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 Nov 2020 Cait
Maya
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 Nov 2020 Cait
Maya
The leaves crackle
beneath boots heavy
with our tension.

The thread winds
and it winds
and it winds,
stretched taut

with every word
yelled quietly.
A game of telephone

family gossip factory
pumping out misspoken
and misheard
words. Peacemaker

sticking their nose in the
cerulean fire.
On forced walks

we pick pinecones
and get pricked
by their sharp
edges hard enough

to cause pain,
not quite to bleed.
Outside the pine walls

where my windpipe
can fall open
hearth smoke drifts and congests
and it smells like autumn.
 Nov 2020 Cait
Conrad Aiken
How is it that I am now so softly awakened,
My leaves shaken down with music?--
Darling, I love you.
It is not your mouth, for I have known mouths before,--
Though your mouth is more alive than roses,
Roses singing softly
To green leaves after rain.
It is not your eyes, for I have dived often in eyes,--
Though your eyes, even in the yellow glare of footlights,
Are windows into eternal dusk.
Nor is it the live white flashing of your feet,
Nor your gay hands, catching at motes in the spotlight;
Nor the abrupt thick music of your laughter,
When, against the hideous backdrop,
With all its crudities brilliantly lighted,
Suddenly you catch sight of your alarming shadow,
Whirling and contracting.
How is it, then, that I am so keenly aware,
So sensitive to the surges of the wind, or the light,
Heaving silently under blue seas of air?--
Darling, I love you, I am immersed in you.
It is not the unraveled night-time of your hair,--
Though I grow drunk when you press it upon my face:
And though when you gloss its length with a golden brush
I am strings that tremble under a bow.
It was that night I saw you dancing,
The whirl and impalpable float of your garment,
Your throat lifted, your face aglow
(Like waterlilies in moonlight were your knees).
It was that night I heard you singing
In the green-room after your dance was over,
Faint and uneven through the thickness of walls.
(How shall I come to you through the dullness of walls,
Thrusting aside the hands of bitter opinion?)
It was that afternoon, early in June,
When, tired with a sleepless night, and my act performed,
Feeling as stale as streets,
We met under dropping boughs, and you smiled to me:
And we sat by a watery surface of clouds and sky.
I hear only the susurration of intimate leaves;
The stealthy gliding of branches upon slow air.
I see only the point of your chin in sunlight;
And the sinister blue of sunlight on your hair.
The sunlight settles downward upon us in silence.
Now we ****** up through grass blades and encounter,
Pushing white hands amid the green.
Your face flowers whitely among cold leaves.
Soil clings to you, bark falls from you,
You rouse and stretch upward, exhaling earth, inhaling sky,
I touch you, and we drift off together like moons.
Earth dips from under.
We are alone in an immensity of sunlight,
Specks in an infinite golden radiance,
Whirled and tossed upon silent cataracts and torrents.
Give me your hand darling! We float downward.
 Nov 2020 Cait
jay
Help
 Nov 2020 Cait
jay
.Roses are dead,
Violets are crying.
I'm stuck in the hospital,
They say that I'm dying
.
 Nov 2020 Cait
ghost
stars
 Nov 2020 Cait
ghost
look at the stars
                              isn't it bizarre
I see you up there
like a tiny flare
                              in that huge sky
-
you left me
                              in this world to die
                                 we could've gone together
                                         but just like the weather
      you're unpredictable
     but isn't this just typical
-
                I believe in love
                  so we will reunite above
as our children will gaze at us
I gaze at you
well, I technically mean that person is dead. just saying if you don't get it.
 Nov 2020 Cait
Try
Pain addict
 Nov 2020 Cait
Try
I wrote a novel, only I can read
Deep down in my personal library
A hidden quiet but loud room
Only I have access to this doom
My heart the paper I bled on it
Blood my ink, help me speak
It's loud and clear I'm a pain addict

I breathe better with a pen in my hand
Sounds disturbing of course I'm sad
It feels right when I write on the sand
A tour in the darkness I hear voices
Write or die, face down I'm on my knees
My heart certainly bears my mind malice
Somebody help me, I'm a pain addict

— The End —