You claim to turn a new leaf
but what about the trees that fell
in your name, and ceased
are they forgotten in the path you claim?
Look at what you uprooted
from all that you disputed
no solid ground to take foot in
you wish to forget this nuisance?
You say you're different now
but does that change the past
and how, exactly
does that change it now
directly, when whats been done
affects me already
All you do is run
and I'm sure that changes the outcome
just as you said
but still
you cant change the past
and never will.
The quill you penned within my head

Watery eyes
haunted mind
in love with a ghost
whos still alive

This electric séance
tries to revive
what I had once
before I die

I'm smart enough
to know this true
dumb down my trust
just for your ruse

Hidden reasons
I suppress
my heart seizing
my time less

I thought this over
believed it passed
but here I am
with love poems again

and in the end
of this pass through
I shall become
more phantom than you

I the burden
with words effortless
this endless endeavor
this death perfect.

He passed up all his chances
he was too afraid
He dreamt of the advances
that he had never made
He never voiced his thoughts
he never spoke his passion
He sat idle and distraught
waiting for some action

People loved him dearly
which he quickly turned away
He never spoke sincerely
or sought to be forgave

He cursed the gods above
for a heart that was not followed
and the state he has become
hollowed just because

of something great that never was.

You're only stabbing the corpse
Of something you already killed

When did I lose the sun
where did I fold
what happened to everyone
where did they go?
Im here alone
on this long lonely road
where all that is golden
does no longer show

Caught in the winds of change
everythings strange
drifting past faces
that dont seem the same
Should I go back the way that I came
or let the winds carry me on through the grey?

Carry me on through the grey
to the blue I used to see

Losing my family
losing my friends
losing myself
as I lose in the end
losing the girl
losing my world
and losing my mind
as it spins and twirls.

Carry me on through the grey
to the blue I used to see

Caught in the winds of change
everythings strange
drifting past faces
that dont seem the same
Should I go back the way that I came
or let the winds carry me on through the grey?

**just a song Im in the midst of recording with my band, figured Id share it

These wouldnt happen to be
  your black *******, would they?

I only saw the light
after I dug myself up
from the thousands of years
of superstitions
we are buried underneath
and left their indecisive
claims of truth
unearthed

Im better, but Im worse
for it no longer hurts
nothing seems to work
these senses cant be nursed

I finally succeeded
emotion no longer needed
My resolve has been depleted
affections are defeated

So long I wish I lacked
now I only want them back
for the pain which I enthralled
was better than nothing at all

Never try to dull your passions
you might just succeed.

With no hope for tomorrow
I drowned all my sorrows
seeking salvation
at the bottom of bottles
I chose shady ladies
to protect myself
from any love
that I possibly felt
surrounded myself
with who I thought were friends
until I only had empty arms to extend
I chose self destruction
to corner my hate
which only obstructed
my will to create

I'm no longer lost
I may still be searching
but letting go of all my wrongs
that I've been holding to for far too long

I've always known better
but love blinded me
My instincts told me
yet passion subdued me
I am smarter than this
but the heart does not hear the mind
I heeded all warnings
yet ignored and got lost in my awareness
I had better choices
but persistence led me astray
My punishment
remains my choice
from reluctance
to let go
of my own reflection

Silly me, stupid me
let my heart lead so easily
Silly me, stupid me
my mind and eyes too blind to see
Silly me, stupid me
to believe love is a two-way street
Silly me, stupid me
this endless search that I still seek

I am just
swimming against
the current
of the abyss

The time between laughter
is growing more distant
it's becoming harder
to force a smile
yet the tears fall so easily
I played the part of a clown
too long
too well
What love I still have to offer
goes  unwanted without return
As the years
Seem to grow shorter
Thinking the Gods must have
More hurt to offer
Considering their protection
Through this suicidal rampage
With failed attempts to drown
aquatic sorrows
Watching the vultures circle
my sun dried carcass
if there is something large enough
to fill this void
it certainly isn't within
my range of sight

This ghost town that is my heart
the structures signify their depart
Reflecting on my sentence spent
with all of those who came and went

The lights on, but no ones home
Conjoined by roads where no one goes
Properties left overgrown
staring through the windows all alone

