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Cynthia Lewis Apr 2018
Standing in front of the mirror
All i see is fat
Ugly
Failure

Standing in front of my family and friends
I have confidence in me
I'm happy
I have the biggest smile

Standing on my own
I feel sad
Lost
Broken

Just because i seem ok....it does not mean that i don't struggle.
Behind my smile is pain.....hurt.....anguish.
I am not the girl i used to be.....but i am me.
Whether i succeed or not.....i will always be a failure.
I cannot believe in happiness
I cannot believe in hope
Strength
Success
I am sad
I am no longer who i used to be.....but i am me.
Cynthia Lewis Apr 2018
It's night time.
The stars are shining and my soul is awake.
I leave my study and go outside.
I look up to the sky and have this feeling....
Something's watching me.
Who or what and why i ask myself.
But i already know what you are.
I see a bright light....it follows me.
As i stand in shock,i feel a power enter me....a power I've never felt before. It's like my organs are being crushed yet it doesn't hurt.
I see a celestial being....i feel safe.
What do you want? I ask....
You already know.....it replies.
The truth is i dont know....i dont know what it wants.....as i stare in utter disbelief i feel a warmth inside me.
It speaks to me.
I want you to believe in yourself,like you believe in us.
I feel saddened by the answer and before i can return a comment....it disappears completely.
But now......
I believe in my friends when others don't.
I have faith in my own beliefs when others follow their own.
But more importantly i believe in me.
Cynthia Lewis Mar 2018
As i take a walk down the lane of life i notice this sound.
It's nothing new and nothing old but it keeps me on the ground.
My heart sinks as i hear a whisper,a whisper soft yet smooth.
I run as fast as i can.....but my heart beats fast......i can't move.
Your arms embrace my rib cage,you tell me not to eat......you pick me up,knock me down....sweep me off my feet.
I've been here before....i know the deal your here to be my wife.........but one thing no one else knows is you actually take my life.

— The End —