She thinks the planets have aligned
Finally, just for her.
She can feel the worlds heart beating beneath the floor.
Face to face against the world,
ready to conquer everything you ever said she couldn't do.
She is ready.
Ready to prove the girl in the mirror wrong.
She is off.
With an empty backpack and pocketfull of change.
And a ticket to a bigger city with a different name
A city with dazzling stars and puppy love.
A place where she learns every breath is a gift and love is not enough
A place where mistakes follow like rain clouds.
And tears fall down like rain.

She drives over the speedlimit
while she puts her thoughts on paper.
The only words to her thoughts are on a song played on the radio.
But it kills you to know,
When she's smiling, she is lying and its killing her also.
Even with the worst of her,
You would give her everything just to have the chance.
But people always end up hurting her.
Even after she is nice.
Even after karma comes around, she's still suffering the consequenses.

Softly whisper,
a kiss
under the moon and the starlit sky.
Heaven, up above
beyond the trees,
waiting desperately.
Dancing in the rain
when you have nothing to do
but to look forward to the unknown,
waiting for you.
Singing secrets
to the man on the moon
hoping,
wishing,
praying
he is listening to you.

A dark heart in a dark place.
Bruised in every which way.
So much pain.
Rain.

A shallow mind on a different page.
Optimism still in the game.
So much shame.
Vain.

A smile of lies on a sad face.
With sarcasm to embrace.
So much waste.
Erase.

Today.
Tomorrow.
Yesterday.
The day before.
And more.

So much pain to endure.

I guess maybe you were convenant?
But every emotion I felt was honest.
But I guess you really had me going, I dont know maybe I'm just easy.
I should of never let you close enough to even reach my heart and shatter it.
I never want the chance to fix the stitches, mend the glitches.
You know **** happens and time passes
but I want to forget this feeling because I dont like it.
And you dont deserve another oppurtunity.
All my anger must come from hurt.
Why did we bother, if you knew it would never work?
Call me crazy but see the human in me.
How do I change the way I feel when it's so **** real?
Believe me if I could, I would have by now.
I dont know why you did it.
I'll never figure it out
I guess I was wrong about you.

Blackened, blurred, blistered world
Take me by the hand
Lead me to a palace that is the complete opposite of the color of my heart.
Erase the hatred I have towards the innocent,
Who seem to have an influence on me;
Erase the guilt that I swallow, after every solemn breath I take.
Or are we all controlled by the pathetic curruption
that is....
what we live in now?
Is this the very end?
Or--
Is this just only what others call
the very very beginning?.....

I wish I could tell you
All the things I never got to say
But my minds over thinking my heart
Its got me sick to the stomach
Its got me weak at the knees
Its got me contemplating my morals
You're an addicting disease
Oh ,
how I hate falling for it.
And I wish that last nights escapade would have been meaningless
But my heart is out of my chest
And my lungs can barely function
And I think
About how much I hate falling for it.
Then I reflect
And I understand how it all came together
How the pieces of the puzzle fit together
And I am so grateful
That being nieve
Was the only downfall
That I can honestly say
I am blessed with
Because I'm not ashamed
That I can finally admit
That I loved
Falling for it

Framed.
I surround myself with an abundance of its glorious aftermath.
A cheap thrill for the night.
Let a half hour soak in the wrath.
I've continued to overdose myself with an endless cycle of euphoria
a sinful, deadly deception-
a vindictive vice.
Where manslaughter may be the only token for temporary happiness.
Be hypnotized with me, no pressure
as I am eager to embrace a mouthful of its alluring poison
like candy,
sweet candy.
A marigo-round of dileberate madness.
I spin around;
it's the sensation that brings me back every **** time.
knowing I wont come back every time.
I'm addicted.
So very addicted,
atleast I can admit it.
It's the sweet taste of cotton mouth,
it's the beautiful realization I figured myself out.
Spin me.
Let the drug seep through my pores
and bless you all
Hold me.
Let your sensation be my only amusement for the night.
I crave it.
I wont let myself go through withdrawls.
I can't control its endless cycle of euphoria
After all,
my addiction is to be
chemically happy.

