Your smile.
    Your eyes,
       Your lips,
         Your hair,
           Your voice,
             Your laugh,
               Your hands,
                 Your smirk,
                   Your teasing,
                     Your humor,
                       Your weird faces,
                         The way you walk,
                           The way you say my name,
                             The way you look,
                               The way you talk,
                                 Your singing,
                                   Your body,
                                     *You

Roses are red,
                         violets are blue,
                                                     when things fall apart,
                                                                                            love is our glue.

I'm So fed up,
People always telling me,
I'm a sin,
That it's wrong I love a girl,
It's wrong I am able to go to bed at night happy,
It's so wrong,
And that I am going to hell,
What If
It was wrong that you were  boy that loved a girl,
Or a girl that loved a boy,
How could you go to sleep at night happy,
You're a sin,
You're going to hell,
That's nasty,
But
Yet, I sit back,
And Let you love,
Is it that bad?
Because I promise,
I'll take going to hell,
Over this girl..

I just want to be with you,
That's all,
But I know that I can't,
Because no one wants us together,

i know this is a place for poems, but I need to let this out. I am over whelmed and I don't want to be here anymore, and o its not just her. It ls everything. And I simply just am giving up..

Last night,
I was going to end it all,
But when you said those words,
"Baby I love you"
I broke into tears,
I feel broken,
Like my chest is empty,
And it's closing up,
But when I'm with you I feel,
Like everything is okay again,
The words,
"we are getting worse and worse and we will end up braking up"
It broke me,
I lost all hope,
And gave up,
6 days and it makes 5 months,
Why give up now,
If we think about it they didn't want us together at the beginning either,
Last night,
I told you I couldn't make it through the night,
But you said you knew I could,
That's the first time I have ever heard that,
It made me smile when I was in tears,
Last night,
You had to get off the phone,
When we hung up,
I went straight to bed,
But I didn't sleep,
I couldn't find out why,
But this morning,
I realized the only thing on my mind last night,
Was you and why I couldn't loose you,
Yes, today I seem a little weird,
But, I still feel empty,
And like my chest is closing,
And Today I can't seem to come back to reality,
And it hurts,
So don't take what I say today,
As I am being a *****,
Because I can't even seem to know where or what I am doing today..
Just know I love you..

Drowning,
Deep down,
Flooding inside,
Facing life,
Feeling as if I had no say,
And feeling as if I had no life,
Drowning,
Deep Down,
No feelings inside,
Nor the outside,
Broken,
Physically,
Mentally,
Emotionally,
Drowning,
Dee­p Down,
It's all coming to an end,
Scars,
And more scars,
Inside and out,
No one to save me,
No one to help,
Drowning,
Deep down,
My wrist are flooding,
My brain is exploding,
And it's all simply about to come to an end,
Drowning,
Deep down,
No feeling in my body,
No feeling in my life,
Is there a meaning in being alive,
Drowning,
Deep down..

*****,
But didn't you know,
Know who the hell you were talking to,
Like that?
*****,
I'll beat the **** out of you,
I'm done holding it all back,
I'm show my self and,
Get put on probation,
Again,
But *****,
Who the hell you talking to like that? ✋

Don't you,
You hear,
Hear the,
The stuttering,
Stuttering between,
Between the,
The words,
Words when,
When I,
I say,
I am,
Am Fine,
Because I,
I feel,
Feel the,
The pain,
Pain of,
Of the,
The Lie,
As I,
I say,
Say it,
You Didn't know,
Did you,
Because my whole life is a lie,
I'm NOT fine..

This weekend,
weekend of hell,
Overdose was the reward,
I couldn't take the pain,
But I end up still being here,
Last night,
I ****** up,
Like always,
And now i'm zero days clean,
What a surprise?
No,
Because I'm known as a mess up,
I couldn't take the pain..

Tomorrow..
I'm braking all over again,
Crying my eyes out,
Crying to sleep,
Tomorrow,
Not feeling alive,
Because I realize,
Where are you?
Not here living,
With me,
Devin,
Why did you leave,
I can't take this pain,
I'm braking,
Ugh..

Put a smile on your face,
You're always looking so sad,
It makes everyone around you,
Sad as well,
but
Instead of that,
Why not say,
Why do you look so sad,
Is something wrong,
Do you want to talk,
Are you okay,
A smile looks good on you,
Try it out beautiful?
Not always about you and other people,
Because just what you don't know is that,
They could be hiding so much more then just that smile,
That you claim you never see,

You all thought I was kidding.
Kidding when I said I mess up.
Mess up with ever chance I get.
No matter what.
I find a way.
And this one out of all the times.
This one hurts the most.
So without her.
My story ends here.
I'm saying goodbye.
I can't take it anymore.

Ohh me I fall in love with you everyday.

You know.
You know.
I love you.
I've loved you along.
I dream over you loving me.
I'll stop breathing.
So never let me go.
Hold on to me and never let me go.
Because I need.
To hear you say.
I love you.

