Some of the best rappers alive,
Yawl never heard of.
Some of my best friends I’ll never see again,
Went missing or got murdered.
Every day I tread water,
Ain’t got no life preserver.
Got built in strength yet still fragile,
Like a lavatera.
A gift passed on from era to era.
Like the bottled up emotions,
That one never spoke a word of.
Until like many I eventually exploded, was empty, so i fuelled my body with Henny.
****, now I gotta disorder.
Suicidal tendencies don’t discriminate or recognize borders.
And based on statistics I’d most likely end up an Alberta Warrior.
It might be the turn of the century,
Yet in terms of progress we haven’t even left the harbour.
My sister got in a bad accident yet it took hours to even see the doctor.
Had a concussion but they assumed she just consumed the fire water.
Almost lost another family member.
Because of the fact she was Indigenous,
The medical system didn’t even bother.

Through the trials and pain, I must maintain.
Got burdens and chains, that I must break.
No matter the terrain.
I gotta keep my head on straight.

Even though there are days, I swear that the world grows darker.
Gotta watch out for that thief in the night,
Cause the devil ain’t no ordinary burglar.
He comes in all shapes and sizes,
Can present himself as vices.
Watched my fair share of those I loved,
Die from overdoses.
So, many holes to dig but not enough roses.
The snake even slithers his way into the services that are supposed to help us.
Maybe that’s why most cops don’t like us.
Cause they were struck by the devil’s virus!
Perhaps I’m just traumatized and on verge of becoming comatose.
Went to the doctor and was given an expensive trauma quote.
**** I meant medication.
Guess it’s cheaper to buy some dope.
Except I gotta deal with society viewing me as an abomination.
Either way I gotta pay to keep away these demons.
Wonder how long I’ll stay within this season?
I guess it could be worse?
I could be more like Job.
But comparing atrocities is as useful as counting crows.
Can’t dwell on these tragic comedies, I’d rather see the varied ways for hope.

Through the struggles and pain, I must maintain.
Got burdens and chains, that I must break.
No matter the terrain.
I gotta keep my head on straight

A solemn prayer given.
Somber times of silence.
Remember the last time you heard.
Sitting here waiting for answers.
Chaos envelopes, swarming around me.
Lost in the woods, feeling trapped.
It’s hard not to be discouraged.
On the brink.
Wonder when I will find sleep?
I long for rest.
A peace that surpasses all understanding.
Am I weak to question?
Should I even ask?
Holding out for a chance.
A miraculous miracle.
But sometimes they never come.
At least the way I hoped for or expected.
Faith is like a mustard seed,
But I’ve heard that is enough to move mountains.
Yet I struggle to move even myself.
Am I asking too much?
Or not enough?

Sometimes **** doesn’t go your way,
It’s like I prefer to make it harder on myself,
Cause I prefer to take the longest way.
Yet also gotta find time for self help, even if you’re;
Pressed for time every gosh **** day,
Never will hear me say the lords name in vain.
Even though I’m a sinner, I know there’s room for change.
And yes I’m a swearer; to my moms disdain.
But we all fall short, cause we’re all humane.
And until that final court day, I must maintain!
Cause I don’t do **** halfway!
Got to make the most of this life,
Even if it’s a bit risqué!

Go ahead and seize the day!
While also putting **** to bed.
Don’t want to be no slave.
Or give free space to those,
Trying to reside within your head!

Call it carpe diem,
Might just slide into your dm’s,
Might just sky dive next weekend!
Hell I might just start casting out demons!
Only God can take me,
Or get me kneeling.
I’m done being stuck in the mud!
It’s bout time for healing!
I’m done being suffocated,
It’s bout time I start breathing.
Give thanks and a prayer than dive back in the deep end.
To help others that be drowning.
Gotta make a stand for those,
condemned by the world.
Unwilling to lend a hand.
So, I gotta do my part to help them…

Go ahead and seize the day.
While also putting **** to bed.
Don’t want to be no slave.
Or give free space to those,
Trying to reside within your head!

Pinky ring slingers,
Watch as my brothers get put in slammers,
Watch as my brother’s get hung from swingers.
Every day, every week I hear cries and gospel singers.
Every day, every week I hear gun shots and tweakers.
Trauma runs deep, our community the titanic,
All we get is static from a government,
That watches along as we sink here.
Treating it like collages cause they hearts cold as winter.
Where our cries go in one ear than out the other ear.
If the Statue of Liberty was a person,
They’d probably evict her.
I guess one may say that,
Equity has become as real as flying reindeer.
It’s cute that some think they understand the pain here,
Just because they watched Naruto.
Now, that’s what I call taking a big leap sir!
But the truth is you’ll never understand kiddo.
You may be lost now, but so too was Nemo!
Just gotta accept it like the fact that,
Han first shot at Greedo.

Dealing with the same **** since existence,
But we refuse to fix the broken toilets.
Flushing away the vulnerable.
**** a safety net.

Dealing with the same **** since existence,
But those in power keep their phones on silent.
Letting people fall through the cracks,
Thinking it’s priceless cause in their minds they’re worthless.

Yet ignorant ******* still can’t seem to fathom why we upset!
In fact the buggers uno reverse the subject.
Like they are the true victims,
Cause intersectionality displaces them.
Must really **** to be viewed as the problem?
Get over it darlin!
Tell me more about how it feels to not be pardoned for your skin!
****.
Straight up, Got ‘em.
Got they hands up but still shot em.
Got barely any food to eat, still robbed em.
May have been hit with a rock bottom.
But they still don’t know what it is to hit rock bottom!
So, shut up and **** on my *******.
***** I’m not playing,
***** I’m not joking!

Dealing with the same **** since existence,
But we refuse to fix the broken toilets.
Flushing away the vulnerable.
**** a safety net.

Dealing with the same **** since existence,
But those in power keep their phones on silent.
Letting people fall through the cracks,
Thinking it’s priceless cause in their minds they’re worthless.

What came first?
A barren land or a barren mind?
Perhaps the two are intertwined!
Is the glass half empty or half full?
Perspective is a state by design.
While some of the confined become free.
Those of who are free can be confined.
Sometimes the cuffs come on even before the jail time.
Those who are blind may not be able to see,
But those who see can be also be blind to things.
Blind to hatred, tears, and blood.
Blind to anger, click bait, and floods.
So I ask.
What comes first?
Others or ourselves?
In a land with book stores, we are its shelves.
Holding onto things that eventually collect dust.
Scenarios once opened but now shut.
Yet many hang on still.
Unable to rebuild.
Perhaps they never gained the proper skills?
Raised by those who were ill.
Ill suited to fill their empty cups.
Ill suited to lift them up.
So again I ask?
What came first?
The barren land or the barren mind?
I hope you come to realize, that they can be intertwined.

I delight in weaknesses,
in insults,
in hardships,
in persecutions,
in difficulties.
For when I am weak, then I am strong

Thought I could do this alone,
But my pride made me prone.
I feel torn,
I feel worn,
Addiction attached to my mind,
Like a crown of thorns.
Got me numb and resisting those who are kind.
Limitations of the stubborn,
Deny the sunscreen, but gets surprised with the sun burn.
Locked in a prison,
Yet I was the one that walked in.
Couldn’t get enough of the ecstasy,
As I needed an excuse to continue,
Playing the victim.
What can I say?
Conformity got to be comfortable.
Is it possible to choose to be a slave?
A question that leaves a majority uncomfortable.


Chorus:
I gotta get out, gotta break free, from the sinkhole that be trying to swallow me.
The past tries to grip, tries to make me slip.
But I gotta remind myself that I’m no longer shackled to that ****.
I gotta remind myself of my merit,
That I’m not just a statistic,
I have a ******* name,
And people will hear it!

Society don’t think much bout me,
For awhile I believed what they told me.
Spiralled down dark paths that almost killed me.
Many nights I screamed for Creator to take me.
The weight overbearing,
Addiction overwhelming,
Collecting scars and mistakes that got me resenting,
That I was born possessing.
A skin tone unmatching.
A dominant society that found it revolting.
Yet had no problem ******* and ******,
The ones who loved me.
Left to watch as many of them died in front of me.
No wonder I crave the needle,
The smoke,
The drink
The pills
The coke,
Because when I die I can say to them don’t worry I’m coming.
Coming home;
A home that was robbed from me.

Chorus:
I gotta get out, gotta break free, from the sinkhole that be trying to swallow me.
The past tries to grip, tries to make me slip.
But I gotta remind myself that I’m no longer shackled to that ****.
I gotta remind myself of my merit,
That I’m not just a statistic,
I have a ******* name,
And people will hear it!

Outro:
Gotta come together and stand as one,
Fight against the trauma that leaves many wounded,
Like it was a bullet from a gun!
Gotta to fight the **** that is rooted,
In a society that remains stunned.

Verse 1:
Times slipping away,
Like pockets full of sand.
I am just a man,
Oh, I am just a man.
Someday you’ll understand.
Someday we’ll meet again.

Chorus:
It’s the circle of life son,
Your time has just begun.
It’s the circle of life son,
And it’s looks like I am done.

Verse 2:
Every dog has his day,
All bones will decay.
The flesh will betray.
But no matter how fast one runs,
They can’t get away.
No, they can’t get away.

Chorus:
It’s the circle of life son,
Your time has just begun.
It’s the circle of life son,
And it’s looks like I am done.

