I'm a dead person living in shambles,
The ever so tempting urge to disappear,
Is beckoning me from the corridor,
Smelling of easy success.
It's lips like candied cotton,
Eyes of care and warmth,
It's whispers all I've ever wanted to hear,
And promises me that I, too, can dream,
Regardless, it will follow me.

You must not bleed nor bend nor break,
You cannot fall or fail to fly-
Stretch your wings from sky to land,
And soar until you close your eyes.

The parched ground is flooding,
Failing to swallow the brewing storm up-
A slight freeze hazes over the sidewalks,
Numbing my feet as I walk.
My lips bleed sweet rain,
My teeth chew flowery skin,
Strolling casually through a cold autumn night,
Illuminated in vibrant orange lights.

The trees change color in front of my eyes,
The leaves flutter and fall,
Shriveled and withering,
As if commanded to die.
Surroundings blurred by the watery moon,
The silent snowdrops begin to wane,
Leaving behind it's heat on my face,
And a flurry of hope that's blown away.

Car lights slip routinely across the top of the room, patterned in twos.
As the song plays on and on, any thoughts dissipate into the tune.

A puzzle piece is gone,
Leaving a gaping hole in my plans-
Every work is incomplete.

A hard barricade,
If only I could weasel through,
Can't deconstruct it with brute strength.

No conclusion seems to end the story,
Good words no longer mine-
Shelf the creativity for another lifetime.

This is why we can never do family outings.
What a mess in the first few minutes.
Gosh, don't they ever get tired of it?
Keep your face straight.
Don't let it get to you,
Just ignore,
Soon it will go away.

It's frightening to look in the mirror,
Behind dead eyes,
Sallow skin,
Unsmiling monotony pierces this person together.
Stretch and bend flattened lips,
Curving into a grimace.
Can't seem to properly laugh,
Frozen inside out to hide my shaking limbs.

(-------), I hate you.
Agh, don't call me by that name!
You are (-------), I am Caine!
Quit following me,
I won't ever look your way!

All I need to hear is you forget this sound.
Never utter it again,
It's revolting,
I want to be unbound.

It's frightening,
This house.
And the person I'm stuck in with it.
I can't tell my friends,
I don't want to bother my dad.
But I feel so scared,
And I don't know what to do.
The only thing keeping him at bay is the threat of getting kicked out.
What do I do?
I can't leave,
I've nowhere to go,
But I sure as hell don't want to stay here.

You are Tender,
I am Tasteless.
You lavishly enjoy your prime,
Wasted on your future's time.
I do naught but watch,
as life becomes present, then past,
Till hell forcibly closes the tab.

How can we rot and grow in conjunction?
Neither yes nor no
brings us out of the middle,
And Bright Grey cannot paint over our darkened monochrome.

He called me (---)...
Now I really don't know what to do.
I squeal breathlessly into my hands,
Biting the flesh of my lips so hard they begin to drip,
With light, iron-tasting blood.
I anxiously lick away my nerves,
Feeling a burst of joy so uncontained
That my body writhes with it,
Rise up through my chest.

I can't stand to not be near,
I want to pry my way into his head,
Hear his private thoughts and replay them in my mind.
Obsessively, he's constantly present within me,
I can't get away so I start to cry,
These tears are those of Elation.

I'm a fool through and through,
But I don't regret this love,
Eternally grateful for his presence,
As I get to witness his perfection.
Unquenchable passion overrides,
But I can't face him with the will,
To pin him down,
Stare unabashedly into his eyes,
Caress his face and rustle his beard,
I don't want to push him further,
So it must wither,
As the morning arrives.

I wish you didn't live within me,
Filthy love,
Transparent gaze,
Spread your arrogant tail,
And then cower in shame before mine!

You are no better than I thought,
But worse than I'd have myself believe,
But imperfections are your strength,
And charm seeps from sadness,
Feeding my sickness,
Yet I'm confident the words that slip over your lips,
Are a mystical cure-all elixir.

Arrogance begets greed,
And greed bleeds humility from the veins,
Popping up like maggots underneath the skin.
I watch goodness writhe and wail,
While evil,
Beautiful evil,
Mends the wounds left behind.

You lap up the purity that pools beneath my feet,
And lean up to tear the scabs-
Of course,
You are not my Eurydice,
But simply gluttony.
It's obsession and impatience,
That manifested the you that lays contentedly in my arms.

