I like to pretend I no longer have a heart but sometimes I pull it out of the bottom drawer and speak to it just so it knows that I know its still there and apologize for all I have poured over it to bury its existence and all the times I gave it to the undeserving I make promises that it will be freed again someday then safely tuck it away and sneak back out of her house.
The difference between your failed relationships and mine Is that I am willing to admit the fault being my own instead of blaming the opposite gender in its entirety.
Everyone wants to emulate their lives like on television fighting flaws and protagonists so we create them as if our individual life has meaning in some sort of grandeur fashion more than the next doing the same making their mark on the world hoping it sparks a crater the size of neuclear proportions yet here I am facing my own demons without the greed of attention and getting the same incomplete result if not less must be all the selfishness
I cant say its been awhile since Ive BEEN this drunk. but I can say its been awhile since Ive FELT this drunk as I hold one hand over one eye and type with the other two
With no hope for tomorrow I drowned all my sorrows seeking salvation at the bottom of bottles I chose shady ladies to protect myself from any love that I possibly felt surrounded myself with who I thought were friends until I only had empty arms to extend I chose self destruction to corner my hate which only obstructed my will to create
I'm no longer lost I may still be searching but letting go of all my wrongs that I've been holding to for far too long
Some people learn to give up yet survive for years and years their suicide is slow their certain death hidden behind a smile a laugh a word of encouragement as others **** away the life they willingly give as if they hold some majestic secret that everyone already knows. Their acceptance a prolonged curse yet immediate blessing.
I am picking up the pieces of my hazy yesterdays before my timeline ceases with all I've broke along the way Although I am a wreck I know I tried my best I laid the path in which I step with stone my words are etched Can you say the same? Can you make such claim? I stand by my decisions made and I have no regrets.
I'm a bi-product of an environment that buys products till the resource is spent to eat drink and breathe paper not vapor not liquid not Earth not life not Nature To chase ghosts and heed to celebrities Who give toast to excessive degeneracy To change tides for the evils that be and hang sides under veils of equality Traverse a wasteland of senseless information Inert hands given helpless stipulations A negligent stare over the horizon that isnt burning to our backs
Perhaps I went too far I have no excuse nor any regret for it led me to the truth If I never took that step that went beyond the line I would still be left with all the empty minds.
Exactly what just happened? I must have missed the memo did we begin advertising for wanna-be Longfellows? I came here for inspiration so many years before now I feel such trepidation towards hash tags and underscores
I guess in the end, we all attend to selling out as ******. At least I paid my money. . where is the online store?
I knew I was far from perfect as were you to everyone else when it came to US I can not say you were the girl of my dreams it would be an injustice to you considering you surpassed what I could imagine, but I suppose despite what we consider perfection whatever our conception of it might be remains to be imaginary
I think that maybe it may be just me maybe Im the one who fails to see maybe it is me who is blaming all the others afraid to be just another prone to the tragedy Running forward blindly worried that maybe he may be the only and chooses to be lonely
My shell is peeling making me feel exposed naked all because I am opening like a rose but afraid its petals will fall too soon to the harsh conditions of this world With icy apathy neurotic neglect and scorching storm crashing against the rock hard surface of my own creation cracking yet unwavering far longer than it should have but with it evolution ready to share part of me with the world like a dead dandelion scattering its seeds with the wind
I know my heart is good even if my mind is twisted Which is why I've stood in this awkward position I feel like the moon in the daytime sky a sight to question why it belongs to the night
I only envision you in my mind because I cant see you with my eyes I'm only with you in my dreams because its not a reality I only hold you in my heart for our reach is just too far apart Maybe I should let it go these memories become my throes
Yet still they seem to make me whole. just as they did so long ago
I fell for you but fell too long you let me hit bottom now the feeling is gone Once I believed its was an endless pit rather suffer impact than more of your ****
Twice as bright half as long great for those who don't belong. Who would want to on this stage? Plagiarized and overplayed Overwelcoming its stay Upon this obvious fixed game.
Flooded entombed perhaps even doomed this place no longer holds the magic which I once consumed drowning in simplicity an undertow of redundancy Where do I go when its no longer home to me? How much must one pay to keep the vultures away?
This disconnected census is masterfully oblivious there is no comfort in listlessness while drowning in indifference Chemically imbalanced any chance at repentance in any single instance is subtly dismissed as I crush my heart inside my fist while feigning interest.
I said I'd go through hell for you And that's just where I went to return and find you gone After my sentence was spent Who was right? Who was wrong? I guess I'll never know As I carry with me That journey down below.
The words escape me I can't describe What feelings left? Which still subside? The love I used to write about Fell silent after years of doubt. My mind has finally won the war Against what my heart has fought for. I'm moving on, in hopes to find One more deserving of my time
Death stands on my doorstep but hes afraid to knock He sees just what I have endured as I contest his spot I test his spine, as he has mine time and time again he knows I do not wait in line because hes become my friend I have kept his company which he did not expect seems as if my disrespect has gained respect of him I've learned his secret long ago and threw it to the wind the good die young the bad die old indifference to sin.
I know it was silly of me to actually let you lead me to believe I deserved a girl like you you overestimated me I led you to think I could handle your wiles That I accepted them floating through life with a smirk and I did for awhile learning to play the **** I just thought I met another feral animal My only problem is you kept coming back you kept coming back coming back back. . . back. Why? Or leave for that matter? Did I not bite your neck hard enough, was my pebble too coarse? Were my colors too dull? Did my stance lack aggression? I gave you every chance in the world to run free into the wilderness the Arctic but you always went back to your Zoo didnt you? Why? You know why I love you? The honest truth. . . your beauty is for another ******* poem it was because you were the only with the intelligence to know not to come back but you always did. Even when it wasnt how I wished it to be I always knew you would come back and I guess this is supposed to tie into penguins and wolves or some ****.
Doesn't matter what side of the wing you are on if the bird is sick, you all hit the ground together. You are the mites, biting away at its already ruffled feathers. or the fleas feasting on its anemic flesh and its invisible cage is just big enough for you to make a choice.