Verse 3:
The angels serenade,
Ashes entombed by clay.
Carried by a tear filled parade.
What a somber day,
What a somber day.
But don’t worry child; it’ll be okay.
It’ll be okay.

Bridge:
You can hold me in your heart,
I’ll never let go,
Till we meet again,
Down the road.

Chorus:
It’s the circle of life son,
Your time has just begun.
It’s the circle of life son,
And it’s looks like I am done.

Can’t you end this suffrage?
The pain runs deep,
Can’t be mended by any bandage.
I just want to sleep,
But can’t escape this *******!
Ran out tears to weep,
Yet I still got all this baggage!

I’m losing my vision,
I’m losing my wisdom,
Stuck within this prison.
Is there a lesson?
To my pain?
Is there a lesson?
Can’t even remain sane.

I see the cliff coming,
But I can’t stop the mileage.
Trapped between two worlds,
Like I’m Hana Montana and Miley Cyrus.
I see the end coming,
But I can’t control even control the climate.
My minds overloaded,
Can’t it be like my phone and be put on silent?
I’m tired of this ****,
But forget it, I’m just biased.
And I wanna go home,
But cancer makes no compromises.
Life just might be a *****,
Don’t mind me,
I’m just not fond of surprises.

Don’t know how much time I got left,
Hope I’m right about what happens next.
But until my last breath,
I’ll make the most of it!

Even if I start,
losing my vision,
losing my wisdom,
Stuck within this prison.
Gotta see if there’s some lesson?
To my pain?
Wondering if there is a lesson?
Or if I’m just insane.

You indulge my senses,
Yet, Want for nothing,
**** the money and its interest.
Baby girl, are you angel?
Or a goddess?

Cause you got me not thinking clearly,
I want you near me.
I swear my heart just skipped a beat,
Blood pressure off the charts,
**** girl you got me weak!
Um, I’m not too sure what to say,
Cause I never felt this **** before.
Pardon my French,
But you’re as beautiful as the stars.
You remind me of Jojo,
Cause I could see us going on bizarre adventures.
Till we grow old and accidentally switch each others dentures.
Ewww.
But what’s love without the gross ****?
What’s love without the arguments,
The breaks without each other,
Two incomplete creatures,
A band of misfits?
What’s love without the occasional dysfunction?
It’s like trying to have means without production.
It’s like having electrical currents without magnetic induction.
In essence… girl…
You bring light to my darkness,
Yeah you are the peace to my destruction.

You indulge my senses,
Yet, Want for nothing,
**** the money and its interest.
Baby girl, are you angel?
Or a goddess?


I swear I’m not playing with you,
Are you playing with me?
This is some Shakespeare ****,
Cause you be taming this shrew.
Or perhaps I’m just dreaming,
Cause this **** just don’t feel real to me.
Perhaps it’s cause of my trauma?
Cause in life there’s always a catch.
And unless yawl a baseball player,
Ya gotta protect ya neck and ya honour.
With many going to jails in order to get a patch.
And the only hope many had was mommas prayers.
Hoping that we wouldn’t be murdered.
Thank God I’m alive,
Thank God for the strength when I felt discouraged.
And thank you for coming into my life,
And not seeing me as a burden.
You  saved my life,
Thank you for supporting me when I was hurting.

You indulge my senses,
Yet, Want for nothing,
**** the money and its interest.
Baby girl, are you angel?
Or a goddess?

Those faded schemes,
You think I wouldn’t see?
Those wicked lies,
Spoken by venomous tongues.
The wicked tears,
Imprisoned within.
Deadly facades,
Can’t even trust one’s own kin.

And… I….
Feel like I’m crashing!
And… I….
Feel like I’m suffocating!

I almost lost myself within the nonsense.
Almost lost myself, when I stayed silent.
Almost faded into darkness.
Lost my heart, when you crushed it.
Almost faded into darkness.
Lost my reason, when you manipulated it.

Your demented smile,
Rips apart my heart.
Left to watch.
Watch you dance around my emotions.
How long can I sustain this torment?
When will this toy break?
Than is discarded and forgotten!
How long till I fade into darkness?

And… I….
Feel like I’m crashing!
And… I….
Feel like I’m suffocating!

I almost lost myself within the nonsense.
Almost lost myself, when I stayed silent.
Almost faded into darkness.
Lost my heart, when you crushed it.
Almost faded into darkness.
Lost my reason, when you manipulated it.

And… I….
Feel like I’m crashing!
And… I….
Feel like I’m suffocating!

Turn the dial,
Stroke the flames.
Life’s a river,
I’m in denial,
Got no one else to blame.
Such a shame.
Yeah, such such a shame.

Left to sit in a pile…
Of my own waste,
It’s been awhile,
Since the mirror’s been turned,
And I’m left face to face.
With the weight and the guilt,
Once displaced.

Maybe I’m the bad guy, maybe I’m the stooge.
Maybe the reason for my hurt wasn’t you!
Maybe I’m the villain, maybe I’m the poison.
Maybe I’m the one who actually hurt you!
What do I do?
What can I do?
When…
I’m an wounded animal,
That only knows how to hurt.

Turn up the radio,
I don’t want to hear it.
Let me continue to dismiss the feelings.
And manipulate the scenario.
So, I stay in control and you submit.
But yeah I’m the victim.
You just don’t understand.
I’m the victim, I’m the ******.

Just let me wallow,
In my delusions.
Because I refuse to swallow.
The bitter truth.
That I just might be the pollution.
With a hate that has broken me beyond repair.
Yeah, it’s a despair that sours taste.

So, maybe I’m the bad guy, maybe I’m the stooge.
Maybe the reason for my hurt wasn’t you!
Maybe I’m the villain, maybe I’m the poison.
Maybe I’m the one who actually hurt you!
What do I do?
What can I do?
When…
I’m an wounded animal,
That only knows how to hurt.

Got my head in the clouds again,
Daydreaming of a life,
I could never live.
Love might as well be a fantasy.
I tried too hard to be like the covers I see on the magazines.
Grass seemed so much greener,
But in reality it was like gasoline.
That exploded in my face,
Guess I should’ve left the acting to those on the movie screens.

Stop, please. Get away from me. I don’t want no flash photography.
Should’ve never left my room.
Cause outside all I see is anxiety.
Shouldn’t have left my room.
Cause all I see is a critical society.

So, I float away.
I float away.
Head in the clouds.
Cause I can’t run away, run away.
So, I continue to float away,
Float away.

I’m feel like I’m always on low power mode,
Wonder when imma bout to shut down.
Medicine keeps me docile,
Haven’t been myself for awhile.
Broken hearted, shattered mind.
Daydreaming my life away.
Cause fantasy is more enticing.
Daydreaming my life away.
Cause I’m tired of fighting.

Stop, please. Get away from me. I don’t want no flash photography.
Should’ve never left my room.
Cause outside all I see is anxiety.
Shouldn’t have left my room.
Cause all I see is a critical society.

So, I float away.
I float away.
Head in the clouds.
Cause I can’t run away, run away.
So, I continue to float away,
Float away.

This ceiling; the only thing that keeps me sheltered.
I’m bleeding; internally deceiving.
If there is a heaven, will I be raptured?
Left inside the room,
Am I crazy? Or are the walls talking too?
The voices; oh the idle chatter.
They treat me like a pest,
Quick go get the pastor.
Oh, fair maiden; where did you go?
Can’t escape the chains,
Can’t escape your role?
All you need is a push,
Down the rabbit hole.

Now I don’t know?
What is the right answer?
Oh, I don’t know?
All I see is cancer.

Slowly eating away, painfully till I fade away.
Slowly eating away, painfully till I fade away.

Nothing the doctors can do.
Human nature is cruel.
We treat our pets better.
Society might as well be a zoo.
But there’s nothing we can do.
But sit and wait for the inevitable.
Because in reality there is no time travel;
Or Doctor Who!

Now I don’t know?
What is the right answer?
Oh, I don’t know?
All I see is cancer.

Slowly eating away, painfully till I fade away.
Slowly eating away, painfully till I fade away.

Run, Run.
As fast as you can.
But you can’t escape,
The reapers hand.

Run, Run.
As fast as you can.
But you can’t escape,
The reapers hand.

Now I don’t know?
What is the right answer?
Oh, I don’t know?
All I see is cancer.

Slowly eating away, painfully till I fade away.
Slowly eating away, painfully till I fade away.

Come and have some tea with me,
Don’t be afraid, you’ll be okay.
Fears are imaginary, indulge in the decay.
Pass the crumpets to the invisible dead.
Don’t want to upset the spirits, pinhead.
Every scenario is like a dance on fibreglass.
Weighted shoes, the burdens, gotta relax.
If you’re not careful, you’ll start to make cracks.
Tiptoe around the subject,
Like it’s your first time.
Deflect the conflict of an unstable mind.

Can’t you see we are stuck within a padded cell.
What if reality was actually hell?
What is real? It’s hard to tell!

All around the room, a faded memory.
Underneath the cobwebs is where trauma blooms.
All around the room, a jaded sensory.
A glitch in system, that can be triggered by smells of perfume.
Don’t want to return to that time of gloom.

To weak to stop it,
Pressure builds,
Can’t contain what’s within the closet.
To numb to move,
All I can do is watch it.
Hurt by the one’s I thought I trusted.
Thought I’d be over it now,
But I’m still left disgusted.
The shivers are reminder,
A reminder that I lost it.

All around the room, a faded memory.
Underneath the cobwebs is where trauma blooms.
All around the room, a jaded sensory.
A glitch in system, that can be triggered by smells of perfume.
Don’t want to return to that time of gloom.