I only let you watch me,
Once the night-time fades,
And my fluttering nightingale has finished serenading.
A committed gaze,
Relentless in its chaotic rage.

The fury furrows beneath the skin of my crown,
Cricking it down a notch,
Almost in shame,
As I salivate in my hunger for gratification,
Feeding it piece by piece to my brain.

Before I lose myself in consumption,
Color shall tear me away.
As always,
Black is the prettiest shade,
For Absence is thy name

Feeling miserably enthusiastic,
I waver in living
And turn in my grave,
Rising sleeplessly from rest
And energetically from never-ending nights.

God do I love these contradictions,
I am a walking opposite,
Live and breathe as confusion,
Not even I can understand myself.
The few times I do,
Shame digs me back into my empty grave,
Dark, dusty, and waiting.

Look for me and you will go blind,
Lose your eyes and give away your mind.
Don't search for me,
Following the call?
I've set the plate,
I plan to eat my meal clean.

Eyelids frosted shut,
Gentle glistens of ice protrude alongside the edges,
A glimpse of ethereal immortality,
Regardless of the state of death this body beholds.
If corpses could walk,
Perhaps such enormous fatigue,
Sunken, ****** eyes,
Quivering, unstable limbs and a dry, bitten mouth,
Would not be so abnormal here.

Alas I am a frightful spirit to all who glance upon me,
Bringing their soul right the edge of their chests,
Bursting through their throats in heaving fits of fear.
When wisps of energy return to me by the moonlight,
Everyone whispers of dark magic, necromancy.
The true view,
Seen from the eyes of creatures of the night,
Is only a mortal,
Wriggling about in a futile fight to survive,
Unable to muster any will under daylight.

Support is such a warming hug,
So gentle and concise-
It makes me crave it all the more,
And I wander in search of angels.

With dusty hair and a strong brown frame,
My angel pats me so,
Quietly muttering that she'll love me regardless.

Across the room,
With palpable sass,
My devil-angel smiles,
Comforting me with presence alone.

Their marks are left engraved on my skin,
But in a kindly way-
Not ****** as my scolding words,
That I remind me of through pain.

How do you stomach this feeling?
I'm on the verge of tears, reeling,
Overcome with the stagnation of this year,
Yet I haven't shed a single drop-
Eyes bone dry,
With no sign they'll stop.

I speak 5 words a day,
Only courteous hailing,
Avoiding everyone I know,
I think I'm destined to be alone.
I could ***** with a slight push,
Sickened and cold.

Unsteady hands write words they barely know,
Vision blurring as I see the screen,
Feeling like a fraud with good opportunities.
I shouldn't be here,
But I've no where else to go-
And I never will,
Not until I've made my own,
Even family won't let a failure back home.

Is it really such a bad thing?
A terrible thought,
Something I wish I instantly shot down.

But this warping is getting in my way,
It made me hesitate-
That's an excuse,
I'm all to blame.

Guess I can't save my self,
Took to long to realize,
I'm already insane.

I am shame and failure personified.
I speak tongues of anguish,
And cry hollow tears-
Neither a devil nor angel,
What remains is only evil.

A carving, delicate painting, of nature's beauty-
Every goddess covets what you hold-
They need your devotion,
I only want your attention.

Turn away from me,
I will follow in the shade of your figure,
Grasping at every penny you flick back,
A ***** beggar kneeling piously at your feet-
Your pity is what keeps me alive.

Started to miss you,
Before you were gone.
Now you've left,
I'm headed straight back to denial.

My memory is too weak to encapsulate the full spirit of your past presence,
I only have our last moments together on my mind-
Frankly, it was terrifying.

Are you at peace now?
Do you think you'll meet old relations?
Say hello if you happen to pass by.
If there is an afterlife,
I hope you get everything you've ever wanted out of it.
And as time flies,
One day I'll reunite with you.

You rub red lips with a soft finger,
A spark leaps from your eyes,

Igniting the room-
Wading through the flames,
Hand in hand,
Our ashes spread the scent of lust.


OR


Igniting the roses in full bloom,
Wafting their delicate scent
Along the riverside wind as we walk,
The night is freezing but my heart is hot.

I'm sleeping too well lately,
All too fearful of the days to come.
Content with the finality and silence closed eyes bring-
Numb to night-time tears and midnight terrors,
Unable to feel, unable to dream,
A slight hope I'll be blind for eternity,
Enveloped in unmoving, eerie darkness.
The panicked breathing only I can hear,
Slowly muffled by coarse dirt.