I know the truth
I'm not one of you
I will never be
the population reflects that obviously

Honesty my enemy
punishing me for using it freely
I wont knock, or right the bell
When the threshold emits a decaying smell

Their apathy driving me mad
a nomad constantly being had
with words so insincere
Four letter lies ring in my ears

Just another
Self loathing
Self destructive
Self proclaimed poet
Who has grown stagnant
In his own numbness
and lost the words
to vent
his pains and frustrations

Maybe you were just
a pretty, pretty pistol
that caught my eye
and wanted to put in my mouth

Maybe I thought you were
a good way to die
Maybe I only loved you
because of the misery you caused
and maybe
I don't want that misery anymore

So let the barrel
burn my tongue of your taste
and the bullet
erase your thoughts from my brains
and if there was anything
you ever truly wanted of me

Maybe you can scrape what is left
from the walls

You have turned me
ON
   and
OFF
So many times
that one day soon
it just may break
from over use
and the effect you desire
may no longer work
when you flip it

Everyone wants to emulate their lives
like on television
fighting flaws
and protagonists
so we create them
as if our individual life
has meaning
in some sort of grandeur fashion
more than the next
doing the same
making their mark on the world
hoping it sparks a crater
the size of neuclear proportions
yet here I am facing
my own demons
without the greed of attention
and getting
the same incomplete result
if not less
must be all the selfishness

Bend it till it breaks
Use it till its gone
people, places, objects
pummeled in our palms

Value losing virtue
Appreciation, depreciating
Death hovers above you
Bony fingers reach for greeting

So work it till its worthless
then cast it away
people, places, objects
treated all the same.

Have you ever spilled your heart
only to watch it be lapped up
by the tongues of rodents?
Have you ever bared your soul
only to be chastised
by the soulless?

Have you ever had a simple question
met with a blank stare
and awkward silence?
Have you ever felt all that you mention
falls on deaf ears
with violent defiance?

Have you ever been so alone
that the only person
you can speak to is yourself?
Have you ever been left on your own
as matters worsen
with no one else to help?

While engulfed in the crowd,
you against all around?

Are you too afraid to tell?

Think its a tall tale?

Then all is well.

You're still alive.

Experiencing the one of infinite views

from a universal being

A miracle in itself.

When I die
  the angel will probably have your face.

What fun is life really,
with it all figured out?

I always followed
whats in my heart
not my wallet

Sitting here
with beer in hand
drinking
awaiting better days
but the better days are so few
and the dull nights grow longer
so I crack another open
and discard the last
empty as me
to the corner
not sure how many this has been now
not sure. . .
days. . bottles. . . whatever
drowning aching thoughts
consuming
waiting
for something
maybe for the phone to ring
or a visit from the ones
who have forgotten you
but the women you want
come too late
the ones you dont
come to frequent
neither really care much
they will outlive you anyway
most likely
most do
drinking
away the money
you would otherwise spend
on unaffordable things
that you dont really need
as you cast another
to the pile
bottles upon bottles
in bins
and bags
clattering on a cluttered table
along with crumpled retrospection
hell. . . .
at least there is a bright side
Michigan does have a 10 cent bottle deposit
in which you can take them back
to buy more beer

What can I possibly say
that I havent already
to change things ?
If there is something
I can portray
to alter the outcome
just tell me what it is
and I will speak it
Because as of now
saying everything
and saying nothing
produces the same exact results

Its time to brush the dust off
from the past that we both built
It never had a future
and our present fate is sealed
Too many empty seconds
Too many hollow hours
Watering a seedling
which was never meant to flower
Too many months of madness
Too many yearning years
Too few smiles shared
Too many lonesome tears

I curbed my drinking
cleaned up most of my filth
how uninspiring

We want to save the world
but yet we cant save ourselves
as our empathy is invested
in everything else

Mercilessly ignorant
living in a bubble
Tirelessly thought is spent
on insignificant struggles

We like to boast we're civilized
but we're not even close
living by deceit and lies
hurting those we love most

Always looking through the eyes
of those known to hate us
uprising in fantasizing
that war is going to save us

Sometimes we must accept
even the worst of ourselves
in order to find our best
in what the future may tell

If you remain being afraid
to look at yourself
you'll never see the big picture
anywhere else

If loving you too much was a crime
I willingly admit my guilt
And I'm still doing the time
My memories of you
Are the cold steel bars I look through
From the back of my mind.

