Although
you are no longer
interlocked
with my mortal coil
there are planes
where you can never
be untangled
and while
most of the time
my soul screams for
a relase from such bind
there are clear moments
where it would sacrifice all
to feel so close again

I only seek
a dampened pain
this bad liver
is a result
of a good heart
putting my faith
in those
with self-serving intent
I know it is I
who chose these paths
but Im still not sure why
darkness falls
on even the most beautiful
of landscapes
I burn the bridges
yet linger
hoping to find
some kind of warmth
letting the black smoke
sting my lungs
these twisted synapses
that always seem
to lead to dead ends
making me turn
to travel
down those same old roads

Fire in one hand
liquid in the other
clutching these crutches
with feelings to smother
the pill
the powder
the *****
these people
my heart on my sleeve
soiled by the deceitful

I am just
swimming against
the current
of the abyss

I fought so hard just to hold on
and now I strain at letting go
my mind wont budge against the pull
of my heart at the end of the rope

I am just a game, a twisted toy
here to amuse the girls and boys
Tossed to the wolves, just to amuse
play how you may choose
but you'll always lose

I am just a game, a twisted toy
I bring more pain than I do joy
I am no prize, I have no goal
look in these eyes, just a ******* hole

No prize, no goal
here lies an empty soul

Beauty is skin deep
but can cut to the bone.

There is nothing more that I hate
besides my uncertainty

I only saw the light
after I dug myself up
from the thousands of years
of superstitions
we are buried underneath
and left their indecisive
claims of truth
unearthed

Everybody
deep down
carries that pain
of uncertainty
knowing humanity
could be so much more
than what we are.

Its so hard to let go
when its so easy to remember
as I watch other fragmented memories
numerous as grains of sand
shimmering on the shore
getting buried by the tides
of new thoughts
seeking beauty in its destruction
but the fires have died
and my eyes
never really have adjusted to the darkness

I'm a kind of tired that sleep can't fix
in a game gone amiss where no one wins
in a race stuck in place that don't begin
where every action is seen as sin

I am kind of lost where no compass
can find a home or points to bliss
facing the wind as I ****
the stains on my soles will iterate this

Im the kind of mad that lacks their tricks
a sad gone bad that cant be nixed
perplexed and had caught in the mix
as it all comes down like a ton of bricks

An introvert to escape the hurt
whos grew quite sick of chasing skirts
nomad on the landscape scraping dirt
disguising a grave as a yurt

I tire of this twisted game
where everything remains unchanged
With all I do just to get through to you

All the things you used to say
that your actions did not portray
and like a fool, I averted my gaze

No longer love your heartbreak
No longer love this mistake

Its time to make new memories
instead of dwelling within these

Even though you told me it was real

No longer love the heartache
or the way you forsake
all the love I gave away
without return, without display

A molten mess,
     this flesh once made of steel.

I wish I never saw your face
I wish I never heard your voice
I wish I'd never given chase
I wish I never made that choice

I wish I never felt your touch
I wish we never shared those stares
I wish I said enoughs enough
I wish that I just didn't care

I wish for different circumstance
I wish we never had romance
I wish that I could change my stance
So future love could have a chance

Crumpled retrospect
clutters at my desk
I cant seem to aquire the words
to rightfully express
the pain within my chest
or confusion in my mind
Maybe I'll find it this time. . .

If I just write one more line.

Sometimes,
     You have to let go
of the ones who take your breath away
      so you can breathe again
If you dont do this
     they just may
drag you into the murky depths
      of the abyss

My faith in your god
  is about as strong
as his indifference to us. . .

Resentment of intelligence
as it goes to ****
Resentment of intelligence
obsessively oblivious
Resentment of intelligence
rely upon obedience
Resentment of intelligence
blind eye on what you wish
Resentment of intelligence
death march into the crypt
Resentment of intelligence
as the end creeps sure and swift

Who loves least holds all the power,
    with no release for those devoured.