Is it wrong for me to seek that peace?
Cowardly and undeserving as I may be,
My worth is higher away from Earth.
Pathetic grumbling,
I mumble mindlessly under my breath,
Consoling a wretched mind each time a night passes,
And I find myself rising to see the sun.
I know where I stand,
And I cannot find my way,
So I lay stranded in a a patch of quicksand,
Hoping it will swallow me quicker so I never age.

There are not enough ways to express how much I crave the sound of silence
Whichever being felt it proper to play games with my brain,
Treat it as a fleshy chessboard
With pieces abound,
Always pushing between responsibility and chaos,
Will I ever curse you,
For I cannot ever escape the chatter that comes with your calculative moves.

No thoughts flow as I type,
Yet there is this infinite flow of words to write,
And none of them sound coherent.
Is this thinking?
But I understand naught a single thing.

Sleep is calling,
I refuse to pick up,
But the song that plays reminds me
I need a refresher, a new day,
Or I'll be stuck on this path a long way,
Before the thoughts behind these thoughts
Make me human as I have been.

Ordinary glass,
Simply shadow,
Staring back,
I can't find my face-
Weathered hands on a worn body.
They ***** my empty neck, searching,
Sorrowfully, for my common sense!

I need to reflect,
But until I find my head,
On this mirror,
I will rely,
For change.
Because,
To move forward,
I must reflect.

Good God,
Writhing heart,
I feel the pinch in my dominant hand.
Naught can stop these stubby knobs from growing cold,
Freezing from joint to tip.
Even I can only witness,
And blow hard as I can-
Even elation, the fleeting warmth,
Cannot stay by my side.
It flits about the flesh,
Breathing life here and there,
But every time the piece revives,
A minutes time will go by,
Before it dies all over again.
What a terrible, terrible loss,
I've made for me to bear-
And yet as I fail to,
I cut it off,
Removing the tumor at the root.
Oh yowl and howl loudly I do,
At every problem I create,
Thinking I'd enjoy the pain,
And yet I still cannot.

Summer rains' enchanting,
Casting its bright and comfy spell,
A sudden drizzle,
Breaking through the sticky heat,
I'm perfectly drenched, just right,
In cool clear-coloured droplets,
That fill up the yard and flood the streets.
Staring at the fading pink within the sky,
Cheering winds race through the grass,
Rain sprinkling aside as they pass by.

The room is dark but I can see everything-
And the storm outside is welcome relief.
Occasional lighting entertains my eyes,
The following pitter-patter a perfect background track.
This cold feeling of liberation!
An unimaginable moment,
I can't capture it.

Your voice,
Flowing and smooth,
This predatory growl,
Poisonous speech!

What do you mean?!
What is the intention-
I feel teased.
Is he oblivious?

I can feel it-
The steam rising through,
Puffing my red cheeks,
Crackling along my neck.
Its hard to breathe
Function-
Ing.
Impossibly.

Barely existing,
Even my shadow,
Can't help but cringe,
Extending its rotten claws,
To cover my panicked pupils.

How is such character,
Coverged in one
Addictive brain,
Alone?

It's disgustingly
Irresistible!
Really a forbidden fruit-
Pinching Eve's salivating mouth,
Foul lips can't touch sacred things.

Even if I pluck it,
I can't touch it.
Less of a dilemma than it could be-
Just a consistent view,
I'm obsessed with its sheen.
Succulent skin,
Can smell the sweet juices from afar.

I bite through my lips with sore teeth,
Acidic blood seals serpentine speech.
I've fallen to the trap of temptation.

**** you, I felt good for a while,
Then I fall right back as you open your mouth,
Stuck in a pile of anxiety stretching miles and miles,
I feel the fear wash over me-
Doubt settling as stability flees,
Can't we all just forget about it?
I forgive you,
But you'll never forgive yourself,
And as much as I want to get over it,
You keep chomping at the bit.

Swallow, spit,
Rinse, repeat,
That's how I handle unnecessary feelings,
It doesn't always work as it should,
I feel like a fool attached to these strings,
Steel wire that weaves flesh to bend and stretch without resistance.

