No longer fooled
By marketing
By glamour
By hope
All of these and so much more
Tossed to the dogs
Now, I live in reality
...
...
...
How do I go back?

Writing words
About cash and fame
I could lose it all tomorrow
None would question it
-----------------------------------------
Substitution
All they say is "you are special"
That's what got me into this mess
Expectations driving me deranged
Off the cliff with a heart of hate
No dream is ever worth this
Chasing after dreams, always been asleep
Swept off my feet by reality
-----------------------------------------
In the deepest heap, I'm nothing but a sheep
When all my layers have been removed
All I can do is weep...
All I can do is sleep...
All I can do is reap.

Always hungry
Never satisfied
That's what you get
When you build a world out of pride

Even in death
We want to look alive
Glimmering and stunning
For no one to witness
A mummy is only alive in the likeness
Never in peace, can we rest?
Fashion and fame, left behind in legacy
Easily dismantled in the face of jealousy

The apex of the land
Untouchable, unstoppable
No one can break them!
...
It gets lonely at the top
Coming up with daily routines
Just to distract from reality
Simulated conflict
Fictional biographies
All to tell us lessons
About the truth of our reality
...
On our day of enlightenment
If it ever comes
The flesh and blood we consume
Will taste stale
...
All we have been doing is sophistication imitation.

Beneath every gangster
Lies a desire for success
However...
The means do not justify
Throwing obscenities
Riches have a half-life
Declare a state of emergency
For all these imitators
Should strive for something greater

In my dreams
I remembered a bouncy castle
A place of infinite fun
Even the most solemn faces
Lit up with smiles, euphoria
Not a single care, free of dysphoria
-------------------------------------------------
I drove to that place again
I opened the doors to my past
Ready to relive the bygone days
Now, I am here
Something feels wrong
Like I stumbled into a place
Never meant for me
The retreaded ground had never felt so foreign
Same colors, bright, energetic
Looking at my reflection, synthetic, how poetic
No longer magnetic, I feel pathetic
Lesson learned: Opposites attract no more
-------------------------------------------------
Was it always like this?
Have I always been like this?
The same space, untouched by time
But, I wasn't.
Rushing past the years
Memories dimmer and blur
I can't let go.
Let me go back to the time I prefer
-------------------------------------------------
Rushing back to the party room
All to be seen, remnants of the celebration
I realized today:
I will be forever dismayed.