I watch them come and go
All pretend love and fake smiles
With the odd little genuine moment
As their tears flow for miles

Prison camp The Willows nursing home
As to us its affectionately known
The place for useless old sloths
Who watch a screen and sit all alone

Lunch time then regular medication
Sometimes an afternoon nap
I try not to do that myself though
I’m still to young for that crap

Then again who am I kidding
With my legs like jelly in a bowl
And a double chin hiding cobwebs
I’m as stiff as a telegraph pole

A young nurse reminds me of me
Vivacious and full of life
The only difference being of course
Is I had a husband while she has a wife

David is coming in soon
My son and my little solider
Everytime I see him these days
He looks that little bit older

Mackerel on toast for dinner
Not really my cup of tea
Jam stuffed in a large bulbous doughnut
Now that would do for me

Just having a sip of tea
The last thing I can just about do
Thinking of the pleasant thought
That you’ll be here one day to

Swaying madly from side to side
He believes he’s on the radio station
His eyes all bulbous and wide
Playing songs to please the nation
From Elvis to Black lace
As a smile spreads across his face

In his mind he’s Tony Blackburn
And Scott Mills rolled into one
As sweat drips down his solitary sideburn
Cause the other side is completely gone
Next up its the Rolling Stones
Through his imaginary headphones

Now comes the weather report
Sun with patchy rain
A quick update on the sport
Raducanu has lost again
Then he utters goodbye
Clutching his bag close to his thigh

In the bus stop he then squats
Before searching through a bin
Tying his beard into knots
He scratches his aching shin
As the doors open again without fuss
Lets re-welcome the DJ on the bus

A tale of age
Straight from the page
Of an historians book
Which is worth a little look
As you may know a street
Which once held your feet
When you were a child
All meek and mild
But it’s different and not the same
From when you played that game
With a bat and a ball
All petite and small
No tarmac was laid
Or council workers paid
But you existed all the same
Like the past in times game
And you touched the floor
Where fingers have done before
So again please take a look
At an historians written book
Where somebody in your hand
Once stood where you stand

One night the room span
And I just couldn’t concentrate
My heart raced to a hundred beats
As I started to slowly lose weight

I lost the love for drinking
And smoked far to much
My thinking became unclear
And I spoke double Dutch

I didn’t want to go out
The world became a scary place
My energy became zero
And my head went into space

I thought of a thousand illnesses
Did I have one of those
Hoping blood tests would find them
I became withdrawn and quite morose

Crying became a problem
When I spoke about it all
Showers were non existent
I felt alone and very small

Sleeping was a nightmare
Wondering if I could
The days just seemed to be different
When they never really should

Forgetting my beans in Aldi
Scared me half to dead
I lost focus on my favourite programmes
And wondered why the interest left

I lost focus off things I loved
And I developed a lost stare
When I drove my kids to school
I just floated along on air

I think they call that brain fog
But fog usually clears
This fog was going nowhere
I even lost the tears

Fleeting moments of sadness
Shivering happened a lot
Struggling to have conversations
A nod is the most they got

Medication was given to me
Which made me into a snail
Mentally drained and feeling weak
It became my usual tale

At the moment I’m in limbo
Waiting for CBT
I’ve had all that before
And hopefully it’ll help me

I’m writing this poem for focus
Cause I need to connect again
But at the moment its just not happening
I’m wandering aimlessly through the rain

If anyone has this problem
Please give me a shout
The more talking you can give me
The more it’ll help me out

A world away but I can touch it
As reality seems to detach
When the soul just wants to come back
But it seems so hard to card
Breath as hard as you can
And have your loved ones near

It is the night tonight
That I fear the most
As I pray to god
And the Holy Ghost

In the stillness of night
The beams of the moonlight
Scorch the marble floor
Amidst the creaking of a door
As this old house breathes again

Curtains blow up high
Causing dust to live and fly
Like pores from human skin
Then a can made of tin
Rolls through the medium of the wind

Cats meow in the air
A chorus of I don’t care
Crooked floorboards talk so loud
The moon hides behind a cloud
Plunging the house into total darkness

Then slowly the clock turns back
To when silence leads the attack
Again the darkness fights the light
In a battle with the night
For control of this dormant house