Can’t you see we are stuck within a padded cell.
What if reality was actually hell?
What is real? It’s hard to tell!

Sometimes I feel like therapists are like vampires,
They **** me dry.
Sometimes the best intentions,
Lead to the worst of times.
Gotta keep the industry moving,
If you can’t keep up you’re left behind.
Everything is a product,
But what about the products with compromised designs?
If you can’t understand what I’m saying,
Read in between the lines.

All around the room, a faded memory.
Underneath the cobwebs is where trauma blooms.
All around the room, a jaded sensory.
A glitch in system, that can be triggered by smells of perfume.
Don’t want to return to that time of gloom.

Can’t you see we are stuck within a padded cell.
What if reality was actually hell?
What is real? It’s hard to tell!

Verse 1:

I wish I could say no strings attached,
But I’m a tangled mess.
Come into my playhouse, baby.
Ignore the webs.
Step into the minefield,
That was once my head.
I’m a darkened canvas,
But my visions red.
So, best tuck yourself in tightly,
Before going to bed.
You don’t want to tempt the monsters,
Who haven’t been fed.

Pre-chorus:
(Da-dum, da-dum, da-la-ta-dum)
(Da-dum, da-dum, da-la-ta-dum)

Chorus:
The traps been set, there’s no escape.
The illusions of love; the reality of hate.
Distorted beauty, masks intentions.
The powder of a bullet, triggers ignition.

Verse 2:
Now I’m gunning for you.
Twisted love is like pins and needles.
You’re the doll, I’m the voodoo.
I’m coming for you.
Dark afflictions baby, I crave for you.
Would savour the flesh,
Would savour each taste.
Till there’s nothing left,
Except for cake.

Pre-chorus:
(Da-dum, da-dum, da-la-ta-dum)
(Da-dum, da-dum, da-la-ta-dum)

Chorus:
The traps been set, there’s no escape.
The illusions of love; the reality of hate.
Distorted beauty, masks intentions.
The powder of a bullet, triggers ignition.

Bridge:
I’m a beast with no beauty.
No curse on me.
I’m a beast with no beauty.
Uncaged and hungry.

Pre-chorus:
(Da-dum, da-dum, da-la-ta-dum)
(Da-dum, da-dum, da-la-ta-dum)

Chorus:
The traps been set, there’s no escape.
The illusions of love; the reality of hate.
Distorted beauty, masks intentions.
The powder of a bullet, triggers ignition.

My eyes are dotted,
My lips are sown.
The needle digs deep,
My blood runs cold.
Trickling down.
(Drip, drip)
Time moves on,
(Tick, tick)
The room is spinning.
I’m about to slip.

(Into madness, into madness)

My soul has been Eviscerated.
I don’t have my joystick,
I’ve lost control.
I used to dance to my own beat,
Should have held on.
But what can you expect from a doll?
Could be torn to shreds,
And try to patch me back up,
But I’ll never be whole.
After all…
If one’s innocence dies,
Can they truly grow old?

My eyes are dotted,
My lips are sown.
The needle digs deep,
My blood runs cold.
Trickling down.
(Drip, drip)
Time moves on,
(Tick, tick)
The room is spinning.
I’m about to slip.

(Into madness, into madness)

The burdens bare,
Naked without a care.
Empty & incomplete.
Because life ain’t fair.
A blank stare that engulfs,
And consumes like a black hole.
That dead expression,
That traps all within its grasp, like a sink hole.

My eyes are dotted,
My lips are sown.
The needle digs deep,
My blood runs cold.
Trickling down.
(Drip, drip)
Time moves on,
(Tick, tick)
The room is spinning.
I’m about to slip.

(Into madness, into madness)

Draped in the Dior,
Gold diggers treat me like I’m Superman,
But I ain’t their saviour.
Materialism has turned some into caveman’s.
Entitled Karen’s that scream for the manager.
******* unenlightened specimens.
Dimes thinking they diamonds…
Yeah, diamonds from the dollar store.
Don’t look now, Donald Sutherland!
Affairs don’t fair well, at least for the common man.
Where it’ll leave em more down under than an a Australian.
And if a baby come in the picture,
It’ll cost ya just ask Nick Cannon.
Gotta keep that 100 acre wood in check,
& definitely don’t forget to protect ya neck.
Uh…
******* think I’m eeyore,
These ****** named sally;
Don’t know **** outside a seashore.
If they only knew;
I stemmed more hams than Seymour.
I may not understand the matters of the heart,
But I do understand it’s all the same in the dark.
Smell the blood in the water,
Yeah baby I’m the shark.
But before things get to serious,
Like a good old sailor I will depart.
Because I’m A most wanted man, like Phillip Hoffman.
That will never lose their decorum, unlike Roseanne.
Because I’ve witnessed worse ****,
Than x-mans last stand.
******* think I’m ludicrous.
Although I’ve had good chicks and bad chicks,
I believe that the comparison is superfluous.
Also, I’m not that fast nor furious!
But I am on the cusp of greatness,
While others are stuck in stasis.
The same ones whose words,
Are more cheap than Payless.
******* be like Betty Botter,
They be bitter and bother brothers.
That butter em up till they toast.
Should’ve listened to the warnings of my mother.
But it’s hard when you’re pride, not the only thing being stroked.
****, gotta watch out for ***’s and robbers.
Gotta watch out, because consequences have a cost.

I don’t want to surrender,
But I’m falling down the rabbit hole,
Like Alice, but this ain’t no wonderland.
Tell me can you understand?

My feet are weak,
My head is numb.
My heart is bleeding out.
Can’t see the sun.
The darkness never sleeps.
My eyes grow weary.
My ears are deaf.
The only thing left is mouth.
Tell me can you hear me?
Can you hear me?


The pressure builds,
The feelings yearn.
The demons are attacking.
Knocking me around.
Taking turns.
As spin outta control.
All I can think is…
How do I stop the hurt?
Can I make this work?

I don’t want to surrender,
But I’m falling down the rabbit hole,
Like Alice, but this ain’t no wonderland.
Tell me can you understand?

They be crying to me,
They be fighting the heat,
Think i’ll let it slide,
Must be out they mind.
Take a seat.

They be crying to me,
Ain’t got no time,
Ain’t got no beef,
Muddying the carpets,
Prepare for cleats.

Can’t handle the heat,
Get the **** out the kitchen.
Watching em sweat & pant, looking more purple than a beet.
Tucking and rolling, didn’t I tell ya not to be slipping?
Out of pocket like pipen, taking a retreat.
Think ya was French, pardon my disposition.
Whilst soldiers die in the trenches,
Clout rappers do what they can to attain attention.
But when ***** gets too real they pull a takashi,
To avoid 69 years in detention.
****.
What the **** happened?
Tell me what happened?

They be crying to me,
They be fighting the heat,
Think i’ll let it slide,
Must be out they mind.
Take a seat.

They be crying to me,
Ain’t got no time,
Ain’t got no beef,
Muddying the carpets,
Prepare for cleats.

The voices in the mind are a poison,
Internalized oppression taking away what was not already stolen.
The voices seep in, even when I be dozing.
Becoming a nightmare turned reality,
No wonder why I’m broken.

The hatred pierces the veil,
Cross bearing down, grab the nails!
A savage that must be kept sterile.
Internal sin got me feeling like the devil!
Drinking fire water by the barrel.
Thorns digging into the brain, father I’ve failed.
Feel like I’m in a spiral about to go down in flames like I’m Spyro.
The angry be boiling, got me toiling, off the rail.
Lost without morals, feeling as useless as a broken arrow.
Spear slides in the ribs, got me pale.
Bleeding out, pleading out, faith is frail.
Drowning in the deep, bought to exhale.
Grasping, begging, as onlookers watch me flail.
Arms spread out like a scale.
Will I prevail or Peril?

The voices in the mind are a poison,
Internalized oppression taking away what was not already stolen.
The voices seep in, even when I be dozing.
Becoming a nightmare turned reality,
No wonder why I’m broken.

Spat in the face because of my race.
Jeered by people that never had a taste.
Never had to risk, never had to face.
Trauma that is interlaced.
With people being murdered or go missing without a trace.
Jeered by people that never had their history erased.
Who always had a place, always had a plate.
Have you even seen the over representation rates?
For goodness sakes!
Told to get over it as we are getting maced.
Told to get over it as we are being disgraced.
Told to get over it as we are being *****.
With the inner voice becoming internalized hate.
And toxic cycles not hitting the breaks.
Simply because people aren’t willing to embrace!
Simply because religious zealots convinced society that we aren’t loved by Christ.
To those religious zealots I say; you obviously don’t know **** about Christ!

The voices in the mind are a poison,
Internalized oppression taking away what was not already stolen.
The voices seep in, even when I be dozing.
Becoming a nightmare turned reality,
No wonder why I’m broken.

I…
Am torn inside.
I….
Am lost and cannot hide…
And I…
Feel cursed.
Can I be rebirthed?
Is it too late?
To cure the hurt?
When I…
Feel like I have no worth?


I…
Am torn inside
I…
Am lost and cannot hide…
And I…
Cannot escape.
Cannot face.
Cannot relate.
This criminal mind,
That is fuelled by hate.
Wondering if it’s too late?
To cure the hurt?
When I…
Feel like I have no worth!

Oh, I…
Need a sweet release,
My mind is chained,
And so are my feet!
Oh, I…
Need a sweet release,
My mind is chained,
And so are my feet!

