These wounds are far from fresh
but still wont heal
Maybe If I didn't scratch or peel
away at what is buried underneath
your smell upon my skin
is lingering
The name I speak
that rots away my teeth
The face I see
that reflects everything
My Achilles heel, and Icarus wings
continuing to tumble underneath

Shes in my heart
in my mind
but not inside
my arms or eyes
this void can not be compromised
with nothing short of loves demise.

Aphrodite high and mighty
sitting on her throne
thinking that she holds the right
to any love I own

Everything that you invest
goes into vanity
unknowing that all beauty
is a fading commodity.

Flowers whither in my hands
time pulverized to grains of sand
I make walls fall within my presence
I'll stomp your faith with no repentance

I take love and make it sour
Create eons within an hour
Any taste
I will make ash
Paint your life white
and laugh unabashed

Im the warden
who made sin
as matters worsen
inch by inch
I will miscreate these stints
with my Midas touch of ****

Even the poorest man
can treat a woman like gold.

at first I didnt really like or buy into the trend of 10w poetry, but now I kinda like the constraints, it gives the words power when they are done right in my opinion. Considering I usually find it best to say as much as you can with little as possible.

It didnt take an angel
to subdue my inner demons.

I don't use punctuation,
I'll have you know
only in situations
I wish to change flow.

As long as its understood
I pay no mind
unless it does good
for whats in between the lines.

I don't care if its wrong,
or even if its right.
I just want not to conform
the way that I write.

Despite how forlorn
it is to your eyes.

I got it after he was gone
stringless and forgotten
I've picked at it for so long
writing songs of the downtrodden

Lord knows that he probably paid
a fraction of the price
not knowing history its played
without expert advice


My grandfathers guitar

its a National

it might need some work

its action is sub-par

blood stains and dirt

price is irrational

Id rather give my soul

theres no way in hell. . .

I would ever sell.


It is my only heirloom
found by accident
inside of a trashed room
given known Id relish it

Its still worth more than the sake
of what most think is right
and the tens of thousands it would take
is still not worth the price

My grandfathers guitar

its a National

it might need some work

its action is sub-par

blood stains and dirt

price is irrational

Id rather give my soul

theres no way in hell. . .

I would ever sell.

If the mind ceases to wander
if what is sane becomes obtained
or find what I am after
blow out my ******* brains

If I ever feel complete
or somehow feel content
if struggle becomes obsolete
leave my life force to be spent

If everything seems normal
and no awkward words are spoke
or this existence thought as formal
just slit my ******* throat

If I ever am fulfilled
or become satisfied
my resolve will be killed
and my drive will surely die

Some see gray hair
as a sign of dismay
a show of old age
or frailty
but as for me
its a badge to see
worn with pride
for all I survived
in the games we play
along the way.
I know more recently
than I did without these.
I no longer need
a rule-book to succeed .

I have played too long
   all
my
toys
    are
broken

May I never be content
May I never be complete
For when we stop evolving
We become obsolete

Just look what its done to me
Its something I failed to see
It happened so suddenly
and ended so tragically

Watch as your bridges burn
when will you ever learn?
Now that your bridge has burned
where are you going to turn?

Destroy and rebuild again
when will it ever end
I see the smoke up ahead
and I don't know who's my friend

I saw the space burn today
where we would have met half way
smoldering disarray
above where rough waters lay

You know that I would meet you half way
but now half way sits in decay

Of course there's other muses. .

You
    are
just
    my
favorite.

My
ideal
heaven
would be
every moment
spent with you.

I miss the days
when I was too young to realize
and my father was just old enough
to know. .
that **** eating grin
that boisterous personality
the twinkle in the eye
or the flirtatious gestures
he taught me so well
the youth that hadn't quite left
all those times
when I saw him,
in me. . .

The kind of life that thrives on lies,
is not the type worth sacrifice.
for too long I've compromised
believing the neglect sufficed
The facade I saw in you
was built by fabricated truths
contradicted by your actions
reducing my heart into fractions
hanging on to hollow words
that were better left unheard

I still dont know where it is
but it would welcome me
the streets and faces would be familiar
we would share stories of our exploits
where people would recognize my absence
and I would know I was missed
Were I was made to feel my presence
made things better for all
a place where I can cast light
instead of shadow.
Where judgement and ridicule
were lightened by virtues

I am still searching.