In a coma state of bliss
with, an old memory  
of
a fascinating moment
that can not be forgotten.
I have lost all train of thought
and my sober mind
is about to relapse
please help me
with forgiveness.
Please heal these
****** wounds
Of a broken heart.
Shattered in the mirror
is a look of dissapointment
in myself.
But I know
soon
everything else will be better
as soon as I
let
it
all
go.
Let the weakness leave my body
as an overwhelming fear
of loneliness
is left
with me
and holds me
captive
to a house with never ending walls of white.
Though I am blessed
I don't embrace the light
enough;
I hold a grudge
against myself,
as all regreats come back to haunt me.
Like a shadow in the night,
I am left alone.
and in regards to how I feel,
I want you to feel,
as miserable as I do,
because you did this
to me.
But I have
to learn how to
let
it
all
go.

One by one
as the fall...
the sky starts getting closer.
The only optimistic route,
leads to another lonely adventure.
But I fight it anyway.
Freedom is the only stretch
that my hands can't fully grasp.
but karma will come around.
I'm miserable,
at this point,
but someday,
soon I hope
this will all be another turning point in history.
And the shadows
fill sky and clear the air.
When the lightning finally strikes,
the thunder rolls off in the distance..
The solitude in this stormy weather
wont be so traumatic in the end.
They can patronize me..
And then, when they think its over,
the rain will burst out
from the *****, cotton colored clouds
and  I will proudly say,
I did it with love.

Love happened.
It came, and went.
Just like the sun.
And the stars burned like diamonds
When the fire hit the bowl
and I knew the meaning of the word
incredible.
Intimacy was discovered.
And I fell fast and hard.
It changed with the seasons.
But I never let rock bottom be the end of me.
When I look back and remember,
I think of oceans and trees.
I recall laughter and movies.
And my happiness is
Oregon grown.

Still empty in December after 11 months of being full, the year was nearly over.
I wanted to give up after a lifetime of rejection.
He was just as lost as I was.
Both of us were determined to find solitude.
Under a magnified glass we melted the pieces we had left over of ourselves together.
And the walls began to fall.
I found rhythm in our breath.
I also found truth behind his stare.
It only eased the heartache of every impossibility and the overwhelming complications of whatever twisted thought I could dream up.
It only stopped me in my tracks.
It evolves even when I take step backwards.
But still it revolves around the energy that brought us together.
Nothing makes sense when your as confused as I was.
But I have direction now, somehow, because of him.
They called it lack of understanding.
Some call it love.
I found it to be a direction all my own.
And no one can take that away from me anymore.
Even when it explodes in my face and everything is ruined.
Lesson learned.
Because sometimes we end up with exactly what we wanted.
And it turns out to be everything you need.

I once cared
enough to prove
that
sometimes love conquers all.

I once cared
enough to prove
that
yesterday is not a shame.
But yesterday was different.
Yesterday was an exception.

I bleed words
out from ink
Stained on paper lines
that shelter freedom.

You stab me with contradiction
by judging my hearts only emotion.
I was cursed with a sense of self worth.
And you destroyed my only passion.

I once cared enough to prove it.
But yesterday you took that away.
Yesterday was a shame.

I cried about your willingness to disrespect me.
Yet you can't confront yourself.
Because a mirror is truly the only enemy.
yet I am the one in hell.

I once cared enough to prove it.
But yesterday you took that away.
Yesterday was a shame.

I am not lonely anymore; I begin to profile in the mirror.
In a collage of interpretation I welcome my every imperfection.
Fear dies slowly, after living in the back of every thought.
I swallow the negativity and grasp the significance.

I rewind time. In simple seconds after guessing how much I'd hate to relive this again.
I can make the impossible happen in my sublime world.
With a push of a button, I can't be discouraged.
Frame by frame in my mind I go back to everything I already had.
To the days handed over so easily. But, those days are out of reach for me.

I recall when things were perfect, the things that I took for granted.
I ask is it all irreplaceable?
What are the odds like, and when do they give up?
Or is my brilliant passion a delusion?
Can my efforts be defined as enough?
I always ask too much, too soon.
I finally faced my fear only to find my faith abandoned by ideas that decayed.
I have learned my lesson. Maybe it is meant to be this way.


