Verse 1

Yeah, they say blood’s thicker than water, yet my past still lingers,
I was raised by the struggle, with pain turning into anger.
Mama busted her *** with no man in the picture,
Just echoes in the hallway, dreams turned to nightmares.

How do I guide when I ain’t seen the path?
How do I build when I don’t know how to craft?
I learned with my fists, I learned from the church, I learned how to mask because I struggled with my self worth!

The streets don’t teach cats how to cradle, best believe I was never given no silver spoon.
Felt so insecure and isolated like a little man on the moon.
Guess I’ll learn how to be a man from television and cartoons.
Trauma runs deep, where self harm gets covered up with make-up or turned into tattoos.
Just cover it up, man up, don’t you cry dude.
Don’t recognize the man in the mirror anymore; a beauty distorted by invisible war wounds.
Praying one day to break the cycle, hoping one day hope will shine through’

(Hook)
I’m scared of the man I gotta be,
When the man I never knew is haunting me.
How do provide comfort and laughter,
When I feel like a curse, linked with disaster?

(Verse 2)
Growing up I used to tell others my dad was a failed magician.
Cause he disappeared from my life and hasn’t reappeared again.
But all jokes aside; I promised myself that I’d never end like him!
But fear whispers lies, man, especially when I keep falling short again and again.
I sincerely try my best, but I swear my trauma be always lurking when I’m in remission.
Then attacks me unexpectedly like the Spanish Inquisition!

I wanna teach my son more than lessons of survival,
Show him love’s real, not just a myth or some half assed recital.
How do I teach him, when growing up I never had a male role model?
Feels like an uphill battle, man, it feels so ******* suicidal.
Quick somebody beam out of here; where the **** is Heimdall?  

(Hook)
I’m scared of the man I gotta be,
When the man I never knew is haunting me.
How do provide comfort and laughter,
When I feel like a curse, linked with disaster

(Bridge)
But maybe fear’s a teacher, lessons in disguise,
Maybe my son’s laughter can drown out these cries.
I’ll learn lullabies I never heard as a boy,
Find power in weakness, turn sorrow to joy.

(Verse 3)
So I tighten my fist, not for war, but for holding,
And let go of the past, the anger, unfolding.
Tell my child their loved, let them know that they’re seen,
Break the chain I wore, start a new routine.

I may stumble and fall, but I’ll keep trying.
‘Cause their smile’s worth more than all the world’s diamonds!
At least I know how a father shouldn’t be,
so from there all it takes is some rewiring!

(Hook)
I’m scared of the man I gotta be,
But I’m learning, son, for you, endlessly.
Turning pages of peace and laughter,
Writing a new verse, my love is your chapter.

(Outro)
Yeah, to all my brothers caught up in the same strife,
We can be more than pain, we can make more of this life.
Let’s show them that love’s a skill we can learn,
And in their loving eyes, our own demons will start to burn.

Drag my name through the mud.
Make fun of me cause of my belief in God.
Discriminate and profile me; make excuses saying don’t blame you it’s just your job.
Just because I wear a hoodie doesn’t mean I’m going to rob!
It’s alright though I’m used to it!

Mock my culture, mispronounce my name; keep me silent, keep me chained!
Hate me for my political views, get angered over facts and call for me to be hanged!
Overgeneralize my identity like I’m the one to blame.
Call me cynical because I believe society is a rigged game!
It’s alright though I’m used to it!

Call me *****, call me ***, make fun of my long hair; call me a **** for having braids!
Call me savage, call me ******, belittle me to make yourself feel bigger.
It’s alright though, I’m used to it?

That’s the real question, should I?
Should I be alright with it?
Should I simply get over it?
Should I just man up and continue to push it down?
I am not your entertainment, I am not your clown.
I am a human that just so happens to be brown.
I will idle no more!

She got the where with all,
Which is good cause,
I’m in withdrawal.

The laws of attraction,
Can cause some tension,
When she is in love with me,
But I’m in love with intoxication.

Don’t know how it happened?
Mind over matter,
Until I’m met with Jacob’s ladder,
As the room spun, and my eyes blackened.

A darkness unlike any depression,
A bleakness likened to my inner weakness.
That reminds me,
Of a boy trapped inside a man’s body.
A boy who never grew up,
Like those in neverland.
A boy who wanted desperately to fly away,
Like Peter Pan.

These repressed memories,
That are usually drowned,
By the sounds of toxic dependence.
Are now rushing into the door,
Of my heart.
That I try my best to keep shut.
From the monsters that like to tear off.
Pieces of me, like I’m some injured animal.
That hardened me to the world,
That to me was a cannibal.
That eats innocents like me alive.
With no answers as to why?

So, than why should I remain sober?
Instead of continuing to be numb?
Aren’t we all pretenders?
Under the thumbs,
Of sweet surrender?

A surrender from our true selves.
Everyone is an actor,
In show and tell.
Wanting to be in the centre,
Of the spotlight.
Instead of the lingering,
In the shadows of hell.

Which got me wondering?
What demon your hiding from?
And what concoction you use,
To keep it at bay?

Verse 1:
Somebody call the coroner, I done murdered this ***** and governor.
Three some gone wrong, better take a shot and have another beer!
Talk about groping and coping mixed with some codeine; I’m paranoid and full of fear.
Should’ve seen it coming, was bullied and teased by the world who only ever saw me as being weird.
So I **** to fill the void, cause it used to hit me like morphine; but now that intoxication has ******* disappeared.
**** got me annoyed! Got me scratching at the floor boards; like the devil’s here!
Fifty shades of grey, go get the toys, what’s that squeaking sound? Dear governor?
(Halloween tense noise)
Aww.. why’d ya have to go in there?

Hook:
Like a ghoul in the shadows, like a fiend on the loose, there’s a monster outside, better go get the noose!
I’m a ghoul on mission, so best hide your momma and her scrumptious caboose!

Verse 2:
Got a taste of the dark side, blood in my gin.
Soul decomposing, but I’ll still put it in.
I’m fiend in the night, I’m giving in to my sin,
Hush now already, it’s all right to give in!
(Crunch of an apple sound and screams)
I’m dying just to taste it, my appetite is wicked, eating souls to survive, ain’t got nothing to conflict with!
Some dimwits call me sadistic, but pain is where I thrive; so it don’t matter if yawl plead the fifth.
It’s a struggle to survive in a world where homelessness is treated a myth.
I just might be psychotic but the governments the real sith!
Just take a look at them CIA files man, that ***** real sick.
But if ya expose too much, you’ll end up dead real quick!
Guess I’m not only ghoul in the shadows lurking with them silencers that go.. click; click!

Hook:
Like a ghoul in the shadows, like a fiend on the loose, there’s a monster outside, better go get the noose!
I’m a ghoul on mission, so best hide your momma and her scrumptious caboose!

Verse 1:

Walk in with a rebel strut, hearts more darkened than a nurtured mutt.
Glass shattering like Steve Austin, don’t what me man; unless ya want a swift kick to the gut.
What can I say I’m a stone cold punk;
Not some flower smelling hippy monk.
Even though I can’t lie, when I was young and dumb I used to take a hit of the skunk.
Thinking I was a gangster or a don, heavy head wears the crown, till ya up and gunned.
Or Hanged by your own golden chains, fame is a messy blood bed, where many succumb.
Poisoned by the very crown they longed for; till they forget where the **** they came from!
Where everyone fights to the death for some ******* crumbs!
Perhaps we truly are slaves? Perhaps we truly are nothing more than bottom feeding ****?
****.

Hook:
****, Best turn up the volume, let the world replay.
Can’t silence the truth *****! No, nuh uh, not today!
Even if they try to blacklist my name, just like magic I dunk through the static and reinvigorate the game.
So, even if critics chirp or ya get your feelings hurt, I’ll be sitting back with my millions not feeling a thang!
What can I say? I keep **** simple and plain!

Verse 2:
Got to watch where ya sneeze,
Might just alert some companies,
To ones whereabouts;
Next thing ya know ya get your documents seized.
It’s not even Sunday service yet but here ya are down on your knees.
Down on your luck, down for the three.
Gotta watch how ya speak, might just trigger the beast.
Shadows never cease, yet unable to be paid with one’s pleas.
I guess it’s true that demons aren’t concerned in the least.
Iron echoes in rounds,
Hearts pound, boots thud with resounding sound.
A rhythm which attracts the hounds.
Like a woke **** when ya mispronounce their pronouns.