Today I have smiled,
Smiled more then ever,
My family is all getting along,
And I'm happy with the way I look for now,
I'm seeing a few old friends,
My girl is going to be able to see me soon,
My life is turning right side up for once.
Just a few more things I need to get right.

When she has too get off the phone,
And your world crashes,
Because honestly all you want to hear,
Is her voice,
ugh..

I feel like I'm invisible,
I feel like no one sees,
I feel like you don't care,
I feel like I'm invisible,
So here is to the people,
That feel like they are invisible.

Out of all the girls,
She be the hottest,
Like the way she brake down,
I see you girl,
When she looking at me,
Yeah, she got my attention.

The angel lost her grace,
As mascara ran down her face.
She forgot love, remembered hate.
She no longer had her faith.

With tear stained cheeks,
Through bloodshot eyes,
She saw only pain and suffering.
Love, she couldn't conquer.

As the blue sky faded to black,
Darkness filled her heart.
Her wings vanished from her back,
And her kindness fell apart.

Even with all her might,
Her dress still went black from white.
She was sent to save,
To help those who weren't brave.

But as she looked around,
At the marks she left...
Tear stained cheeks,
And bloodshot eyes.



And as in she I mean *me

And hey darling
           I hope you're good tonight
                     And I know you don't feel right when I'm leaving
                                 Yeah I want it but no I don't need it
                                         Tell me something sweet to get me by
                                               Cause I can't come back home till they're singing

                                                              La, la la la la la la
                                                                   'Til everyone is singing

School makes me sick,
You get up and get dressed,
In the clothes you think someone there will like,
You get up and do your makeup,
So people say you're pretty,
But that's not you,
That's you're makeup,
School makes me sick,
You get up and do you're hair,
Hoping someone will realize it looks different,
School makes me sick,
You don't  eat because no one can see you,
You have to hide your cuts,
Who and what you love,
School makes me sick,
Popular people,
Lame people,
Rich people,
Poor people,
Freaks,
Cute people,
School makes me sick.

I just felt everything crash,
I just felt like I died but still having to stay on Earth,
Ugh

She's only 17, her whole life's ahead of her
She hates school because the people there discredit her
Her boyfriend tries to show her that's not how it seems
But every day she just gets lowered with her self-esteem
He lets her know that every night will have a brighter day
She even tried to overdose and take her life away
She's feeling hopeless there just sitting down beside her bed
And then he takes his hand and places it beside her head
He tries to hold her, but with every touch she still resists
And then he sees the scars that bury deep within her wrists
She's feeling numb, he starts to beg and plead and ask her why
She says this way she has control of pain she feels inside
He's asking her, "How long it's going since you've felt this way?
Because you've got me here just feeling so **** helpless"
She says, "It's been a while; I guess I needed better luck
And then he screams at her and tells her, "Baby, never cut!"
Nobody seems to get you, you feel you're on your own
But listen, pretty lady, you don't have to be alone
So baby, don't cut, baby, don't cut
You can do anything, just promise, baby, you won't cut
I know your heart is hurting, you think the road has end
You may just feel that blade you're holding is your only friend
But baby, don't cut, baby, don't cut
You can do anything, just promise, baby, you won't cut
The next day at school she's feeling better than the day before
Even cracked a couple smiles as she walked the corridor
But all that seemed to end, she dropped her books as she went into class. And every student in the room just seemed to point and laugh
She couldn't take it anymore, she sent her boy a text
It said, "I love you with my body, heart and soul to death"
He thought nothing, typed "I love you"; then he sent it
By death he didn't know that she had literally just meant it
She ducked the next class, ran home into her bathroom
Thought to herself she wouldn't brake her promise that soon
One cut... two cuts... three cuts... four
The blood just started dripping from the tub to the floor
Her boyfriend had a feeling in his stomach that he hated
He followed it and ran down to her house, he never waited
The front door was open, he heard the water running
He stormed into the bathroom, and his heart just started gunning
He puts her arm around his shoulder, he's trying to lean her back up
Yelling out her name as he lays her beside the bathtub
He feels his whole world just took a hit from a big avalanche
Screaming out so heavily, "Somebody call an ambulance!"
Felling mad angry, like somebody's led her on to this
Her eyeballs are rolling, drifting out of consciousness
Thinking to himself "Why the hell didn't she stop at will?"
The tears just keep on rolling as they head to the hospital
Paramedics rush her in, doctor calls emergency
She's lost a lot of blood, the place looks like a ****** scene
An hour later, the doc walks in with a sour face
And says, "Excuse me for the words that I'm about to say
I'm sorry for your loss," the boy just starts collapsing
His own world, his own girl just took a crashing
Saying to himself that it's his fault and that he let it up
Baby, I thought you promised you would never cut...