Will you lose consciousness and recollect the information after time?
Excuse me, I can too, read your mind.
Will you forgive me for confiding, like a child blinded by the innocence of common sense.
Somethings I wish to forget.
I accept responsibility, can you empathize with me?
If a penny were to please you I would give you plenty.  
I would give you my very last; even the shirt off my back.
I just wish I knew half as much as you.

Now is what I bring to you; today is all I have.
I hate to constantly be relieving my uneventful past.
Clever, rushed and unafraid.
Yet, my power is to leave your world complete.
Let me show you whirls of grace, through descriptive words I've grown to know inside and out.
Like magic and fairies and gratified lust, let me make you cry.
I will fracture silence and bring out the person you wish you could be.
I know I can not hurt you intentionally.
Take a step forward and masquerade the memories with music.
On the edge of the end of the rest of the world.
I will show you the beginning of this incomparable girl

You are green.
Like my sorry.
I fill your buckets with ideas of promises,
but my worry breaks the illusion of the possibilities.

I am ocd.

I fear the worlds gift of breath and excitement.
I wont face the end of the tale.
I wish I were dreaming but its too hard to make it
just another thought in the back of my head.

My blood, scars and becomes infected
and wounds are left with no protection.

I want to heal.
But I am stuck behind a glass.
I am too far back.
Just go on without me.
I'll surrender eventually.

And I will be green like you,
too.

I believe in Santa not because he's real.
But because of his existence I know exactly how I feel.
He brings joy to all the children with his spirit and his gifts.
And I am for certain, I'm on his nice kids list.
I believe in love and laughter and this is my advantage.
Because without Santa, all I have is an empty package

She knows it all it seems.
In the space above the clouds
there is a dreamer who believes heaven is below her,
looking up into her eyes.
And then, she falls asleep.
There's no glass in between heaven and you,
to catch her if she falls.
But she's brave enough to peek up at the almost.
Gosh, it was so close.
There's still sunlight in the cracks, the twinkle in her eyes says she'll be back.
So you just cant say no, even if you want to.
But she knows it all it seems.
Even if she's wrong. She continues to dream, and
she still believes in you,
even after all you've put her through.
And she sits,
in between the space
of heaven, and better days.
Waiting for you to look up to her and say
she's your heaven too.
Because she's brave enough to tell you, almost.
Gosh you were so close,
to the heaven that we all wish we had.

Driving under the lights on a bus going nowhere,
starring into the eyes of a demon
heaving.
not listening to the heartbeat
not seeing
what's right in front of me.

Promises mingle with fall outs
and dreams seem better off
without doubts
but somethings keeping my mouth
from speaking.
What I see
is you abusing me,
and love is just something you say to make me feel better.

Stopping at a red light in a small town,
starring into the eyes of a demon,
bleeding.
Not holding on to the words you speak
I'd rather let go to the tears that I cry,
because it's only your resentment.

Lifted.
By the gift of your soul.
I will surrender, ever after with no resilience.
Fidget in disbelief.
Let the pictures relapse, to recall where this started.
in some safe haven under your spell.
Drifted.
By the scent of something else to make me forget.
Something far too toxic to describe.
Yet it is in dreams we dare to keep the monsters alive.
Sheltered.
By the demons of feeling sorry
I will surrender, ever after with no resilience.
Fidget in disbelief
Let the pictures relapse, and recall where this started.
in some safe haven under your spell.

