Words of negativity are scraping and clawing against the inside of my skull.
Hoping to leap off my pessimistic tongue and plant seeds of sadness in the minds of others.

But I hold my tongue.
Like I hold onto hope.
Because I know it’s still there.
I just have to repress the haunting thoughts.

My brain is the strongest muscle in my body,
only because it works so hard to repress my tongue.
My heart is in the right place,
but my fists are always balled.

But I hold my punches.
Like I hold onto smiles.
Because I know that people care.
I just have to repress my anger.

Rage and depression go hand in hand.
But i’m fine with that because they help me write.

You reap what you sow into your bloodstained velvet robes,
and you don’t have power just because a crown of thorns sits on your tortured and beaten mind,
You have power because you need control.
You have power because you make me weak.
But one day i’ll strip you of your robes.
I’ll rid you of of your crown.
I’ll stand up to you.
And I won’t be afraid.


I won’t be afraid.

I caved in the drywall because you let me cave in.
And ****** knuckles seem painless when all I can see is red.
I wrote you songs so you would know how I feel.
I think I'm just afraid.
I know I'm just afraid.

don’t you understand that this is bigger than you see.
Now that I know, I’m just as bad as you.
This isn’t about anger or fear of being a snitch.
This is about saving a life and helping a friend out of hell.
You’re clouded by the weightlessness that the world puts on the topic,
but depression is a disease that’s looked over often.
So please stop talking about you getting in trouble.
there are much worse consequences down the path you want to follow.

I'm loosing sleep to runways, and following signs, as my head is split open by bright florescent lights,
and these long linear hallways filled with leather on chairs provide shelter to all of the wolves in suits and ties.

I try to call you but nothing is there
I try to call you because I'm getting scared.

My hands start to shake and strangers start to pass but I act like I'm fine just to make it home,
my feet become more heavy and your texts become shorter while I wait to fly home to feel just as alone.

Airports are lonely, but it's better than home.