I have been defeated
by what I thought was true
but instead of feeling cheated
With playing by your rules

I can escape your same old game
and win one that is new
By living this just for me
Instead of all for you.

Theres not a day that passes
where it does not cross my mind
Its you that I envision
wishing that love was blind
but it isnt so in my case
I look but can not find
a new way to replace
where I invested my time.

At times
I think to myself
that I would give anything
just to talk to you
one more time
but then I realize
I already said
everything
I wanted to say
and at that point
I would just be repeating myself
So maybe
its really not the words
I wish to reaffirm
Its the memories
that I only wish to recreate
in my present.
Either way,
there is nothing left
for me to regret
except
my punctured pride
which I already swallowed
So many moons ago

She was carnivore
and I was predator
It was just a matter
of who devoured who first
and as I nursed my wounds
I realized
she did nothing to go against
her instinct
even though I wanted her to
I could hold no animosity
as I live to face
the next adversary

I learned more
facing my doubts
than I ever did
clinging to faith
The edge is hard to define
until it is gone over
I never knew how far I could go
until I went too far
I never knew how much I could stand
until I withstood too much
I wont know how much I can love
until my love is enough
because some limits
are meant to be pushed
and some boundaries
are meant to be broken

I don't use punctuation,
I'll have you know
only in situations
I wish to change flow.

As long as its understood
I pay no mind
unless it does good
for whats in between the lines.

I don't care if its wrong,
or even if its right.
I just want not to conform
the way that I write.

Despite how forlorn
it is to your eyes.

Maybe it was insane
it may all be in vain
but given a second go
I'd do it all again the same

Just remember,
  You're
the only one
    I
did that for.

I have a one track mind
and its in the gutter
With whiskey breath
and a bit of a stutter
I type at a desk
where the beer bottles clutter
the scattered ashes
spins and dashes
in the winds of the summer
Theres a stain on my bed spread
from the girl last week
I should probably wash it
its where I rest my cheek
I dont own much
but amps and guitars
with a whole lot of memories, debris, and scars
and wouldn't trade one bit
to become who you are.

I fought so hard just to hold on
and now I strain at letting go
my mind wont budge against the pull
of my heart at the end of the rope

Its time to change the subject
You wore this topic thin
I tire of the mindset
which Ive been dwelling in
How can one escape?
I cant outrun the echo
this chaos it creates
still screams within my soul

I can say I never really believed you
I can say I  didn't buy into your ploys
I can say your professions of love
left me unconvinced
I can say I never swallowed your promises
while choking on the ashes of uncertainty
For I knew your fire never burned for me
quite as hot as mine did for you
but, what I cant say
is that I never wished it was different
because then
it would be I
who was the liar

Surrounded by headlamps and tail lights
but its still a lonely road
with nothing to keep me company
but a radio full of static
a dwindling pack of cigarettes
and my *thoughts

Beauty is skin deep
but can cut to the bone.

Youre still fighting
for their broken promises
and you still buy into
the ancient texts they've read
You apply the enemies that they present
for you cant see
it is yourself who is the threat

Come place your bets
to chase whos most threatened

You consume their *******
without hesitance
Dooming your heirs
pushing them into your debts
You can choose
to reject these offenses
you can look to
a better future

With no regrets

You are the threat
not mending the fence
ignoring whats best

Come place your bets
to see whos most threatened

I'm a good poet
if you like what I write
I'm a bad poet
if you don't
either way
I'm still a poet

Just waiting
For us to leave this planet
And explore the universe
So we can **** that up too.

The sands of time S
                                p
                             i
                               r
                           a
                       L    
down
   and I still have to find so many puzzle pieces
too many enigmas to ponder
  lines to connect
words to circle
differences in the pictures to point out
in order to not feel so completely incomplete. . .

  so many more wounds to obtain
from such a large heart I have yet to fill

For a short, and glorious time
  The world was yours
     The world was mine
Until we started drawing lines
beyond what we could define.
Waiting for stars to align
in hopes to see some kind of sign.

I
sabotage
the
wheels

before I get on the wagon.