Ill be back,
In like a hour or two,
I'm going to go for,

a "walk"

I guess since I have been broke many,
Many times before,
I can feel when my world is about to,
Crumble and go to ****,
And tonight is the night,
Just great,
I don't even care about anything anymore,
So If you ask me anything more then likely you will get,
"I dont care anymore" take it how you want,
I'm done,
**** this,
I think the silver beast is going to be my best friend,
&& I have only made it four days clean..

Eat dinner,
Smile,
Yeah its great,
Go to your room,
Go to the bathroom,
Run the water because your washing your face,
And as you shove your fingers down your throat you cry,
When everything you ate comes up,
And your body feels okay again,
Walk out like nothing happened in smile,
**relapse

I think they do it to toy with me,
They haven't said,
Anything about it,
And is all happy,
Its going by well,
Why say anything,
I'll just keep quiet,
Thank god!

Sending me away,
Don't "help me"
tbh,
It hurts me more,
Like you don't want me,
Think I'm crazy,
Don't care,
So,
I'm not going anywhere,
That's a promise,
And I WILL fight back

Her eyes so beautiful,
Just like the sea,
But that wasn't all,
Behind those,
The tears fall,
Secrets no one,
At all could know,
Scars that are hidden,
Deep down,
If you look,
At the girl I am,
It's not really me..
The monster inside is attacking me,
No one sees,
The girl that I could really be..

I just got a text,
They know,
What will it be like when I get home,
I'm scared,
I don't want to go home,
I might not..
I can't take it,
I don't need it,
Sorry

She is slowly,
Slow slipping away,
And there for I,
I am slowly dying,
They are slowly taking her away,
Yet she don't see it,
Me seeing her,
Her cry kills me,
Because I could,
Could brake into tears,
As well but,
I have to stay strong for her,
I love you,
And I'm sorry..

******* think,
Thin they,
They know,
Know me,
Me and my,
My Girl,
******* yall,
Yall dont,
Dont know,
Know ****,
She has,
Has fixed my,
My missing,
Missing pieces,
Like a,
A puzzle,
Piece,
So do,
Do us,
A favor,
Get lost,
*******.

This coming Tuesday,
I'm going to brake all over again,
You could be turning 15,
But you left,
You are gone,
So to..your grave,
I go this weekend,
To let my tears fall on you...

I cant..
I cant take this anymore..
I'm done I have no reason to live,
To breathe,
To feel,
I've lost you,
Along with all my hope,
All my faith,
And strength,
So this is the end,
Don't sweat it,
I'm not coming back,
....

I want you,
I need you,
And I want you to see that,
**** it,
The thought of loosing you makes me want to **** myself,
I've attempted,
Don't you remember?
Don't you see?
I can't say it anymore then what I have,
I need you,
I want you,
I'm your girlfriend,
I'm suppose to know,
I'm suppose to care,
I don't know if you have ever had one that does,
But I do..
And I'm here to stay,
So get use to it,
I should  be the one you come to,
I don't know what is wrong,
I don't know how else to say,
I need you,
I want you,
I want you to be the one I marry,
I want you to be the one I have kids with,
And get my life right,
And all that ****,
But you simply don't see that,
It's like it is all blind to you,
And it kills me..
So More like If  you leave take this as my,
Goodbye note,
Love you.
D
O
N
**E

You can't take her away from me,
She is part of me,
I would die,
Mentally,
Physically,
Emotionally,
She is my world,
My sweetheart,
My baby,
My babe,
My babygirl,
My everything,
My Future wife,
Please,
Please,
Stay with me,
Don't let them take you,
Away from me..

Why pretend?
Everyone always ask,
Why pretend?
So here is your answer,
Through out my childhood,
I was taught what happens today,
Happens today,
Don't bring it up tomorrow,
Because its a new day,
Don't cry you're too old,
Move on,
I'll take you to therapy,
Then you won't cut,
No.
I'm sorry but no.
Therapy doesn't help,
And neither does you judging me,
You will be okay,
Smile,
It's not hard,
Smile,
Even if you're not happy,
I'll be back in a few weeks,
Okay.
Freaking out as I lock the door home alone,
But,
She is my mother,
The one that birthed me,
I love her,
I'm who I am today,
Because of her,
So that's why I pretend,
Because the world don't care,
And you don't either so,
Stop saying you do.

I don't want to be here..
I don't want to be alive,
I don't want to feel anymore,
I don't want to cry anymore,
I don't want to smile anymore,
I don't want to be here,
But
I'm going to be here,
I'm going to be alive,
I'm going to feel,
I'm going to cry,
I'm going to smile,
I'm going to be here,
For one person and one thing from her,
For my world as I refer to Leah,
And the one thing is for her to love me..

Didn't you know?
Its all because of me,
It's all my fault,
I hurt you,
I hurt them,
I hurt me,
Didn't you know?
It's all because of me,
It's all my fault..