Hook:
****, Best turn up the volume, let the world replay.
Can’t silence the truth *****! No, nuh uh, not today!
Even if they try to blacklist my name, just like magic I dunk through the static and reinvigorate the game.
So, even if critics chirp or ya get your feelings hurt, I’ll be sitting back with my millions not feeling a thang!
What can I say? I keep **** simple and plain!

(Verse 1)

Once upon a time, living in streets full of crime.
Got economy turning Oppenheim, poisoning the community with hopes filled with turpentine.
Got many coping to make a dime instead of snorting some lines.
***** so taxing it be giving me some wrinkled lines.

Watch as others front with them gold chains danglin’, ignorant to fact that most of populace be dangling.
Some by the rope, some by the ledge, at each throats, even got some finagling for they bread!
Perhaps that’s why everyone today be so crusty, wishing they were dead.
Everyone starts out a dreamer till reality shoots em dead.
To the facts that society never really cared.
****.
They say shared pain links stories;
I say scars harden tissue, everyone wants the glory, till the fame up and guts you!
So, best learn to stay humble and go find yourself a loyal crew.
Cause when absolute power corrupts, there ain’t **** you can do!

(Chorus)
I’m the goon with many tales, got style so divine,
Silk shirt shinin’ as I sip upon that wine.
Walk with a bop, see them haters fall in line,
Legends never rest, the crown will soon be mine.

(Verse 2)

Homelessness on the curb, as many stroll with ease,
In them Tailor-made suits; ya you bet they got that lapel crease.
They say karma is a ***** that plays *****;
So better watch your ******* knees.
Praying for forgiveness, but not even God’s going to hear ya pleas!
Got to help your fellow man to cure the disease.
There’s a reason for law and order man;
Like can you imagine if we just did what we pleased?

Every life eventually stops, but the clock stays ticking without prevail.
Reflecting on them schemes pulled off; to the nights spent in jail.
Best believe I never snitched, ***** I rather burn in hell!
Gotta kept that honor tight, otherwise the vultures start to swell.
While the weak cower & fold, I stand up with confidence knowing I will prevail!
I’m the goon with class, movin’ at my own pace.

(Chorus)
I’m the goon with many tales, got style so divine,
Silk shirt shinin’ as I sip that wine.
Walk with a bop, seem them haters fall in line,
Legends never rest, the crown will soon be mine.

(Bridge)
Now the lessons I’ve learned, they don’t come cheap,
From the flashy nights to the secrets I keep.
Respect over fear, but I’ll lay it down swift,
Eyes sharp as blades, and my word’s my gift.

(Outro)
So remember the swag, the story, the game,
The goon who one day will stroll down the hall of fame.
Be careful not to brag, stay humble, stay sane;
Reach for the moon, don’t let no one or nothing keep ya tamed!

Got a mind like a fortress, thoughts garrisoned within.

Philosopher's stone flow, chosen one turning frowns to grins.

Masked like zorro, but I ain’t playing pretend.

Do you see the faux pas dear dora? Or is this too hard to comprehend?

The only gadget I use is my mic and my pen, so don’t test me;

I'm batshit with the counterstrike built right in.

So, Better stop to smell the flora, before ya taste lead.

Gotta have that intuition masked with an Aphrodite ready to burst like an unloaded grenade pin.

That’s what happens when ya suppress sin.

And they say that ya couldn’t weaponize one’s kids!

****.

Corporate reject leaving pirated feedback of a mumbling degenerate.
Like a Ryan Seacrest to one’s Johnny English, gotta always double-check your prejudice.
The economy is in a deficit that ***** us over more than Jimmy’s speech impediment.
Hard not to be a pessimist when ya get cucked over by the government.
Inflate the autonomy till it impeaches God's Ten Commandments.
Freedom of speech, till the speech comes from a place of malicious intent.
Haunted spirits, left unchecked, hijack the morals of even our best mates.
After all, there is a thin line between love and hate.
Don’t forget, you gotta always respect the deck and protect your neck!

This world’s so twisted, got us drowning within the system.
Till we ain’t got no more immune system.
Like we some unvaccinated children.
Falling short from reaching the Sun.
Ending up a master of none.

Don’t underestimate the ants unless ya want to end up like Kite.
Reap what you cultivate, just ask France about their revolution plight.
Everyone wants a slice of cake, however there ain’t enough rafts in sight.
That turns desperation into chicken fights.
Commercialized violence, enjoyed by those that worship the anti-Christ.
But get away with it cause everyone has a price.
Just ask the million dollar man, or hell ask his son who committed a million dollar scam.
Oh, ****, folly sure weighs heavily, unless ya rich enough; in that case you just get a slap on the hand.
Golly G, certainly, stress breeds grey hairs almost on demand.
So, instead of going all Claude van dam one better;
calm down with some collard greens, after all there’s better ways to cope my man!
Just remember kid to always respect the deck and protect ya neck for…

This world’s so twisted, got us drowning within the system.
Till we ain’t got no more immune system.
Like we some unvaccinated children.
Falling short from reaching the Sun.
Ending up a master of none.

Sunflower seed spits, gun for hire, Vibe with Corey shades, knowing he full of secrets.
Ignite the cowards that run for Mother,
Another prideful story, gone astray like Icarus.
That leaves a sour taste in our mouths like some black licorice.
Gunpowder sure exceeds the promise, none the wiser, distracted by ripened glory days;
Of Self-absorbed anointed hubris.
Recite the honours of made-up powers,
Another greedful story, gone astray like Faro Argyus.
Starseed over, I need just one more beer, so make haste, 'cause I can't go without the liquorish.
Yes, this is such a fine ***-hour for a dumbfounded minor wasted into a plastered blurry haze.
Another gluttonous story, gone astray like my dear friend Marcus.

Perhaps this as far as we gets.
Stuck in a lapse; gazing over the white picket fence.
But grass ain't always greener.
For without perspective suckers stay dense.
& get jipped by the cleaners.

Reap the bonfire or heed humility dear son,
Gotta watch out for your own ship or get piled into your own ****.
Brutal truth hits the deepest, calling out the spades of a man-child gone amiss.
Never grateful of the things he gets.
A jealousness that stems from a deep seated emptiness.
Another envious story, gone astray like Sir Topas.
**** Maslow and his needs, I’d rather stay ignorant, never fitting in like a real life misfit.
Stuck in a Mid life crisis, just another midnight with another mistress undressed.
**** consequences and the interest, never pay the piper, let plan B be my witness.
Just another lustful story, gone astray like Kitty Bennett from Pride and prejudice.
Stoke the fire, burn down buildings and towers, remember the fallen, but there ain’t no Batman in our darkest hour.
Just a bunch of chaotic jokers that have decision making powers, ready to go nuclear.
So better say your prayers cause life just ain’t fair.
Another wrathful story, gone astray like…

(Sirens sounds and sounds of bombs going off interrupting my sentence, basically inferring that I was about to say ‘like us.’ But it was too late to say so. Also I didn’t mention sloth purposefully, the idea being I was too lazy to do so.)

Gotta watch for these two-tongued slippery snakes.
The devil presents Prada, underlying his scorched hate.
Stringing fools along like Geppetto, as he be chillingly sipping tea;
For such is his devilish trait.
That turns our once great heroes into pedos; such is the till of the tape.
The type of **** that truly sits with me.
Wondering if being a celebrity is all its cracked up to be.
When I see humans repeating our dark histories.
Such Insane Albert E’s that be getting ahead of their civil liberties.
Pushing the envelope more than baby oil at one of diddy’s parties.
Juxtaposing phrases like hoping everyone comes clean.
For it doesn't take a black light to see the double mean.
**** is disgusting, but such is humanity.

Hold up just a minute as I am spitting this philosophy.
Before you get brain rot and have a lobotomy.
Take a break, have a Kit Kat, or do whatever you need to do to maintain this mise-en-scene.
Mmm… Food and all that, if you know what I mean!

Growing up from generations bastardized,
Growing up trying to cope with these ******* eyes.
How can I grow? Tell me how can I grow?
They say you reap what you sow.
My family has wept, broken and bruised intoxicated by the white man's wheat.
A fire water that still burns to this day.
You can see it everywhere the homeless sleep & the vultures creep.
Such is the state of decay.
That spreads like the disease of a small box blanket.

Face without personality.
Blank as Eternity.
The only creativity comes from other sources.
Devoid of rationality; only follows what others say and do.  
Offended over the truth, so instead denies it.
Makes me wonder if A.I. has truly taken over?

