Anyone who still uses the word Alas tries too hard.

I think it was the Greeks
who believed man and woman
were once one being
so the gods split them
fearing our power,
to forever seek our other half.


its a beautiful notion.

Inside a society
thats growing more resentful
they would rather see you fail
instead of be successful
my purpose starts to dwindle
chasing unrealistic goals
any warmth that still remains
is stolen by the cold
maybe I'm just tired,
perhaps I got old
all my passions have expired
under moss and mold.
The fabric is unraveling
fraying at the hem
This war I fight is maddening
to not be just like them

The tears you created
     will be given back
             some day. . .

I stood with open arms
for far too long.
Through every slap in the face
and low blow
cheap shots
from those who oppose
crooked stares
sarcastic tones
but its time I protect my groin
and change my stance
there will be no other
kick in the pants

Killing Time
while time kills me
the flesh
the powder
the smoke
the drink

Killing time
my time is free
devoid of life
in which I seek

Throw your children to the fire again
and leave them to burn for all of your sins
Tangled in this wicked web we spin
with wars waged against ourselves that we cant win

Are we too numb to succumb to these feelings anymore?
Are we so apathetic that we forget whats in store?
Hoping, pleading
now in retrospect
Broken, bleeding
from all the neglect

Why should I stand with my heart in my hands,
just to see it get ripped from my grip once again?

And over again

Is this something we can not evade,
standing here upon our last legs?
Taught from the cradle to the grave
that this is the way we should be

The way we should be

Are we so bartered, brokered, bought and sold as if were ******?
Selling ourselves bit by bit, piece by piece to the core
Hoping, pleading
now in retrospect
Broken, bleeding
from all the neglect

Why should I stand with my heart in my hands,
just to see it get ripped from my grip once again?

And over again.

Is this something we can not evade?
Standing here upon our last legs
Taught from the cradle to the grave
that this is the way we should be

The way we should be


This one is the first single from my bands upcoming Hard Rock album, you can check it out at the link below if you'd like. Our name is Negative Feedback

**http://www.reverbnation.com/negfed

Back cracks from the weight of the world
Hide in your cell for fear of the light
Donning shackles you could remove any time
Nurturing the same demons you fight
but its what you know so you wont break the binds
Love letters are still left unfurled
Train of thought caught on a one way track
A collision course without any remorse
Speed gaining fast
Even though you know theres still turning back
Going nowhere although you've already been there
surveying war torn scenery with a blank empty stare

I make gremlin noises
  Whenever I slam too much whiskey.

My heart is but a cavern
vast and dark
cold and haunted
Occupied by unknown
demons and monsters
and knowing
what may reside inside
that pitch black
you still lit your way
and journeyed inside
regardless
Your light scared away
those lurking
and you carved your name
into its stone walls
but then you left
the shadows engulfed
it once more
and the miscreations returned
I sit here alone
running my fingers
across the letters you left
I can feel them
but I can not see them
I know this cave is no place to dwell
or to sit and rot
but I wait here and hope
some day you will return
and rescue me from this blindness

Let it lie
bleed and die
If you don't care
Why should I?
I will not mourn
I will not cry
Your scorn knows not my sacrifice.

Let us leave
the decaying cities of our forefathers.
Let us take our last steps upon their blood stained streets
and their disease ridden erections.
Let us return to the sunlight of the meadows
free from the shadows of the skyscrapers.
Let us choke down our last fill of chemically tainted drink.
Let us swallow their last mutated nourishment
Let us unclasp our hands from prayer
to the false gods
calling true spirituality fallacy
In a land where all are strangers
let us look into our neighbors eyes again.
Let us become masters of craft
and not jack of all trades
Let us find true happiness
and not substitute it with ignorant bliss
Let us pump blood back into
vacant, desolate hearts.

Let us destroy the voids within our souls
before it swallows humanity whole

I stared my demons in the face
they no longer give me chase
despite what they have in store
they just don't scare me anymore

Must I burn with indecision
standing within the derision
waiting for the point of no return

I will never learn to listen
to those who don't have the wisdom
to address their own fears and concerns.