Such rare traits
are a blessing
from a non-responsive God.

When I wish I saw the future
I guess anyone would
but could you walk the same way
knowing that you should?
Leave me the mystery
and the uncertainty
it is the only thing
to remind me
that I am a human being

Set me up for failure please
Sell me into slavery
keep practicing apathy
as a cog inside of the machine

Bombard me with redundancy
imprint me with this disease
teach me only of dependency
keep your eyes fixed upon the screen

Leave your mind idling
stay blind to everything you see
be deaf to what you are hearing
life is made for forsaking

Influence my way of thinking
following robotic dreams
keep the lemming mentality
pray to non responsive deities

Do not dare to break the mold
stay calculative and cold
unless you wish to face the scold
by those doing what theyre told

Dont crucify me for the love
  I actually CAN get

Over the years
all that you said
the glimmer in your eyes
with the way you looked at me
The words exchanged
those perfect moments in your arms
regardless of how seldom
and far between
they may have been
neither of us could escape
the passion shared
in spite of the short distance
that seemed a million miles
or how fate
always seemed to bring us back
to each others presence
as if time and space deemed it
which we always returned to
as if it were yesterday
when we least expected
but its your silence
that almost convinces me
it never meant a thing.

I believe
when it all boils down to it
the majority of us
would rather have nothing
with someone
than everything
with no one.

I've been sent enough
by insecure women
attempting to garner my attention
by exposing their body
which means they don't realize
that a picture does not bear their soul
and I never was that type of man
to be stimulated by the superficial
I have gigabytes worth
In a folder I care not to look at
way back
in my hard drives cache
yet cant delete
luckily for them
I'm not the type of creep
to share them with the world
but you,
you are special enough to me
that I don't need a visual reminder
when its burnt into my synapses
for as long as I live.

I could write the poetry
about my concerns
Inside a society
where no one listens or learns
They would rather fan the flame
and watch it all burn
Take everything in vain
for nothing in return
Leaving little for their children
but tainted water and scorched earth
raised with the belief
in ancient fictional words
Who cant see it as a story
about wisdom pursued
they'd rather sit in ignorance
and see it as a whole truth
In constant dispute
as it all comes unglued
the problems ensue
instead of starting anew
Veils wrapped over their eyes
then they act surprised
when found tangled up in hell
with the decay on the vine
content with the leadership
providing them lies
instead of thinking for themselves
they follow misconstrued ties
provided with the wealth
of being told they're just fine
but you are nowhere near it
and neither am I

I could point out all these matters
that it seems they forgot
but it falls upon deaf ears
afflicted with brain rot.
Lord knows I tried
but why give it another shot
just to be discredited?

I'd rather not

No matter how dark
that same old path I travel
or how long
I keep my feet from walking it
My muse
that I cannot call ugly
in any way
rears her head
and we meet eye to eye
I dont know
how she finds me
that evil *****
has a way about her
Knowing I'm fooled
without flattery
as she asks
how it is I do it.

I will forever love you
in heart and mind
Wishing I could rocket both
into the sky
and beyond the stars
exploding into cosmic dust
and drift forever through the cosmos
carrying the message
in all directions
for eternity

even if it meant my life
    some things are worth such sacrifice.

I walk through the dark but await a new dawn
for what I feel is right sometimes turns out wrong
It's about where your going, and not where you've gone
I wander this path to find where I belong
Under no circumstance will my resolve be fawned
even though I surpassed the line that was drawn
My soles are worn thin, but these legs still stand strong
If the shoe fits wear it, and walk the **** on.

I have grown tired
of
screaming
into
these
deaf
  Ears

The guy friends like to tease me
because I like to secretly romance
the young souls that need and deserve it.

"Ohh, you gonna read her a poem and cuddle?"

They razz at me. . .

"You bought her flowers?!?"

*****. . .

Yes I will, and yes, yes I did.

These are the same men who probably never saw
that special sparkle in a womans eye
that they all posses
and if you are not careful.
It just might burn right through you.