Hands clasped buried beneath the rubble.
Love has run cold.
Faces flushed with dried tears.
Flags burned to match everything else.
Cries muffled by bombs and gunshots.

These are dark days Indeed.
Perhaps death is the only time we are truly free.
Free from the pain inflicted by those so insane.
Everyone is either starved of food or from humanity.
War sure is a terrible thing

The dissolution of the mind,
Bodies burning, left behind.
All may be human,
But none are kind!
Such sickness, we’re wicked.
Taste the apathy of the afflicted.
Such terror, we’re all addicted.
Taste the melancholy, of the anointed.
The degradation of our kind,
Beds are burning, we’ve lost our minds.
All may be human,
But none are kind!

But we don’t want to hear it,
Even though we can all ******* feel it.
Seeping through our spines.
Bodies burdened with hallowed eyes.
Blinded from staring too long at the sky!
Thinking God will tell us why?
But we don’t want to hear it,
Even though we can all ******* feel it.

The decomposition of morality,
Bombs are ticking, forsaking the gospel.
All may be human,
But none are kind!
Such hypocrisy, we’re wicked.
Taste the poison of uniformity.
Such vanity, yet we’re all afflicted.
Taste the irony of neutrality.
The degeneration of our sanity.
Right is wrong, woe our blasphemy.
All may be human,
But none are kind!

But we don’t want to hear it,
Even though we can all ******* feel it.
Seeping through our spines.
Bodies burdened with hallowed eyes.
Blinded from staring too long at the sky!
Thinking God will tell us why?
But we don’t want to hear it,
Even though we can all ******* feel it.

The flask was built to crack.
We can’t unlight the match.
When War is on our backs.
Many are too blind & many won't last.
Silenced by cruel jokes;
Built to mask.
Built to distract.
Until we wallow within the decay.
That we have made.
Such a shame, such a shame!

The garish skies echoes in wallows.
The varnish was tarnished & stripped;
Like a spear in a hip.
The blood combined with tears;
Humanity sure is a hard pill to swallow.

The Torch is dimmed;
A reflection of our souls….
So, numbed!
By the freedom of fools.
Too busy staring at the sun.
Come along with me,
Into the black hole!
We were built to be controlled.
We were built to succumb.
Until we wallow within the decay.
That we have made.
Such a shame, such a shame!

The garish skies echoes in wallows.
The varnish was tarnished & stripped;
Like a spear in a hip.
The blood combined with tears;
Humanity sure is a hard pill to swallow.

Trauma reverberates inside Mommy's stomach.
Sadness, depression, suicide ingrained;
All of it invisible to the public.
Never been a fan of soap opera’s cause in my life all I've seen is drama.
Shutting down everytime I hear a yell, you can tell by the way my eyes dilate.
Sometimes I struggle to find the strength.
When all the ones I've loved have died as of late.
Tell you that I'm fine, after all whats another lie?
Must be all these night terrors I've been having, that got me literally lying awake!
They say practice makes perfect, that's the till of the tape.
But at least I can say, I understand whats eating Gilberts grapes.
Cause its eating away at me too.
Tangled up in the web of trauma, that I can't fully undo.
Get over it? Huh, wish it was that easy for me as it is for you dude!

Trauma reverberates inside mommy’s stomach.
Abandoned, broken, deemed insane;
All of it invisible to the public.
But for her its just another day as a single momma.
Isolating many times even away from family.
Which caused some to be irrate, forgetting that she just endured a tragedy.
Sometimes she struggled to find the strength.
To make enough money, sometimes she even went hungry.
To make sure that food went in her son’s tummy.
Swearing that nothings better than instant noodles, mac and cheese or soups all so chunky.
Tell everyone that she’s fine, after all whats another lie?
That will be forgiven after church on Sunday.
They say practice makes perfect, that's the till of the tape.
At least I grew up knowing that I wasn't a mistake.
Yet there are still some aches I can't seem to break.
Which got me wondering what will it take?
To get through these birthing pains?

Let me tell you a story.
A story of hurt, pain and eventual healing.

Once upon a time, there was a boy as joyous as could be.
A boy once described as a gentle giant.
Who had big dreams and aspirations for the future.
A boy happy and proud of being their authentic self.
Was taught about the importance of culture and the sacrifices of his ancestors.
Was taught the truth about our shared history; a truth that would soon be undermined, rejected and punished.
Where innocence died and his colour became villainized.
The day he  first went outside his house.
The day that pride and happiness shattered and reality became tattered.
The day his heart became bruised and battered.
Where the gentle giant became an angry monster like the Incredible Hulk.
Except for the part where he felt anything but incredible.
Humans sure can be cruel.
Illusions of difference kept up by oppressive rules.
And those unable to see beyond it, truly are the biggest fools.
Blind truly lead the blind, for real.
Some call it cynical, some call it political, yet many ignore the pain it yield’s.
But unlike bread for many like this boy it’s hard to rise.
Hard to overcome all the factors that keep many sidelined.
Left to pretend everything’s fine.
When it’s obviously not.
Healing is hard; it takes time.
Especially when many of your friends die.
Believing in the lie’s.
Who’s to blame?
Perhaps everyone is.
Which got many like the little boy wondering?
Are we monsters by choice or by circumstance?
Perhaps both?
Perhaps neither?
All I know is many are hurting.
All I know is people are crying.
Which makes the little boy wonder?
How many tears are enough to create change?
How many deaths does it take to create change?
All the boy knows is he’s alive and has overcame.
All he knows is that it took years to heal, and understand that he isn’t insane.
Or some monster that needs to be tamed.
He knows that he may be indigenous, but he’s human all the same.
And he hopes he can help others like him someday.

I started out the bottom, unlike that ****** drake.
I never seen a biracial rapper try so hard not even logic can take that cake.
Bro got merked by Pusha, then got merked by Kendrick; that ain’t even up to no debate.
Call that a double homicide, but there ain’t gonna be no roses for some jail bate!
Man, Chat gpt working more overtime than your efforts to increase the populations birth rate.
Got R Kelly jr over here; hold up, wait… where’s the police?
Perhaps them goofy goobers can’t handle the heat?
Of them, 81’s grovelling beneath a CP’s feet.
****, I’d never thought I’d see the day when gangs went against their own beliefs.
Money over everything, corrupting everybody from thugs to priests.
But at least it’s got everyone distracted, keeping their eyes off the Middle East.
Tell when I start telling lies? Only then will I take a seat!
Pa pa pa pow, rest in peace!
Pa pa pa pow, rest in peace!
**** this ****!
Bring the lyricism back; I ain’t here to make no twerking songs.
You best know Classy J grew up on that real ****, like those Shady, Biggie and Tupac songs!
I don’t have beef with ya unless you're Drake or the Diddler; we’ll probably get along.
This is usually the part I’d tell them to **** my ****.
But I know the thought of it would get them perverts salivating like some dog.
Ra, ra, ra ruff, ruff! Am I wrong?
Ra, ra, Ra, ruff, ruff! I ain't wrong!
Okay, okay, okay, for real, though.
I ain't claim to be no hero!
I ain't no villain either; I'm more like Malcolm, man; I'm something in the middle!
And these rhymes help me stay in remission,
So, that I always keep **** level.
For real, I gotta keep working to block out the lies of the devil!
Which was formed by trauma since I was very little.
Even before that, the pain was literally ingrained in my people's genomes!
A legacy of death that will take a couple of generations to heal.
Yet some still believe that it ain't no big deal or if it was even real.
The fact is, humanities ****, and we’ll eventually clog our own wheel.
Tell when I start telling lies? Only then will I take a seat!
This is my classy interlude *****; class is in session; take a seat!

I swear we all stuck in the matrix, just like we Truman.
Have to break free of these shackles and delusions.
That fail us harder than our ******* institutions.
Guess it’s easier being woke than getting off one’s *** and finding some real ******* solutions!
I swear somedays our stupidity be giving me a ******* concussion.
That got me wondering…
How is that pain evolves faster than us humans?
Maybe cause we treat the pain better than we do ourselves!
Call that unaddressed internal prosecution.
That leaves us more fragile than gazelles.
The corpse cannot be hidden any longer brother; we gotta address the smell.
Even a Smurf could tell!
That this **** be grosser than the unwashed ***** of Gargamel.
Yuck! 🤢 🤮
But man you think that’s bad?
Just wait till you see through the corruption!
After all humans are the biggest natural destruction.
Ever since the introduction of the Industrial Revolution.
That gave many philosophers like Karl Marx contusions.
But at least we got Dragon Ball and super saiyan fusions!
Too bad the earth will eventually crash and burn from all of our pollution.
But **** it that’s a problem for the next generation!
You know what I’m saying?

