My life existed
before your presence
I  never needed you
or to hear your voice
nor feel your touch
or share a moment
that brought a smile
to my face
in the worst of times
but I did want you
I still do
and that life
I look back on
feels that much
more empty
because of it.
Yet it still
merely exists
just as before

Letting the vultures pick my bones
For all the love I have disowned
There's no Embrace which I call home
I am more comfortable alone

For all the times that I have tried
To nurse something destined to die
A life derived by hearts of stone
I guess I'm better off alone

Emotions I will not deny
only to wind up crucified
the gray areas I roam
is probably why I am alone

If I knew
that was the last time
I would see you
I would have tried
to retain a clearer memory
but now
all I have
is a distorted image
like a misted mirror.

I wish I never saw your face
I wish I never heard your voice
I wish I'd never given chase
I wish I never made that choice

I wish I never felt your touch
I wish we never shared those stares
I wish I said enoughs enough
I wish that I just didn't care

I wish for different circumstance
I wish we never had romance
I wish that I could change my stance
So future love could have a chance

Stifled into servitude
infiltrated
*****, pillaged
consumed
The papers piper
plays their tune
Thick as thieves
they lead you to their ruse
Pay into the fuse
lighting our inevitable doom
Fictitiously facing
agitations of their separation
Believe youre free
to serve a nation
which merely is
a corporation

Large
eloquent
words
with attempts
to show
big emotion
scattered
with small words
to drive it home.

Some people
learn to give up
yet survive
for years and years
their suicide
is slow
their certain death
hidden behind a smile
a laugh
a word of encouragement
as others **** away
the life they willingly give
as if they hold
some majestic secret
that everyone already knows.
Their acceptance
a prolonged curse
yet immediate blessing.