I…
Am a slave.
I…
Am trapped in what I’ve made!
And I…
Wish I could trade.
The sins that weigh,
On my heart that keep me dismayed.
Is too late?
To cure the hurt?
When I…
Feel like I have no worth!

I…
Am ashamed.
I…
Am drained and starting to decay.
And I’m…
Not sure I can sustain,
Can contain.
This ******* pain!
Is it too late?
To cure the hurt?
When I…
Feel like I have no worth!

Oh, I…
Need a sweet release,
My mind is chained,
And so are my feet!
Oh, I…
Need a sweet release,
My mind is chained,
And so are my feet!

Waiting at auntie’s place,
Waiting for a father,
That would never show,
So, instead me and aunty would play games.
To escape my tearful flow.
At aunties place drinking creamer straight up.
The sweetness fuelled me for hours.
Playing in parks or doing activities.
Until my mom would come pick me up.
Where I would have to discuss,
The pent up feelings I had for my father,
Once again not showing up.
Does he even love me?
Does he even give a ****?
These thoughts and questions haunted me,
The trauma followed me.
Acted up in school, but instead of empathy.
Teachers told me to man up.
How the **** can I man up?
Without a father figure; who is also older than me,
Unable to man up?
These thoughts and questions haunted me,
With self-hatred, self-harm, and negativity following me.
Inflicting harm to a once warm and innocent heart.

Jargon gets muddled, to mouth is to fumble, to ***** is to muggle.
Snitching means trouble, bragging meets knuckle, ego gets nuzzled.
Ten hut that’s a huddle, life is a struggle, especially for those that stay suckled.
Like Malcolm in the middle, might just go unstable,
So, best not pop my bubble!
Got to stay on your toes like Barney Rubble,
Can’t ever stay idle in the jungle!
Where desperados need the narcan,
Overdosing daily, organs go to the black market, **** what a bargain.
Indulge in the bourbon, might just light up a Cuban, if I die it’s outta my hands.
Welcome to the land of the ******,
Where no one has a long lifespan.
So, get sloushed; do a keg stand.
Yeah, yeah.
Gotta party up, it’s weekend.
Yeah, yeah.
Not much else to do when you’re drowning in the deep end.
Yeah, yeah.
Our worlds on fire, that’s for sure.
Guess smash mouth was right,
Everyone’s a victim, everyone’s poor.

Hey now you’re a rap star,
Keep the show going,
Get laid.
Hey now you’re a rap star.
Keep the drugs and ***** flowing.
Get paid.
And all that clout is gold.
Only popping pills breaks the mold.

Don’t get it twisted or entangled,
Name might be on a banner,
But it certainly ain’t star spangled.
Fame is a curse filled with idle chatter.
That’s slaps harder than a Will Smith scandal.
Where money is more vain than Jada.
Gee I don’t know Jane,
Perhaps we should be more like Greta.
Taking names like Andrew, is that dude even humane?
Narcissists are insane, especially those that believe they’re Alfa and Omega.
Get too full of yourself, might just end up worse than Ye.
Pride comes before the fall, man you should’ve known better.
Our worlds on fire, that’s for sure.
Guess smash mouth was right,
Everyone’s a victim, everyone’s poor.

Hey now you’re a rap star,
Keep the show going,
Get laid.
Hey now you’re a rap star.
Keep the drugs and ***** flowing.
Get paid.
And all that clout is gold.
Only popping pills breaks the mold.

Sick in the head,
Should’ve taken my meds,
Going off the chain,
With Tears being shed.
Like a hypocrite,
I wanna be alive,
But I also want to be dead.

Carnal creature inside,
Ain’t no place to hide.
Feel like I’m outta my mind.
Feel like I’m going to die.
Some got scars on they wrist,
I got scars behind my eyes.
I’m adrift and shut-down
Shut up let me fantasize.
Gotta numb the pain.
Cause I’m traumatized.
Feel like a clown.
Becoming something I don’t recognize.
Where evil becomes glamourized.
And good becoming desensitized.
Carnal nature is a monster,
That’s eats away everything,
Till I’m dead inside.
Till I’m dead inside.

Sick in the head,
Should’ve taken my meds,
Going off the chain,
With Tears being shed.
Like a hypocrite,
I wanna be alive,
But I also want to be dead.

Washing my brain with intrusive thoughts,
Could drop kick a baby,
Ain’t got no heart.
Carnal nature overtaking me,
Feel like dissecting animals into little parts.
Cause I was deemed a monster,
Before I ever learned my A,B, C’s.
So, much for the world being my oyster.
Had a teacher try to diagnose me with ODD and ADD,
Are you kidding me?
Jump in front of a car head first,
Got me believing my dark skin got me cursed!
Can things get any worse?
Believing I am the reason my parents divorced.
Got bullied without remorse.
According to statistics I’ll end in jail or a hearse.

Sick in the head,
Should’ve taken my meds,
Going off the chain,
With Tears being shed.
Like a hypocrite,
I wanna be alive,
But I also want to be dead.

Fall in line like an admiral, ten hut.
Let’s get to it, follow like an animal, nine mutt.
Shut up and take it, don’t break, unless you ain’t cut.
But it’ll be a mistake to give up, even if you gotta fight in the seventh front.
Like an allied shinobi, gotta use your inner sixth sense and enjoy the hunt.
Roger, five by five, time to take em out for lunch.
Find the high ground like kenobi, don’t try for stunts.
Four sheets to the wind, consuming Captain Crunch.
***** comes in three’s, wonder what demon imma bout to confront.
But I’ll stay second to none, not about to back down to no dunce.
Sometimes fighting is a must.
Gotta be defending those you love and trust.

Only got one shot,
Watch closely or get dropped,
Sneak in and out like solid snake,
Metal gear knowledge best not forsake.

Only got one life,
Hatched lonely, life’s a rooster,
Gotta prepare to get cocked.
Or take out the shooter.
**** or be killed.
Do what you gotta do.

Hurry up maggot,
In a slurry, mopping my failures.
Drop and give me twenty squats.
Bury my emotions, bottling up the pressures.
Plenty of traumas keep me frozen in knots.
Numbing it with oxytocin, pain becoming pleasure.
Withdraw the clip on the terrorists.
In withdrawal discarding things I treasured.
Recovery is futile, for I am where the terror is.
Coming to a home unknown, love should’ve cherished it.
Not empathetic to the rot, I’m infested with.
Became a solid snake, and I got to live with it.

Only got one shot,
Watch closely or get dropped,
Sneak in and out like solid snake,
Metal gear knowledge best not forsake.

Only got one life,
Hatched lonely, life’s a rooster,
Gotta prepare to get cocked.
Or take out the shooter.
**** or be killed.
Do what you gotta do.

Rolling up to the joint,
Smoked mirrors,
Fogged perspective,
Disappearing amongst the crowd.
***** loud.
But I don’t mind.
Cause it removes the negativity within the mind.
The joint helps rewind the clock,
Beaming to the sky.
Can’t tell if I’m about to meet God or Spock?

Rolling, smoking, token child.
Bowling, inhaling and blowing out fire like a dragon.
Yo lighten up, pour the liquor.
Drown that inner broken child.
Don’t think about it,
Let’s get wild.

Having a bowl, no cheerios.
Taking more hits than a D&D dice roll.
Chip, chip, cheerio.
Ain’t into football, but I do love the superbowl.
Trapped in an unending scenario.
But I gotta do what I gots to do to not feel low.
Yo, turn up the stereo.
Stick with the flow.
Cruising along in a Camaro.
In an attempt to escape the black hole.
Woah, don’t ruin the glow.
Take another hit, get up and go.
Until ya return to nostalgic times,
When the only frustrating thing in life…
Was playing banjo.

Rolling, smoking, token child.
Bowling, inhaling and blowing out fire like a dragon.
Yo lighten up, pour the liquor.
Drown that inner broken child.
Don’t think about it,
Let’s get wild.

Sing a song of sixpence,
Drunk off the rye,
Tricked blackbird sentenced,
Skunked, yet overwhelmed with pride.
A drunken fool don’t know better.
A man used to taken licks,
By his own half-cut father.
And was abandoned by his mother,
At the age of six.
Growing up to believe that his value,
Was only worth six cents.
Piling more weight onto the ice,
Wondering when he’ll breakthrough?
Trapped in the ducts,
Because that’s the only time he can vent.
Tried health services once,
But they tried to crucify him like Christ.
Wrong skin tone, so he outta luck!
Left to the vices, let the demons pounce!
Lashing out because the only time people listen,
Is when you’re a risk.

Some folks choose to see the actions,
But ignore the cries.
Need some glasses,
To see how some people are vandalized.
Yet some still stay desensitized.
Death on every block,
Don’t mean ****, till it reaches our lives.

The resentful branches so far attached,
The sour leaves, leave nothing to be desired.
The bark once of tree once strong has turned hollow.
The bitter roots seeped with the tears of regret.
The fruit sown are as rotten as the mind.
When did the tree once vibrant turn decrepit?
Where did the life go?
Why are the other trees still so vibrant unlike me?
Grown from the same soil yet had different outcomes.
Faced the same harsh winds yet stayed steadfast.
How can they gleam towards the future sun.
When I stay stuck in the past?