Re-Greta D’ohberg, better watch out for that iceberg!
The pressure is palpable man.
It’s got me wondering how much longer?
Till we sink here!

We live in a society where facts take a back seat to feelings,
Cause every body wanna be a victim.
Beating on the same drum, just hook line then sink em.
Stopping any discussion that surrounds em.
Leaving em power hungry and fiending.
Till one is hooked and addicted, spoon fed **** that’s misleading.
There ain’t a part meant for people like me in the system.
What’s right is wrong, so one gotta burn down churches as part of their healing.
More like part of their fearing; which is all part of a larger symptom.
Which got everyone acting like they syndrome.
Now pardon these lyrics.
Gotta compartmentalize the formula that makes things clearer to see; like windex.
Just like pudding needs to be pre-mixed.
There must always be a pre-text and a witness.
Gotta listen close, to truly feel this!

Running outta time,
Running out of excuses.
It's the bottom of the ninth.
So, I really can't miss this!
Guess I found my spine.
Promise I’ll do whatever to maintain it!
I know I risked it all.
And I should've taken six.
As I really ****** up,
Cause I know that you're really ******!
Sleeping all alone, without you at home,
Left to wallow & reminisce.

I keep, I keep, running… running…

I keep, I keep, running… running…

Like a hamster in a wheel.

Overthinking, overthinking…

Till my head implodes.

Running outta time,
Running outta patience,
Think I lost my mind,
Got caught up in a spaceship.
I tell you that I’m fine,
But we both know that is some *******.
Guess I told a lie.
Is it too late to truly fix this?
When I told you, that you were mine.
Yet got caught up with some scant tricks.
I know I crossed that line.
When I decided to plug into that matrix.
Convinced myself that I needed to escape this.
Cause I Couldn’t see what I had until it was too late and I lost it!
****.

I keep, I keep, running… running…

I keep, I keep, running… running…

Like a hamster in a wheel.

Overthinking, overthinking…

Till my head implodes.

Look baby I just gots to know.
That you feels like you’se gots to go.
Cause **** ain't optimal,
What can I say?
***** I lost control.
Wait hold the phone.
Forgive the tone.
I'm just emotional.
And I want you home.
Just thought that you should know.
That I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that's as far as my words can go.
Best believe ***** personal.
Cause I hurt more than just your trust; I hurt your soul.
Soul…. Soul…. Soul.

Soon all will fade into nothingness.
Come what may.
In all its elegance.

Embrace the void.
Like a Consumer establishment.
Fate is something one cannot avoid.
For Nothing happens by accident.
I Hope we can re-try this life once again.

Nothing lasts forever.
At least that’s what we are told.
Well thought out intentions;
Can Create later consequences for both young and old.

Soon all will fade into nothingness.
Come what may.
In all its elegance.

Tick tock, down goes the hand of hate.
Till the serpent eats its tail again.
Perhaps selfishness is innate?
To some extent…
Do we deserve to try this once again?
However…

Nothing lasts forever.
At least that’s what we are told.
Well thought out intentions;
Can Create later consequences for both young and old.

Soon all will fade into nothingness.
Come what may.
In all its elegance.

Feels like I’m on the brink,
Every time I open up my pie hole.
Will I live to see another cinco de mayo?
Hold up gotta let that **** sink.
Before it numbs out cause of the wine-o.
That liquid courage, that helps me nab some fine **’s.
I’m fine though, I swear I don’t need no shrink!
Knowing **** well I’ll end up either in jail, rehab or like Amy Winehouse.
And I know it’s a miracle I lived this long, cause trust me bud I had my doubts.
Gotta **** around to find out.
Reality sure ain’t no Mickey Mouse clubhouse.
(Insert mickey voice and gun fire)
Ain’t sleep a wink in a minute.
Got One eye open playing paw patrol.
Looking out for the monsters ink cause I ain’t complicit.
I’m Just a paranoid guy spacing out to rock and roll.
Eating bats and other **** deemed explicit.
As if the Prince of darkness has taken over my soul.
Riling up the media to distract the dimwits.
From the Illuminati, if you know you know.
But as they say one gotta be careful if one spills it.
Cause you’ll Get suicided like Epstein in a hot minute!

Say am I freaking,
Say am I tweaking?
Watch as I’ve weakened,
Watch as I’ve taken.
It all.

Say I’m mistaken,
Say are you Satan?
Watch as your breaking,
Watch as you’ve taken,
It all.

Let it burn, let it burn.

Mouths of heathens, feeds the birds.
Disease it spreads, sown by herds.
Lap it up, consume the rot, till it’s all a blur.
Beauty parades and deters.
From cruelty and massacres.
It’s not your concern, it’s not your concern.
Just continue to inhale the toxins;
Till it’s all a blur.

Say am I freaking,
Say am I tweaking?
Watch as I’ve weakened,
Watch as I’ve taken,
It all.

Say I’m mistaken,
Say are you Satan?
Watch as your breaking,
Watch as you’ve taken,
It all.

Dance within the fires, become my corpse.
Give in to desire, feed the mouth that barks.
Forget about conviction, till the world restarts.

Let it burn, let it burn.

Dancing with wolves, starved of humanity.
Go grab the stones, such sheepish mentality
Forget what’s right and wrong, embrace irrationality.

Say am I freaking,
Say am I tweaking?
Watch as I’ve weakened,
Watch as I’ve taken.
It all.

Say I’m mistaken,
Say are you Satan?
Watch as your breaking,
Watch as you’ve taken,
It all.

Let it burn, let it burn.
Till the wheel stops to turn.

Scratch the records, the needles yearn.
Arms to match, must wait your turn.
Scrapped for cash, in need for cure.
As the Poison wells and starts to stir. Beauty’d beast, blackened rose.
Let the maggot feast, it won’t quell the hole.
From cruelty to massacres, and stories never told.
Got to justify the onslaught, that’s how it goes.
All Housed like a cemetery, row by row.
Not knowing anyone, that how it goes.

Let it burn, let it burn.
Till the wheel stops to turn.
Let it burn, let it burn.
Till the wheel stops to turn.

The blood runs cold as them police files.
Society watches along as we are ***** &
defiled.
The tears seep deeply as the wounds left unhealed.
Crimes unpunished and concealed.
They fear us as savages.
While we fear for our lives.
We are fraught with disadvantages.
But they still refuse to hear our cries.
Our screams, our pleas.
To not be treated differently.
Left to be Buried…
In unmarked graves just like our ancestors.
Leaving the survivors without any closure.
Perhaps we haven’t changed at all?

Would you believe?
What I’ve seen, what I’ve seen!
What do you need?
To believe, to believe?

From living on welfare to living fairly well.
Grew up in church like kapowski,
Guess we were both saved by the bell.
I can guarantee there’s a God compadre,
cause I’ve been through hell.
But I refuse to drag my *** on the pavement,
Even if that **** does sell.
Cause imma true rebel,
And only time will tell.
If I succeed of fail.
So, You see, pray tell, I hope you listen closely, listen well.
Gotta keep one’s intents not stuck on your pretence.
I relent that fact that **** can get intense in an instance.
Enough to make one dive in a pool filled with incense.
Offend the masses with insensitivity,
Yet Treating it like a **** trapped within tents.
No place to run when incensed, at least until one pays them in cents.
Cause that makes sense, doesn’t it?
At least to the insensible next generations,
That needs to be carried like a decimal.
But is that truly justice at all?
Uh..

Would you believe?
What I’ve seen, what I’ve seen!
What do you need?
To believe, to believe?

They tell me to be quiet, bruh I don’t buy it.
They call me a savage, yet I’m not the one who’s violent.
So, I’m not about to dial it down for you clowns that grow silent.
When I reveal the truth once denied and paid off with benevolent funds.
Which loaded the bullets for tiny Tim’s gun.
Cause we’re only good when we’re gone!
I am second to none, go ahead buy my merch.
Than Get told off for wearing a cap in the church, must be capping, cause they ain’t humble enough to get off their perch.
God don’t care about appearances, he cares for the hurt, so before you judge us at least do your research!
Uh…
I ain’t a republican, a democrat, or a conspiracy theorist.
I simply don’t trust politicians, aristocrats, or  cbc journalists.
I trust in the alpha and omega, the OG purist.
That’s why I support Israel and not barbaric Hamas terrorists!
Yes sir!

