Just follow my wandering mind
my heart will be there.

Those who wish
to be madly in love
rarely ever have been
or they would understand
that it is a raging fire
few can hover over
for very long.

Even the poorest man
can treat a woman like gold.

at first I didnt really like or buy into the trend of 10w poetry, but now I kinda like the constraints, it gives the words power when they are done right in my opinion. Considering I usually find it best to say as much as you can with little as possible.

It didnt take an angel
to subdue my inner demons.

Taking necessities from many
to provide
luxuries
for the few

Most do not live long enough
to see their work pay off
There is too much contradiction
from the swine at the trough.

Most do not long enough
to see their craft evolve
they wait until we're dead and gone
to interpret the song.

Im obsessed with sorrow
why cant I let things go?
I dont even know why
I follow the undertow

Made misery my maiden
but she has left me jaded
seeking out a light within
the darkness I created

Why is all I value
sold off to misfortune?
what am I to tell you
when the words I speak seem foreign

Seen so much
but feel so little
out of touch
clouded and riddled

I don't feel how I used to feel
or see how I used to see
returning has lost its appeal
reliving in these memories

A warmth builds inside my eyes
haunted by ghosts dead and alive
at times I wished not to reprise
where love resides with broken ties

Is this some phantom imagery
or are they still in front of me?
Their faces can be plainly seen
or maybe I'm just seeing things

Mind in toil
Heart in strife
someday I may get this right
all that I can do is try
even if another life.

Removing loves veil
  allowed me to see
your true colors

Why does my worst poetry trend
while my best festers?

Twice as bright
half as long
great for those
who don't belong.
Who would want to
on this stage?
Plagiarized
and overplayed
Overwelcoming
its stay
Upon this
obvious
fixed game.

I see through my own *******
past where the guise lies
I play the tortured artist
but I can escape at any time

I have grown used to the cold
it is what I've come to know
its in my surroundings
it is what I hold

Why try to compromise
what I have come to like?
I will not subside
in what I see as trite

I may contradict myself
but at least I can admit
while everyone else
seems to buy into their gambit

Just
  save your *******
for someone
  you actually cared about

Have you ever wondered
what lies beyond the mirage,
or does the ******* they feed you
subdue your entourage?
Being pillaged and plundered
torn asunder by their botched collage.
Essential issues whither
the trivial prevail,
incessant bickering
we applaud, and we hail
As the boys in blue trade in their suits
for masks and camouflage.
Ignoring truth with no dispute,
Lady Liberty's bon voyage.

No sense to question why.
just wave her goodbye
Something in the water
Something in the sky

Dont make me conform to #hashtags

I dont want to have to spell out the portrayal of #thefuckingpoem

I want it to invoke whatever feelings they may #discernfromit

Not #spellitoutforthem

#love #pain #fun #disdain #**** #this #thoughtless #game

I did this on purpose
and you have failed the test
because you chose to walk away
instead of try your best

I did this on purpose
and you proved tried and true
to the colors I ignored
I finally see you.

My loss, and my gain
are one in the same.

All this I hide
so you cant see
what lies inside
and bleed like me

my resignation
from this creation
wheres the compassion
within our actions

my resignation
from what is human
the end is looming
in all youre doing

Its a barrel on the tongue
a rope around the neck
pull the trigger
take the leap
wait for what is next

Its becoming sustenance
suicide by increments
the more it grows, the worse it gets
walking hand in hand with death

Its a razor to the wrist
water in the lungs
make the cut
take the plunge
let thy will be done

Its becoming evident
wounds showing the discontent
the more it grows, the worse it gets
as I lie here and bleed to death

All this I hide
so you cant see
what lies inside
and bleed like me

my resignation
from this creation
wheres the compassion
within our actions

my resignation
from what is human
the end is looming
in all youre doing

I may never be successful
should I feel like I'm supposed to?
I don't share the same ambitions
as many others do
slaving through their days
in a monetary excuse
I would rather die broke and lonely
loving what I pursue
than surrounded by acquaintances
loving that which isn't you.

Just look what its done to me
Its something I failed to see
It happened so suddenly
and ended so tragically

Watch as your bridges burn
when will you ever learn?
Now that your bridge has burned
where are you going to turn?