I believe in you
Even though the pitch dark sea is drowning everything.
I believe the words
You sang to me under the sheets last spring,
so poetically; I hung on to all of those dreams...
But yesterday finally came, and suddenly tomorrow is already here.
All I see are promises falling apart- around the kitchen table.
It's all to shameful.
What is left of you?
Is there nothing left to give??
All I can see are the excuses that you mopped me up with.
I can't embrace that shade of your heart,
so I thought it over,
so many times I lost count.
Lets just start over
it is the only thing that ever makes sense anymore.
I ask myself, "what the hell am I doing here still
Am I crazy is everyone as clueless as me?"
It's just me--
I don't know all the in-betweens.
But I wish I did.
Just like I know you wish you knew..
the thoughts that flicker behind my eyelids-
if you only knew..
I've always hated being in the dark

You let all the things get to your head.
Even after all that I said
I guess you'll never trust me
the way that I trust you.
And me-
Oh, I've always believed
in the magic of our love.
Why is it so hard to go-
with the flow of traffic?
Why do we all want to surpass it?
Why can't we just go along-
holding onto the hope that we need,
why cant we just believe?
It'll all work out
in the end.
In the end of everything-
everything will be just fine.
As long as I am yours
and you are mine.

I run
towards the sunlight
that lights up your eyes.
and hide from reality...
Wish it could only be,
you and me
together.
Our hearts race
underneath
the nervousness
of the definition of
eternity.
But I see you believe in me,
Forever
and I wouldn't have it any other way.
This is our sweet escape.

I like the simplicity of a story.
When the words make perfect sense.
So you can feel it in your heart,
and your bones get a slight chill.

I like it when you speak to me softly
On the other end of the telephone
and your voice is so calm
that it slows the hand of time.

I like it when the ice cream is slightly melted
and the way you walk with your hands in your pockets
At the fair last summer,
After winning me a prize.

I like the simplicity of life,
it's nice.

Worry.
Some kind of crippling sickness.
Holding on to my brain cells, if there are any left.
I must of held my breath too long.
Maybe that one time, when I was younger,
is the reason my memory is lacking.
Maybe through all my rebellion, this is my karma.

Because I can't remember exactly,
but I am worrying about it, nonetheless.
Those moments leading up to my defeat all shelter my vices,
the secrets no one knows about.
And I cannot remember any reasoning.

The anxiety of this flashback keeps me wondering,
will I ever stop the worry
about the things I can't change?
Or will I keep on
blaming myself for the things that have happened?

I'm disgusted with myself
as I am with all my troubles.
I'm ashamed of  things I've done,
the past is so hard to forget.
I want to change who I'm becoming
But I'm stuck on yester-years.
This is what happens
when I blame myself.

Words that he clung to like confetti in the air,
Ups and downs, and truths or dares.
Strangers gossiping without a care.
Jealous much? You can't compare.

He says
"Look me in the eye and tell me
What it is I need to know."
Excused wrapped in lies
Tied with pretty bows.

He's lost in translation,
lost in love.
Has no where to turn
He's run out of luck.

He's standing next to nothing.
And losing his mind.
But he's better off
if he leaves the lies behind.

But everybody knows love is blind
He is nothing special, of the kind.
Infatuated just as much
as anybody else was once.

So leave it all
and walk away.
Little white lies
are too much pain.

Sometimes love gets lost
in the middle of uncertainty.
When  I start to think of you,
and forget all about me.
Sometimes luck runs out
And hearts get bruised and damaged.
But  some how we keep trying
To see what's left to salvage.
But all I see is a shadow
of some kind of silhouette
of stranger that I used to know
Someone I keep trying to forget.
When all I wanted was a lover
Someone who held my hand,
to comfort all my troubles
when the world forgets who I am.
Maybe I'm too much of a dreamer.
Maybe I'm a wreck.
But I'm easy to  please,
Just hard to impress.

It was blue underneath the stars again,
Both, the twinkle in your eye and in the sky are lost somewhere else.
I cried when I realized the obvious.
As the sky sinks into eternal  kaledesope of my own imagination.
Swirling orange with pink and blue.

Empty eyes tell a story.
Once, there was a reason I believed in you.
Back when we were laughing.
Now I'm stuck wishing for all the rainbows to evaporate this depression in the basement.
I blame myself because I should have known better.
and suddenly I remember all that was invested and how easy it is to be blinded by someone.

Our dreams were our paradise, once upon a time.
When sheets were clouds in heaven-
And wonderland was somewhere we called home.
Paradise was somewhere,
When magic lit the moonlight with satisfaction and opened doors to let me in.
Somehow laying there life made sense
then time passed us just like in a movie, even as it rained.

But it falls apart.

