A tale of age
Straight from the page
Of an historians book
Which is worth a little look
As you may know a street
Which once held your feet
When you were a child
All meek and mild
But it’s different and not the same
From when you played that game
With a bat and a ball
All petite and small
No tarmac was laid
Or council workers paid
But you existed all the same
Like the past in times game
And you touched the floor
Where fingers have done before
So again please take a look
At an historians written book
Where somebody in your hand
Once stood where you stand

One night the room span
And I just couldn’t concentrate
My heart raced to a hundred beats
As I started to slowly lose weight

I lost the love for drinking
And smoked far to much
My thinking became unclear
And I spoke double Dutch

I didn’t want to go out
The world became a scary place
My energy became zero
And my head went into space

I thought of a thousand illnesses
Did I have one of those
Hoping blood tests would find them
I became withdrawn and quite morose

Crying became a problem
When I spoke about it all
Showers were non existent
I felt alone and very small

Sleeping was a nightmare
Wondering if I could
The days just seemed to be different
When they never really should

Forgetting my beans in Aldi
Scared me half to dead
I lost focus on my favourite programmes
And wondered why the interest left

I lost focus off things I loved
And I developed a lost stare
When I drove my kids to school
I just floated along on air

I think they call that brain fog
But fog usually clears
This fog was going nowhere
I even lost the tears

Fleeting moments of sadness
Shivering happened a lot
Struggling to have conversations
A nod is the most they got

Medication was given to me
Which made me into a snail
Mentally drained and feeling weak
It became my usual tale

At the moment I’m in limbo
Waiting for CBT
I’ve had all that before
And hopefully it’ll help me

I’m writing this poem for focus
Cause I need to connect again
But at the moment its just not happening
I’m wandering aimlessly through the rain

If anyone has this problem
Please give me a shout
The more talking you can give me
The more it’ll help me out

A world away but I can touch it
As reality seems to detach
When the soul just wants to come back
But it seems so hard to card
Breath as hard as you can
And have your loved ones near

It is the night tonight
That I fear the most
As I pray to god
And the Holy Ghost

In the stillness of night
The beams of the moonlight
Scorch the marble floor
Amidst the creaking of a door
As this old house breathes again

Curtains blow up high
Causing dust to live and fly
Like pores from human skin
Then a can made of tin
Rolls through the medium of the wind

Cats meow in the air
A chorus of I don’t care
Crooked floorboards talk so loud
The moon hides behind a cloud
Plunging the house into total darkness

Then slowly the clock turns back
To when silence leads the attack
Again the darkness fights the light
In a battle with the night
For control of this dormant house

From the day we’re born we’re in the club
Consuming yet eerily beautiful
A club that commands no fee
Where its expected for us to be dutiful
We appear the same in little ways
Yet are different in our own minds
A connection so strong and solid
With no escape one often finds
Cause this is the club called family
Of parents, sisters and brotherhood
All herded up like cows in a field
Bonded by DNA, bone and blood
Occasionally theres breaks in the chains
Where speaking becomes a chore
And while we avoid and keep our distance
Our love just burns forever more
No one really forgets each other
The heart just decides it’s hiding away
Until that moment along the road
Where it’s ready to come back and stay
This is because we’re family
Created from the same mould
Push and hurt anyone of us
And our fight will be big and bold
We all know where our bread is buttered
It’s the lessons we’ve learned together
From our first cuddle to our first row
We will always look after one another