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 Aug 2014 Girl---unwanted
furies
Never will it be said
That she was a genius.
Never will it be said
That she was talented.
Never will it be said
That she spoke kindly.
Never will it be said
That she was beautiful.
Never will it be said
That she carried value.

What will be said
Is that she was normal.
That she was average.
That she was capable
of ******* everything up.
That she didn't try enough,
didn't achieve enough,
didn't listen to what
would have saved her soul.
What will be said
Is that she wasn't terrible,
just mean.
Is that she wasn't stupid,
just dumb.
Is that she wasn't a gem,
just a pebble.

Scuffed soul,
scuffed body.
Imperfections layered
to cover the disappointments
of never being
anything
of worth.
 Aug 2014 Girl---unwanted
Adele
Maybe if I step on
enough flowers
or break
enough  
hearts  
I just might forget
I'm made of broken parts
my fave piece </3
It's getting pretty dark in here.

I have no words for this void, no
Name for this emptiness,
Other than
That.

I have narrowing vision and a
Spinning head. Tears in my
Eyes, and am feeling sick.

I have not a grain of familiarity within my
Reach; I could be anyone
Anywhere.

How the Hell can a heart
Take as many beatings as
This old thing, and still

Keep beating back?
It's been broken,
Bruised and cut.

A worthy opponent
To the World.
"If any negative thought lingers, he let it vent.
Wrote this one with his ******* in wet cement. "*

I don't want to lose you
but I can't continue trying this hard.
I can't put forth the effort to maintain this,
when you give none.
I can't think of any more ways to say this
so I'll say it simple: I love you and I'm losing you.
When I think about our future,
I think about lounging on the couch, Sunday afternoon,
watching our favorite t.v. show and eating pizza hut in our underwear; because we were too lazy to cook dinner and we like being comfy.
I think about playing hide-n-seek, tag, and many other childish games because deep down we'll never truly grow up.
I think about having our own privacy,
exploring each others bodies like they're undiscovered art at the bottom of the ocean.
I think about having to wake up early for work,
how we'd kiss goodbye and say "I love you."
(we'd always say "I love you." too much)
I think about how I'd always call during lunch breaks,
and if you happened to not answer I'd leave a voicemail just so you could hear my voice and know I was thinking of you.
I think about getting home late, running through the front door and yelling "Honey, I'm home!" at the top of my lungs; being showered in kisses and being carried to bed.
I think about how I'd make up silly rules like "No clothes allowed!"
how you'd just laugh at me for being such a dork,
but you'd still follow the rule.
You'd strip down to nothing then pick me up and carry me to our bedroom and take my clothes off of me,
laughing when you fumbled with my bra strap and me laughing along as I helped you.
I think about how after making love we'd just lay there together and sleep.
Two messes all tangled up in bed sheets.
I think about how some nights we'll keep each other up late at night,
talking for hours about anything and everything.
I think about how we'll treat each other like we're a king and a queen living in a castle for all eternity.
I think about how we'll fight- not a lot, but believe me we will.
Though of course, with a fight, will always come a make-up.
And boy, will we make-up.
We'll cry and hold each other no matter how tough life gets.
We're invincible, me and you.
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