It is becoming
So hard to be that monster
That people admire
Like watching a Trainwreck
Which gives the simple
Something to talk about
And getting older
Makes it more difficult
By the day
I have rendered myself so frail
Fighting a young man's war
Without the concern
Of becoming the old man
Who calls the shots
I fill with worry
That when that beast dies
Because I can no longer maintain him
No one will love
who I actually am
As I wonder
If anyone
Actually ever knew

I learned more
facing my doubts
than I ever did
clinging to faith
The edge is hard to define
until it is gone over
I never knew how far I could go
until I went too far
I never knew how much I could stand
until I withstood too much
I wont know how much I can love
until my love is enough
because some limits
are meant to be pushed
and some boundaries
are meant to be broken

Ive heard it said a thousand times
Out of sight, out of mind
All too often I come to find
That in my heart it still subsides
I guess it don't apply to mine
Heavens know how hard Ive tried
a way to hide it deep inside
Though cast aside from prying eyes
I can not bury, no demise
Some things cant be undermined

For **** sake
please refrain
from using the term
"bae"

Some feelings fade
but mine sit in the grave
talking to a tombstone
wishing they could be saved

These memories
are but little lingerings
as brief
as the warm breath
felt from a whisper into the ear
like a burnt tongue
or a splintered fingertip
whos pain is only recognized
with even the slightest of touch.

I have no pack
I have no mate
these howls I make
for my own sake

I do not hunt
I do not prowl
that which I want
lost in tomorrow

This wilderness
I roam alone
nothing to miss
nowhere is home

Most do not live long enough
to see their work pay off
There is too much contradiction
from the swine at the trough.

Most do not long enough
to see their craft evolve
they wait until we're dead and gone
to interpret the song.

In her eyes
I once seen
everything
I'll never be

I thought I could erase you
a point of no return
yet every time I've chased you
in my heart and mind it burns.

I wasn't what you wanted
confused to want was I
once the truth was confronted
I knew the end was nigh

I want to forget you
I do not want you back
but yet I don't regret you
you were always what I lacked

Where one cycle ends
there is birth of new beginnings
Sometimes you gain more losing
than you ever could at winning
The outlook is your choosing
learning is a gain
and if you keep reliving
it will remain the same.

I'm laying down my losing hand
I've held the cards way too long
I bet too much
on a long-shot
pockets in my heart empty
staring at the mismatched colors
and numbers
trying to make a pair
I could rarely keep
the queen of hearts stare
being just a jack of all trades
and going nowhere
I'm laying down my losing hand
and just may never play again.

Removing loves veil
  allowed me to see
your true colors

I was lucky
to have that once in a lifetime
feeling. .
that most probably never get the chance to
that feeling where time stops
and immortality arises
where nothing mattered but now
I just wasnt lucky enough
to keep it.

Have your fun
do your worst
I still run
despite the hurt

Cant adhere
pick the prongs
shear the gear
thats strung along

Beyond mentioned
misconceptions
fuel which I have ran upon
helps me to keep going strong

All of this duality
has me tearing at the seams
exactly who am I to be
a literary casualty
or just another nobody?

I know I have a high tolerance
for pain
but I never really thought
I enjoyed it
Yet maybe that is why
I get higher than most
just so my fall
from their graces
will hurt that much more.

Maybe you were just
a pretty, pretty pistol
that caught my eye
and wanted to put in my mouth

Maybe I thought you were
a good way to die
Maybe I only loved you
because of the misery you caused
and maybe
I don't want that misery anymore

So let the barrel
burn my tongue of your taste
and the bullet
erase your thoughts from my brains
and if there was anything
you ever truly wanted of me

Maybe you can scrape what is left
from the walls

It seems the stars are melting
from the twinkle in your eye
souls with empty homes
sea shells on the shore
the poison well run dry
the bond that bore worn thin
petals torn from the stems
born within shared sins
which remain unspoken
ships sailed past horizons near
as the port disappears
reflecting in icy mirrors
that may finally be broken

Mike works at my liquor store down the street
I see him almost every day
in my stops on the way home from the shop
He has basically known me for most my life
back when I was buying sodas and candy
instead of cigarettes, and alcohol.
I can basically walk in and say "A fifth and a pack"
and he grabs my Crown Royal
and my Newports
I might as well just use "The Usual."
but he is always polite enough to ask
"What are we doing today Jeremy?"
knowing that I switch it up time to time
I've come to realize the routine
all too well
and just wish sodas and candy
still did it for me.

Just waiting
For us to leave this planet
And explore the universe
So we can **** that up too.