A heart is tougher than a bulletproof jacket.
The ones you hurt are usually innocent.
Someones daughter, sister, mother, friend.
This time, it was me.
But today's sunrise is another simple miracle,
Something not to take for granted..
Because troubles always make a survivor

Do you forget
I'm just a dreamer?
Inside my head
fighting the monsters.
I'm not afraid
to face you there-
inside my head
I am not scared.
You might believe
in losing the war
But anythings possible
That's what dreaming is for.
So give it a chance
go where nobody goes
a wild imagination
where nobody knows
that you are a fighter,
that challenges fate.
Where you pave the roads
and go your own way.

12:23 in the morning.
Cold underneath my blankets
Some kind of deep day dreaming
Wide awake, fighting the sleep that I need
Desperately needing
Some kind of comfort
you can't give to me
So wrapped up in the would have been's.
Losing faith in could of been's.
Wishing that it really happened
so hard it hurts my stomach
and causes migraines so bad because I really want it.
Just like I want chocolate
Just like I want a hug.
Just like I want to forget
All that once was us
Suffering in the silence
of the coldness in the room
trying so **** hard
to forget, well-
You

I've changed, but you don't let me forget
the things I've done, or the things I've said.
I'm  better, but you think I'm still sick
I'm trying to keep my focus
but you have me distracted.
Life's not always easy,
I've paved a path at something hard.
Twisted in the problems.
Your negativity keeps me discouraged.
Trying to move forward,
trying to move on.
Trying to keep my self together
Praying that I stay strong.
Tell me I'm forgiven.
Give me motivation
I promise that I'm sorry
for all the promises that I've broken.

Boy.
You're like an ice cream cone
I want to eat from head to toe.
You smile, I think it makes me weak
Your shyness has me at the knees
You're sweeter then sugar,
but you got be naughty.
I can tell that want it,
like the way I want your body.
You are looking so fly,
and yet you don't believe me.
Look me strait in the eye
and be too much of a good thing
I can see myself in trouble
But in a good way.
We could be almost be lovers
would you like to play?
I don't see a problem
Maybe lust has me blind.
Tell me all your secrets
And we'll be just fine.

I was naive when it came to love.
But he was the boy of my dreams I swear
he gave me things that I can't explain
and we were lovers without a care.
I was a queen in our fantasy
and he was the king who ruled my heart
We were alive in our masterpiece
nothing could ever tear us apart.
but we were bad for each other, it's true
Always fighting about something else
had to break away from our cycle
but couldn't stand to be by myself.
so I ran back into his arms
almost every other night.
and I would love him for eternity
or just until another fight.
And he would tell me that I was beautiful
So I never considered abuse
But we would disagree about something
and he would blow another fuse.
But he had the charm of a prince
And when I looked him in the eyes
he was just a devil
in disguise

New boy.
New charm.
New game, new arm.
New chase.
New dream.
A brand new me.
New love.
New lust
New future
New trust
New happiness
New karma
New promises
New drama
New things
New steps
New plans
New mess
New crowd
New everything starting now.

I can't pretend I don't think about you
You left me with a big space in my heart.
I don't have all the answers at all
But I know that I must go on.
I can't escape the memory of you.
The smell of chocolate reminds me of you
I don't know how to keep you out of my mind
But I know what is best for me.
I couldn't imagine life without you
Its hard to see past all what could of been
I don't know how to get over you
But I know I will eventually.

Darling,
Why are you so distant from me all of sudden?
I can almost feel the lies in the bottom of my stomach.
I can almost tell this conversation is going no where fast
We're circling the block again, this love will never last.
Honey,
Why is everything so backwards and things are upside down?
Could you keep the promises you made this time around?
I'm trying to keep up with you, the best way that I can.
Trying to stay positive by trying to hold your hand.
But darling,
I'm swallowing my pride as everything begins to slip.
Just trying to ignore all the negative.
I'm holding my breath for you
But mainly just for me.
Closing my eyes, and just trying to breath.
But lover,
Everything is complicated
and it's all down hill from here
This is just another tearful fight and another broken mirror.

