She's very much alive
But she is dead to me
The decision wasn't mine
She wanted to be
A tombstone in my mind
A grave inside my heart
A perpetual funeral
That has no end or start
There is no wreath to set
No flowers to lay
The only place that this exists
Is buried in my wake

Even the brightest of birds
Get used to their cage

Twice as bright
half as long
great for those
who don't belong.
Who would want to
on this stage?
Plagiarized
and overplayed
Overwelcoming
its stay
Upon this
obvious
fixed game.

Just keep on
selling myself
until the pieces
are gone.

Sometimes I get angry
that it is so easy
for me to invoke emotion
in others
yet so hard
to do so
within myself.
Then I realize
that at least I still feel something.

Darling
You are so gorgeous
And intelligent
That you dont have to rely
On what society tells you
You should
That your dreams
need not face
The execution
To play these games
With men
Who made the rules
That you enforce
It saddens me
You chose
The former
Over the latter
Because brains
Outlast beauty.
As I watch
a slipping mind
steal away the soul.

Never try to dull your passions
you might just succeed.

If only it was real
if only it was true
Made to feel its me
but most is probably you.
If only I was wrong
if only this was right
if only we belonged
Where we pictured in our minds
If only you would answer
if only you would show
While this grows like cancer
Killing in its throes

In a puzzle
full of round pieces
I am *jagged

She was carnivore
and I was predator
It was just a matter
of who devoured who first
and as I nursed my wounds
I realized
she did nothing to go against
her instinct
even though I wanted her to
I could hold no animosity
as I live to face
the next adversary

Ive heard it said a thousand times
Out of sight, out of mind
All too often I come to find
That in my heart it still subsides
I guess it don't apply to mine
Heavens know how hard Ive tried
a way to hide it deep inside
Though cast aside from prying eyes
I can not bury, no demise
Some things cant be undermined

They own me, they own you
They own your home
They own the schools
Their television tells you what to do
airwaves ordering a land of fools
Believe youre free, just pay the fees
not hard to see the hypocrisy
This rat race they put in place
Dollars chased in lives of waste
Nod and applaud for their only God
Dare not look beyond the facade
Forgo your mind and they will provide
A flag for you to hide behind
Draw closed your window blinds
as they plagiarize what lurks outside.
Step in line and all is fine
Obey their law, follow their signs
buy and sell you, work the wager
acting as its in your favor
This is not the work of saviors
Welcome to the masters chamber.

I may be an introvert
but I am not a loner
I have just been disappointed
by too many humans
time and time again
that when any positive emotion
or vibe is obtained
by the company of another
warning sirens
scream in the back of my head
making every mental
and physical scar
ache once again

I wouldn't have traded our time
For anything
But more.

I can say I never really believed you
I can say I  didn't buy into your ploys
I can say your professions of love
left me unconvinced
I can say I never swallowed your promises
while choking on the ashes of uncertainty
For I knew your fire never burned for me
quite as hot as mine did for you
but, what I cant say
is that I never wished it was different
because then
it would be I
who was the liar

I seek your praise
cant you see?
I want a page
in history
like everybody
stepping on each other
to be proprietary
you *******

My ego is best, cant you tell?
You sell yourselves
but Im no *****
Everyone in line
with hands out for more
Your world revolves my repertoire

So give me mine
before you get yours
before you get yours
before you get yours

My loss, and my gain
are one in the same.

The hauntings have subsided
but I know the ghost remains.

Anyone who still uses the word Alas tries too hard.

Have you ever wondered
what lies beyond the mirage,
or does the ******* they feed you
subdue your entourage?
Being pillaged and plundered
torn asunder by their botched collage.
Essential issues whither
the trivial prevail,
incessant bickering
we applaud, and we hail
As the boys in blue trade in their suits
for masks and camouflage.
Ignoring truth with no dispute,
Lady Liberty's bon voyage.