I no longer have a lick of trust
That could fix this disgust
I no longer have a dream to clutch
I just don't sleep enough
Saturated in the darkness
What was my light lost in the midst
Disconnect myself from everything
What I once felt not returning
Was it me who ruined myself,
Or was it someone else?
Staring at the walls inside of my bed
Calling for answers in my head
Loving the loveless
Pits my stomach again
Carelessly searching an end
These feelings
have been beaten from me
And there's no escape I see.

People try standing
Hard as a rock
But even stone
Can be eroded
With something
Soft as water
Over time

Why don't you tell me, what path we're on
We've been wandering so long
if its going nowhere
I've already been there

Its a place where no one cares

So I'm veering from this
steering towards the wilderness
I would rather take the risk
than go where nothing exists.

As I followed my heart
I left something behind
must find my way back to the start
In attempt to reclaim my mind
Upon this lonely road
I wasted so much time
believing what was told
following mislabeled signs

I thought that I was cold
that these emotions didn't show
I thought no one could get to me
so little did I know

I thought that I was heartless
until I was shown what that meant
now I cant disregard this
its existence is evident

If I knew
that was the last time
I would see you
I would have tried
to retain a clearer memory
but now
all I have
is a distorted image
like a misted mirror.

I almost said I'm sorry
I typed it out in text
but then I sat in worry
over what may come next

At the bottom of a bottle
wallowing in sorrow
I critiqued my writings
and said I'll send them tomorrow

It told you I still love you
and I'm haunted with regret
I have been so selfish
with all I wish I hadn't said

I awoke in the morning
with a clearer head
read it all again
and chose not to send

I deleted the message
I know it sounds absurd
but in that moment of weakness
I still meant every word.

I feel the monster clawing out of me
hes breaking free
from the cage that contained
every disturbing memory
I try to drown them
but they will not leave
and ignoring him
only makes it more angry
When the surface breaks
what will I be?
As my compassion
gets devoured by reality.

Check out my band! We are a Detroit Based Hard Rock act. Alot of my poetry usually winds up in this project.

http://www.youtube.com/ModernDayMonkeys

I took my life line
and tangled it up
into a knotted ball
spiked with shards
of broken reflections
of my past
and I swing it around
over my head
like a weapon
just trying to make a dent
or a mark
upon this thing we call life.

Are we so utterly destroyed?
Are we raised to be lowered
into depths
a man can not physically dig?
Why do we seek a hell
so obviously guised as heaven?
Are we beyond repair?
Can we never be fixed
to match the idea
of a standard model?
Would you want to?
Did these gears in the machine
ever have a chance
to pass inspection in the first place?
Was I doomed upon that assembly line?
Were we all?
Am I the reject
in the dollar bin
of a land
full of selfish
consuming
monsters
who have no teeth of their own
waiting for their masters to chew
and regurgitate back
into their joyous awaiting mouths?
Is the way I write this
too imperfect?
Does this gain me nothing
but a stroke of ego?
Should I expect to deserve more?
too little product?
a lackey robotic?
Not enough dollar signs
to place upon it?
Are these feelings, feelings anymore?
Or are they nothing
but programmed responses?
Am I alive
by falling from the branch
of a toxic Oak
only to pollinate
the oily soil?

Should I just
be a good slave
to the cult of "us"
and earn for myself
which no mortal
has right
putting a price tag on.
Can robots trust?

I may be mostly broken
but my spirit still remains
I just hope it is enough when
I try to break these chains.

Just remember,
  You're
the only one
    I
did that for.

I may never be successful
should I feel like I'm supposed to?
I don't share the same ambitions
as many others do
slaving through their days
in a monetary excuse
I would rather die broke and lonely
loving what I pursue
than surrounded by acquaintances
loving that which isn't you.

So, as some of you who have followed me for quite some time here may know. I have a book of poetry available for purchase. If any of you have enjoyed my poetry thus far. Maybe you might like the collection of my early works. So go check it out! You can find it on Amazon under the title Mind Afire by Jeremy Bean.

If any of you wish to go the route of contacting me personally, I will send you a signed copy for the same price. I know that isnt much, but I would rather deal with the interaction and transaction personally than have Amazon pocket all the money.

I also want to thank all of you who have read, followed, and liked what I do here. Hello Poetry is surely my favorite avenue of expression when it comes to poetry, and trust me. . I have tried many. I love the community, and hope to see you guys more in the future!

Thank you all!