Broken, broken. Words I've spoken. Life I've chosen
agony.
Hungry, hungry. Don't you want me? Feed me here
helplessly.
Broken, hungry, hopeless me.
Tear me down, so viciously
Judge me here right on the street
then pass me by,  ignorantly
I'm hungry, cold, and hopeless
and you think it's all a choice.
You think I'd chose to do this
but it's my parents vice.
I ran away from them
I didn't think twice
For, he used me and abused me, and I had no where to run
but to these streets of hopelessness,
where I had freedom.

Songs playing in the background
of a cold winters day
Fog clouds up the air, in the most depressing way
I'm sitting on the inside
and that's where I'll stay.
To depressed to move,
wish the pain would go away.
I remember what he told me
this time last year.
we were meant to be together
I swore he was sincere.
He broke promises
as I shed tears.
I guess this whole time I knew
what I really feared.
This game
My shame
his hearts not tamed.
Someone please save
me.
I want a new love to forget
everything he ever said.
I want a new lover in my bed
to cover up these tears I shed.
I want a new lover
but now is not the time.
because I hold these secrets,
and I know that love is blind.
I want a new lover
to put all this behind.
I want something to be all of mine.

I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow.
I am not a fortune teller.
All I know is what I have to look forward to
even though I'm completely broken right now.
everything was completely taken from me
I've been defeated more than once.
Took my pride, took my dignity
Took my things, and stole my life.
So many things I can replace
that's how I keep my chin up.
Maybe tomorrow will bring them to me.
Maybe tomorrow I'll have better luck.
So many things I have misplaced
but maybe tomorrow will give them back.
If I remember to look forward to
the only thing I really have...
and that's tomorrow.

Make me feel pretty but don't tell me a lie. Prove it by your actions, boy.
You wrote me a poem, but now do what you need- to keep me around, please.
Take me to the movies, take me on date, start up the fire if you believe in fate.
Hold me in your arms, show me the world or what you can make of it, if I was your girl.
Make me feel special, I'd do the same- if only you knew I'm not playing games.
Show me your insides, feelings and all- don't be a mannequin building a wall.
Tell me the words, I want to hear. Don't let this moment disappear.
Boy, I'll tell you something, don't laugh at the truth. I already know what I'd do for you.

Starting over, once again.
Told my mother, I had enough.
Been defeated once or twice.
Gave it up, all for love.
Lost my mind,
Broke my things,
Been defined by my mistakes
Threw my future all away
When I gave it up, for love.
Lost my dream, lost my head
Fell so hard in love instead
Now I'm trying to catch up
Because I gave it all up for love.

The past is catching up to me.
I'm living in my head again.
I'm trying to forget it
but it's all you left me with.

I'm trying to move on from you
I'm trying to be happy too
but its so hard to escape the truth
Because it's all you left me with.

I wonder how your doing still
I try to fight it with all my will
But I can't forget the happy times
Because it's all you left me with.

I seem to be out of my mind
for loving all the painful times
but it's easy to remember you
Because it's all you left me with.

Once something was.
Now nothing is.
Underneath the silence,
I knew what you really meant.
I feel you escaping, from my memory
like a distant dream I try so hard to remember
how happily everything was together.
When we still believed in forever.
How we tried, tried, tried to make it all fit-
but now we are only filled with somethings that we regret.
Are you scared?
Because I am,
just like you say you don't give a ****.
I feel your fears in my nightmares
When I'm talking to the moon.
When you're talking it at too.
Because we both know we are crazy
That's what everyone else said,
and now, now, now
I truly believe in it.
Two timing,
backstabbing,
pain wrenching truth.
I can't even remember when you last said I love you.
But I remember the night of the fall
the night we lost it all
engraved in my memory
left with ptsd
How horrible our ending ended
this is how you wanted to spend it?
Our priceless love and meaningless affection
covered in lies, without protection.
Emptiness fills this state of mind.
your only friend, is the hands of time.
oh but time,
time,
time...
isn't on my side.