Some of us
only learn of true love
by the eternal lingering it presents
after we have lost it.

Im washing my hands of you
     with my own tears
Torn in two
   over wasted years

My clasped hands were unseen
and my prayers went unheard
I tried so hard to believe
in its contradicting words

So many await the touch of god
that so often fails to reach them
so we buy into the facade
and accept its requiem

Substituting the divine
with the fabrications of man
wasting precious time
just trying to understand

Is it god who is invisible. . .
  or is it I?

The heart has its reasons
that go beyond reason
and all the mind can do is reluctantly question.

They own everything
the opinion of reliance
the feeling of dependence
the fear
the conformity
the instilled ignorance
and distraction of
the masses
eyes glued to the **** tube
watching political puppets
dance to their master scheme
the sidewalks I walk upon
the streets I drive
all the food I eat
the water I drink
the fires I ignite
the land I reside on
the schools I learned in
the lines I type this message through
even the most basic
human needs and commodities of life
they slap a dollar sign on
a dollar sign made and controlled by them
they own the people
who will eventually drag me away
because they can never have my heart
they can never have my soul
and most of all. .
they will never have my mind.

and it pains me knowing they own so much more
of the others surrounding me.

I am the hurt you can't ignore,
dilemmas you wish not to explore
I am that feeling you cant shake,
the flashy white smile you know is fake.

I'm the tale of a broken heart - sailing through a shattered mind
I am the endless search - for the things you can not find
I am all of the times - you wish you could rewind.
I am the light that shines - only to leave you blind.

I am the anger that they feed
I am the task you cant succeed
I am the garden full of weeds
I am the open wound that bleeds

I'm the tale of a broken heart - sailing through a shattered mind
I am the endless search - for the things you can not find
I am all of the times - you wish you could rewind.
I am the light that shines - only to leave you blind.

I am the lies that you thought were true.
I am the ties that are binding you.
I am the aroma of decay
I am the trash that you throw away.

I am the unwanted.

I would rather pull my teeth
than bite my tongue.

Lets glorify our sickness
Lets shout it loud and proudly
face down on our wrongs blindly
Wave flags of bannered shroud

Lets pacify our flaws
erase them each and all
the guise of law inconspicuous
with views of bathrooms and walls

A dictatorships edict
a fanatical revel
those who do not fall in line
are threatened fires of hell

Let us voice the few
and bicker among the many
degrade those of need
and elate those who have plenty

Lets celebrate how we are free
by mimicking celebrities
Wasting away behind our screens
merrily flashing and screaming

  repeat after me. .
     repeat after me. .
         repeat after me.

Why is it
we so easily forget
what shaped who we were
to become someone
we are not?

This ghost town that is my heart
the structures signify their depart
Reflecting on my sentence spent
with all of those who came and went

The lights on, but no ones home
Conjoined by roads where no one goes
Properties left overgrown
staring through the windows all alone

I know the truth
I'm not one of you
I will never be
the population reflects that obviously

Honesty my enemy
punishing me for using it freely
I wont knock, or right the bell
When the threshold emits a decaying smell

Their apathy driving me mad
a nomad constantly being had
with words so insincere
Four letter lies ring in my ears

It doesn't hurt as it once did
Your silence killed the heart I hid
The love you claimed faded away
When you refrained toying with me
Gaining momentum, more intact
Less and less I'm looking back
Moving forward without you
No longer makes me come unglued
Youre part of me starts to disjoint
As you become a vanishing point

One day you will find
that vengeance is mine
every single time
that I cross your mind

I hope you choke on my heart
as you devour it before me
relish every part
knowing the pain it brings

I will smile as you do
while your gaze turns to disgust
I even gave fair warning
that my love was poisonous

You think they're mistakes
but I make my flaws traits

Its time to change the subject
You wore this topic thin
I tire of the mindset
which Ive been dwelling in
How can one escape?
I cant outrun the echo
this chaos it creates
still screams within my soul

Many live to love
but love is killing me
I can not seem to fill the hole
where my heart used to be
I wish I was oblivious
from knowing it exists
as i did once before
all those little trysts
My eyes gazed upon beauty
and all its majesty
now I can not seem
to focus past the ugly
I can only plea
for naivete
Not even time can free my mind
from all of its bindings.

