I walked into our parish church
A total stranger there I'd be.
I choose a pew where I was on my own
As I didn't think I needed company.
I bowed my head and closed my eyes
Intending to say a prayer.
I tried to focus on what I'd say
But the words just were not there.
I lit a candle in your honor
On the left side of the knave.
I promised myself I would not cry
But I guess I’m not that brave.
I saw the candle flame flicker
And I felt a warmth down deep inside.
In my mind I heard your voice
Like you were there right by my side.
Your presence gave me courage
And the prayer that I could not say.
Came to me in that instance
Then it slowly faded away.
If anybody had seen me
I wondered, what they would have said.
I was talking to your candle
As if you'd risen from the dead.

So many thoughts swirl through my mind
I've been troubled now for quite a while.
But no one sees my darkest thoughts
As they hide in secret behind my smile.
Anxiety chills the warmest nights
Some I barely get to make it through
Disguised in public so they don't know
It helps to crack a joke or two.
A simple tear rolls down my cheek
My self-pity consumes my body
Yet people think my life is good
I’ve managed to fool most everybody
Like a rodeo clown, I mess around
And hope that nobody will see
But there's one person, I cannot fool
And that person, I know is me.