I must be weak. I must be broken
all that you done has caused me to choke and
I lost my mind. I can't forget you.
these feelings I hide
You might just see right through
All of my fears, all that I'm scared of
All of these tears I can't show you because
I never meant
all that I said.
all that i wanted was you out of my head.
I can't just be
eternally happy.
I can't just be in the right mind
You make me think I'm never fine
you make me love madly and deeply
But I'm not myself and you'll never please me
We're a mistake, you will not bend
get out of my way, lets not pretend.

Sheltered deep inside
Somewhere secrets hide
My imagination is sky high
After all the years of put downs
Years of feelings bottled up
Are ready for escaping
My smiles cover up the fears
As my fears blind all my dreams
                                                        and
                                                               tears
                                                                       fall
                                                                             from
                                                                                     heaven
                                                                                                 and
                                                                                                        make
                                                                                                                  me
                                                                                                                         soar

You are so mysterious, guess its part of your charm.
Your eyes are hypnotizing, guess that's why I try not to stare too long.
I try to keep you talking yet your silence turns me on.
Don't be alarmed.
I'm only honest.
But with it comes all the fears.
It's something I've been keeping from you, after all these years.
You are in my day dream, but I don't have the nerve.
You deserve the truth, but I can't find the courage.
I keep it in my secrets,
and I know I'll never brake.
Time will let it happen,
I believe in fate.

Capture the essence of the moment and enliven in some kind of miracle;
Some higher altitude beyond outer space.
Inside something that only dreams can make sense of, breathe the sparkles of dust
that create atoms into matter.
Use yourself as an instrument and deliver some kind of meaning that tells some magical story
to your brother, sister, or some complete stranger.
Connect us all together.
Brighten up some sad face that has nothing to look forward to.
Bring joy to those children who need someone to look up to, and be an example.
Know yourself inside and out, and dance inside your imagination.
Fight the demons you can't conquer in reality.
Ignore whatever stigma people think they can define you with
Show the world what you are truly made of.
And be instinctively yourself, a person with charm and elegance, and control.
Applude yourself, even when you know you have accomplished something so epic and trivial.
Be what you naturally would; as money were no object.
Glorify in the person, you come face to face to challenge.
And bring yourself to understand it is not about you anymore.
Because everyone has a story to tell, and you are telling it.
Understand this and you have stepped into my soul

How could this be
the same mistake?
I thought I've changed,
But I'm still the same.
How could I fall?
I must be stupid
got no one around
to help me get through this
How could I
let down my guard?
I confused lust with love
now I'm falling apart
How could you lie
and tell me you love me?
Break my heart,
and take everything from me.
How could this be,
the same mistake?
I thought I learned
But nothing has changed.
How could I fall?
I must be blind-
a stupid girl, left for dead this time.
How could this be
The same mistake?
Maybe its time
to give up on love anyway.

She was wasting her time.
On a boy who didn't give a ****.
A boy who only held her hand, just to use her.
She was so in love,
and it was supposed to be so beautiful
but everybody else stepped in to warn her
she was innocent in all their eyes,  
they said, don't let him use you.
But all the help, she did forget,
because abuse is something you never want to get use to.

Nothing makes sense when everyone seems to be against you.
And nobody's help makes sense because a boy only distracts you.
And nothing makes sense when you want it all to work
Then again, reality only sets in
after you get hurt.
Why are we all so
Naive and brilliant...
When we are younger?
Why do we fall,
if  we could of just listened to our mother

We are naive and brilliantly stupid in love
Of course we think we know it all when we are 18.
We like to think we'll never fall until we lose everything.
But that's what you get for being naive and brilliantly stupid in love

He was wasting her time
By lying to an angel.
she was so innocent once before,
But then he broke her smile.
But no one wants to help her now that he is gone.
That stupid girl honestly believed he was the one.

But nothing makes sense, because everybody's advice is stupid.
Nothing makes sense because their love is special confuseing.
And nothing makes sense when you're only listening to your heart.
But nothing will make sense because love is not supposed to fall apart.
And even when you want it all to work...
nothing makes sense until you get hurt.
Why are we all so
Naive and brilliant...
When we are younger?
Why do we fall,
if we could have listened to our mother

We are naive and brilliantly stupid in love

Of course we think we know it all when we are 18.
We like to think we'll never fall until we lose everything.
But that's what you get for being naive and brilliantly stupid in love

and  of course nobody else knows a single thingShe's the only one who'se ever been 18
she's the only special one, who knows exactly how to solve everything.
So leave her all alone to make her mistakes.
She's never going to listen to our advice anyway.
because of course you know she'll never give it up.
Being stubborn is part of being stupid  in love.

