your feelings and pretending like it didn't even matter. I wish I could just pay my out, I wish I could just figure out what i'm all about. Am I for or against the people? Am I helping those in need or am I too busy to high up on my steeple? Am I truly a class act? Am I truly spitting the honest hitting facts? Questioning my self, hating myself, wanting a purpose and a happy future for myself. Has the dollar become my God? Has the scholar become a corrupt facade? So focused on making the dough, spending that dough, banging another ***, smocking that blow, putting on a show, but haven't really grown. Wow! Realizing that the money doesn't really matter/ Realizing that I am not my own master. For when I'm slipping I find myself leaning up against Jacob's ladder. I don't deserve forgiveness, I deserve the hammer,  I deserve to live in disaster. But by grace I have not been splattered, but by grace I have not been shattered! I don't know why? For I am not worth anything like an ant or a fly. At least that's what I convince myself of, for the voice in my head tells me that I'll never enter the pearly gates above. It tells me i should just give up, It tells me to just shut up. It reinforces the notions of people who hate me, It deflates me, It takes me down a valley of death and says that no one will help me. I know my future will be bright and that for right now I have to rome throughout the night. But it's alright as long as I don't lose sight. I know the world is crumbling apart for it is a result of our own misguided choices, I know it's because others have believed their own deceiving voices. It's not a matter of faith, or race, or gender but by our own selfish flesh. We are like an old virus filled computer, we just need to be fixed and modified and refreshed.

Look at that fig tree, bittery, bittery.
Branching over to the evergreen, evergreen.
What is meant for me?
What is meant for thee?

Wanting everything that comes my way!
But I just don’t have enough hands to carry all these things!
Materials, Materials I long for stuff to keep me happy.
But nothing will ever taste as good as the fruit off that fig tree.
Bittery, ever so bittery!

Maybe it was all just a fable.
Or like riddles about cat’s and cradles.
Father fruit was also so biter to me.

Rotting flesh, pungent taste sours and reflects my feelings.
Wrinkle in time turns fresh vibrant fruit into dust.
One by one we all fall!

Falling like that once fresh fruit that plopped on the ground.
Turning dark and deathly from offence.
Unresolved hate that constantly puts us on the defense.

Till all the stress bursts like a valve from our hearts.
Lying in a pool of blood all alone.
Looking up once again at that fig tree.
Realizing I’m really looking at me.
If only I wasn’t so bitter over what was done to me!

Codes bode mechanical roles,
On human souls,
A road that promised rainbows,
And virtues that once showed,
A flow of dough,
That made social control,
More comfortable.
That was until,
Everything fell all to hell.
One by one like dominoes.
Poor little dolls.
Trying for survival.
Yet for yrs yawl been in denial.
So, forgive me if I,
Don’t care about tears from a crocodile.
That transformed beautiful lands,
To wastelands.
That set up rules that put vatos in jail.
Without fair trials.
As the poor become corpse piles.
A vile stench trails.
But will never be inhaled.
By those who prevail.
A statement that is like a nail.
Being put into a coffin.
Isn’t humanity something?
Instead of reflection,
Or reconciliation.
History becomes like young padawans,
Facing off against Anakin.
Where truth becomes fairytales,
From once upon.
A time where superior specimens.
Overcame the savage ones.

Wondering what hill I’ll die on,
Will I end up in hell or in Zion?
Sometimes I feel like a who,
Only heard by Horton.
And I ain’t talking about Tim.
For my people’s lands,
Have been invaded by zim.
Yet we are the ones treated as aliens.
And unlike like a roll up the rim.
There is no please play again.
****.
Never trust a clown,
Especially if they wear a crown,
Why stick with milk,
When you could have the cow.
Why share the land,
When you could steal the oil.
Set the hen house on fire,
And watch as things go afowl.
Wondering who’s next,
Better ask the owl.
As they can see the evil in the eel,
That try to distract people,
With their promises and ideals.
But actually bring woe.
They say you reap what you sow,
So, be careful what you grow.
For bitterness is like a poison pill.
That spoils our fill.
Teach a white man to fish,
And for generations blood will spill.
As a sour sorrow echoes through the ville.
But is quickly dismissed.
That makes one wish,
Our voices could be taken as serious as,
A siege on Capitol Hill.

Tears in the rain.
Some soaked in joy.
Some soaked in pain.
Tears the symbol of existence.
No use resisting.
Whatever the situation.
Tears are what makes us human.
Some see it as weakness.
Some see it as courageous.
An experience unlike any other.
Whether it be fear.
Whether it be spite.
If it gives one the will to fight.
Then let it rain.
In every way let it rain.
Don’t be a slave to your shame.
With life, must there be death standing right beside?
War?
Hatred?
Rage?
If tears heal.
Why can’t we survive?
If tears heal.
Then why do I always feel so torn up inside?
Hiding these tears.
In the rain.
Hiding my pain.
Am I insane?
To feel these things?
Am I insane?
To feel this sting?
The thing that distinguishes me and you as human.
My flesh can be so weak.
Things can go from bright to bleak.
Pretty quick.
Am I sick?
For crying in this rain?
Am I sick?
If these tears never go away?
For what it’s worth.
Like a movie.
We must see it through.
When the reaper comes for you.
Don’t be afraid.
Reach out your hand.
For time will eventually stop for all of man.
When memories fade.
And your tears of rain,
Become wisps of sand.
From dirt we started.
And to dirt we end.

Sleeping in a **** soaked mattress,
With sounds of gunshots,
That keep me up late.
Got me all depressed,
Wondering if I’m next to be popped in the chest.
But the question is…
Will it be by my own people?
Or by the cops?
Gang mentality is my ******* reality,
Every day comes with a new tragedy.
In slums called reservations,
Wishing I wasn’t Cree.
For all I see is starvation.
And my family,
The ones that are supposed to protect me.
Are out drinking.
Leaving me and siblings scrambling,
Looking for scraps in dumpsters.
And than at night we hide from monsters.
That try to sneak in our beds,
Having their way till our eyes bleed red.
Praying to God, that I’d drop dead.

Growing up on the Rez,
Where you can’t even trust your own friends.
Growing up in trauma,
Because society tried to have us cleansed.

Growing up on the Rez,
Unable to get ahead,
Growing up in trauma,
Confined and ensnared.

Some months I wonder where my parents went?
Probably on another ******.
Or maybe in they in jail or some AA centre.
Trying their hardest to forget.
Being ***** by nuns, priests, and teachers.
Maybe that explains my dads hot temper.
And starts to lose control a becomes an abuser.
Slamming my brothers and sisters, against  some phony happy family pictures.
And there’s no use going to hospital centres.
Cause they’d rather let you die, than help some prairie ******.
And maybe all this abuse,
Got me all confused, whether I like Peter’s or Beavers.
Which than leads to wondering,
If I’ve been cursed by the Creator.
Wondering when he’s going drop a crater,
On a this savage sinner.
And if that’s the case,
For my last dinner.
I’ll take some real genuine love, that can break the chains of being bitter.

Growing up on the Rez,
Where you can’t even trust your own friends.
Growing up in trauma,
Because society tried to have us cleansed.

Growing up on the Rez,
Unable to get ahead,
Growing up in trauma,
Confined and ensnared.

Masked enigma.
Villain or foe.
Personality like a Deus ex machina,
Yet the crowd cheers for more.

Human turned into tin.
Who knew popularity could be so grim?
Longing years to be here now,
But as they say heavy is the head that wears the crown.

Regrets linger.
Things left unsaid.
Grabbing a device with his fingers.
Pop goes the weasel along with the trigger.