Would you believe?
What I’ve seen, what I’ve seen!
What do you need?
To believe, to believe?

My inner child traumatized; been defiled,
Felt stuck, cause I couldn’t recognize the patterns.
Like A sinner man left to fantasize in the wild.
Hard to chin up, while being ostracized and told I don’t matter.
Yet I still climbed that corporate ladder with a fake it to make it smile.
Cause I knew I was built for greatness.
Like a game of blackjack, it took till 21,
When I felt like life wasn’t such a bust.
But as they say, to be fine tuned requires maintenance.
And for me Poetry was an arrow I learned to aim with and deconstruct.
So, Shout out to fresh ie and Lecrae for getting me out that darkness!
That basement I was chained in,
Lusting, over-eating and gamed in.
Cause I didn’t know how to cope with all the demons I got cursed with.
Passed on by ancestors that got whipped.
Got enslaved which ingrained into the mind set.
Taught to hate our people and ourselves,
But only now do we work to rewind it.
And though I may be two generations from it,
They say it’ll take 5 more to truly heal from it.
Thing is this goes way beyond one’s culture or the colour of our skin.
It goes back to our sin, it goes back to when we thought we knew what was best;
So we went and broke Gods coven.
But don’t feel down, nor fear the end, for God will give us strength and help us not give in!

Cause we was built for this! Built for this!
No weapon formed against us;
Could ever make us quit! Never make us quit!
Cause brother we was built for this! Built for this!

Sliding, huff and puff, just minding;
My own, getting high ain’t nothing;
Till it’s something, like momma when she see me mumbling off.
Under the tongue, thinking I’m sly enough.
Till I meets them ***** cuffs, that smack down, **** gets rough.
But I ain’t no hufflepuff, i’m a man, and my experiences helped me understand.
How to work them cards in my hand.
Gotta to fake it to you make kid,
In other words this **** is a scam.
Gotta avoid the beats that turns into the heat of the man.
Yeah that, Red and blue that’ll turn you black and blue;
Cause they don’t hold back unlike your old mam.
And prison ain’t no better, get tagged, then leave with a gun and lives in your hand.
But by then will ya even give a ****?
Uh!
Like the window to my soul, step back and watch me juxtapose.
Got break through this pane, the shackles left, raw and exposed.
Cause I Couldn’t cut it any closer if I chose.
Just Reaping what I sowed, as the reapers coming close.
I will never show, I will never slow, when I come face to face with my foes!
Cause Being Steadfast is all I know!

Steady hustlings all I know.
It’s all I know, it’s all I know.
Making something outta nothing;
Man that’s how I roll, that’s how I roll.
Real recognize real that’s how it goes!

Ride or die, steady hustlings all I know.
It’s all I know, it’s all know.
Making something outta nothing;
Man that’s how I roll, that’s how I roll.
Real recognize real that’s how it goes!

Quick stepping, hold the breath in.
Nesquick bunny am I hoping or hopping?
Amongst these land mines that means certain death.
Just one wrong step, what do I have left?

Positive Change is trauma unlearning,
Gotta be the role model I was always yearning.
Cause I know what it’s like when my canoe was sinking.
Vicarious victim drinking with sharks,
Was never the best at swimming.
Or confronting my problems,
For awhile I was sitting.
For awhile I was drowning.
At the back of the bus with the rest of the goblins.
Until I stood my ground like Rosa Parks,
Straight spitting.
Speaking truth even if I’m portrayed as the **** villain!
After all, I’m used to it cause I’m a **** ***** Indian!
A savage in need of sterilization.
Today we just call it cancelation.
Cause snowflakes both left and right can’t handle a native with education.
No wonder we are so underfunded cause they don’t want restoration.
They don’t want truth nor reconciliation.
They want us to keep us starved so we rely on their salvation.
Ooh ****! Better start…

Quick stepping, hold the breath in.
Nesquick bunny am I hoping or hopping?
Amongst these land mines that means certain death.
Just one wrong step, what do I have left?

Feels like I’m trying to swim upstream,
When for the longest time residential schools,
Were treated as ponzi schemes.
Or as justifiable things.
And I can’t lie that growing up that **** did sting!
Was silenced and punished by the authorities.
And I ain’t just talking police,
I’m talking anyone that held power over folks like me.
Hell I Can’t even go shopping without being assaulted and asked for my receipt!
Cause after all I’m the thief, a snotty nose Rez kid that needs to go back to his tepee!
Where health and safety is decreased,
But yawl don’t care or share mercy.
To us Street beasts.
You know what? **** these land mines,
I don’t care if ya triggered!
Better prepare yourself to be decolonized,
By your friendly neighbour hood prairie…

Verse 1:
Boom. Bombs going off me.
Check the meter, grab the coffee.
Trek through with the Beamer, come on Scotty!
Traffics running a muck, creeping on me.
Beeping on they horns, swearing at me.
So, much for Canadian hospitality.
Sure is wild in the city, especially at night,
Where’s I gots to protect my shawty.
Who be like a melody in my head,
Nagging at me.
Where 5 minutes turns to a couple hours probably.
A broken record of almost done, like sure you will hunny.
And even though I’ve been around the block,
I still can’t find parking.
Going around in circles,
Like it’s a synopsis of my whole life story.
Except this **** makes less cents,
Than a Canadian loonie.
Guess we can thank Trudeau and his liberal carnies.
Man, At this point I’d rather our Prime Minister be Barney.
We live in a world full of injustice just ask Johnny.
A man who got cancelled and labeled an enemy.
Without proof in the pudding,
Unlike Bill Cosby.

All heroes ain’t super,
To be a villain is easy,
All ya haves to do is give heathens the big bird,
Like ya was Mr.hooper
Plus ya get way more dinero, can sit back and puffs the reefy.
Why help the needy?
Survival of the fittest, ain’t gots time to be a goofy goober.
What can I say entrepreneurs are greedy!
So, come on pass the hookah, it’s been a long day.
And Pour some malice intent through the flask,
Enough to upset buddha or one’s bay.
Cause I wokes up with a hooka in a room filled with ashtrays.
When I was s’post to go to the preacha man’s house on Sunday.

What can I say? I think villains got it easy in this day and age!
In a world where…
Good guys receive so much disdain.
What can I say? Victim mentality is ingrained.
That’s why villains got it easy in this day and age.

Heroes philosophy otherwise known as a Villains dichotomy.
Write ******* wherever you end up burying me.
Truth be told, I know one day they’ll silence me.
Cause I don’t fit the mold of ignorance and complacency.
Too many aloof in reality, sold to a narrative of victim mentality.
Where Blaming the Herero white man is top priority.
That ain’t woke, it’s discrimination policy.
But apparently ya can’t be racist to the honkies.
At least that’s what the Karen professors tell me.
The inconvenient Indian challenging their privilege and authority.
Ain’t **** changed, we just accepted a different extremist philosophy.
That will become the death of democracy.

What can I say? I think villains got it easy in this day and age!
In a world where…
Good guys receive so much disdain.
What can I say? Victim mentality is ingrained.
That’s why villains got it easy in this day and age.

Left to watch as friends turns to fiends,
Overdose and make a scene.
Shooting up their tendons, yearning for a meaning.
Or they get shot up by the po-po cause they don’t resemble Mr. Clean.
Same **** different story from coast to coast if people actually bothered listening.
Left sitting watching finding dory instead of finding myself.
Wish I could give a **** about my mental health.
But society treats it like a joke.
So, I drown my sorrows and have a ****.
I’m down bad, Guzzling cans of alcohol out the canon like I’m bulbasaur.
Recovery is a buzzkill, watch me flounder in withdrawal like I’m magic carp.
Can’t hear them roars through the muzzle,
Silenced to the core.
Society hits harder than the floor, never thought I’d fall deeper into the dark.
Yet I keep wanting more and more!
Become your friendly neighbour hood addict man.
Till I get arrested for exposing my Peter in the park.
***** effective for my foes, like taking a hit straight through the nose.
The Taste of smack reaching the degenerate brain, knocking neurones over like dominoes.
Dictating erratic philosophy so don’t get too close.
Living In a state of apathy, thinking the answers in the readers palms.
But ya can’t escape the lie in belief, cause that said **** is strong.
Can one’s rights nullify another’s wrongs.
A victim can justify as easily as I can write rhymes in these songs.
Like a straw man looks for crumbs.
Instead of examining outside they lawns.
The bias of their ignorance remains prolonged.
Like a joke about a bear with them great big.. pause.