Destroy and rebuild again
when will it ever end
I see the smoke up ahead
and I don't know who's my friend

I saw the space burn today
where we would have met half way
smoldering disarray
above where rough waters lay

You know that I would meet you half way
but now half way sits in decay

I fight a war on too many fronts
and am losing in every direction
opaque views of what I want
and what is worth the mention
Ignored the facts for way too long
time to remove the veil
from what I have known all along
the jailers in the cell
With nothing left to do
and nothing left to say
the truth in choices that were made
why it remains this way.

I will never
write a poem
with the curves
and grace
that you possess. . .
or the thoughts and feelings
you instill on me
How can a man
describe or imagine
a woman who surpasses
the girl of his dreams?

I think I'm pretty sure
I could have it worse
but I can not ignore
that it still doesn't hurt

I can still force a smile
participate in wiles
but I'm without a purpose
to search for the worthwhile

I'll hide behind this mask
that's grown ugly and cracked
as long as you don't ask
what brought about this fact.

Holding to a secret
although everyone knows
this guise became my skin
I stretched around my bones.

Any peace of mind
stolen out of spite
an impossible bind
that has purloined my insight.

Just when I think
I have pulled away far enough
I am pulled right back
without any intervention
by you
Yet I stir
in my desolation
awaiting
another to arrive with scissors
sharp enough
to cut me loose

Im sorry I cant be like you
humans always on the move
scraping for their families
to supply nice shiny, little things
Im sorry that I can not act
in apathy or still intact
as those on your flashing screen
Id rather remain unseen
to those who would rather sleep
than make dreams a reality
clinging to a crippling fear
as happiness whizzes past their ears
Like a bullet that the eye cant catch
the masters money you must fetch
its the only way of gain
in a twisted, sick, society

but I dont want you anyway
I only want someone like me

I remember the days
I used to punch up inanimate objects
to a pulp
until my knuckles were bare
and they were a ****** mess for weeks
so in a way,
I guess I did the same thing

I used to judge some of the girls I knew
who did this. . .
thinking they just wanted attention,
but they did. .
and now I realized, so did I.

We all do. .  

Maybe we just want others to see our pain
or perhaps we want to manifest
our mental pains physically

but I grew out of it
and found new, better ways
to express that fiery pit inside me
to relate it to others
and you will too. . .

So I can honestly say. . .
  It just isnt worth it.

Life will scar you enough as it is,
and the best thing you can do
is grin as it does
in defiance.

In a blurry haze
I drunk dialed god
of course he didn't answer
and his voicemail box was full
I'm just another with incoherent ramblings
of his abandonment
that goes unheard
No sappy admissions
of missing how he used to make me feel
or how empty I have been
since his departure
Even his own son
felt forsaken by him
So I suppose I shouldnt expect any better
Now I remember
why I don't call him anymore

Vindictive and spiteful
your pride is your drive
You push and you pull
your desires derive

Resentful, obtuse
blame your existence
always an excuse
for all you diminish

I wanted to save
not try to fix
but you never forgave
you wallow in ****

I waded therewith
for far way too long
any way I shift
you'll point out as wrong

Had my problems too
although you never knew
because I don't lack the empathy
to push them on you.

You work on being a posession,
   I seek a companion.

Even the brightest of birds
Get used to their cage

Some
things
will
just
always
be
worth
all
the suffering

That new leaf
You claimed to turn
Looked just as unsightly
As the old one
Although
I only caught a glance
While you blew by
Yet again.

I really need to tie one on
so you should buy my book
Mind Afire, on Amazon
go and take a look.