Sleep away the days
count sheep all the night
my stomach rumbles
should probably eat
but I have no appetite
coffee all the morning
alcohol all evening
chain smoking in between
my futile search for reason
staring at the walls
I erected around myself
as to not abide
by my decline in mental health.

This growing listless
has left me catatonic
just searching for some substance
Another way to numb this

Too long I've feigned uncaring
this act has left me wary
and it has took its toll
trying to collect my bearings

Searching for some control
Trying to stay unknown
cant show this tattered soul
cant know that I'm not whole

A feeble search for beauty
being blinded by the ugly
truth staring in my face
Trying to escape this rat race

A burnt tongue, with a bitter taste
of my own medicine
all Ive done, and laid to waste
Still I take it time and time again

Its not that I dont learn
its just all that I know
in line waiting my turn
to discover what awaits below.

I am but a mote of dust
floating in the sunbeams
shining through the blinds
behind a locked window
that you refuse to open.

They say the truth will set you free
But it seems to have imprisoned me
On the inside looking out
cast below shadows of doubt
I spoke my mind
pled my case
gave my heart
what a waste
cold steel bars I cant elude
erected by the likes of you

My loss, and my gain
are one in the same.

Pardon my empathy
and the fact that emotions
shape my thinking
and those thoughts
force my actions
I'm am truly sorry for my failure
to pantomime my existence
excuse my inability
to be cold and methodical
I'm beg mercy for when I
don't even know when
I am being sarcastic
it seems saying what you think
and not what others want to hear
isn't the most popular stance
It takes a rare person
to enjoy the company of another
who is quick to shatter your
*illusions

Memory lane*
always seems
to be full of *road blocks

Sometimes I wonder,
  if that was love in her eyes.

My heart hurts
and Im not sure whats worse
the pain that remains
or that I disperse
I try not to spread
that which is in my head
should I try to ignore
or share the ache instead?
Who would that make?
Is that me?
Why can I not shake
this discrepancy.
I hide with a smile
questioning the worthwhile
I feel like a fake
just an unsure child
Have I known
who I am?
Whats left to be shown
should I give a ****?
I have built a wall
and Im still adding bricks
wondering if this all
I should just submit

Maybe I'm slipping
Maybe I've lost it
Maybe I feel I've exhausted the subject
Maybe I'm jaded and uninterested
unappreciated and full of neglect
Maybe it all is in jest over nonsense
Another trial
Another judgement
Another sentence thats already spent
Seek a different ruse
Perhaps a new muse
I need more abuse
and a brand new excuse
in need of this so I can persist
because right now its as if I hardly exist

Maybe I wont
But maybe I might
Exhasting this course
Forced and contrite
My mind screams flight
My heart sings fight
My silent soul torn between
This never ending plight.

That new leaf
You claimed to turn
Looked just as unsightly
As the old one
Although
I only caught a glance
While you blew by
Yet again.

Out there
somewhere
not very far
from my window
I hear a gathering
people laughing
screaming
talking
experiencing each other
and here I sit
alone
on warm Saturday night
staring into nothing
tapping away my laments

I live inside myself
my own little world
I read my own books
and poetry
and listen to my own music
sure, I absorb others material
as much as I can
but I am only a lurker
looking over the Earth
silently
from my dark little island
gazing over seas
both digital and real
wondering how the others do it
Are they just good at pretending?
Are they really not as insincere
as they all appear?
These feelings, or lack thereof
are thrown up like smoke signals
from the fire inside me
hoping another
might see or hear
with eyes, ears, heart, soul and mind
that are almost mine
to rescue me
from this strange illusion
of my own creation

Its
     not
my
        job
to
  tell
you
   what
part
to  

focus on.

and good titles with bad poetry. . . .

I did this on purpose
and you have failed the test
because you chose to walk away
instead of try your best

I did this on purpose
and you proved tried and true
to the colors I ignored
I finally see you.

If the devil was real
I'd make a deal
to reobtain
what I let her steal
but if I did
matters may worsen
the deal I first made
may be with the same person

These tired eyes are desensitized
from every lie I've been supplied
but I watched the tides
and rode the winds
yet still cant pretend
I wouldn't do it again.

Even if lose or win
      Even if sink or swim

In a puzzle
full of round pieces
I am *jagged