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 Apr 2013 Gregory K Nelson
marina
i wish i could erase all the worlds you've
ever whispered into my ear,
but my blood runs thick with ink
instead of graphite and lead,
and my bones are heavy with every
syllable you ever spoke.
i'm really lonely right now.
Daddy found the website.
He asked me what it was.
I told him that I didn't know.
I'd never seen it before.
Sweet lies rolling off my tongue so my secrets wouldn't be poured out like sour milk.
So that's why now I've changed my name.
I'm still the same writer, same person, same girl.
I'm just full of hidden damage.
I've been torn apart by this world
Cant seem to get through,
These walls that are put up,
The whole world against us,
No body can see it,
No one will believe it,
They don't understand,
We take life by the hand,
Come to my side,
See life through my eyes,
Tear down the wall,
Lets watch it fall,
Crumble to pieces,
Turn into gold,
We will keep on living,
Even when the hearts go cold,
Take away the pain,
Let go of the shame,
Find all the reasons,
Why we keep believing,
Someday we will find out,
What we really are about,
Why we take things for granted,
I will never really understand it,
Don't lose the light that you have,
Don't fade out the colors of the world,
These things we will never see again,
Soon everything will be pitch black,
Search out the things that make you strong,
Because soon those will be long gone,
Let life take your hand,
Let it guide you across this small amount of land,
Be sure to thank it,
For every second it gives to you,
Do it now while you still can,
Someday it will be too late,
You will regret it if you don't,
Don't die regretting fate,
Take the risks,
See where it gets you,
Don't look for shortcuts,
You will find them where you don't want them,
Someday you will look back,
Asking if you could go to the good old days,
Life is short,
Eternity is forever,
No one lives an eternity,
So live like you are living life,
Wasting time is just taking time,
From someone else who wanted it,
To say goodbye to the ones they love,
To look at the trees and skies above,
Time keeps going by,
We know nothing about it,
No true measurement,
What is time?
We do not know those answers,
All we know is we don't have much of it,
To find out what it actually is,
No body can see it,
No one will believe it,
We can't get through the walls that surround us,
If only we will see it clearly,
The life we live is here and now,
So live it until the time runs out.
BPNOS
EDNOS
PTSD
MDD
OCD
I am each
And
All of these
Cursed
But
Blessed
They
Make
Me,
Me
Scared to put this out there, but hoping it helps others somehow.
There is no lull.
The weight has shifted.
My world is shook.
A layer lifted.
The time it took.
I think I missed it.
Every time i see you, my mind goes blank.
Frustratingly, so do all the things i wish to say to you.
For some reason, though, our memories still dance before my eyes.
As i think maybe the same thing has happened to you,
Curiously, i look into your ocean eyes. and what do i see?
Emptiness.
Dead. you killed us. i am dead to you.
And at this point,
I don't know what to do with myself.

I find that I can't stop chasing memories.

Whether or not I should stay,
Is unknown.
But the thought of going back,
Following you into the forest every night,
Teases me
As I watch the sun set,
And the moon rise.

Hiding from the stars.
Tempting me
With your sweet eyes
And your long fingers
That with a snap,
Could break my heart once again.

Yet all I can tell myself,
Is that until I see you again
And follow right in your footsteps
I am lost.
And forever will be.
I'm not really sure it's just some ideas jumbled together, sorry.
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