At the end and trying to begin
seeking out a way to make amends
veiled behind a smile thats pretend
questioning just who is foe and friend
When theres nothing left for them to steal
you quickly find out which allies are real
I'm opening the door once again
no longer afraid of who may come in
even if its just to bring more hurt
at least I would feel something
and at this point, anything will work.
I want to be the one that someone needs
instead of just another luxury
Even though I don't have all the parts
I'm rebuilding whats left of my heart
Maybe the picture can still be seen
even with some puzzle pieces missing

but I wont know for sure,
  until I start overhauling
regardless what I've been discarding
there is still a reason to believe

That even the empty can be complete

There is no lesser evil that benefits the greater good,
The people victims in a system thats misunderstood
Fussing and fighting over money and their policies
Forget the hungry, dying species, and polluted seas

Saying the systems so superb, such a grand thing
being fooled and bamboozled to where we cant think
No longer following our own dreams
So convoluted trapped inside of this grand scheme

Jack of all trades, master of none
they have many games to play, you cant go after just one
Please pretend to have a say, in their controlled outcome
be at ease, go to sleep, as feet stomp to war drums

Is this how we should exist, should I really be ******?
Am I the only who thinks we can do better than this?
Why do so many participate in this ignorance?
Why must we allow fallacies like this to persist?

She said she'd always love me
but obviously not enough
to do anything about it
and certainly not as much
as I have loved her

She said that I can find love
when I told her I wont
and maybe
she would be right
if I could stop
throwing all mine away
for her

So I'll bid adieu
Because I have to
Though it's not what
I want to do

I'll mosey down
this lonely path
because you're the best
I'll never have

Just a lost lonely boy
who realized how stubborn
he has been
and had to let go
of what he will always love
despite his willingness
to fight for it
because he can no longer
let it follow over him
like a black rain cloud
hiding the sunshine
that once was

Back cracks from the weight of the world
Hide in your cell for fear of the light
Donning shackles you could remove any time
Nurturing the same demons you fight
but its what you know so you wont break the binds
Love letters are still left unfurled
Train of thought caught on a one way track
A collision course without any remorse
Speed gaining fast
Even though you know theres still turning back
Going nowhere although you've already been there
surveying war torn scenery with a blank empty stare

Fate always has a different plan
than that of which I make
why should one even plan at all
a forsaken destiny
I cant slap back the hand of god
or applaud the devils nod
when it seems each and every dream
is reality's facade

With passing time
the paint begins to crack
and slowly peels away
Revealing a tainted canvas
of what you really are
as opposed to how I pictured you
I try to figure out
what is more heartbreaking,
Who you really are
or what I wanted to see.
The angel plucking my heartstrings
its lovely sirens song
or the Demon
who ripped them away
leaving a silent void.

I enjoy
a certain air of uncertainty.
Those who think
they have it all determined
and figured out,
are often disappointed
when things go afoul.
Unlike me,
who is pleasantly surprised
with the smallest of victories.

They will never be good enough
my hand will never translate
what my heart and soul wants to say
there is always something missing
there is always too many words
or too little
as I toil over an empty canvas
and all I can do
is keep writing
until I find it.

Never buy a fifth Friday,
   you plan to drink Sunday.

Stifled into servitude
infiltrated
*****, pillaged
consumed
The papers piper
plays their tune
Thick as thieves
they lead you to their ruse
Pay into the fuse
lighting our inevitable doom
Fictitiously facing
agitations of their separation
Believe youre free
to serve a nation
which merely is
a corporation

You cant hurt me anymore
there is nothing left to harm
your charms no longer cause alarm
your spell has been disarmed

You cant hurt me anymore
What can you inflict?
little left to detriment
with your infectious gift.

Some people
learn to give up
yet survive
for years and years
their suicide
is slow
their certain death
hidden behind a smile
a laugh
a word of encouragement
as others **** away
the life they willingly give
as if they hold
some majestic secret
that everyone already knows.
Their acceptance
a prolonged curse
yet immediate blessing.

You're only stabbing the corpse
Of something you already killed

I only saw the light
after I dug myself up
from the thousands of years
of superstitions
we are buried underneath
and left their indecisive
claims of truth
unearthed

Watery eyes
haunted mind
in love with a ghost
whos still alive

This electric séance
tries to revive
what I had once
before I die

I'm smart enough
to know this true
dumb down my trust
just for your ruse

Hidden reasons
I suppress
my heart seizing
my time less

I thought this over
believed it passed
but here I am
with love poems again

and in the end
of this pass through
I shall become
more phantom than you

I the burden
with words effortless
this endless endeavor
this death perfect.