With passing time
the paint begins to crack
and slowly peels away
Revealing a tainted canvas
of what you really are
as opposed to how I pictured you
I try to figure out
what is more heartbreaking,
Who you really are
or what I wanted to see.
The angel plucking my heartstrings
its lovely sirens song
or the Demon
who ripped them away
leaving a silent void.

Throwing eggshells
In my path
And expecting
Me to tread lightly
Will never achieve
The results you desire
For I will always March
With the step of a soldier

There's fates worse than dying,
Like never living at all.

I am my agony
I am my self doubt
I'm the mounting problems
When I'm down and out
I am lack of faith
I am turmoil
My love turned to hate
On this mortal coil
I am discord
I am at a loss
What I can't afford
No matter the cost
I am my confusion
I am my flaws
I am what I am
From surviving them all.

Staying in character
playing the charade
disparaging inheritor
of decisions that were made
Sticking to the act
keep up the appearance
less and less intact
searching for coherence
As a strong minded exterior
veils a war torn landscape within
all motives seem ulterior
in a game not meant to win
Trying to drown demons
clawing at the back of my mind
between dreaming and seething
middle ground is hard to find
above the watermark
where the fluid
seeps through the cracks
of this overused shell
a little bit of heaven
above a vast infinite hell

I would rather pull my teeth
than bite my tongue.

I said I'd go through hell for you
And that's just where I went
to return and find you gone
After my sentence was spent
Who was right?
Who was wrong?
I guess I'll never know
As I carry with me
That journey down below.

Pretending not to care
seems to be
the easiest route
for those with bigger hearts.
Although,
you come to find
as you walk that road
the pitfalls are much more dangerous.

It is becoming
So hard to be that monster
That people admire
Like watching a Trainwreck
Which gives the simple
Something to talk about
And getting older
Makes it more difficult
By the day
I have rendered myself so frail
Fighting a young man's war
Without the concern
Of becoming the old man
Who calls the shots
I fill with worry
That when that beast dies
Because I can no longer maintain him
No one will love
who I actually am
As I wonder
If anyone
Actually ever knew

Chaos
has been
a better friend to me
than faith

Such rare traits
are a blessing
from a non-responsive God.

I enjoy
a certain air of uncertainty.
Those who think
they have it all determined
and figured out,
are often disappointed
when things go afoul.
Unlike me,
who is pleasantly surprised
with the smallest of victories.

I read, and read, and read, and read
and sigh.

Society
it beats you down
With so much
running between
fairy tales
dreams
and commitments
that were seldom our own
Until they were beaten
into our skulls from a young age
But once you start carving notches
in the box they have you living in
or stick your finger through
the pinhole
We look at the universe with
it is hard to go back
to what you once believed
as you search for connection
in a world full of people afraid
to look out the window.

A day will come
When these hands that touched you
will whither to bone
And the mind
Which constantly cradled your memory
Will be no more
Along with the heart that loved you
Which will cease to beat
Although,
It feels as if they already have

I cannot count how many times
My wandering thoughts have laid to die
On winding roads, misleading signs
Their carcasses litter my mind
I cannot help but question why
You remain and do just fine
I found the truth so long ago
Yet somehow you keep a hold

These memories
are but little lingerings
as brief
as the warm breath
felt from a whisper into the ear
like a burnt tongue
or a splintered fingertip
whos pain is only recognized
with even the slightest of touch.

Just follow my wandering mind
my heart will be there.

Some judge silently
some judge loudly
but the worst are those
who do so proudly.

No matter how dark
that same old path I travel
or how long
I keep my feet from walking it
My muse
that I cannot call ugly
in any way
rears her head
and we meet eye to eye
I dont know
how she finds me
that evil *****
has a way about her
Knowing I'm fooled
without flattery
as she asks
how it is I do it.

Let me tag everything
to ruin the journey of emotion.

The only thing
they'll never
take from me,
is me.

Some see gray hair
as a sign of dismay
a show of old age
or frailty
but as for me
its a badge to see
worn with pride
for all I survived
in the games we play
along the way.
I know more recently
than I did without these.
I no longer need
a rule-book to succeed .

That new leaf
You claimed to turn
Looked just as unsightly
As the old one
Although
I only caught a glance
While you blew by
Yet again.

Sometimes
We cherish the good
In our past relationships
That it eclipses the bad
And we forget
Why we walked away

Those who wish
to be madly in love
rarely ever have been
or they would understand
that it is a raging fire
few can hover over
for very long.

All I can do
is watch
the distance grow farther.

I don't feel how I used to feel
or see how I used to see
returning has lost its appeal
reliving in these memories

A warmth builds inside my eyes
haunted by ghosts dead and alive
at times I wished not to reprise
where love resides with broken ties

Is this some phantom imagery
or are they still in front of me?
Their faces can be plainly seen
or maybe I'm just seeing things

Mind in toil
Heart in strife
someday I may get this right
all that I can do is try
even if another life.