Checks and mental imbalances,
**** bounces as quickly as recovery and relapses.
******* madness, if only hope could increase like taxes.
Take licks, with ego and body piling up with bruises.
Not sure if I’m living or grinding?
Grinding on *******,
Till 9 months later,
Child support be knocking.
****!
Why must my actions have equal and opposite reactions?
Getting distracted by these fatal attractions.
Trying to appeal to my emptiness,
Because I long for satisfaction.
But no matter what I do ***** always lacking.
Don’t mind me,
My high is just failing and I’m crashing.

Crash and burn.
When will **** take a right turn?
Will I ever learn?
Or will things continue to…
Crash and burn.

Think imma about to go insane,
Watching as everyone jumps onto the drug train.
They may be over the moon,
But soon they’ll be over the cliff,
That’s what happens when ya over consume,
Not knowing yawl was doomed the moment ya decided to take a sniff.
Pay the piper, pay for bricks.
What’s the foundation?
What you painting with?
Crash and burn,
In hopes to make it rich,
Crash and burn,
Can’t escape the itch.
Crash and burn,
Till ya sleep with fish.
Life’s a game, a game of risk.
Can you afford to take the hit?

Crash and burn.
When will this **** take a right turn?
Will I ever learn?
Or will things continue to…
Crash and burn.

Made it out the fire and brimstone,
Don’t need no Powerade,
because I never tire slim,
Told to run it in rather than run my mouth,
Be more like a Flintstone.
But **** it I’m a renegade,
Even if the tales grim,
Told to give up but that’s not what I’m about.
I prefer traversing the unknown!
Built different, that’s how I’m made!
So keep up the pressure,
Can’t ever make my inner desires dim!
I’m an underdog like Tiny Tim,
Because there have been days I’ve gone without!
And I’ve been degraded because of my skin tone!
And yeah there were days I wanted to fly away.
Days I wanted to expire, but when **** got dark I prayed and sang hymns.
The type slaves used to sing down south.
Till the day I’m set free and find shalom.

May we all find peace,
In this land of hell.
Even struggles can teach.
Just got to remove the veil.

May we all find nourishment,
In this land of hell,
Be careful not to be belligerent,
Cause you never if you’ll end up eating dollar store meals!

Expressive as onomatopoeia,
Come in with that boom, bang, clash.
That assalamualakum ****.
A dismissive villain with mad ideas,
Make these bad divas act up like Madea.
Rebel and find out *****!
When I lay this piece upon ya sis!
Nobody ruthless as this!
So dark and faceless, ya would think…
I was made in the abyss.
Made something out nothing,
Big bang up in this!
I sustain, pull the clip.
Like Rick James, I’m the ****!
Cold blooded, **** the simp.
Yes I made it, I admit!

Coked out chollos,
Cringe when I hear em say yolo,
Sirens ring out,
Uh oh here come the popo,
The supposed superheroes,
That is till they be tempted by dinero,
Eating out the hands of monsters,
Whose the real bad guy? Al Pacino.
Want protection pay the mobsters.
Wondering the difference between that and our tax dollars?
Don’t kid yourself brother!
Politicians are the real Godfathers!
Where God is replaced by the almighty dollar.
That could turn a scholar,
To a Rottweiler.
A sharped dressed deviant that wears a white collar,
But instead of being arrested they are honoured.
Left feeling sick to my stomach,
Watching this union between cops and robbers.

Living in a reality where dark knights get annihilated.
Matched the profile,
So, better prepare to be violated!
Don’t matter if all your life you’ve been docile.
That **** don’t matter when it comes to hatred!
Where tragedies like the green mile,
Happen every other day!
Justice is dead,
If it ever really lived in the first place!

Darkened canvas, broken spine.
Oh, the pain is so **** divine!
Shattered heart, blackened eyes.
The blood soothes all the lies.
Devil looking at me.
Mirror full of cries.
Am I doomed to suffer all my life?

The black ooze dripping off your tongue,
That auroramtic ash, spilling out your lungs,
They blind me.
They bind me.
To the very toxic desires.
That drown me.
Flushing away the offspring.
My future, because I don’t believe anyone…
Can love me!
And I can’t speak out.
Because when I do…
All I hear is laughing.
If laughter is the medicine.
Than why is it killing?
Ripping off my flesh!
Till my heart succumbs to the freezing.

Eating away at my soul!
How can I let go?
I’m losing control!
I wanna to quit, I want to let go!
But all you chose to hear…
Are the cries of a ******!

Darkened canvas, broken spine.
Oh, the pain is so **** divine!
Shattered heart, blackened eyes.
The blood soothes all the lies.
Devil looking at me.
Mirror full of cries.
Am I doomed to suffer all my life?

Will I ever find peace?
Living in a house that is not my home.
Like korn, I feel like I’m a freak on leash.
Got to suppress the demon with cortisone.
If only life was a beach, instead of a *****.
Thought **** would change, as soon as I got rich.
I used all my cards, but still gotta go fish!
My heads in the clouds and my joy’s in the ditch.
Man, can I ever find rest?
Feeling like a mouse, just squeaking on by.
Try to do my best.
Until I ultimately fail and go get high!
Cycle of trauma reverberated.
Leading those close to me feel devastated.
Who knew the lust and vices,
Would lead to self-hatred?

Darkened canvas, broken spine.
Oh, the pain is so **** divine!
Shattered heart, blackened eyes.
The blood soothes all the lies.
Devil looking at me.
Mirror full of cries.
Am I doomed to suffer all my life?

Eating Stale ramen noodles,
Fiending, wish I could make a killing,
Could **** a sain man for his strudel,
Tale as old as Jim Pickens.
Insane man driven and drowning in a **** puddle.
Ugly as a muggle, powerless but ***** it!
I’m high as the ceiling!
What is life? Where is the meaning?
Where innocent lambs are fed to demons!
Tried to go to church, but got ***** by the reverend!
Why should I strive for heaven?
Ramming head on collision, into a dead end.
Like Wile E. Coyote.
Numb the failures with Peyote.
Ain’t had a suite life like Zack & Cody.
Trying to overcome all the barriers that try to stop me.
But can’t escape the serenade of a fourty.
Because it’s the only thing that blows my mind, compadre.

***** you, you don’t know me!
Don’t know… the sacrifices I had to take numpty!
Don’t understand the pain,
Cause the grass is greener on your side Charlie.
So, ***** you, but I wish you the best.
Enjoy your little rest,
Till I put a gun to your chest.
Because where I come from,
It’s the survival of the fittest!

I come from the gutter *****,
Where the **** is!
Eating *****, but not the type you think it is.
***** I’m dangerous!
I make out with chainsaws & smoke roaches.
I’m taking revenge on you!
Because you poached us!
Divided our people like ya was Moses!
& than introduced the fire water,
Man… that **** nearly broke us!
Where desperate chollos, sell ya their daughters!
A slave to vices, that eventually lead to mental disorders!
Land destroyed, divided by borders!
Where once honourable people got turned to *******!
Savages that would do anything to attain the figures!
Designed, desired and owned by the winners!

So again I say…

***** you, you don’t know me!
Don’t know… the sacrifices I had to take numpty!
Don’t understand the pain,
Cause the grass is greener on your side Charlie.
So, ***** you, but I wish you the best.
Enjoy your little rest,
Till I put a gun to your chest.
Because where I come from,
It’s the survival of the fittest!

Don’t give a **** if ya into me,
Imma send ya snowflakes to therapy,
I am raw like Ren and Stimpy.
Drunk off the Yak and the Hennessy.
Skate around cancelation like I’m Wayne Gretzky.
Imma punch ya wiggers out faster than Mike Tyson.
*****, I’m more sinister than M.Bison.
Just ask your ***** bout the time I shattered her *****!
Yeah, I made her more wet than Poseidon.
****, Classy J is a demon!
Wonder what this Cree ruffian be planning?
How can we combat a savage without reason?
For he is like Galactus to us hatchlings.
The devours of souls, so wake up! Stop napping!
Classy J ain’t got time for your yapping!
Like an anime protagonist, my limits;
I will soon be surpassing!
While others be trailing,
Spiralling down worse than Kanye!
Sorry not sorry!
****, imma bout to go off on a rampage like Tony Khan, Hey…
Ye as you losing billions I’ll be sitting back drinking Grand Marnier!
Perhaps ya just need your head bashed in again,
In order to regain some sense of sanity!

****… I’m feeling outta control!
Darkness consumes me,
I’m feeling it’s pull!
But unlike E.T., it’s too late to phone home!
I was broke, even before my credit card got declined!
The glass has shattered,
And so has my mind!

Feelings left unresolved,
How is it that humans evolve?
Yet I stagnate unfulfilled?
Perhaps, because I treat God like a happy meal?
Numb the pain, take another pill.
Shut the **** up, I know the drill.
Losing myself to the venom, becoming ill.
Eyes grow berserk, the minds become a rind of a lemon shell.
Soured my soul, how can I heal?
When my oppressors are in jail,
Got no one else to blame,
I’m the one keeping myself in hell.
Oh joy, got to swallow another bitter pill.
Insanity plagues my actions like a hamster wheel.
Watching as humans adapt to a reality,
That I can never feel.
How can I expect a holy father to answer prayers,
If I’m struggling with the idea that he’s not even real?
Perhaps, because I don’t know a father that is holy?
Abandoned, yet always yearning to be worthy.
Should I blame my father,
Or the system that did my people *****?
That ironically came in the name of the almighty.

Suffering in silence.
Enduring through resilience.
Everyday I battle the negative self-talk,
That tries to infect me like a virus.
Does adversity define us?
Because although I’m surviving,
I wouldn’t refer to myself as the finest, nor the fittest.

