Will you abandon all hope whilst blood still courses through your veins?
Will you open your mouth to the force fed propaganda swallowed readily by the masses?
Drink from the goblet of lies to sit like a cesspool in your stomach, a stench of rot and decay .
Cross the road to avoid the homeless girl as she counts her pennies , her cold dark hell a kinder place than the horror she avoids .
What do you know as you protest of hardship and horror and pain in the comfort of your four walls?
Emotionally devoid - they've seen to that . Comfortably numb in your own small world .
Immersed in triviality and lifted fleetingly by material niceties , averting your gaze from all that leaves a sour taste in your mouth .
Do you feel fulfilled brother , as you watch the destruction in far off lands ?
Do you not feel sick to your stomach as you turn your gaze from the images on the screen of man destroyed - their bodies lifeless and broken - in the name of war and power and religion .
Do you sleep soundly in your bed with the belief that you are in control ?
Wake up!...You were not born to this world to close your eyes to all that unnerves you.
You think you are safe in your small kingdom - untouchable .
But the ugliness will fill every pore of your being and you will flounder in a sea of guilt that will become a madness that will eat you from within until you too lie broken .

My world is a fairground.
A terrifying roller coaster ride that never ends.
Stomach lurching, gut wrenching, adrenaline flooding , heart thumping.
You are forced to take a seat ..but I know you detest the thrill seeker.
And yet somehow I have signed you up.

This theme park has a dark side Dear one, within lies chaos too.
To join me is  to balance on the steepest precipice,
The sharpest, thinnest knife edge.
For fear of eruption , explosion - anger like molten lava spilling from the volcano.

I take you high sometimes - up and up.
A fleeting taste of what could be bliss.
Outer shell discarded just for a moment.
A glimpse of the unguarded woman within.

Only to tear you from your stillness.
The Merry go round once more.
Falling! falling! stomach lurching, white knuckle horror.
To love me is a feat indeed .

Your love is a dagger sunk deep to the hilt.
Flesh parting like a gaping mouth to expose my bleeding heart within my breast.
You are still here but for how long?
Before you drift away like mist until it was like we never were.
Sailing away like a ship on the ocean , oblivious to my cries.
You are my rock ... My everything, my anchor in this desolate world.
But my soul holds a darkness that  I cannot contain.
Spewing its filthy blackness to taint our perfect love.
Ripping the beauty so fragile from its bed like a hurricane uproots the trees.
Unbidden and uninvited , yet tearing with unbridled fury on its  path.
Leaving nothing but remnants , shards of passion scattered with careless abandon.
Laughing gaily on its journey of destruction.
My skin milk white longs for your touch.
A reminder of the love so pure, a love that demands nothing except to be.
Your hands upon my thighs, parting to make way for your entry.
Your lips upon mine, melting my soul until we are one and the same.
A hunger, a thirst that only you can quench.
Your body cleaving  mine in a joyous rapture.
A memory that lasts long after we are spent .
As I lie in bed beside you in delirious blissfulness.
Do not go sweet love of mine.
To sail away to distant shores,  ever smaller in the distance.
Until you are but a dot on the horizon,
My heart beats still for you.

My parents they schooled me to plan in advance.
To not live in the moment or leave things to chance.
They convinced me that life was a dangerous game,
And around every  corner lurked sorrow and pain.

My childish innocence stolen away,
My sunshine exchanged for an ever cloudy day.
My hope extinguished and dreams chastised,
Rainbows replaced with brooding skies.

Belly full of anguish and fear and dismay,
These are my gifts I endure each day.
Intricately stitched, deep in my soul,
Nurtured by them , the hands of control .

To some the **** is an ugly invader.
To me it is a thing of beauty, determined and single minded,
Tall and proud amongst its colourful, more favoured bedfellows.

Resistive to the attempts of the zealous gardener to destroy it,
Poor relation amongst prize winning blooms.
It's beauty lies not in petals of dazzling rainbow hues,
But in its steadfast determination to fight back, year on year.

The **** is honest and unapologetic for its existence.
It does not await applause from shallow onlookers.
Confident on its journey .

I am the **** , with depths that others cannot see.
I will stand tall when others falter.
Their beauty will fade in time, outer shell that was once their saviour,wilted and dull.
My beauty, like the ****, lies within.

This heart still yearns for you
And all we could have been.
Our love is  now a crash site!
We’re dying at the scene.
The wounds are deep..near fatal.
Too numerous to attend.
We call it now....the final hour.
The bell must toll its end.






.

I find myself drifting, drawn deep within myself.
Until I feel completely alone.
A horrifying kind of alone.
The  kind that engulfs and terrifies.
An aloneness that I have learned to hide.
Disguised behind a bright smile and capable nature.
But inside I am crying an ocean.
Endless tears that stain my cheeks when darkness comes.
Anguish that swells and threatens to choke the life from me.
I am afraid in this unconnected place I inhabit.
So very afraid.