Deemed us as savages,
That’s how they branded us.
Numbered us off,
Like the holocaust.
Stripped of a heritage.
That’s how they divided us.
But when we speak we’re told to *******.
Left to Watch in horror as lives are lost.
Overdosing on drugs or getting shot.
Drinking the fire water to numb the trauma,
Of our salads being tossed.
By hands left unwashed.
Missing and murdered when’s the pain going to stop?
Tell me when the pains gonna stop?
Huh?
Hold up. I don’t think yawl awake enough!
And I ain’t talking if ya woke or not.
I’m talking bout opening up.
Wondering if yawl got hope or not?
Cause I’m truly broken up,
Survived off rice and ramen as youngen,
Yeah when we was broke as ****.
Raised by a single mother,
Dealt with Aces in her oven.
So, ya bet that statistics were dark as ****.
Uh! ****.

Heavy head wears the crown of thorns,
Was blue and black when I was born.
Little did I know that wouldn’t be the only storm…
That I would face.
Been close to death so many times,
I could probably draw heavens gates.
That ain’t an exaggeration.
Cause I swear some days the Grim Reaper must’ve been on vacation!
Yet here I still stand, gotta protect this land.
As the King of the Savages.

Trying to thrive through this wilderness,
With so many disadvantages.
Hard to speak the truth,
When they still try to silence us.
Hard to teach culture and language,
When they handcuff us.
Criminalized our identity and treated our beliefs as blasphemous.
Treated like Devil children,
That’s why the sent in the church to exorcise us!
Hard to create a movement or protest,
When the government treats us as domestic terrorists.
Colonial law and the Indian Act,
Still keeps many powerless.
It’s hard to be proud,
When all they do is shame and blame us.
Ironic isn’t it?
But as they say…

Heavy head wears the crown of thorns,
Was blue and black when I was born.
Little did I know that wouldn’t be the only storm…
That I would face.
Been close to death so many times,
I could probably draw heavens gates.
That ain’t an exaggeration.
Cause I swear some days the Grim Reaper must’ve been on vacation!
Yet here I still stand, gotta protect this land.
As the King of the Savages.

And then I wake up…
Just to pour another drink.
Yeah I wake up…
To swallow pills that give some relief.

And I wake up…
Alone again
Wonder if today's the day,
I put bullets through my head.

Times almost up cause…
Addiction be my lover,
Times almost up cause I'm…
Running out of veins to discover.

Tell me why? Tell me why?
I must remain while those I love die!
Tell me why? Tell me why?
I still feel everything, yet can no longer cry?
Tell me why? Tell me why?
Why can't I die? Why can't I die?

See I grew up being a failure,
Got abused left and right,
Some days I swear I saw my maker.
Asking him why I keep having to fight?
A cruel world filled with misdemeanours.
That delight in cockfights.
Never roosting on their morals,
Instead, they make mountains out of molehills.
Clubbing tender-hearted fools like me refusing to club the seals.
After all, Men can't show weakness they gotta be hard as steel!
This must be a nightmare cause this **** can't be for real?

And then I wake up…
Just to pour another drink.
Yeah I wake up…
To swallow pills that give some relief.

And I wake up…
Alone again
Wonder if today's the day,
I put bullets through my head.

I'm so torn inside,
Since the day they tore me from my mother.
Grew up in a penitentiary reciting Our Father.
Torn from a culture, from my sisters and my brothers.
Many tried to escape but could not escape the vultures.
After all we might have lost our culture,
But we couldn't bleach the colour…
Of our sin, oops I meant skin.
Then again it was all the same to them.
The supposed holy ones that wore the devils grin.
Uh, but **** it for my….

Times almost up cause…
Addiction be my lover,
Times almost up cause I'm…
Running out of veins to discover.

Tell me why? Tell me why?
I must remain while those I love die!
Tell me why? Tell me why?
I still feel everything, yet can no longer cry?
Tell me why? Tell me why?
Why can't I die? Why can't I die?

And then I wake up…
Just to pour another drink.
Yeah I wake up…
To swallow pills that give some relief.

And I wake up…
Alone again
Wonder if today's the day,
I put bullets through my head.

Doomalate the formula, chemistry insane.
**** a hypothesis, lets pinky and the brain.
Combine with intensity, till madness turns sane.
Gotta break a couple backs, just ask Bane and Bruce Wayne.
Just like money doesn’t always solve problems, in fact it’s keeps many chained.
Like being being combined in a column.
Than Columbined.
Ain’t **** changed since 99.
**** will just keep receding like Derrick Whites hairline.
Till tensions blow up like Palestine.
I don’t mince meat or words just to appease your waistline.
Why can’t ya be more like Will smith by not swearing in ya lines?
Cause it helps me release my pent up aggressions instead of assaulting comedians!
Who knew the better role model for kids would be Eminem?

In this lyrical revolution, I’m Noah’s ark.
Floating over ya stone cold hearts.
That Think that I’m toxic, yet are the ones swimming with the sharks.
But I learned a long time ago there’s no use educating marks.

I be meaning well,
When I excel,
Like maxwell,
Ding ding … ring the bell.
Kiss my diamond crusted pinky ring,
Gotta do what ya gotta do to win the belt.
Cry to Press like unlisted peons but that won’t make ya king.
Ya scrawny otters need to drink some milk.
Cause unlike ya ******* I’m built!
Built up from the ground cause I was willing to,
Step over ya unwilling to leave the pound.
Stepping over haters that tried to keep me down; self-defeating.
Narratives excusing and excluding.
Spinning wheels never ending, never changing.
Fearing Success cause its a blood sport that Damns Van’s & Claude-Jeans.
Never to be main characters like Jimmy  Neutron, left to starve on Planet Sheen.

Verse 1:
Rising to top, but I ain’t gonna drop.
No,no,no,no I ain’t gonna drop!
Cause I’m sipping on success,
******* ******* on my private jet yeah, yeah.
Sipping on success, the grind never stops.
Get that tattooed on ya chest.
Facing every challenge, unable to be stopped.
No, no, no, no I cannot be stopped!

Pre-chorus:
Cause I’m always evolving, yeah!
Musics my compulsion, yeah!
Uh, I Keep on evolving, keep on evolving,
Living my life like a sultan, like a sultan.

Chorus:
Isn’t that something? Uh, isn’t that something? Yeah
Doing **** my own way, my own way.
Cause I don’t play, no I don’t play.
And if you don’t like it, there’s the highway.

Verse 2:
Hit the road Jack, if ya ain’t willing to step up to the bat.
But even you do, You never hit the level that I am at.
Sorry not sorry for the lack of sympathy.
All I gotta give ya is the smallest symphony.

Pre-chorus:
Cause I’m always evolving, yeah!
Musics my compulsion, yeah!
Uh, I Keep on evolving, keep on evolving,
Living my life like a sultan, like a sultan.

Chorus:
Isn’t that something? Uh, isn’t that something? Yeah
Doing **** my own way, my own way.
Cause I don’t play, no I don’t play.
And if you don’t like it, there’s the highway.

Bridge:
Haters gonna hate, uh haters gonna hate.
Unlike you I do not break, yawl too fragile, yawl too fake!
I pour my heart & soul into this ****.
& that hard work turned into grit.

Chorus:
Isn’t that something? Uh, isn’t that something? Yeah
Doing **** my own way, my own way.
Cause I don’t play, no I don’t play.
And if you don’t like it, there’s the highway.

Outro:
This journeys a hustle,
Some of yawl too soft.
Don’t understand the struggle,
That’s why I make hits and yawl make flops.

Sometimes I wanna put my head in a blender,
Ain’t been sober since September, never wake me up till I see green days front & centre.
Everyday another ****** than I go and get fried.
No, futurama just future drama, but **** it I’m zombified.
With hangovers being the only thing confirming I’m even alive.
Treating life like a game but in real life there ain’t no revives.
But I know eventually like Chester I’ll cross that new divide.
Where the irresistible force & the immovable object collide.
Understand the analogy? If not my apologies.
For these are just the ramblings of addict unable to stop gambling.
Gambling with the life creator has graciously given me.
Wonder if he’s disappointed in me.
Uh…
Think I need some more REM &
***.
Blacking out till the next one.
Blacking out till I’m gone
Uh…

Liquor in my dreams,
Liquor in my mind,
Stumbling around the streams of thought,
Like a philosopher lost in time.

Liquor in my dreams,
Liquor in my mind,
Drowning out the past,
That left me traumatized.