Desires lost due to self medication.
Expired hope, feelings numb to the condemnation.
Hard to be a free man with priors,
Even if you dress nice and are clean shaven.
Past regrets and actions have found their equation.
Evicted convict chained since the day they took formation.
Hard to ace the test with Ace’s, let alone get a well financed and funded education.
Knowledge hindered by trauma passed down from generation to generation.
But instead of evaluation and validation,
One is meet with subjugation and marginalization.
Are you starting to see the correlations?
Can’t adapt or evolve, because of unchanged racist policies, acts, and legislations.
With our history undermined by ignorant Caucasians.
Should I blame myself?
Or the ones that caused this devastation?
That came with promises of salvation.

Suffering in silence.
Enduring through resilience.
Everyday I battle the negative self-talk,
That tries to infect me like a virus.
Does adversity define us?
Because although I’m surviving,
I wouldn’t refer to myself as the finest, nor the fittest.

Fangs of malice,
Dig into the imbalance.
Hard to give up the taste from the chalice.
Hard to give up living in a palace.
Money gained from silence.
Blood is thicker than water,
But fill up what the mind is.
Big headed ego, that’s where the pride is.
Can’t ever please your highness.
Cant escape the actions that were heinous.
Even if you pour the wine down your esophagus.
Or snort up coke like snuffleupagus.
Hard to be genuine, when you where the public is.
Wear a mask, fake a smile, save your images.
Donating money to the same kids,
That work in slave workplaces.
Where they work to keep up your appearances.
Everyone’s a hypocrite, live with it!

In brightest day and in darkest night.
As bullets spray in knife fights.
Could make a full clip of those in fright.
Buried with the full clipped magazine on cite.
If only we could unload the trauma as fast we upload the clip.
But we ain’t here for compassion, we here for clicks.
The donkey is dead yet we still beat it.
Treating these issues like John Wayne treats the Indigenous.
Trying our best to **** it.
****.

In brightest days and in darkest nights,
Can we find the answers to our plight.
Till the day comes where no evil escapes our sights.
And we come together, because together we have power.
That shines as brilliantly as green lanterns light!

Uh, yeah!
In the brightest days,
I dream of sunny days,
And in the darkest nights,
Gotta keep the money saved.
Rest In Peace to Takeoff, who died too young man such a shame!
Hope you are experiencing those sunny days!
Shooting hoops with Kobe, and making music with Jam Master Jay.
To all those who’ve lost someone!
Let their positive influence support you through the darkest days!
We have a long ways to go to figure out this maze.
That tries to divide us and keep us caged.
It’s time to rise up, and be that healthy change!
So, that the next generations can experience brighter days!

In brightest days and in darkest nights,
Can we find the answers to our plight.
Till the day comes where no evil escapes our sights.
And we come together, because together we have power.
That shines as brilliantly as green lanterns light!

Time is ticking faster,
What’s a slave without a master?
Running away, but can’t escape disaster.
Could change your image, but you can’t change the monster.

Mistress of demons, passion is blind.
Tangled reality, falling behind.
Explaining sanity to an insane mind.
Can you remain human, if you cross that line?
Make a choice, toss that dime.
Mistress of demons, passion is blind.

Oh, sweet bitter clown, don’t you frown.
The circus continues, take your crown.
Ring around the rosey, we all fall down.
Death is just the beginning, we have you now.
Dance for me jester, I own you now!
Poor sweet bitter clown, don’t you frown.

Consume the poison.
Drop by drop.
Understanding the lesson?
Drop by drop.
Consume the message.
Make it stop, make it stop!
Lay in the bed, you’ve chosen.
Don’t sob, don’t sob.

Mistress of demons, passion is blind.
Tangled reality, falling behind.
Explaining sanity to an insane mind.
Can you remain human, if you cross that line?
Make a choice, toss that dime.
Mistress of demons, passion is blind.

Oh, sweet bitter clown, don’t you frown.
Oh, sweet bitter clown, don’t you frown.
Poor, sweet bitter clown, don’t you frown.
Poor,sweet bitter clown, don’t you frown.

Faster than death,
Feels like I’m losing my breath,
Enraged and caged, locked away.
Everything is staged, hope decays.

Master of none, yet still pulling your strings.
Twisting your facts, smashing your dreams.
Blinded by lies, discarded as playthings.
Numb to the illusion, conforming to your daydream.
Master of none,
What have we become?
Master of none,
What have we done?
Continue to dream, because the reality is too harsh son.
Master of none,
Master of none,
Throwing ourselves into the Sun,
Because we cannot accept what we’ve become!

Crucified like spiders, rotting away to desires.
Suffering turned pleasure, embracing the fire.
Until our final days come, and we dive into that lake of fire.
A painful deceit soothed by choirs.

Everyone longs to dream,
No one wants a nightmare.
Don’t be like puppets pulled by strings.
Cause it’ll leave you trapped in despair.
A mist that twists facts,
Which at first seems swell, until you find yourself in hell.

Master of none, yet still pulling your strings.
Twisting your facts, smashing your dreams.
Blinded by lies, discarded as playthings.
Numb to the illusion, conforming to your daydream.
Master of none,
What have we become?
Master of none,
What have we done?
Continue to dream, because reality is too harsh son.
Master of none,
Master of none,
Throwing ourselves into the Sun,
Because we cannot accept what we’ve become!

Faster than death,
Feels like I’m losing my breath,
Enraged and caged, locked away.
Everything is staged, hope decays.

Verse 1:
Spending a million days chilling like a baller, but I’m still a bachelor,
I’m the master *****, the funk villian,
Killing these ill feelings, like a *******.
Call me Captain Picard, galaxy speeding.
Bumping to tunes, in my Lincoln Navigator.
Living fate with taro cards, ***** bussing.
Cussing out haters, phonies is paper weight.
Knock ‘em out, let me demonstrate.

Verse 2:
Demonstrating, how to knock ‘em out,
These paperweight phonies, and haters imma cuss em out.
Buss em ****, using taro cards, living out fate,
Navigating while linking my tunes, to start bumping.
Speeding through galaxies, like Captain Picard.
I’m a *******, feelings so ill I could ****.
Got that villain funk, ******* call me master.
Balling like a bachelor, just chilling each day spending millions.

Verse 3:
Game has changed, so has the times.
Instead of writing rhymes, peoples is snorting em.
Deranged turn coats full of phlegm.
Instead of pronouncing vowels, they’s mumbling.
Music has become the chum bucket,
With occasional golden gems.
Shout out Denzel, Joey, Johnson, kaan, and Williams.
And I’ll be ****** like a John ham mad man,
If I start shooting up drugs and end up in neverland.
Flying, off the handle, like a dysfunctional Peter Pan.

Verse 4:
I’ve seen dysfunctional Peter’s, plan not pan out,
So, many times they’s handles have fallen off.
Going off to neverland, because them drugs shoot ‘em up.
**** man these kids madder than John Ham.
Why can’t they be more creative like, Williams, kaan, Johnson, Joey, and Denzel man?
I guess not every gems golden,
Like expecting a bucket of chum producing good music.
With many mumbling vowels, bet they can’t even pronounce phlegm.
Fulls coats turned red, feel betrayed, because the sounds turned deranged.
With rappers snorting lines, instead of writing them.
I guess the times has changed, and I guess so too must the game.

Verse 5:
Asked to choose between a beemer, Benz, or Bentley.
All the same when I’m drinking henny on the highway.
Swerving on them fools, than repent on Sunday.
Attempting not to catch a fine, at least till payday.
Spiralling downhill, mayday mayday.
Declining like the popularity of Spyro.
My internal plains a pyro, La lumbre, lumbre.
Think I need a vk, chilling in the jungle with dk.

Verse 6:
Go bananas in the jungle like Dk,
Just swinging, chilling, relaxing like it’s a vk.
Dancing with La lumbre, lumbre,
No fly zone during the eternal pyro.
**** popularity, imma burn down this ***** like I’m Spyro.
Imma never decline someone screaming, mayday, mayday.
If I did I know that would be a downhill spiral.
Where payday just another day,
But I pretend things are fine,
Attempting smiles, whilst receiving a sundae.
Only fools repent, can’t swerve me compadre.
Doing things my way,
Getting drunk and high,
Addictions are all the same.
Numbing the pain, by paying for fancy cars like Bentley’s, Benz’s, and beemers.
Because to choose between would be insane.

