I was your cup of tea,
Now you drink coffee

Two and a half years full of lies and despair
Worrying for no reason and pulling out my hair
30 months of heartbreak and pain
It was all a facade, with nothing to gain
I'm tired of all of this
I just want out
My life is a hell and I'm married to the devil

All of our memories are tainted now
Thoughts of you and her are all that fill my head

I wanna work through it because we're married and young
But I keep coming undone

I just don't know what to do anymore,
And we're carrying on as if everything is okay

I can't believe the life I thought I had
Was just an explosion of lies in my face

How could you do that to me, to us?
9 ******* months
Probably more
Full of lies and deceit


I don't know how I'll ever be okay again because you were supposed to be my soulmate, my everything

But it was all for nothing

I'm not sure what hurts more,
Your betrayal
Or the fact that I was right
You had someone on the side

Swimming deeper into your pool of lies
I don't think I'll ever be fine
I feel like I'm drowning
Your lust for them will be our demise

The person I loved most, my soul mate, my whole world
Turned upside down

How stupid I was to believe the lies you fed to me
Telling me we're okay but we weren't and won't ever be

I don't know if I should give you another chance or just walk away
Start over
with someone new

But I can never love again the way I loved you.

Everything just feels more separate than together, I don't know what to feel or do anymore

ALL MY LIFE I'VE HAD UNANSWERED QUESTIONS AND AT THIS POINT I AT LEAST DESERVE A ******* ANSWER

ALL THE HATEFUL WORDS YOU SAID ARE SWIMMING AROUND IN MY HEAD
THEY STILL STING LIKE THE BLADE I NO LONGER TURN TO
I MAY HAVE GOTTEN AWAY FROM YOU BUT I'LL NEVER BE OKAY AGAIN

I NEVER WANNA FORGET THE WAY YOU FEEL

"your eyes are one of a kind, like they only made one because the mold  broke."

"We never have enough time with each other"
"I don't think we ever will"

I WAS JUST GOING THROUGH THE MOTIONS UNTIL I MET YOU,
BARELY EXISTING
THANK YOU FOR SHOWING ME HOW TO FEEL ALIVE,
YOU'RE SHOWING ME THIS BEAUTIFUL THING CALLED LOVE.

"NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS COULD I FORGET THAT I'M YOURS."

NO ONE HAS EVER KISSED ME IN SUCH A WAY THAT TIME STOPPED
BUT THE WAY YOU HOLD MY FACE AND KISS ME SLOWLY TAKES ME SOMEWHERE ELSE
WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME?

I COULD BE THE MOUNTAINS, YOU COULD BE THE SEA
OH WON'T YOU COME AND CRASH OVER EVERY INCH OF ME?

YOU WANT TO KEEP YOUR OPTIONS OPEN AND I DON'T BLAME YOU
I WOULDN'T CHOOSE ME EITHER

Three weeks ago you were saying "you're so amazing, I can't wait to be your boyfriend"
After our first date you said "I think we should wait to be in an actual relationship, get to know each other better"
But all you've gotten to know about me is my body
Will you ever ******* want me?

I'M BREAKING MY OWN HEART AGAIN

THAT NIGHT REPLAYS OVER AND OVER IN MY HEAD
I FELL VICTIM, PREY IN YOUR BED
WRAPPED IN LUST AND ECSTACY,
CRAVING LOVE AND AFFECTION
BUT IS THIS ENOUGH?
I CAN'T STAND THE THOUGHT OF YOU WITH SOMEONE ELSE
YOU SAID I WAS ALWAYS WELCOME
BUT AM I THE ONLY ONE YOU'RE LAYING WITH?

ONCE YOU'VE BEEN IN THE DARK, YOU APPRECIATE EVERYTHING THAT IS LIGHT

I MISS YOU BUT I'LL NEVER ******* TELL YOU
I'M TOO PRIDEFUL TO EVER SHOW YOU I WAS IN LOVE WITH YOU

SLEPT WITH SOMEBODY ELSE SO I COULD GET OVER YOU,
A MESS OF PASSION WITH LOVE BITES LEFT ALL OVER
IT FELT SO GOOD TO BE WITH SOMEONE OTHER THAN YOU, BELIEVE ME
I KNOW HE WAS JUST USING ME
BUT SO ARE YOU
AND I'D RATHER BE USED BY SOMEONE WITH NO FEELINGS INVOLVED
BECAUSE I'M IN ******* LOVE WITH YOU,
I EVEN DREAMT ABOUT YOU LAST NIGHT
THIS HAS TO BE REAL BECAUSE NONE OF THIS MAKES ANY ******* SENSE

GO AHEAD AND WAIT FOR HER,
THERE'S NO HOPE FOR US
SO DESPERATELY I WANTED TO LOVE YOU
YOU ONLY USED ME FOR LUST

PEOPLE TAKE WHAT THEY WANT FROM YOU AND LEAVE
I'M SO SICK OF GIVING THE WRONG PEOPLE THE RIGHT PIECES OF ME

I'M SO TIRED OF BEING ALONE
I TOLD MYSELF I'D NEVER FEEL LIKE THIS AGAIN
WHAT THE **** IS WRONG WITH ME?

