I’ve lost a piece of myself.
That I couldn’t recover.
A piece of me.
Taken away from a former lover.
What a weird feeling.
To be incomplete.
To be empty.
Without you next to me.
I know things haven’t always been peachy.
I know we both got angry.
I know you are over me.
But I can’t seem to get over you.
It doesn’t make sense.
I know that in my brain.
But my heart hasn’t got the memo.
But my heart wants you back.
And I’m conflicted,
Not knowing what to do.
It’s like a loss of self.
And these feelings can no longer stay on the shelf.
And I know you’re not ready to talk about it.
But I need to process my emotions.
For I’m tangled in this web.
Spiralling in my heart and head.
Over analyzing everything.
Overthinking everything.
What is wrong with me?
Why can’t I be free?
Of these feelings?
I’m not even sure how I truly feel about you.
When one moment I resent you and the next moment I long for you.
Is this love?
This can’t be love.
I don’t know what this is.
Maybe it’s because you were my first?
I don’t know.
For i’m just at a loss right now.
For one hand I want to save our love and what we had.
But also know that some love can’t ever be saved.

Lime green envy.
Residing in me.
I understand it’s ugly.
Imprisoning me.
In my own insecurities.
Constantly believing I’m unworthy.
Unworthy to be happy.
Unworthy of education.
Unworthy of you.
And then I see you chatting up my friends.
And I’m engulfed in this,
Lime green envy.
It’s all consuming.
Taking over my rationality.
Becoming a hulkish version of myself.
And It’s certainly isn’t incredible.
I know I shouldn’t worry.
I know you care about me.
But I can’t help but to fall,
In this vat of chemicals containing envy.
Turning me into something of a villain.
And ironically,
I’m my own greatest enemy.
And ironically,
I’m pushing you away.
With all this,
Lime green envy.
Residing in me.
And I understand it’s ugly.
Imprisoning me.
In my own insecurities.
Constantly believing I’m unworthy.
Unworthy to be happy.
Unworthy of education.
Unworthy of you.
And I can try to blame my past,
My family or friends or even you.
But I know that I’m truly the one to blame.
For no one is forcing me to treat you all so badly.
It’s a choice that I make.
And I have to deal with my actions.
Whether positive or negative.
I decide to either be the successor or the victim.
So, I’m sorry.
Sorry that I’ve let this lime green envy consume me.

Fragile ties keep us together.
Standing on glass.
Thinking we’re stable.

Fragile hearts broken.
Lies coursing in our veins.
That’s what we get,
For surrounding ourselves with snakes.
Thought we had what it takes.
Turns out we didn’t.
Two people burdened by weights and expectations.
Had too much baggage.
So, we shouldn’t be surprised that our love plummeted.
Yet here we are.
In a hole.
Dug by our own hubris.
Fiddlesticks.
I hate being stuck in this toxic relationship.

Fragile ties keep us together.
Standing on glass.
Thinking we’re stable.

Tumbling down the hill.
Like jack and Jill.
Tumbling off the wall.
Like Humpty Dumpty.
Love as broken as those egg shells.
We can’t ever be put back together again.

Tumbling down the hill.
Like jack and Jill.
Tumbling off the wall.
Like Humpty Dumpty.
Love as broken as those egg shells.
We can’t ever be put back together again.

Fragile ties keep us together.
Standing on glass.
Thinking we’re stable.

Both being Cain’s.
To each other’s Able’s.
Fragile beings.
Not meant to be.
Hearts dried up like the desert.
Hearts fed up and bitter.  
It’s a wonder how these...