Got me wanting to take a leap of bad faith,
Right into oncoming traffic.
1000 ways to die to meet the wraith awaiting like a bandit.
To take away life off the list with a tick,
Tick, tick.
No escaping the Clock of fate.
That’s why I numb my mental state.
So, I don’t feel **** when I arrive at hells gates.
Cause it cannot be worse than the **** I’ve already faced.
At least I’m hoping that is the case.
For goodness sakes.
Give me a ******* break.
But life is rigged speedway where shadowy figures cut one’s brakes.
Understand the analogy? If not my apologies.
For these are just the ramblings of addict unable to stop gambling.
Gambling with the life creator has graciously given me.
Wonder if he’s disappointed in me.
Uh…
Think I need some more REM &
***.
Blacking out till the next one.
Blacking out till I’m gone
Uh…

Liquor in my dreams,
Liquor in my mind,
Stumbling around the streams of thought,
Like a philosopher lost in time.

Liquor in my dreams,
Liquor in my mind,
Drowning out the past,
That left me traumatized.

I may not be able to birth a child,
But I swear that somedays I go through birthing pains.
To say that I’ve been through things,
Is a ******* understatement.
A survivor without guilt, sick of the chains,
And the constant payments.
If self care was a stock it’d be the best ******* investment.
Gotta figure out the Tetris blocks, cause services cost more than a months rent.
Plus it’s a joke that thinks it can take the stank outta the coffin with incense.
Insensitive at our expense, can never understand what it’s like across the fence.
What it like to always be in suspense.
Keeping glocks hidden cause ya never know when **** will get intense.
Never knowing when the clock stops to tick till it’s… next stop the graveyard express.
***** a complex mess that keeps recycling tragic events.
Never fully addressed, cause we so desensitized to the content.
Got me wondering…
What the ******* the point of growing pains,
If we ain’t grow.
Never appreciating the drive till ya die like Vincent Van Gogh!
Too busy criticizing individuals, unable to look beyond the storm to see the rainbow.
Got me wondering…
Where would I be today if no one took the time to see my rainbow?
If all they did was focus on the storm?
I probably would’ve took my life with a knife that night.
Traumatizing my mother, fulfilling a parents worst fright.
I just want those that are struggling currently to keep up the fight.
To speak up and get help, and know that through the darkness there is light.

Fiends always lurking, friends too busy getting blazed unknowing.
Of the dangers within life’s maze, waiting to make a killing.
Love of money is deceiving cause death don’t take no holidays.
Ya should know by now that these hoes, money & fame will betray.
Lead ya astray but I guess ya need a reminder; call it growing pains.
Jeremy Miller re-runs, re-plays, gotta have a legacy to leave for decades.
These days ain’t guaranteed, could have success but that can fade.
What’s a 70’s show shot in the 90’s without Topher Grace?
Indeed somethings can’t be replaced.
**** gotta have chemistry, otherwise the recipe will have a distaste.
Sour fruits breeds toxicity, becoming overblown till ya overdose cause that **** was laced.
Houses full of Payne, everyday another loss, but the masses gotta stay entertained.
So, with loss comes gains, ***** insane, ignore the corpses & enjoy the champagne.
Like a champ beaten and bruised until they numb to the pain.
Brain injuries cannot continue to be sustained!
But there ain’t no half-steppin’, isn’t that right Big Daddy Kane?
However, without tragedy, what would happen for those like Bruce Wayne?
I know that if I didn’t overcome adversity, I probably wouldn’t be the same!
So, perhaps that is why **** don’t change?
Cause some Climatized to the chains!

Victims to the game.
Always yearning for others to blame.
To justify actions so disgustingly vain.
No different than the nobles & colonists that ***** our ancestors.
Literally creating who we are today;
Intergenerational slaves.
Perpetuating cycles, perpetuating pain.
Victims to the game.

Coming into my own,
Branching structures outside my normative zone.
They can’t keep my voice silenced like redbone.
Can’t keep the message fossilized in stone.
We must evolve to heal the traumatized.
From structures intricately connected to harming marginalized lives.
Scars that lie beneath the skin, unseen by naked eyes.
Gotta be like a barbule; gotta connect and empathize.
Like a feather we must modify the process to better serve different functions.
To correct ignorant assumptions.
Which breeds nothing but dysfunction.
One way to do this is by having open, comfortable and safe discussions.

(Chick Corea & Return forever-light as a feather)

“Clear days feel so good and free
So light as a feather can be
Clear days feel so good and free
So light as a feather can be”

Gotta be resilient cause we trauma prone,
Even before foster care we was placed outside our homes.
Stuck within concentration camps or road allowance zones.
A practice so vile I think I’d rather get ******.
With insufficient plates for mouths, so many got buried in graves unknown.
Naive knaves betrayed and still smell of the perpetrators cologne.
Colonists were Terminators that tried to vanquish more than just John Connor.
But every hero needs an antagonist and our people won’t simply Timber.
We bounce back like Rubber, yawl can’t keep us in the gutter.
No matter how low it gets we’ll float above it like a feather.
Resilient despite the weather.
Resilient despite the pressure.

(Chick Corea & Return forever-light as a feather)

“Clear days feel so good and free
So light as a feather can be
Clear days feel so good and free
So light as a feather can be”

There are many facets of breaking.
Each taking varied directions,
Just as one does with life.
Like words cure or reap acid.
Water runs deep; gotta look deeper to see the connections.
Take a breath and use it for reflection.
Don’t want to have a stroke taking strokes and wading through the molasses.
That traps us, unable to move in our lanes.
We may no longer be slaves yet some still remain chained.
Waiting on things to change yet no doing their part to see said change.
Unable to escape the poverty mindset,
On corners begging for spare change.
But society can’t even seem to spare a tire.
Apathy is a ***** that keeps individuals desensitized and tired.
To speak facts breeds ire, such irony could melt iron and knees.
Words as sharp as tacks but anything but tactful.
But **** it gotta do what I gotta do to eviscerate the disease.
Won’t sit by and watch **** fly by like cattle.
That perpetuates brokenness and unfulfilled dreams.
How much to break a Benjamin?
An agony so dear to more than just Benjamin.
Just Ask Kendrick how much that dollar cost!
Economy don’t trickle down to the unwashed.
Many try to take the moral route,
But that’s a heavy cross.
Especially when meaning well goes against biased and racist laws.
Just look at the stir up Jesus caused.
Whether you believe in him or not.
Fact is; **** hasn’t changed for over 700 thousand years.
Sometimes I wish I could turn water in wine and drink with 700 thousand peers.
At the bottom of the bottle, the sum of all fears.
But drowning in our sorrows will only reap 700 thousand tears.

How much pressure till one hits their breaking point?
Some numb it all with pills or joints.
Others try to tone down the stress like some Joker, but end up like Heath Ledger.
Running with loaded guns, disappoint the masses like Cobain.
Can lose one’s life in a moment’s notice like Coltrane.
How much a life cost?
We all serve a life sentence, but what will our legacy be at the end of said sentence?
Do our actions increase or decrease our worth?
Is it enough for repentance?
I guess it depends on the intentions of one’s heart.
Guess we won’t know till we return to the dirt.
And break into rebirth.

Multiversal war but I'm out here surfing silver,
Fiercer than Galactus or any other heavy hitters.
I'm not a monster or a killer.
Imma Upper echelon rocketing raccoon, but don’t mess with the fur.
But if it came down to it,
I'd even strangle baby ******.
**** got dark, like some vampire thriller.
Call over Blade, to douse it with some holy water.
Stakes are high, like a mad titans slaughter.
Guess gotta burn some rubber, like the spirit of vengeance; Ghost Rider!
Collect a cosmic stone, but in-turn lose a daughter.
Some are afraid of death, others try to court her.
You may think you’re a conqueror like Kang,
But could still get cancelled.
A stank worse than the Blobs that never leaves ya.
Think I’d rather get Sentineled.
Or face off against the punisher.

Ring the bell,
Time to avenge the masses.
But only time will tell.
If we’re actually able to save they *****.

Multiversal war is on the horizon,
Fight till the last breath.
Like it was for the last remaining Bison.
Even if like Namor we are out of our depths.