I'LL STAY OUT IN THE COLD JUST SO I CAN FEEL SOMETHING OTHER THAN YOU

YOUR SCENT IS INTOXICATING
IT LINGERS
IT'S BEEN HOURS SINCE I'VE SEEN YOU

I'LL TAKE THE HINT, YOU DON'T WANT ME
*I GET IT

I GUESS I'LL TAKE THE HINT, I'M ALONE AGAIN

I COULD GIVE YOU THE MOON AND THE SUN
THE EARTH AND THE STARS
I COULD GIVE YOU ALL OF MY LOVE
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS TELL ME TO

I CAN'T BELIEVE I EVER CONSIDERED YOU FAMILY

YOU ******* BETRAYED ME

NOTHING IS LIKE IT WAS BEFORE,
I KNOW NOT WHO I AM ANYMORE

I GUESS I WON'T EVER FEEL FREE
UNTIL YOU'RE DEAD OR I AM
WITH THE WAY THINGS ARE GOING, IT'S GONNA BE *ME.

IT COULD BE 100 DEGREES OUTSIDE AND MY BONES WOULD STILL BE COLD

*I DON'T KNOW WHO I AM ANYMORE

YOU MAKE ME WANT TO FORGET THE PAST AND DESTROY MY FUTURE

I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE

My body is none of your ******* business.
My ****** encounters are none of your ******* business.
MY BODY IS MINE.
JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE MAD DOESN'T GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO CALL ME A *****, YOU KNOW GOOD AND **** WELL THAT I'M WORTH SOMETHING MORE
YOU'VE HELD THIS BODY
YOU'VE LOVED THIS BODY
YOU LOVED ME.
NOW I'M A *****?
*you ****** me too.

I want to be somewhere I feel loved

Isn't a home where you're supposed to feel loved?
Because I don't remember ever feeling it
I don't remember ever feeling home
I don't remember ever feeling loved
i don't remember
Maybe I was at one point
But this hatred and shame placed upon me and my name in this house is all too much to bear

"Home."
**Where?

THE WORLD DOESN'T HAVE ROOM FOR PEOPLE LIKE ME

THEY SAY HELL IS BAD BUT IT CAN'T BE ANY WORSE THAN WHAT I FEEL *ON THIS EARTH

WHY THE **** AM I MISSING YOU,
WISHING I WAS KISSING YOU?
MISSING YOUR FACE AND FEELING THE EMPTY SPACE
YOU LEFT IN MY CHEST
MY MIND WON'T GIVE IT A REST

YOU'RE IN MICHIGAN AND I'M STUCK HERE, DREAMING OF IF YOU'LL EVER KISS ME AGAIN

It's cold and I crave your kiss.
It's cold and I need your touch.
It's cold and my bones are aching.
It's cold and I can't feel my hands, or my face but I know you're there next to me because you're kissing me and I'm yours.
It's cold and I don't love you any less than I do in the summer months.

December is when I met you
December is when I felt for you
December is when we kissed, and you took me on a horse carriage ride to see the Christmas lights and we were so close I was scared you could feel my heartbeat.
December was cold, my bones were aching, but something about you stopped the quaking in my chest and the flurries in my brain.
December was when I felt your touch and your kiss and knew I needed it.
Since then, you've kissed me, and you've sang to me, and you've been adorable and nervous around me, and all I've done is love you more and more.
January 1st was when we made plans for New Years Eve, but you said you couldn't stay.
February 14th was when you wanted to surprise me, tell me you felt for me so we could start something new. But I had been with someone else and you fell into the arms of another. She broke your heart and my heart was breaking for you. I wanted to love you and cherish you.
July 29th was when you took me on a date, and we were both nervous. I was blushing so hard and tried hard not to smile too much. You were sweet to me and we shared the most wonderful moments. But you didn't want to make anything official.
It's November 12th, and we want to be together. Circumstance won't allow it but I swear to you I'll make it happen. I swear. I love you.

YOU TOOK ADVANTAGE OF ME AND RUINED MY INNOCENCE,
YOU COULDN'T SEE THROUGH YOUR ******* DRUNKENNESS
YOU RUINED MY LIFE AND MY FAMILY,
LOOK AT ALL THAT YOU ******* DID TO ME,
AND YOU'VE GOT THE AUDACITY
TO MESSAGE ME, "Hey"?
YOUR FIANCÉ WAS MY SISTER, AND YOU LURED ME IN AND I ****** IT ALL UP
AND NOW ALL I DO IS MISS HER
YOU HAVE A BABY WITH HER BUT ALL YOU COULD THINK ABOUT WAS GETTING INTO A GIRL'S PANTS WHO IS TEN YEARS YOUNGER THAN YOU?
WHERE THE **** ARE YOUR MORALS, YOUR VALUES, YOUR GUILT?
OR DID IT JUST ALL DISH OUT ON ME?
CAUSE I'VE NEVER FELT SO ******* EMPTY, SO WORTHLESS, SO *****, PLAGUED.
HOW THE **** COULD YOU DO THAT TO ME? TO MY SISTER? TO MY BABY ******* NIECE WHO I'M NOT EVEN ALLOWED TO HOLD ANYMORE. EVERYONE SAYS I'M THE ONE TO BLAME
BUT HOW? ALL I DID WAS EXIST

AND MY DAD TOLD ME, "You could have said no" BUT YOU COULD HAVE NOT COME ONTO ME IN THE FIRST ******* PLACE. THIS ISN'T ALL MY FAULT, AND YOU DENY IT BUT THE PROOF IS IN MY RAGGED SOUL AND CRUSHED INNOCENCE, THE DISTRUST OF ANY MAN WHO TRIES TO TOUCH ME

LOOK AT WHAT YOU ******* *DID TO ME

AND OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO KISS YOU AGAIN, BREATHE LIFE INTO MY CORRUPTED LUNGS

I'VE LOVED YOU FOR A YEAR NOW AND YOU'VE LOVED MY BODY
BUT NOW ALL OF A SUDDEN YOU ******* WANT ME?