i just wanted you to hold me
and when you did,
i felt whole.
My feelings grew,
i grew obsessed.
You were my anchor,
i felt stable with you near.

Tomorrow, that's the day
I drive down
and finally
we can be close.
We can touch;
we can talk;
we can be comfortable in the gaps in between.

You are part of my life, to the point where
I find it hard to remember you
not being there.
Met when i was six, you were seven
(but only a few months older!!!)
been close ever since then
But, oh, my darling,
what if we were closer?

I want you to hold me
you make me feel whole again.
I want to make you feel
less
alone
again.
You make me believe in marriage,
and children,
and living past eighteen.
When i'm at my worst
you're my voice of reason,
saved my life at least once.
And i want to save yours.

do you need saving, my love?
Do you?
sorry,
i'm not used to this.
and neither are you,
somehow makes this
all
the
sweeter.

depends on the definition of the individual.
The truth to me is
you,
your core essence,
what makes you
you?

i had a dream
i was
eternal
i was
unforgiving
i was
bad.
but i was
dying?
and they were
sad?
i don't get it.
maybe you can?

it's been a while since i wrote a poem.
perhaps i forgot
perhaps i got distracted
perhaps, just maybe, it got too much
I'm not used to having
a healthy coping mechanism.

i like the rain.
i like the sound,
the soft pitter patter;
the rumbling clouds.
The way it distracts from an arguing friend,
the drops on my forehead to cool my anger.
I like the rain.
the cool, clear air that descends upon the now-tranquil environment,
and the green it brings to the fields around me.
i like the rain.
It washes everything clean,
cleansed by nature's shower.
I like how it gives me peace
when there is non around me.

do you ever wonder
what it would be like
to
soar amongst the birds in the endless blue?
i do.

i never did apologise for not having the chance the chance to saying goodbye to grandma.
sorry.
i never did apologise for never returning that pencil that i 'borrowed' from the teacher.
sorry.
i never did apologise for being a terrible friend.
sorry.
i never did apologise for being the reason you're trapped in a failing marriage.
sorry.
i never did apologise for being born and ruining your plans.
sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm so, so sorry.
i am more sorry each day.
sorry for wasting your time.

sorry.

i want you
to
break me
with your words
with your tongue
i want you to give me all of your pain;
share it with an old, broken soul.

'want' is such a shallow word
rings of childishness and greed.

i need you to **** me
slowly, gently
let them know
it's you, as i plead
look at me here, sobbing
i need you
to give me
relief.