I have had passion.
I have had over the top,
Bring you to your knees love.
Have had...
Meaning past tense.
Because passion fades.
It is like a mirage.
Fading the closer to it you get.
An ambient light,
Gone as soon as you near.
I have had utterly devote love.
I'd do anything for you.
I'd be any one for yoh.
Had, past tense.
The thing with all that.
All the things the books write out
In love stories.
Created to make you believe
That real love.
True love should be
This all consuming love.
That drops you to your knees
This passion you can not control.
That's not real love.
That isnt true love.
Those are fairytales
With fairytale creates.
For children to learn that love isnt scary.
Real love is hard
It's a choice.
It's annoying, and aggravating.
Its smiling but also wanting to slap them.

It took me a long time to learn.
Real love is a slow burn.
That ignites randomly.
And you're consumed with it.
But itll burn down.
Smolder instead of ignite.
And you fall into this blissful.
Ordinary.
Ordinary life.
Filled with everyday tasks.
And in between the ordinary.
Are these extraordinary
Ignitions of passion.
And those,
That is what true love is.
Ordinary moments of choice
With extraordinary moments
Of passion.

I breath you in.
Deep drawing breaths.
Hoping to make them last.
Until I see you again.
As if to breath
Your very essence into my soul.
Brand your scent into mine.
To last a lifetime.

We used to chase dreams together.
Set our sites on another adventure.
Another goal to crush.
My dreams became yours.
Your dreams became mine.
And our stars turned into the same universe.

But when your stars burnt out.
My universe changed color.
And I was left,
Wondering where I was.
The dreams we used to chase together,
I had to chase myself.
And I wasn't ever sure if I'd make it.
If I'd conquer the adventures without you.
And our dreams would die with you.

But I'm chasing those dreams
I'm finding those adventures.
And I've picked up a few people on the way.
So our dreams,
Your dreams,
Are very much alive.
I've got them for you.
And each one I achieve.
Each adventure I take,
I'll be bringing you too.

You will never truly die.
Because a writer loved you dearly.
And every adventure,
Every story will forever
Have a piece if you in it.

My grief for the loss of you
Is indescribable.
But,
It'll never be more
Then the grief you must have
For not being here.
I lost you
But you lost all of us.
Ripped from here
In an instant.
You weren't given even
A moment to say goodbye.
To collect your thoughts,
Only moments to realize:
You weren't ready to go.
So my grief my be breathtaking
And my grief may drop me to my knees.
But yours must be more.
It must reverberate off the walls
Of heaven like a shock wave.
Shattering souls.
And I try to remember while
I may have lost you.
I am still here.
I am still alive.
And every moment I take for granted
Every minute I waste wishing I
Was dead, not here.
Wishing I could give up.
Is another loss for you
Another blow to your heart.
Because I am still here.
I am still able to make a difference
Be the change.
The change you saw in me.
So I'm doing my best
To remember
That i am still here.

The finish line is here.
I've finally crossed it.
Finally gotten to the end
Of this chapter
Graduation.
Finally a nurse.
Only the state boards
Stand in my way
Of the very beginning
Of my dreams.

And all at once
It hits me
One look
And how much
I truly love you
Drowns me.
And I'm soaked
To the bone.
Never having known
This immense a love.