The birds quit chirping,
They fall to the ground, and wither the flowers around them,
Fill the air with the rot of their corpse,
And with beady eyes stare at me through the window,
Choking me as I gorge on myself,
Deconstructing my worth, existence,
Invisible, that's the goal,
Whimpering quietly and fading,
Why should I exist,
If I can take the easy way out?

Knock, Knock, Knock,
It’s an anxious, hurried rhythm,
Searching for attention,
The Next Door Ghoul
Wails loudly through the crack under the door.

Annoyed, the neighbour shuns them,
Sliding dark blinds to the sight of it.
Pressed against the frosty glass,
It leaves ****** fingerprints,
And gradually, the cries grow unhappier.

“LOok for me! I want you to see-”
Indignantly, the ghoul pounds a crack into the window.
A windy night, nature howls alongside the grotesque body as it crawls inside.
With shaky feet it finds the target, shivering inside their closet,
“Don’t be scared”
Can’t ignore- it drags them out anyways.

A crackling of bones,
The ghoul bends down,
Revealing a rotting face-
The corpse living underneath this house.
“Did you forget? I used to live here too.”
And the memories flood back,
Unwillingly, a few hateful tears slip from their eyes.
“Life is better without you, I never wanted to remember.”

And suddenly the face of misery splits---
Maggots wiggle from blank sockets,
Dripping, ravenous onto skin,
And underneath their tiny teeth,
The body begins to disappear.
Choice is meaningless,
This taint penetrates the soul.

With light feminine grace,
she exists to rot this space,
spreading her filthy seed about,
from which these terrible goblins sprout.

I think too much.
Brain, a restless jumping bean.
Quiet down,
I need to breathe.

This wretched game,
What foul company!
In the twists and turns of the Manor,
Clues wholly undecoded,
But the hunters' gave us all quite a fright!
Towering two stories tall,
These inhuman eyes penetrating the soul,
Flowering red,
Heartbeasts drumming,
To our tune of imminent doom.

The monsterous bird caws,
Candles flicker ominously,
From the bleak hallways,
A golden nightmare peeks.
Beneath the smiling moon,
Wine-dipped fog hovers,
And dashing butterflies play.
A tipsy sun lays beside a dreamy witch,
The radiance so blinding it sinks the sirens back to their depths,
Within the manor's garden pond,
Surrounded by fairy flowers.

Within the study,
Our stolen memories lay,
Is it all a delusion?
But these visions,
The agony, the misery, crushing adrenaline...
These diaries, are they the truth?
Then why do I still feel so lost?

He won't speak to me now,
When I need him the most,
Orpheus, crow,
Agh! My head, again...
Will I find anything this time?

"I despise you."
Quivering lips spit warm breath into my ear,
As sweet as were his words spiteful.
A crooked feeling splits into a grin,
Savoring his unbearable gaze.
"You never mean what you say,"
Dismissive,
I'll decide who bends and breaks.
Bloodlust ignites the tension,
Pushing me to the wall.
"I love you."
His fingers sunken through my brain,
Heart imploding despite his lie.
Flickering vision records his contorted face,
God, did he finally smile?

I flow along the line of dirt beneath the grass,
Fading into wood and land as quickly as I come.
The dewy night is pitch black,
Void of even the moonlight,
The moist wind brings a cool blush to my face as the kisses of rain sweeps by,
Tears blending with the sweetness of craving Mother Earth delivers to my eyes.
I am in bliss,
An untouchable state of melancholy,
Whistling a nightingale tune to the shriveled bleeding hearts...
Returning every joy their lovely blooms brought to my side.

I seem to like tormenting myself,
Documenting all this.

Everytime, the tears get easier to bite back.
So, should I be glad for that?

I hate feeling unsafe,
Especially in my own house.
I finally snapped, screamed,
And said everything I wanted to (mostly).
And now he's come apologizing.
It doesn't feel that genuine,
But what else can I do but bend,
Besides telling him I won't allow him to touch me ever again?

Still gnawing my teeth,
Grinding unabashed desire into powder,
A slim white snake feeding thick into my bloodstream,
A thirsty frenzy, ***** craze,
I screech and launch myself into your arms,
Hovering just at the edge of control,
Sinking in, thin silky flesh,
Do I let myself taste your delicacy?
If I bite now,
I won't wake up until I've drained you of your mind,
Leaving a husky corpse that can only become mine.
I can't fathom your intentions,
Why you never stop me,
Even as you shrivel and die beneath me,
Watching the baying light blur to darkness.
Your last breath has been your most beautiful,
Delicate and untouchable,
Something for only my ears.
I remind myself not to regret,
Even if I can only hear that but once -
Isn't that what makes it special?
It's only in the graying sunset,
I realize what I really wanted from you-
Is that why you didn't push me away?