I’d rather have a red face than red eyes,
***** a rat race, become tattered up, until you run out of time.
A bunch of misfits, abandoned to find.
The answers to questions within our broken minds.
In a world where some show mercy, while others do crime.
It’s a wonder, what’ll happen when ya put your life on the line.
We all share a burden unspoken, yet say we’re all fine.
When truth is we all know deep down, we lying.
You reap what you sow, so it shouldn’t be surprising!
If your fields filled with land mines and…
You got no hope arriving.
So, in order to cope, here comes the self-medicating.
Numbing circumstances that strip hope, which is so ******* draining.
Parading fake smiles, doing what it takes to stay surviving.
Even if it means stealing or killing.
Being seen as a red faced villain,
A savage that’s needs extermination.
Which effects those just minding their business,
Trying to make a honest living.
1 rotten apple leads to justification.
Of the eradication of a red faced nation.
That’s why I hate over-generalization.
If only we could have safe conversations,
Because these misunderstandings.
Are what results in the ****** up reality,
We currently live in.
How can we be a land of the free?
When all my brothers and sisters make up most of the population, of those in prison!
Some people call me a hypocrite for believing in God,
But my war is focused on these so called Christians.
That justify their ancestors evil mission,
To cleanse this diverse nation.
Through colonization.
If God loves everyone, why do you be hating?
If God loves everyone, why do priests keep ******?
If God loves everyone, why do many believers hate gays than?
I serve a God that is merciful, a lot of ya’ll serve one that is all about ****-nation.
We are not the same, like the difference between liberalization and indoctrination.
Think I need a vacation.
From the division and subjugation.
They say it ain’t about race,
Until it’s their heads on the curbed pavement.
Seeing red, we should be enraged, yet we are complacent.
With many just excepting, that no matter what we do,
We’ll always be vagrants.
They say it ain’t about politics,
Till the laws created by the privileged,
Indicate your people as deviant.
And I know some people may get red faced when,
Challenged by the fact that the ingredients,
That make up our shared history are very heinous,
But as many of your people say to mine,
Get over it and **** my *****!

The innovation of a dictator,
Causes separation,
Which got many within the population,
unaware that they serving darth vader,
Because they put on a good presentation,
Motivating sheepish division’s,
Towards scapegoats and illusions,
Where history becomes science fiction,
Even democracies we forget the definition,
Because if there are rigged elections?
Or first past the poll systems,
And them politicians,
Are able to get away with tax evasion,
It can make one question the equation,
The creation of a democratic nation,
The starts wars and invasions,
On third world nations,
Which they claim is to fight terror,
When really all they care about are their oil reservations.
I guess it’s true what they say,
You can never satisfy a dragons layer.
In the land of free,
Except for those who actually live there.
But these simps are programmed not to care,
Get out the safety net, and let them become dependent on welfare.
Bounce the checks, put it on credit cards, gotta keep ‘em in debt.
Life ain’t fair,
Thrown in the deep end, even if ya can’t swim.
I swear reality is written by the brother grim.
So, much despair, yet becoming desensitized to all them fatalities.
It’s just the trimming off the fat, you either sink or swim.
What we need is comradery!
But all we have now is a bunch of division.
Because that’s what benefits these corrupt leaders & politicians.

They say ignorance is bliss,
Till one is hit with deaths kiss,
Because those in the golden palace,
Are really the terrorists,
They say ignorance is bliss,
Till it leads ya into crisis,
Honestly our government is more evil than Isis!

Let’s start with Ralph Klien,
A killer more ruthless than a shooter from columbine,
This little swine, flooded the inner city,
With hundreds of bodies from Alberta hospitals,
That were deemed as useless.
In other words those who suffer from mental health, as well as, welfare recipients,
Which lead to a crisis,
With increases in crime and suicide,
So, he gave everyone blood money, to make it up to us,
But that doesn’t let slide,
An act so treacherous.
Yet some idiots still think, he was as great as Jesus.
But unless you were white, rich,
oil workers or part of big business,
He was really Judas.
And if you don’t like these facts,
You can kiss my ***.
Now onto Castro jr, oops I meant Justin Trudeau.
Either way he is a ******* ***** himbo,
That claims he’s a feminist,
Yet gropes journalists,
He claims he’s a feminist,
Yet kicks two prominent women out of his party for being honest.
He claims he is for the Indigenous,
Yet only met 2 out of the five promises,
94 calls to action must’ve broken your answer machine,
Cause you still ain’t answering us!
It’s funny how a person who does black face,
Is the one trying to cancel us!
Where the ******* clean water Justin?
Maybe you prefer it to be poisonous.
Because you still haven’t reviewed or repealed historical legislation,
That still to this day discriminates against us.
And don’t even get me started on that pipeline,
That went right through us!
But as soon as we started blockades,
You sent the rcmp on us,
That was created by John A.Macdonald,
As a means to destroy us!
And what is this about supplying weapons to terrorists?
If you voted for him you should be embarrassed!
Oh, and I’m not done yet, with this idiot!
How about those trips paid for by the WE Charity?
I guess when it’s comes to conflicts of interests you’ve had plenty,
Hell you’ve even been sponsored by an illegal gambling ring.
Or how about violating,
The ethics commission by vacationing,
At Aga Khans private island like some king.
Ya ******* ****!
Stop pretending like your **** don’t stink!
We are over $100 billion in debt because of you,
As Canadians we are literally at the brink!
I guess that’s why they say…

Ignorance is bliss,
Till one is hit with deaths kiss,
Because those in the golden palace,
Are really the terrorists,
They say ignorance is bliss,
Till it leads ya into crisis,
Honestly our government is more evil than Isis!

Feel like I’ve become desensitized,
Blood on my hands,
But got sand in the eyes.
Don’t need a cancel culture,
Because my moral conscience,
Won’t let me hide.
And the trauma got me making excuses,
But how else does one overcome genocide?
And I can’t lie,
I feel empty inside,
Thinking of over 1000 ways to die.
Imprisoned within my mind.
It’s like I’m zombie-fied.
With everyday being a melancholy overdrive.
And my capacity is on low power mode,
In order to just survive.
But although I’m surviving,
I’m not truly living.
So, desensitized,
And Running out of feelings.
Have no moments to rest,
Because I can’t stop overthinking.
With persistent thoughts to numb it all,
By taking drugs, gambling, and drinking.
Really every addiction at this point looks appealing,
Yet I know what I got to do to start healing,
But its hard to explain,
Because I feel like a card dealer but I ain’t dealing.
With these issues because I’d rather start running,
Thinking I can out-run all these problems,
That keep on piling.
And when people say how awesome I am,
It’s unnerving,
Because complements,
Are something to, which I am undeserving.
At least that’s what I tell myself every morning.
Before I take my happy pill,
To give off the effect that everything in my life,
Is so ******* charming.
Even though in reality I am drowning.
I’ve become desensitized,
With everything around me distorting.
Desensitized to the violence,
Just another dead brother and sister,
Yet everyone’s ******* silent,
Doesn’t matter whether your defiant or compliant,
Not sure what’s worse the assailant?
Or the sirens?
When both be killing us!
If only people could take this **** serious!
Instead of calling us delirious.
Guess I’m not the only one that desensitized!
If you don’t believe racism exists,
That just means that you’re climatized!
Unable to recognize, that you’re indoctrinized.
Where hate, becomes normalized.
How can we expect change?
When we’re desensitized!

My heart has become a revolving door,
Don’t know who I am anymore.
Feel like I’m empty to the core,
Never satisfied, always wanting more.
How can it be?
That the richest person,
Can still be poor?

My minds a minefield,
But I’m not prepared for war.
Nooooo, woah oo yeah.
Was not prepared for war!

Yeah, I’m trapped in a war!
Trapped in a war!
Yeah, yeah!
Feeling empty,
Yet always wanting more,
Always wanting more.
Yeah, yeah!

I’m just trapped in a war!
Trapped in a war!
Yeah, Yeah!
Feeling empty,
Yet always wanting more,
Always wanting more.
Yeah, yeah!

Trapped in my mind,
With these mines all around me.
Let out a cry for help,
Hoping someone comes and finds me.
I’m so broken and so lost.
Yeah I’m lonely.
Not designed to be confined,
With these thoughts of suicide,
Yeah they haunt me.
And I know it’s unhealthy,
To keep all these emotions locked inside,
Because I know it’ll **** me.
But it’s hard to open up,
To those who don’t even know the real me.
Especially when I don’t even know,
Who the hell is the real me.
Don’t even know the real me.

Trapped in a prison,
Of my own making.
Caged to the world,
Curled up into a ball,
Overthinking my flaws,
It can be so, **** grating!
My hearts become a jigsaw,
How much more can it keep breaking?
And when I close my eyes,
Apart of me hopes,
that I wont be reawakening.
Wondering when I lost the ability,
Of chasing dreams?
Wondering when was the last time I smiled,
And it actually meant something?

My minds a minefield,
But I’m not prepared for war.
Nooooo, woah oo yeah.
Was not prepared for war!

Yeah, I’m trapped in a war!
Trapped in a war!
Yeah, yeah!
Feeling empty,
Yet always wanting more,
Always wanting more.
Yeah, yeah!

I’m just trapped in a war!
Trapped in a war!
Yeah, Yeah!
Feeling empty,
Yet always wanting more,
Always wanting more.
Yeah, yeah!

Our systems a hive mind,
Suzy sells sea shells,
But that don’t mean ****,
To a drive by.
We all mean well,
With our well of knowledge,
Trying to find the perfect porridge,
Like goldilocks,
When she broke into the bears cottage.
So, when the bears came back,
They saw that their homes were salvaged,
And if goldy ever came back,
You bet the bears would serve up,
Maximum damage!
But if they did that they’d be deemed as the savage,
Monsters to be killed.
Life’s an expensive bill.
Wonder whose going to pay for the meal?
Can’t see privilege up on that hill.
But pride will be your downfall,
Like the tale of jake and Jill.
A tale as fragile,
As Humpty Dumpty,
Trying to balance on a windowsill.
For real.
If this is reality, pass me the blue pill.

Could have all the gold chains,
But ya still locked,
Caged to a rigged game.
A pain that is like a police’s gun,
Loaded and locked.
Could have all the gold,
Yet still get shot.
Because at the end of the day,
We’ll never be goldilocks.