Lets glorify our sickness
Lets shout it loud and proudly
face down on our wrongs blindly
Wave flags of bannered shroud

Lets pacify our flaws
erase them each and all
the guise of law inconspicuous
with views of bathrooms and walls

A dictatorships edict
a fanatical revel
those who do not fall in line
are threatened fires of hell

Let us voice the few
and bicker among the many
degrade those of need
and elate those who have plenty

Lets celebrate how we are free
by mimicking celebrities
Wasting away behind our screens
merrily flashing and screaming

  repeat after me. .
     repeat after me. .
         repeat after me.

Our existence is but conception
Humanity but an egg in the womb
It is born
shaped into a toddler
becoming adolescent
into a teenager
young adult
middle aged
and onto elderly
but in the eyes of the universe
We are but ***** cells
on the outside of the vaginal cavity
beginning a long swim
So stop acting like you know everything.

Those awake
and those asleep
at battle with conflicting dreams

Where one cycle ends
there is birth of new beginnings
Sometimes you gain more losing
than you ever could at winning
The outlook is your choosing
learning is a gain
and if you keep reliving
it will remain the same.

I gave my heart
ignoring the facts
and lost my mind
but it came back
Tainted my spirit
sold my soul
gave into vice, lost control
We all forgo a part of us
in anger, fear, misgivings, trust
As long as somethings left to learn
the puzzle pieces can return
with all you lose in search of clues
resilience breathes a life renewed

May I never be content
May I never be complete
For when we stop evolving
We become obsolete

Thats how I sometimes feel
when I put so much work
into a certain poem
that goes unnoticed
while a ten word
I thought up and wrote in minutes
trends.

Look for me in hell
stepping on the Devils tail
demanding how he prevailed
hiding in the details.

For **** sake
please refrain
from using the term
"bae"

There is no lesser evil that benefits the greater good,
The people victims in a system thats misunderstood
Fussing and fighting over money and their policies
Forget the hungry, dying species, and polluted seas

Saying the systems so superb, such a grand thing
being fooled and bamboozled to where we cant think
No longer following our own dreams
So convoluted trapped inside of this grand scheme

Jack of all trades, master of none
they have many games to play, you cant go after just one
Please pretend to have a say, in their controlled outcome
be at ease, go to sleep, as feet stomp to war drums

Is this how we should exist, should I really be ******?
Am I the only who thinks we can do better than this?
Why do so many participate in this ignorance?
Why must we allow fallacies like this to persist?

With a poisonous past
the future
is the only antidote.

I read back my tales of sadness
and smile on them now
Less focused on the madness
I carried on my brow
I've lived
I've loved
I've lost
I've died
I've been both low and high
reflecting on those days and nights
I've never been more alive.

Although
you are no longer
interlocked
with my mortal coil
there are planes
where you can never
be untangled
and while
most of the time
my soul screams for
a relase from such bind
there are clear moments
where it would sacrifice all
to feel so close again

Surrounded by headlamps and tail lights
but its still a lonely road
with nothing to keep me company
but a radio full of static
a dwindling pack of cigarettes
and my *thoughts

Sitting here
with beer in hand
drinking
awaiting better days
but the better days are so few
and the dull nights grow longer
so I crack another open
and discard the last
empty as me
to the corner
not sure how many this has been now
not sure. . .
days. . bottles. . . whatever
drowning aching thoughts
consuming
waiting
for something
maybe for the phone to ring
or a visit from the ones
who have forgotten you
but the women you want
come too late
the ones you dont
come to frequent
neither really care much
they will outlive you anyway
most likely
most do
drinking
away the money
you would otherwise spend
on unaffordable things
that you dont really need
as you cast another
to the pile
bottles upon bottles
in bins
and bags
clattering on a cluttered table
along with crumpled retrospection
hell. . . .
at least there is a bright side
Michigan does have a 10 cent bottle deposit
in which you can take them back
to buy more beer

Beauty is skin deep
but can cut to the bone.

Without inexplicable chaos
true love would never
have a chance

I used to pride myself
On being able
To bounce back from anything
But with this
All there is
Is a sickening thud.

I followed my heart
And lost my mind
With a thinly stretched soul
Stuck intertwined

Bend it till it breaks
Use it till its gone
people, places, objects
pummeled in our palms

Value losing virtue
Appreciation, depreciating
Death hovers above you
Bony fingers reach for greeting

So work it till its worthless
then cast it away
people, places, objects
treated all the same.

I always found
vulgarity endearing
Because *******
That's why

Thanks guys.
I dont know what determines making the daily poem.
but its the first time for me, and Ive been here awhile.
In the end, Im just happy to find people around who still appreciate poetry and take the time to read mine. Much appreciation, keep the purest expression of emotion alive!