You can fit the entire universe
inside of my heart

Love is nothing new to me
in fact it's getting old
the more I play this hide and seek
the further apart we grow
As Cupids face starts to decay
to a pale shade of grey
getting weaker with his aim
For his arrow to mark my way.

I must be way too passive
I take all they have added
and multiply ten fold
until it builds up then explodes

I must forsake too much
its like an atom bomb I clutch.
as it grows within the wake
the destruction I calculate

Please run, for your own sake
   before my fair warning is too late.

I sit here at the bottom
and yet no one knows
Who is to reach down?
Am I afraid
or ashamed?
I don't want your help
too proud
and hard headed
to save me from myself
focusing my energy
on what is inferior
instead on every single thing
that makes life superior
I can act
I can laugh
and in fact be that man
you only see that half
as I stand unabashed
Refusing to change
but I want to evolve
Let me do it my way
with my own resolve
as society steps backwards
towards Neanderthals
I wish to destroy this
I wish it to fall
I don't want compromise
to be the way this is solved.

If things were well enough
  I'd leave well enough alone

I grab life by its hair
pull firmly
and ride the hell out of it
I will continue
to live in a manner
that would make many
mortal men tremble
so that when death comes to claim me
he will be more afraid than I am.

Its all about the pieces
you keep after you're broken
and the pieces of the pieces
after you're broken again

I'm a good poet
if you like what I write
I'm a bad poet
if you don't
either way
I'm still a poet

What happened to the dashes?
Where are they now?
They used to like my poems
some of them cried afoul

Electronic phantoms
ghosts in the wire
these digital unborn
Where have they retired?

What were their names?
where did they go?
Im here just the same
In the afterglow

Darling
You are so gorgeous
And intelligent
That you dont have to rely
On what society tells you
You should
That your dreams
need not face
The execution
To play these games
With men
Who made the rules
That you enforce
It saddens me
You chose
The former
Over the latter
Because brains
Outlast beauty.
As I watch
a slipping mind
steal away the soul.

Try to scream over the thunder
try to stay dry in the rain
this dark cloud that Im under
lightning strikes with subtle pains

I can feel myself eroding
this water overflowing me
the storms sounds are forboding
fog over an endless sea

Slipping through slick fingers
trying to catch a grip
a lonliness that lingers
adrift, a sinking ship.

Wading in the chaos
as I kick and flail
my spirit lost in seance
my preservation fails

I didn't find you most beautiful
after all those hours you spent
on your makeup
or shaping your lovely hair
into its tiny strands.
or the outfits you wore
that hugged your frame
so eager to catch a hungry eye
I found you most beautiful
after the makeup
was smeared or washed away
your hair a mess from the long night
and your outfits nothing but balled up fabric
strewn across the room
and all those barriers you put up
for others
came crashing down
under the weight of your smile
thats when you were the most beautiful thing
I have ever seen.

Perhaps our story ended,
and we turned past the last page.
Nothing left for amendment,
the path before us laid.

This book met a conclusion.
What a fairy tale it was.
Maybe just an illusion,
the heart and mind plays tricks, it does.

Yet it all just seemed so true.
Who knew,
it would be just like a movie?
People dream to exist like this,
instead they live assuming.

I backtrack through the chapters,
nearly driven insane.
Forever chasing after,
a retelling of our claims

Perhaps someday I'll feel the same
evolve beyond these throes.
In days those passions were untamed,
where every ending goes.

People like to say that they don't care
but I know this isn't true
its just an excuse
to hide what others put them through.

The Problem isn't caring
its pretending not to
for we all are scared of sharing
the pains of what others can do