Again, again, again.
Closely following the fine line
Between dreary darkness and sandy beaches,
But at the end of the shore
The forest will continue to stretch,
We're not out of the woods just yet.

Gloom shrouds the sky-
Faint sunlight tracing the casket in the clouds,
The sharp winds of age swallows up the offered youthful pup,
And spits back out mutilated, wrinkled flesh, a pile, a worm,,
Nothing that one would ever yearn to see,
Nor what was expected,
It sure is horrific.

Hollowed roots can't squeeze enough water from the branches,
For as much as they drip,
Every drop becomes poisonous seeds,
As it puddles haphazardly atop the woodland floor.

Inanimate, emotionless?
The heart of a doll.
**** to live long
If it weren't for eternity.

Creak of the door,
Wind blows me away,
Gently brushing the hair out of my face.
A drawn sky meets my gaze,
And the cool night welcomes my voice,
Muffled and muted,
Visualized in this therapeutic painting.

A strange and unfamiliar street,
I feel the peace at first sight.
Blowing gently aside the tall tree leaves,
The willow weeps in the wind.
The sky is still,
Dark blue and Grey,
The torrent, celestial clouds,
Stretching gloriously over the gloom.

Lightening, thunder,
And a neat, fresh scent.
It's coming down heavy,
Raining cats and dogs into the bleak night.
A sheet of refreshing transparence,,
Flooding the streets and soaking me through to the bone.
As cold as it as,
I feel only warmth, satisfied and comfy.
It won't last for long,
Cherish these storms-
This moisture is far better than burning summer days.
Hiding just below my porch,
The wind freezing me to the steps,
Watching the plants and flowers drown,
I look down in pity,
Lonesome sigh,
But that season's gone regardless.
Wading through the sidewalk streams,
Lifting pant legs just above the deep,
I stride back to dryer land.

Inside, the downpour still hums its lullaby,
Wrapped in puffy blankets,
I hazily fall into sleep,
Accompanied by lovely blessings and feelings of safety.
The storm will wash away these impurities,
Sweet, sweet dreams,
On such a night,
Your fears and demons won't consume you.

Abrupt silence,
Smiles and thoughts begin to sway,
As Inspiration floats leisurely by,
Just a breath out of reach,
Yet nothing can force it back into my fingers.

Suddenly, I know I've nothing more to say,
Despite the infinite words of shame,
Imploding within my galaxy of thoughts.

Peace brings stars and planets to collapse,
Replaced by demons breeding fantasy,

Great Falsehoods I believe,
Pouring out the end of my pen,
And waiting to do it all over again.

Someone asked me what keeps me alive -
I answered,
"Only the moon",
Bathing on it's watery light,
I expire without fear,
Reviving in the midst of day to a cacophony of terror.

In every nook and cranny I peered,
The bright red roots that tinged my eyes,
Coughed and shuddered from the dust-
Furious with empty treasures and meaningless finds,
The day shook with roars of wrath,
Until the moonlight finally shined.
At once, the blood underneath my eyelids coagulated into tears.

The switch to my mind is always on,
Populated by billowing pink clouds,
I poke and pop the shimmering balloons,
Watching the withered flakes float away.

Even in the dark,
These despicable rainbows are visible!
Like bits of glass,
Stuck deep in my flesh.

For every ****** shard removed,
Ten more regrow,
Reflecting beneath paper thin skin.
On its surface,
My blatant intentions carve themselves;
At least, if my hands tremble,
Can't the rest of me find a way to hide?

What a beautiful man,
What a pretty woman.
Their peace is uninterrupted.
Trifling distractions,
So temporary and insignificant,
Nothing changes to them.
But it's everything to me.

Why do I keep wasting my time?
There shouldn't be anything on my mind.
But I still foolishly wonder,
If it wasn't this way,
Would you think of me ever?

You make it so easy for me,
To keep falling deep.
Everything you do,
Is painfully professional.
Somehow,
Doing nothing,
Is just as poisonous to me.

Sleeplessly tired,
Alert as the moths rushing to death in the chandelier lights,
The cacophony on my wall subsides as the papers fall,
Ink staining my fingers and smeared across my face,
Arrogant character, embedded in my eyes.