From being whipped and chained,
To driving whips and wearing gold chains,
Don’t kid yourself bro,
It is all the same,
All you’re doing is replacing pain,
With fleeting money and fame,
But no amount of money,
Can’t remove the blood stains,
Of our ancestors brains,
Blood that is soaked in every drive way,
That’s why I believe there is no such thing,
As a free way!
Land built off of slaves,
Land taken away,
From those who were seen as naives,
Children murdered and buried,
In unmarked graves,
Can’t remove the stains,
Can’t escape the pain,
We are all insane!
Trapped in a circular maze,
Brainwashed to obey,
Because at the end of the day,
We are taught,
What goldilocks did was okay!

Could have all the gold chains,
But ya still locked,
Caged to a rigged game.
A pain that is like a police’s gun,
Loaded and locked.
Could have all the gold,
Yet still get shot.
Because at the end of the day,
We’ll never be goldilocks.

While some be walking on sunshine,
I’ll be walking the fine line,
Between the sublime and a unhinged mind.
Quote the raven never more,
Through space and time.
Wonder if I ever find…
The meaning to the core.
That breeds life,
And seeks death.
And if it matters if I’m a Jedi,
Or become a Sith?
To face judgement in the afterlife,
Even though reality is already a punishment.
It makes no sense!
Should I conform,
Or should I resist?
After all I never chose to exist.
To roll around in this ****,
Like I’m some piglet.
Guess I’ll need some anti-septic.
But perhaps I’m just a cynic,
Who see’s the pathetic as poetic.
And calls it out, regardless of pro-etiquette.
As it’s like trying to live in a room, comfortably with an elephant.
Hold up wait!
I’m in my element.
Our systems a detriment.
To those it deems as a pestilent
So, they develop a regiment.
Oh, Here we go,
Again with that rhetoric.
But **** it,
The world is ****,
And I’m here to better it.
If you want songs that are melancholic,
Or has themes about money, fame, or *******.
Go to your local bargain bin,
And you’ll find a drake CD in it!
Haha.

When it comes to life,
You got two choices.
Laugh or cry!
This is the thesis,
Of a divide,
Between our inner Jekyll & Hyde.

Fighting the voices,
That got me wanting to commit suicide.
Thirsty for death.
Where the formaldehyde?
Shadows always lurking,
Hard to hide,
Even harder to fight!
When you got to pretend,
Like everything’s alright!
After all, fake smiles delight.
Where the drugs at?
Want to get higher than a kite.
In order to numb my plight.
Smash the mirrors that surround me,
Because I can’t stand the sight.
Can’t let people see the demon inside.
That feeds off positivity,
But sadly never satisfies its appetite.
That turns allies to absentees.
With the toxic cycle becoming dynamite.
That leaves fragments to those near the surrounding.
Because, Intergenerational trauma doesn’t discriminate, compadre.
But hopefully we will be able to heal one day!
Till than though…

When it comes to life,
You got two choices,
Laugh or cry!
This is the thesis,
Of a divide,
Between our inner Jekyll and Hyde.

The price of money,
Is like a game of risk,
To conquer the world,
Yet feel empty as ****.

The price of fame,
Is a double edged sword,
Gotta wonder if it’s worth,
Sacrificing for.

More money more problems,
That’s the name of the game,
Might act like it’s no biggie,
Till lead is pumped into your veins.
How much a dollar cost?
Is it worth the pain?
What will be lost?
In your pursuit of fame?
Perhaps these suits and rings,
Are nothing more than fancy,
Prison uniforms and chains.
Could have all the money,
Yet still complain.
Because you’re still empty.
Grass ain’t always greener.
Trust me.
When a new world dreamer,
Can become a new world nightmare,
That replaces poverty with a fever.
No matter how much ******,
You chase with those expensive sneakers,
It’ll never satisfy the meter,
Or change the mind of the cops,
Who will always see you as a misdemeanour.
Because of your skin colour.
Can have your hands up,
But it won’t matter.
And the fact of the matter,
Is money can’t pay off the grim reaper.

The price of money,
Is like a game of risk,
To conquer the world,
Yet feel empty as ****.

The price of fame,
Is a double edged sword,
Gotta wonder if it’s worth,
Sacrificing for.

Money has a cost,
Can you afford it?
Gun is cocked,
With one bullet,
Spin the chamber till it stops,
Put it to the head and pull it.
Wonder if you’re still alive?
A poor man survives,
While a rich man begs to die.
Could have all the knowledge,
Yet still be unwise.
And the fact of the matter is,
We are all poor when we die.
Because money can’t revive,
Or have one’s sins purified.
At least justice can be accomplished,
By the person in the sky.
So, I ask again.
Money has a cost,
Can you afford it?
After all…

The price of money,
Is like a game of risk,
To conquer the world,
Yet feel empty as ****.

The price of fame,
Is a double edged sword,
Gotta wonder if it’s worth,
Sacrificing for.

Pain internalized,
Trauma within the eyes,
With regret lying behind,
A disguised smile unrecognized.
Even by the specialized.
Wonder if you can sympathize?
With a society trying to stabilize,
What they see as animalized.
Creating a society that is demoralized.
That steals children with intentions,
To indoctrinize.  
Experimenting regardless of the savage cries.
Because soon they will be whitenized.
And will be normalized.
Numb to the pain and cast aside.
Having their culture sold and commercialized.
And if they protest they are taken out,
Like they were pests and the RCMP was the pesticide.

Why can’t they hear the cries?
Why won’t they listen to the cries?
How many more have to die?
How many more have to die?
Before we are finally recognized!
As humans nation wide!
Maybe they are just too deaf, dumb, and blind.

Identity compromised,
Fear got us paralyzed,
With our livelihoods stigmatized,
Fought in world wars,
But had our status demised.
Thought we were allies?
Jailed yet enfranchised.
There is no land of the free.
When even our blood quantum,
Is categorized.
I guess it’s not just the revolution,
That is un-televised.
Yet we always hear,
How many times do we have to apologize?
Just get over it.
Get a job and live healthy lives.
Unable to sympathize,
With those tyrannized.
And traumatized.
Unable to hear the cries.
Of those who have and still are,
Losing their lives.
Which got me asking?

Why can’t you hear the cries?
Why won’t you listen to the cries?
How many more have to die?
How many more have to die?
Before we are finally recognized!
As humans nation wide!
Maybe you’re just too deaf, dumb and blind!

In order for better days,
One gotta know how to deal with rain.
Gotta find the beauty within the pain.
Life’s a puzzle,
Gotta work together, to come up with better ways.
In order to continue having better days.

Thinking bout better days,
While sipping lemonade,
As the sunset serenades,
Feeling fabulous like a free bird,
Call me Michael Hayes.
If haters is yapping,
They bout catch a fade.
Life’s full of ups and downs,
So, ya gotta know how,
To surf them waves.
For the devil be lurking,
Ready to ruin your day.
So, I pray to the father.
For protection everyday.
Because I know if I don’t,
It will marinate.
Within my mind.
And keep me blind.
Trapped within the confines.
Of the lies stated by those that chastised.
And undermined my identity.
Lies that became truths.
That poisoned my security.
That for years I believed had no remedy.
Leashed to the black dog,
That was slowly killing me.
Because I lost sight of the real me.
They say we are who we choose to be,
But I don’t fully agree.
Especially when many with power and privilege,
Never have to face the same disparities.
As those within the minority.
But I also believe,
We have a responsibility.
To ourselves and our communities.
To stop the cycles of toxicity.

In order for better days,
One gotta know how to deal with rain.
Gotta find the beauty within the pain.
Life’s a puzzle,
Gotta work together, to come up with better ways.
In order to continue having better days.

Love and a Hug
I just need a hug,
Things are getting very rough,
Oh, I just need a hug,
For I don’t feel like I’m enough.
Yeah, I just need me some love.
To make up for,
Not loving myself.
Yeah, I just need me some love.
Any amount I will take.
Enough to make me feel like,
I’m not just some mistake.
I don’t wear a mask,
Yet I feel like such a fake.
This is a sad story,
Of a boy as fragile as a paper plate.
Who longs to be merry like Kate.
And dreams about marrying a girl,
But that girl would rather date Blake.
What kind of name is Blake?
Why it always some guy named Blake?
Maybe it’s because I don’t climb mountains.
That’s why girls always tell me to take a hike.
They say love is a tightrope,
But I’m afraid of heights.
Yeah.
They say love is a highway,
But I’m like a deer in the headlights.
I just need a hug,
Things are getting very rough,
Oh, I just need a hug,
For I don’t feel like I’m enough.
Yeah, I just need me some love.
To make up for,
Not loving myself.
Yeah, I just need me some love.
Any amount I will take.
Enough to make me feel like,
I’m not just some mistake.
This is a story of a boy,
Who may be grown up.
But isn’t quite a man.
A story that is real,
And oh, oh, oh, sad.
A boy who never fully learned.
From the experiences that he had.
A boy who grew up without a dad.
Yet still became like him,
Because to his son he is a nomad.
A person never really there.
Who wonders if he cuts his wrists,
Would his father even care?
A boy who feels like Bon Jovi,
Because he’s living on a prayer.
Wondering how to repair,
What’s broken but isn’t there.
While trying not to the succumb,
The temptations of a beer,
That would temporarily make his pain disappear.
But knows it’ll just lead to the continued,
Cycle of despair.
So, instead he went to therapy,
To combat the dragons lair.
A story turned to redemption,
By shifting gears.
And there may be times,
That I still need some love & a hug.
But that’s okay because I’m not perfect.