No sense to question why.
just wave her goodbye
Something in the water
Something in the sky

I'm just fine
fine at fooling myself,
fine at fooling you.
As we all toss each other
the same routine
of weary smiles
and hollow pleasantries.
Sitting here with little
still seems like too much to hold on to.
Watching all that I love
contorted into to lust,
and my visions misshapen.
Buying into the *****
of these shadowy pimps
pushing the American dream.
I feel too awake to buy into it
yet half asleep,
in some prolonged
red, white, and blue haze.
Where we gaze upon the stars
through a pin hole.
Shackled to currency
trying to walk amongst
those grown feral
sniffing out its scent.
A drop of blood in water
a thousand miles away
Yet I'm still trying somehow,
to buy something back
anything that reminds me
I am human.
Swallowing the hemlock,
to push myself
through living the lie,
and help me choke down
the *******
we all like to feed each other. .

Sure, Im fine.

I always stood and faced you
I never turned my back
looking as you walked away
Now I only see your tracks
becoming weathered, cracked
with a blackened plaque
No reason, but still I stay
still, silent, intact.

My shell is peeling
making me feel exposed
naked
all because
I am opening
like a rose
but afraid
its petals will fall too soon
to the harsh conditions
of this world
With icy apathy
neurotic neglect
and scorching storm
crashing against
the rock hard surface
of my own creation
cracking
yet unwavering
far longer
than it should have
but with it
evolution
ready to share
part of me
with the world
like a dead dandelion
scattering its seeds with the wind

They say the truth will set you free
But it seems to have imprisoned me
On the inside looking out
cast below shadows of doubt
I spoke my mind
pled my case
gave my heart
what a waste
cold steel bars I cant elude
erected by the likes of you

He passed up all his chances
he was too afraid
He dreamt of the advances
that he had never made
He never voiced his thoughts
he never spoke his passion
He sat idle and distraught
waiting for some action

People loved him dearly
which he quickly turned away
He never spoke sincerely
or sought to be forgave

He cursed the gods above
for a heart that was not followed
and the state he has become
hollowed just because

of something great that never was.

I am picking up the pieces
of my hazy yesterdays
before my timeline ceases
with all I've broke along the way
Although I am a wreck
I know I tried my best
I laid the path in which I step
with stone my words are etched
Can you say the same?
Can you make such claim?
I stand by my decisions made
and I have no regrets.

It doesn't hurt as it once did
Your silence killed the heart I hid
The love you claimed faded away
When you refrained toying with me
Gaining momentum, more intact
Less and less I'm looking back
Moving forward without you
No longer makes me come unglued
Youre part of me starts to disjoint
As you become a vanishing point

I've started archiving and deleting certain poems. . . I used to share with this site because I enjoyed getting input from strangers who didn't judge my life. It was great input, it helped me learn what people liked, and which lines I should incorporate into my music. But now everything is so socially driven, and I feel alot of good writings take a back seat because of it. Im going to just leave behind some of my more "frilly" poems. I made some good friends here, and read a lot of great work (with much sorting). I will still write here form time to time, but the site just isnt the same to me anymore. Keep writing folks! Its a dying art, and we need up and comers to breathe new life into it.

Don't
  you
have
   some
other
  ****
to
  ****
for
endorsement?

I'm starting to dream again
stopped dwelling in my sins
I quit fearing feelings I've numbed
since we first began
I stopped wondering when
accepted whats within
There is no need to feel complete
I can live on a whim

In my younger
more passionate years
I used to care enough
to command attention
but now
all my ***** are missing to give
So I'm sorry
if I don't pack the prose
or hold all the mysticism of the universe
condensed into one quick sentence
for your small A.D.D minds to absorb
into a nice little package
that you can like
with the simple click of your mouse
but sometimes
I feel the need to ramble
and occasionally
I even enjoy
making enemies
to give meaningless
poems like these
a little substance
but its nearing its end
that few
probably reached the watermark
but if so
you can go
onto your next poem
or videos
of cats playing keyboards.

