They say that age is just a number
And although mine is rather high
If I had a chance to pick another
I think I'd stick with mine

It took me years to get here
Through all the ups and downs, the aches and pains
One thing that has been made clear
I wouldn't change a single thing

Because with age comes the wisdom
To learn from our mistakes
And believe me I've made plenty
Of mistakes along the way

Although I've made some winning
Decisions to back them up
I'd have to say this life and age
Is one I truly love

So if I had the chance
To do it all again
I believe I'd take the stance
Of No Way, No How, No When

For when it comes to life
The good far out weighs the bad
So I think that I'll just stick with
The one and age that I now have

I saw my first killing
At the tinder age of thirteen
Two men fell outta the towns saloon
And commenced to fighting in the street

It was at that very moment
My Momma she grabbed me
But Momma couldn't keep me from seeing
What it is I seen

It broke my heart when Momma
Stood on that dusty street and cried
But I still went about my business
When she covered up her eyes

I grabbed the dead mans gun
That's when I told my lie
I told my Momma that I'd be home
Later on that night

But my Momma she never saw
Her young boys face again
'Cept on the wanted posters
Nailed up by many a lawman

Many a lawman lately
That's gunning for my hide
'N' to think it all got started
When the first owner of this here gun of mine died

My killing spree started in Colorado
Then went south for a spell
Every town that I rode up on
Became a living hell

A living hell that no one ever
Had the nerve to give me back
I almost feel sorry for the men
Who ever dared to cross my path

No matter how far or fast I ran
Death was always close behind
In his right hand he holds a flaming sword
On the handle engraved the name is mine

The name is mine
And he knows it well
Deaths one desire
Is my soul in hell

I was twenty one years of age
When a coward shot me in the back
Shot me in the back
Cause it was courage that he lacked

The courage that he lacked
Stopped my deadly run
As fast as it all got started
The day I pick up that dead mans gun

i am the architect
of the thoughts within my head
building what i think
out of selfish need

dizzy are the heights
crooked the plum line
the plans that i have laid
mistakes that have been made

i have built it up
more centered on self than not
just to tear it down
times too numerous to count

a foundation built on sand
the random thoughts of man
finding the seams are cracked
in the strength i thought i had

for i am the architect
of all i've done and said
taking to the brink
all i've built out of selfish need

when will i ever learn...
i'm thinking never if even ever
the cause and effect of the hurt
with my actions all that happened

when will i ever see...
the air i breath is not all about me
when all of my thoughts and deeds
bring focus to the changes i need

when will this i confess...
that out of this i made a mess
from what i had to what is left
all the way to what i should have kept

Born to us a child
A world that's lost it's way
All in God's plan brought about
Taking this worlds place

Growing up a man
For such a time as this
All along playing his life song
To the tune of righteousness

As through the day he'd make his way
Showing mercy to the lost
What he had to say and to display
Was straight from the Fathers love

Faithful to the call
Taking on the dirt of sin
Knowing it would take the cross
To reconcile the heart of man

Rising the third day
The day death lost its sting
God and man brought back again
To the place of harmony

When born to us a child
A world that's lost its way
All in Gods plan brought about
Taking this worlds place

My family planed an intervention
On mine and their behalf
They see what I am doing and the trouble that's brewing
With the problem that I have

Seems no matter where it is I go
The gym, the bank, the grocery store
I look for opportunities
To make some sort of joke

And it kind of makes them nervous
When they hang around with me
As they see my mind a-itching and my eyes begin a-twitching
Looking for someone to listen as I begin to speak

They take me by the hand, with the nodding of their heads
In a frantic back and forth motion
Saying now's not the time to be the funny guy
Apparently my family is all knowing

But I really can not help myself
With my long list of funny sayings
Still I will bite my tongue till another chance comes along
To say something hilariously amazing

Of course I sometimes realize
What I find funny in my noggin
Once it hits the air is like barbed wire underwear
And deserves a good old fashion flogging

That's why I'm now sitting in this room
With the intervention on my behalf
As they explain what I am doing and the trouble it's brewing
This little problem that I  have...

In the middle of the night
With sleep still in my eyes
I stepped into my kitchen
And received quite a surprise

As I reached out my hand
And flicked the light on
There were balloons, confetti, party hats
With a banner that read -WELCOME HOME-

I'd caught thousands of roaches
In the middle of song
They all turned and looked at me strange
As if I'd done something wrong

I heard a scream from the crowd
A foreign language to me
The next thing I know
I'm knocked down to my knees

As I'm being dragged
Across the linoleum floor
I see a little red button
That opens up a trap door

I started getting real nervous
The deeper we went
If I was a cat with nine lives
I think eight I just spent

They took me before the king
King Ralph Roach was his name
I only knew that
Cause that's what his name tag displayed

I was assigned a public defender
But that did me no good
He spoke Roach, I spoke Human
Each other we never quite understood

"GUILTY!"  Came the verdict
I hollered what was my crime!
"Interrupting a roach in the middle of having a good time"
Came the judges reply

Squishing to be my death
The day after tomorrows last night
I said that doesn't make any sense?!
Hey, we're roaches....we're not known for our timely insight

So here I sit in my cell
Wishing I could take it all back
If I had just not gotten up
For that late midnight snack

Wait....is that a tap, tap, tap
(You didn't think this was the end did you?)
As my hours getting late
A roach we'll call Chester
For anonymity sake

Told me to stop all that blubbering
I've come to break you out of here
I stood and we hugged
Which would be strange if it wasn't so weird

We slipped past room after room
With all kinds of parties inside
One thing you can say about roaches
They know how to have a good time

When we reached the surface
All I saw was blessed heavenly light
I went straight in and packed my bags
And gave the house to my Ex-Wife
(Okay, now it's the end!)

I see you out there walking
And talking to yourself
What do you do and who do you talk to
When there's clearly no one around

Do you have a load of friends
Imaginary along the way for company sake
To keep the conversation flowing
Something crazy you'd like to say

In the dead of winter
Wearing shoes with no socks
In the coldest of weather
Like that Talking Heads song

I even see you on the corner
In your pacing back and forth
Giving someone a piece of what you have left
For all that you are worth

I sit in my car and contemplate
Where you and I, we both are at
I can count true friends on my one hand
As you count the many inside your head

And who is the happiest of the two
Me or you with the stress of life
If you stop to think about
Who is really out of their mind...

Have I ever told you anything about my ordinary life
My ordinary kids or my ordinary wife
I go to bed at a decent time every night
So I can get up every morning at the crack of daylight

Where it is I head off to my ordinary job
In my ordinary town with a wink and a nod
I kiss my wife goodbye and say I'll see you real soon
Like I do every day at a quarter past noon

Where she whips up grilled cheese
With tomato soup on the side
But on Fridays I splurge
With tuna on rye

Did you hear what I have?
Tuna on Rye?!
Who was it that said...
I'm an ordinary guy