I saved the best for last.
I saved the end til now.
To mark the sky in oil paints.

Some days the world seems
To spin faster.
And I'm left feeling
Dizzy and confused.
Hoping to catch my breath
Before I collapse.

Sometimes missing you
Takes every molecule of oxygen
I have in my lungs.
And my lungs are devastated
Withered and gasping for air.

Some days I feel like
I'm sitting with my back to the fire.
And it's melting away
The layers of my skin.
But my face never reveals,
The pain, and undying loss.
Until one day,
Everyone I love will awaken.
To the charred ashes of my remains
And a note that says I'm sorry,
I didn't know how to show you.
I did not know what to say.
How do you describe a loss so great
With only words to say.

The scariest moment
Is realizing that I've forgotten
I've forgotten what it was like
To have you here.
And this new world
Where you aren't has become
A world I've become accustomed to.
My new norm,
And that is terrifying

You tell me how I write offends you.
That my use of memory,
Insults you.
It's weird for you to write of past loves,
As you are surrounded by new love.
I'm sorry my words,
My ability to relate to someone else,
Maybe help them with their struggles,
Outweighs that I may offend,
Another heart attached to mine.
So my words are silenced.
In fear of your offense.

My mind is empty of
Words.
And I am not sure if it is
Because I have nothing to say.
Or if I simply have so much to say
My thoughts are congealed like
Coagulated blood at a razor wound.
Irreversible.