I would rather be a solemn man than a Solomon.
Everybody wants to hold the crown but not the spikes.
Discover the heat in the kitchen with them pots and pans.
But is anybody actually down to listen to advice?
No… so no wonder history repeats.
Patterns of a Prideful Heart better hope it doesn't expand.
Watch the numbers; ain't no mystery why **** doesn't change in the streets!
We rather **** one another than give each other a hand.
All I see in my community is toxicity.
Whose at fault? Us or the white man?
Yes, the systems in place we're designed to create injury.
But we haven't stopped the demand!
We ain't stop or call for public inquiries.
Corruption runs deeper than a marginalized person's hatred for the cops.
Keeping progress under advisory.
Killing ourselves cause this **** is as complex as tangled knots.

Pride leaves one apathetic.
Defective and Unapologetic.
Pride can deafen ears and silence reason.
Pride is deceitful, makes you feel strong but ends up leaving you weakened.
Pride is a snake that will consume you.
If you want to change; find humility it will guide you.

To break on through to the other side.
Open up the doors, leave that drama outside.
Your past doesn’t make you who you are.
How you choose to end your story is for you to decide!

Everything time you slip away,
I cannot take, I start to break.
Cause you make my mind race.
With these thoughts of lust,
And these thoughts of hate.
I swear without you, I go insane.
The monkeys are out of the barrel.
I can’t be hushed, I cannot taste.
Gotta shake this cage, and get away.

I… am a lost boy.
Without his Wendy.
Sail me to neverland,
To lose myself within the shadows
Lose myself in the land of plenty.

Finding myself hooked,
To materials, to you.
Even though you’re a crocodile,
I can’t help but to pursue.
I can’t help but to look,
Longingly like a crook.
I yearn for what I cannot attain.
Maybe that’s why you see me as a child.
I’m just a lost boy to you.

An object of disdain.
Perhaps I crave this pain?
The enjoyment of riding the waves,
Of the hurricane!

I… am a lost boy.
Without his Wendy.
Sail me to neverland,
To lose myself within the shadows
Lose myself in the land of plenty.

Some of the best rappers alive,
Yawl never heard of.
Some of my best friends I’ll never see again,
Went missing or got murdered.
Every day I tread water,
Ain’t got no life preserver.
Got built in strength yet still fragile,
Like a lavatera.
A gift passed on from era to era.
Like the bottled up emotions,
That one never spoke a word of.
Until like many I eventually exploded, was empty, so i fuelled my body with Henny.
****, now I gotta disorder.
Suicidal tendencies don’t discriminate or recognize borders.
And based on statistics I’d most likely end up an Alberta Warrior.
It might be the turn of the century,
Yet in terms of progress we haven’t even left the harbour.
My sister got in a bad accident yet it took hours to even see the doctor.
Had a concussion but they assumed she just consumed the fire water.
Almost lost another family member.
Because of the fact she was Indigenous,
The medical system didn’t even bother.

Through the trials and pain, I must maintain.
Got burdens and chains, that I must break.
No matter the terrain.
I gotta keep my head on straight.

Even though there are days, I swear that the world grows darker.
Gotta watch out for that thief in the night,
Cause the devil ain’t no ordinary burglar.
He comes in all shapes and sizes,
Can present himself as vices.
Watched my fair share of those I loved,
Die from overdoses.
So, many holes to dig but not enough roses.
The snake even slithers his way into the services that are supposed to help us.
Maybe that’s why most cops don’t like us.
Cause they were struck by the devil’s virus!
Perhaps I’m just traumatized and on verge of becoming comatose.
Went to the doctor and was given an expensive trauma quote.
**** I meant medication.
Guess it’s cheaper to buy some dope.
Except I gotta deal with society viewing me as an abomination.
Either way I gotta pay to keep away these demons.
Wonder how long I’ll stay within this season?
I guess it could be worse?
I could be more like Job.
But comparing atrocities is as useful as counting crows.
Can’t dwell on these tragic comedies, I’d rather see the varied ways for hope.

Through the struggles and pain, I must maintain.
Got burdens and chains, that I must break.
No matter the terrain.
I gotta keep my head on straight

A solemn prayer given.
Somber times of silence.
Remember the last time you heard.
Sitting here waiting for answers.
Chaos envelopes, swarming around me.
Lost in the woods, feeling trapped.
It’s hard not to be discouraged.
On the brink.
Wonder when I will find sleep?
I long for rest.
A peace that surpasses all understanding.
Am I weak to question?
Should I even ask?
Holding out for a chance.
A miraculous miracle.
But sometimes they never come.
At least the way I hoped for or expected.
Faith is like a mustard seed,
But I’ve heard that is enough to move mountains.
Yet I struggle to move even myself.
Am I asking too much?
Or not enough?

Sometimes **** doesn’t go your way,
It’s like I prefer to make it harder on myself,
Cause I prefer to take the longest way.
Yet also gotta find time for self help, even if you’re;
Pressed for time every gosh **** day,
Never will hear me say the lords name in vain.
Even though I’m a sinner, I know there’s room for change.
And yes I’m a swearer; to my moms disdain.
But we all fall short, cause we’re all humane.
And until that final court day, I must maintain!
Cause I don’t do **** halfway!
Got to make the most of this life,
Even if it’s a bit risqué!

Go ahead and seize the day!
While also putting **** to bed.
Don’t want to be no slave.
Or give free space to those,
Trying to reside within your head!

Call it carpe diem,
Might just slide into your dm’s,
Might just sky dive next weekend!
Hell I might just start casting out demons!
Only God can take me,
Or get me kneeling.
I’m done being stuck in the mud!
It’s bout time for healing!
I’m done being suffocated,
It’s bout time I start breathing.
Give thanks and a prayer than dive back in the deep end.
To help others that be drowning.
Gotta make a stand for those,
condemned by the world.
Unwilling to lend a hand.
So, I gotta do my part to help them…

Go ahead and seize the day.
While also putting **** to bed.
Don’t want to be no slave.
Or give free space to those,
Trying to reside within your head!

Pinky ring slingers,
Watch as my brothers get put in slammers,
Watch as my brother’s get hung from swingers.
Every day, every week I hear cries and gospel singers.
Every day, every week I hear gun shots and tweakers.
Trauma runs deep, our community the titanic,
All we get is static from a government,
That watches along as we sink here.
Treating it like collages cause they hearts cold as winter.
Where our cries go in one ear than out the other ear.
If the Statue of Liberty was a person,
They’d probably evict her.
I guess one may say that,
Equity has become as real as flying reindeer.
It’s cute that some think they understand the pain here,
Just because they watched Naruto.
Now, that’s what I call taking a big leap sir!
But the truth is you’ll never understand kiddo.
You may be lost now, but so too was Nemo!
Just gotta accept it like the fact that,
Han first shot at Greedo.

Dealing with the same **** since existence,
But we refuse to fix the broken toilets.
Flushing away the vulnerable.
**** a safety net.

Dealing with the same **** since existence,
But those in power keep their phones on silent.
Letting people fall through the cracks,
Thinking it’s priceless cause in their minds they’re worthless.

Yet ignorant ******* still can’t seem to fathom why we upset!
In fact the buggers uno reverse the subject.
Like they are the true victims,
Cause intersectionality displaces them.
Must really **** to be viewed as the problem?
Get over it darlin!
Tell me more about how it feels to not be pardoned for your skin!
****.
Straight up, Got ‘em.
Got they hands up but still shot em.
Got barely any food to eat, still robbed em.
May have been hit with a rock bottom.
But they still don’t know what it is to hit rock bottom!
So, shut up and **** on my *******.
***** I’m not playing,
***** I’m not joking!

Dealing with the same **** since existence,
But we refuse to fix the broken toilets.
Flushing away the vulnerable.
**** a safety net.

Dealing with the same **** since existence,
But those in power keep their phones on silent.
Letting people fall through the cracks,
Thinking it’s priceless cause in their minds they’re worthless.

What came first?
A barren land or a barren mind?
Perhaps the two are intertwined!
Is the glass half empty or half full?
Perspective is a state by design.
While some of the confined become free.
Those of who are free can be confined.
Sometimes the cuffs come on even before the jail time.
Those who are blind may not be able to see,
But those who see can be also be blind to things.
Blind to hatred, tears, and blood.
Blind to anger, click bait, and floods.
So I ask.
What comes first?
Others or ourselves?
In a land with book stores, we are its shelves.
Holding onto things that eventually collect dust.
Scenarios once opened but now shut.
Yet many hang on still.
Unable to rebuild.
Perhaps they never gained the proper skills?
Raised by those who were ill.
Ill suited to fill their empty cups.
Ill suited to lift them up.
So again I ask?
What came first?
The barren land or the barren mind?
I hope you come to realize, that they can be intertwined.