Just when I think
I have pulled away far enough
I am pulled right back
without any intervention
by you
Yet I stir
in my desolation
awaiting
another to arrive with scissors
sharp enough
to cut me loose

Just a lost lonely boy
who realized how stubborn
he has been
and had to let go
of what he will always love
despite his willingness
to fight for it
because he can no longer
let it follow over him
like a black rain cloud
hiding the sunshine
that once was

I always followed
whats in my heart
not my wallet

Just another
Self loathing
Self destructive
Self proclaimed poet
Who has grown stagnant
In his own numbness
and lost the words
to vent
his pains and frustrations

Its time to brush the dust off
from the past that we both built
It never had a future
and our present fate is sealed
Too many empty seconds
Too many hollow hours
Watering a seedling
which was never meant to flower
Too many months of madness
Too many yearning years
Too few smiles shared
Too many lonesome tears

Have your fun
do your worst
I still run
despite the hurt

Cant adhere
pick the prongs
shear the gear
thats strung along

Beyond mentioned
misconceptions
fuel which I have ran upon
helps me to keep going strong

There are times
I just want to escape the grid
the credit cards
the credit scores
the bills and percentage rates
the charge and taxation
on necessary human commodities
The consumerism
The slaving landscape
The lemming mentality
the ever shadowing electronic
device in my pocket
the focus on obtaining such
Where ignorance
becomes acceptable
to the future of our existence
Where currency
is the the ultimate shackle
that makes us
only clamor for more
the unavoidable contact
with detrimental chemicals
and all the people
who dreamily roll around in it
Sometimes
I just want to buy a cabin
in upper Michigan
too far, useless and meaningless
for any political
or corporate conglomerate to want

but how the hell would I get the internet?

Sometimes the title
makes a ten word
that much easier

I
sabotage
the
wheels

before I get on the wagon.

Fire in one hand
liquid in the other
clutching these crutches
with feelings to smother
the pill
the powder
the *****
these people
my heart on my sleeve
soiled by the deceitful

What fun is life really,
with it all figured out?

I've done my time
Inside my mind
and in my heart
I've come to find
The way to unlock
These cell doors
Is with what's mine
not what's yours

I used to daydream
that one day
I would tell our children
the story of us
A tale full of trials
and tribulations
roadblocks, detours, fences, hurdles
heartache and longing
fate and destiny
a coupling that seemed impossible
which would rival
all the fairy tales throughout history
where love still
somehow conquered all
as you looked upon my telling
with that adorable
wrinkled look on your face
of disapproval
but sadly,
I realize
it is a story I'll never get to tell.

Maybe it was insane
it may all be in vain
but given a second go
I'd do it all again the same

Over the years
all that you said
the glimmer in your eyes
with the way you looked at me
The words exchanged
those perfect moments in your arms
regardless of how seldom
and far between
they may have been
neither of us could escape
the passion shared
in spite of the short distance
that seemed a million miles
or how fate
always seemed to bring us back
to each others presence
as if time and space deemed it
which we always returned to
as if it were yesterday
when we least expected
but its your silence
that almost convinces me
it never meant a thing.

The forbidden fruit
has long since
rotted from the vine

I brushed off the dust
left by many of you
I know where to lay my trust
ready to start anew

Disbanded numerous negative ones
and I'm left with the positive few

I will not grip the void
waiting for nothing to come
I've added all the factors
and tallied all the sums

I don't have much,
when it comes to ownership
Most of my earnings
were invested in experiences
Instead of possessions
Most of my time
Was spent on building a soul
Instead of a collection of objects
I honed my skills on creation
Instead of consumption
My concerns lie with
personal contribution
Over financial status
My allegiance is to brutal honesty
Opposed to comforting lies
I chose the mindset of evolution
Over stagnation
A mantra of the status quo
I have fought a life-long battle
against being jaded and apathetic
Instead of embracing it
For the acceptance of my peers
Because I chose to make a life
Instead of a living
and with everything I've lost
a little more is gained

Maybe she isn't real
the girl I saw in you
She would not make me feel
the way you often do
Perhaps you truly only
exist in my mind
the dream girl
who steals my lonely sleep
impossible to find