Fragile ties keep us together.
As we’re standing on glass.
Thinking we’re stable

She tell me this isn’t right.
That this isn’t meant to be.
She tells me not tonight.
But it just doesn’t sit well with me.
Just the other day we were happy.
Just the other day we were laughing.
And every time we kiss,
Baby it’s magic.
Like riding a shooting star.
And I don’t want this ride to end.
And I don’t care that your another guys girlfriend.
Alright. Now hear me out.
He’s just not right for you.
Running to my arms because he leaves you black and blue.
I hate seeing the gloom in your eyes.
I hate seeing you in pain.
Seeing you cry.
Seeing you believe your worthless.
When I see you as a Queen.
When I see your eyes glimmer with hope for the future.
If only you knew how special you are.
Girl you are my world.
You’re as precious as diamonds and pearls.
You are so smart.
But believe yourself to be stupid.
But if you could see what I see.
To look into my heart.
To see how big my love is for you.
So, tell me please.
How can our love be wrong?
Why can’t we be together?
Why not tonight?
I just don’t understand.
I don’t see why you stay with him.
I don’t see why you don’t fight back.
I just don’t understand.
I hate seeing you unhappy.
I hate seeing you go in loops.
And I can’t lie.
Every time you run to me.
I feel used.
And that stings.
For you know my kryptonite is you.
I’d die for you.
I’d hold you until you stop crying.
I’d tell you how spectacular you are.
But I guess that’s not enough.
Why can’t I be enough?
What’s wrong with me?
Why can’t I leave.
Why can’t I escape my dream.
Of growing old with you.
Why does love hurt?
Why is this so hard?
To save our love?
To save what we have?
To be happy?
I wanna know.
Oh, I wanna know.
For it doesn’t sit well with me.
When,
Just the other day we were happy.
Just the other day we were laughing.
Just the other day you loved me.
But today is a different story.
But today I’m alone.
But today your gone.

Tears in the rain.
Some soaked in joy.
Some soaked in pain.
Tears the symbol of existence.
No use resisting.
Whatever the situation.
Tears are what makes us human.
Some see it as weakness.
Some see it as courageous.
An experience unlike any other.
Whether it be fear.
Whether it be spite.
If it gives one the will to fight.
Then let it rain.
In every way let it rain.
Don’t be a slave to your shame.
With life, must there be death standing right beside?
War?
Hatred?
Rage?
If tears heal.
Why can’t we survive?
If tears heal.
Then why do I always feel so torn up inside?
Hiding these tears.
In the rain.
Hiding my pain.
Am I insane?
To feel these things?
Am I insane?
To feel this sting?
The thing that distinguishes me and you as human.
My flesh can be so weak.
Things can go from bright to bleak.
Pretty quick.
Am I sick?
For crying in this rain?
Am I sick?
If these tears never go away?
For what it’s worth.
Like a movie.
We must see it through.
When the reaper comes for you.
Don’t be afraid.
Reach out your hand.
For time will eventually stop for all of man.
When memories fade.
And your tears of rain,
Become wisps of sand.
From dirt we started.
And to dirt we end.

Sun shining.
It’s a new day.
Sun shining.
On me today.

What a wonderful day.
What a beautiful day.
But a day isn’t perfect,
Until I’m with you.
Until I see your smile.
Shine on me.
Like the Sun.
For you are my light.
When things get dark.
You are my hope.
When I’m weakhearted.
You are my support.
The partner.
God created just for me.

I’m so lucky.
Truly.
As the sun shines on me.
I await the next day.
A day with you.
A day to see you smiling.
To see you laughing.
Holding hands walking.
Into the horizon.

Where possibilities never end.
Where happiness tends,
Tends to live on.
Strong as the promises.
That has bound us together.
Forever.
Where two become one.
Where the setting of the sun.
Is not the end.
But the beginning of a new.
A new life with you.
My Bel Amour.

Heart shaped moon.
Baby it’s true.
Yes it’s true, it’s true.
My love is as big as the moon.
Baby it’s true, it’s true.
That I’m in love with you.
I can’t believe.
Oh, I can’t believe.
That some days.
I’m with you.
Baby it’s true.
Yes it’s true, oh it’s true.
I’m in love with you.
Dreaming of the moon.
Where I was with you.
Dreaming of the moon.
Kissing you.
Soft comfort consumes me.
Butterflies surround me.
Is this what love is?
I’ve always heard about it.
But never once believed it.
Never once believed someone could love me.
Especially when for the longest time I didn’t even love me.
I was scared of being hurt.
Because I’ve been hurt before.
I was afraid of the future.
To have a child.
To fall out of love.
To take that next step.
Down that aisle.
Awaiting you.
In that white dress.
Looking happy.
Happy to be with someone like me.
You could’ve chosen anyone.
But you chose me.
It’s like a dream.
Is this make believe?
Is this what love is?
For me and love never saw eye to eye.
I was about to give up.
But then I saw you.
And you saw me.
Your eyes that pierced my heart.
Like Cupid’s arrow.
Never thought I would ever feel something.
Something where words can’t fully describe.
It’s like looking at the moon.
Sitting next to you.
If this is love, I hope it never ends.
Dreaming of the moon.
Where I first met you.
Dreaming of the moon.
Kissing you.