I breathe the stale summertime air,
Feeling the heat erode my bones.
The night is wasting, slowly,
I tend to my duties halfheartedly.

Entirely calm,
My life feels so disorganised.
Centering purpose around others-
I come back to find a corpse-shell of myself.
What have I been doing?
Where has my mind run off to?
(And was it ever there in the first place?)

Sinking further into the greenery,
I tangle my legs with the sheets.
Lost in fruitless night-dreams,
Chest aching, hollowly,
This room is my cage.
Yet escape only elevates the danger,
Sit quietly and wait,
Pointlessly looking forward to better days.

Time to cry myself to sleep,
All this wailing in my head,
Suddenly I wish I was dead-
God I can barely breath,
I'm choking.

This burden too much to bear,
I'm comforting myself in desperation.
Bite down ******* trembling lips,
Swallow back the grief and sick,
But still a few indignites slip through closed eyes.

How I wish that you were here,
I am detached until it's asked,
Are those swirling eyes of mine an indicator of emotion?
Deny it no matter how it looks,
And run away,
No one shall share my woes if they know my face.

What a weird sort of ticklish feeling.
I'm buzzing and burning,
Hearing music that doesn't seem to be playing.
The darkness is thick,
There's an almost palpable calm,
Stretching from door to door.
I'm the only restless being,
Unable to sleep,
Unable to breathe,
Unable to extricate myself from misery.

I'm longing,
And resisting,
Wishing maybe I could just disappear,
Or at least that these ruined feelings,
Could be bottled and discarded without fear.

I'm so stuck,
Unbelievably,
On such strange things,
On meaningless thoughts.
On people out of my reach,
And those I'd rather never be able to meet.

I didn't want to lose it to him,
Or anyone, ever, nor again.
It's unexpected,
How fast devious joy found me,
Thought I was hidden so far away.
Naively, I indulged too much, too fast,
Not following the designated path,
I've found the forbidden area,
Poisoned by the foul, hideous, miasma.

Have you found such a person?
One who loves you unconditionally.
All I hope is you'll overlook my defects,
Staying by my side for eternity.
Whether I'm housed in flesh or wispy spirit,
Will you acknowledge me?
Don't brush over my presence,
Take my hand and talk endlessly.
Even if I never open my mouth,
This smooth voice is all the comfort I need.

Despite how I may appear,
And regardless of who you see,
Can you still lend me your love and devotion?
You'll follow me...
Even if I'm unworthy...
And for long as it's meant to,
My heart will beat.
Do you want a room inside?
You can't rent, only buy-
The price is an unbreakable promise...
Stay with me.

I met another person today,
Her eyes were the same as mine.
She smelled of ***** and powdered snow.
She stumbled her way into my arms,
And ate away at my soul.
I bit and tore at her skin,
But she just wouldn't let me go.

You're a leech,
You're replusive.
Don't latch onto my family.
Find someone else to ruin,
But stay the hell away from me,

I'm scared, I'm afraid,
She looked me dead in the eyes,
Whispered in my ear,
That he was going to die.

Don't talk nonsense, shut your mouth,
You don't know what you're talking about.
He's a drunk, he's an addict,
Don't you hate him?
What's the matter?

You're a leech,
You're replusive,
Don't latch onto my family.
Why are you ruining yourself?
You're heading straight for a dead end.

Get away, get away,
I don't want to see you today.
I won't exchange my life for yours.
I'm fine without you,
I don't care anymore.

She's eaten through to my bare bones,
Licked them clean, and threw them to the floor.
The barren earth swallows them whole,
As dead an end as one could reach.
So replusive, such a leech.
Aren't you just the same as me?

Blurry in the mirror,
I reflect,
Poorly.
Swollen under-eyes,
Reddened skin,
A damp depression hanging about my hair.

Frozen face with eyes like running faucets-
I'm the living dead,
I'm stuck in one function.
With shaky legs,
Barely peering through eyes,
Crawling through the entrance to my room.

The floor accepts these desperate bows,
But nothing accepts my prayers-
Wishing for what exactly?
For us both to be happy,
When he is,
So should I be,
But in this manner,
I feel I've chased him away.

Sorry,
Have I ruined your last year?
Was it flooded with gloom instead of cheer?
Almost everything I love,
It gets destroyed like so-
I think, maybe I'm destined to be alone.