She slowed her world weary old rowing boat
Over a sky blue cloudless sea
And pointed her bony finger into the depths
That solitude down under the ocean
Is where god really meant me to be

Voices echoed around me
And I heard harmonies transcending through the waves
You see them she croaked quite thoughtfully
They are calling up from their cold water graves

Come join us young tired and aching sir
You will be tranquil and peaceful and still
Come join us you handsome lost fool
We will cure you of all that's making you ill

Not you she screamed in anger
I am old and have nothing more
Those souls below are ****** and restless
They search for new blood away from the shore

And she fell into blackness and salt
I saw her slowly float away
The oars gently brushed my hands
So I seized them knowing I didn't need to stay

I said
You said
She said
They said
He said
All said
I don't need you
Don't mean that.

I did
You did
She did
They did
He did
All did
Go away from me
Don't mean that.

I saw
You saw
She saw
They saw
He saw
All saw
Don't speak to me
I don't mean that.

Angry angry angry
Smother the drifting light
Blanket blanket blanket
I am here and I am the night
Creep creep creep
Into rooms and across sky
Fear fear fear
I am here with the purpose to fright
Hide hide hide
Away into any nook and cranny
Listen listen listen
I've emerged as the time is right
Stop stop stop
It blinds me something rotten
Leave leave leave
The sun has won the fight

A whistle in the alley way
and high heels clicking on the stone
Succumbing to loathing
In the catacombs
Of a lonely old city

Shouting in the lift
As it careers up the shaft
Corrosive attitude shown
In the metallic box
Operating in a filthy forgotten town

Substances consumed for joy
As they wander perilously
Vitriolic language unrecognised
In the bus shelters
Upright in a cold unabashed eve

Violence penetrating the cobbles
Spouting from drunken filters
Vessels of deranged humans
In the public houses
Loud like thunder in the greyness

Like water on a fast flowing river.
That's family.
Like flowers that blossom then die.
That's family.
Like lions growling in the wild.
That's family.
Like the cold creeping under your skin.
That's family.
Like a compass that leads the way.
That's family.
Like a siren hurting your ears.
That's family.
Like a child who blurts out the truth.
That's family.
Like your shadow always by your side.
That's family.
Like an addiction that won't let you go.
That's family.

Maybe I'm a loser
Or maybe that's just a thought
Maybe 2017
Will stop me feeling nought
Maybe I'll achieve something
Something has to give
Maybe I'll be happy
Something new and more postive
Maybe there's a slow down
Of all the horrid things
Maybe I should see
What 2017 brings
Maybe I'm just moaning
Cause I'm quite good at that
Maybe I've missed the good
That's been pulled from the hat
Maybe I should say happy new year
And enjoy what the future throws
Maybe it's time to look forward
See what happens and how it goes

Today I'm 40
Yesterday I was 39
I guess I should celebrate somehow
With some food and a bottle of wine
The thoughts of being younger
Keep running through my head
When I could act like a complete clown
And not panic about things I've said
The world was exciting and happy
So I embraced it with all my might
With the good times and the bad times
I still learnt with the world in sight
Turning 40 hasn't really changed me
The mind still thinks it 24
My body gets an occasional twinge
But I'm definatly not a bore
So here's to being 40
If you want to celebrate it's up to you
I'll just keep my thoughts of happiness
And sit around till I'm 41 and 42