These circles resting inside of squares.
My empty daydreams lie in nightmares.
Plastic homes,
tucked in for the night.
Sleeping comfortablly
with no peace in sight.
Another character from my subconscious senses
No way to justify my mixed up sentenses.
But you stayed with me to keep me company.

During the day changes reappear.
But noting was ever very clear
Between you and me.
beneath the kitchen table,
the emptiness shines on the wooden floor.
It is the only beautiful thing left in this room anymore.
When you left for work, or when I left to play,
We closed our eyes
to give excuse to get away.

As you approached the corner full of memories
I erased the outline of everything we thought we'd be.
These feelings are invisible to you
But your pain was forever stuck to you like super glue.
You played the music loud,
and kept me at a distance
The sounds turned themselves into somekind of profound visions
And I read between the lines.
Nothing that belong to you could ever be mine.

So we waited
At the bus stop
And I waited in the car.
You waited
by the bathroom
And I waited in the bar.
And we waited
and waited
so much that we hated.
But we waited
And tried not to look concered at all
But the waiting
was the pressure that made you fall

We were fadnig like the photographs you took of your past.
Something I said had to make you laugh?
But you kept replaying your first love over in your head.
Sometimes I wish I were her instead.

Everything was echoing together mixing,
overlappig the boundaries in the dirt.
I didn't realize how much you hurt.
But everythig keeps holdig us back
We were never going forward.
It's why I left somewhere in the middle to say the least.
I naturally wanted to feel relieved.

You were focused on keeping my attenetion.
I was always changing subjects.
You were seeking more affection
But I still had to change the subject.
Stories were spiraling up into the sky,
You were living just to die.
What things mattered to you the most?
When we look back together on the long road?
What images sneak their way back into your mind?
Was it me or is it still her this time?

If it were different we could just be happy
reasons become meaningless after a while
I peeked behind my eyelids once
while you were falling asleep, watching me smile.
But now
It's pointless to ask reoccurring questions
Or remember once upon a times.
Pointless to blame myself
No answer is even worth a dime.

I will never get the closure
that most people need.
You  only get the glory of never being freed.
Everyone gets the first look at your real face
Watching you  fall, and fall and fall and fall.
Take a good hard look into the brick mirror...
Now who's the one who has it all?

I can hear the voice inside me,
over the echoing crowd
It is my saving grace sometimes
when I'm down and out.
And faith is not just a glimmer
of neither solace or lights embrace.
Because your angry temper
will put you in your place.
I will go on knowing,
That genius tune I sing-
Will be the answer to
all the negativity that you bring.
And sometime when you hear my name
remember when you had
the chance to overwhelm me
and the chance to love me back.
Once we were together
dancing underneath the stars.
But without your negativity
I will go so very far.

We ran from the tears.
But the strength of our cries inside our nightmares became something deceiving.
You heard it in the other room, when I was dreaming.

Blind and convinced that waves of illusions would flash me by, I psyched myself out.
I traveled outside in different electrons and what not.
Asleep and floating on the music note of my heartbeat's base.

Some kind of radiance appeared in the back of my head, like it did after every story.
Happily ever after you said once or twice before.

I imagined things nicer because you lied to me.
But that was love, or some kind of protection.
Shadows and presents cover up the technicalities
The footprints on the ground had painted colors into our adventures with owls and dragons...

It was the two of us lost in our tales in dreamland.
The stream of make believe we created glued the words to the page, and I followed my instinct.
I knew where to find you.
It was cold. But we were too far ahead to call it off now.
Closing our eyes to escape form the monsters of reality became habitual and
The white picket fence separates our two worlds from colliding.
Like the words do, that describe peace and war.

Hiding in treasure chest are the skeletons of what we wanted to be when we grew up.
That's just unrealistic anymore.